Ectopic pregnancy .... Help !!

[Sarahxx]

Hi I have just joined this site to try and get help from people who have been through similar or can relate to my heartache ! Last year I was struggling to fall pregnant and I was referred to a fertility clinic and was told I needed IVF due to blocked tubes. I went through all tests and am now presently waiting to start the treatment.

3 weeks ago I was feeling strange and my body did not feel normal so to speak ... Something inside told me to do a pregnancy test and I carried out 4 and all were positive I was referred straight to the early pregnancy unit. I was so happy couldn't believe it. The next day I went for my scan and they could not see anything then I had to get an internal scan and the found the pregnancy sac in my left tube. I was 8 weeks pregnant. I was taken straight in to surgery and the tube and pregnancy removed. I am in tears writing this because I still can't believe it. While waiting to be taken to theater I held my left hand side and apologized to my small baby for being a failure. I feel that everyone expects me to get back to normal and be the happy bubbly person I have always been. Every night I cry myself to sleep when no one can hear me. I'm scared that I will have another ectopic pregnancy .... I just feel nobody understands! Please help me xxxxxx

Sorry for going on a bit xx

 

[karenandbump]

oh honey...I'm so sorry to read that u r going through this and please don't feel that ur a fasilure - ur not, its an awful, awful thing that has happened but it's not ur fault. I don't have any experience of ecptopic pregnancy myself (I did have a m/c earlier in the year) but I have a very close friend who has been through it and it was devestating for her...what I would say is that she's now the mum to a beautiful little girl with baby number 2 on the way so please don't give up.

Thinking of u at this difficult time hon and the support on here is really helpful so please keep talking to us x x x

 

[bonbon]

hi sarah, hun i went through the same thing although i didnt know my tube was damaged, i found out i was pg the same way as you just had that certain feeling and had a test done, but to be honest thinking back i knew something was wrong instinct i think kicked in and around 8 weeks i took my self to hospital for no reason but instinct it was late around 8.30pm and told them i needed help i refused to leave until i was scanned, after much persuation they did and sure enough was sent to theatre within minutes of them realising it was in my right tube!! and i did the same opoligised to my little peanut for not being able to carry on...but hun its not your fault it wasnt mine either its a horrible thing that has happened but one of those things life chucks at us and is completely out of our control if you need to talk just come on here everyone is so lovely and understanding its the only place i can go and really let out my frustrations and worries take it easy hun i know its difficult but we are all here for you take care my love...xxx

 

[Sarahxx]

Thank you so much it's so lovely to know that I have all the help and support of my new friends ... Just the most difficult thing I have ever had to deal with and now I am facing terrible fear of it happening again therefore this is impacting my relationship. My husband is supporting but he does not talk to me about it he just cuddles me when I cry and tell me everything is going to be ok but I still struggle to believe it xx

 

[Kiwi]

Oh hon, I'm so sorry to read your story. I don't have any experience of ectopic pregnancy and can only imagine how awful it must be for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you x

 

[xshauna_bazx]

No advice but im so sorry you had to go through this, big to you keep strong xxx

 

[rachaellouise]

So sorry, this must have been awful for you!

 

[Buzby]

So sorry to hear your news.

I had a friend who went through exactly the same thing and she went on to have a lovely little boy. Don't give up hope. xx

 

[JJ Mum]

Sarah I am so sorry this happened, I don't know about Ectopic , but lost a baby at 12 weeks in march, so can only guess what you must be going through, hang in there it will happen for you X

 

[Sarahxx]

Thank you so much gives me so much hope xx

 

[k8_005]

suffering a pregnancy loss at any stage is a heartbreaking expierinace and while people will sympathise they wont understand your feelings unless they have had it happen. it is terrible to know you have made the best choice by having the baby terminated especially when it is such a wanted and loved baby even at such a small stage. i had a surgical termination yesterday (can see my thread for more details but was also for medical reasons) im at peace with my decision as my baby had no chance of life but i cannot be as happy as i used to be, it will take time iv had almost 2 weeks now to come to terms with the idea of my baby being lost but it wasnt until today (1dday after termination) i really feel the loss and emptyness. time will heal but you will always remember, what about doing a memorial of some sort, we are planning to plant a rose bush in memory of our fetus, you could do something similar or a tree etc, we felt a rose bush was nicest as we could nurture it and see it blossom and bloom, do not let this stop you trying again (when you feel ready) you can discuss with a doctor the risks to future pregnancys and anything that can be done to mitigate against them. thinking of you biggest hugs xxx

 

[longingforabump]

Ive also had an ectopic recently, this year (sept 11th was my operation date).
I was pregnant and had problems and was told it was a miscarriage (although docs never tested me) and after 5 weeks of bleeding and several misdiagnoses(es?!) later I was in hospital being told I was 2 months pregnant and it was ectopic, on my left side, had ruptered and i was dying from internal bleeding. I had the tube and bean removed on 11th and have been struggling ever since with it emotionally.

Huge hugs for you because from the heart hun i know how much it kills

 

[Rachey]

Hey hunny, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, sending you all the hugs in the world

I had an ectopic last year and my right tube removed and I'm now 6 weeks pregnant, I was terrified of another ectopic but when I went for my scan today it showed baby in the right place! I just wanted to tell you that to give you hope, because you've had an ectopic doesnt mean you wont go on to have a perfectly healthy pregnancy hun

I know that you must feel totally devestated just now, and you probably feel like your never going to feel yourself again. But although you will never forget your little angel, every day it gets that little bit easier sweetie

xxx

 

[bayleaf]

I've never been on a forum before but really need to 'talk' to someone. My boyfriend has been so amazing but I feel he's at the end of his tether and my friends are so supportive but don't have any answers and they don't understand.

I lost my baby (9 weeks) and my fallopian tube because of an ectopic pregnancy 2 weeks ago when we were in France on holiday and I still don't know what it all means. I'm so sad and confused and I feel so bad for leaving my little Squidly in another country and I know it's crazy but I still love him! Was he still alive when they took him? How big was he? Did they just flush him away? What happens to my redundant ovary if I've lost the tube? Should I still be getting small pains in my other tube from the surgery? It feels raw in that whole 'department' like when I pee, it feels a bit sensitive.

I bled after for a few days and now nothing. When will I get my period?

I haven't even replied to the thread! Sorry. Am not sure how this works.

To the first lady. I feel exactly the same. I have such a void in my heart and I know it's not my fault but I can't help feeling like a failure. I've known all my life it would be hard for me and then I found I was pregnant without even trying and was so excited and now I'm down to one ovary. So I was right to doubt myself. I know I have to look forward but right now I feel so bad for my little Squidly, wherever he is.

x

 

[laurat]

Hi bayleaf,

Firstly Im really sorry for your loss! It truely is the worst experience you can go through! You go through every type of emotion and its very hard! It is natural to already feel a connection with your little bean. There are lots of wonderful ladies in here who are so helpful and supportive of one another. Firstly when grieving then in other sections when ttc again. In terms of advice about ectopic pregnancy I cant help greatly as I had a natural mc. If you maybe go to the top of this message and there should be darker writing that says miscarriage or loss and click on it. It will give you the opportunity to start your own 'thread' in the forum that will be up to date unlike this one. You can ask for advice etc and I know you will get it! Big Hug! Xx