Hi,
I found that today I was brave enough to come onto this website and found myself wanting to share mine. Sorry if it is going to be long, I just need to find people that have been through this to listen and understand what I am going through and to give advice and support. I find myself thinking am I the one that cant carry on with life and is there something wrong with me? I find myself crying and bursting into tears for no reason, and if I am in town I get jealous of new mums and their babies. This for me is unheard of as I dont get jealous!
Anyway, here is my story:
I found out that I was pregnant in the middle of September; I was ecstatic and really happy, even though my partner was still in Australia. I had just come back to sell the house and tidy up a few things before going back. However, there were problems and I started to bleed, it was a dark reddish brown color but not had any pain. I rang my Dr about this and he told me not to do anything for 2 weeks, as it could be signs of implantation bleeding or a miscarriage, and to come back after the 2 weeks.
As you can imagine I was devastated by this as I thought something was wrong. I did not take this as word, but I went to an early pregnancy clinic (EPC)on the Friday instead at the local hospital. They performed several scans on me, both ultrasound and internal and they could not find the baby but only a large cyst on my left ovary which they said was internally hemorrhaging and thus causing the blood, but nothing to worry about and to take things easy. In regards to the baby, they said it was too early to tell, and to come back a week later for the scan and hopefully by then I should see my baby on the scan, everything was going well. They also took a blood test to measure for HCG hormones and to go back in 48 hours (on the Sunday) for another blood test to use both HCG hormone levels for comparison. They also said that at least I was not in any pain and to rest and take things easy.
The following Monday, I woke up and I was gushing blood and in severe agony in my right side. I phoned the EPC and they said to get an ambulance to hospital. It was a hellish day and one where I do not believe at all in God anymore. When at hospital I several scans and the results from my blood tests were back, showing a rise of 56.7%, I was then taken to ultrasound to have scans done. I was told that I was having an ectopic pregnancy and that the baby was stuck in my right tube, and due to the amount of pain I was in, they had to operate straight away other wise my tube would burst and I could die. I was completely and utterly devastated, and was in shock. A week earlier, I had found out I was expecting then a week later it was taken away from me. The operation took my baby and my right fallopian tube, and was told that I had been 6 weeks pregnant. I was in hospital for 5 days. I still am very emotional and upset. The registrar also said that having any children in the future is going to be very hard as the chance of having another ectopic is extremely high, even though they have taken my right tube it can happen in the left.
What makes it harder is the fact that my partner is still in Australia, and has only been in contact by phone.
I have my moments where I just break down and cry, as I wanted that baby. My partner sees it, as at least I am still alive.
I try to block it all out my mind but sometimes I just break down and cry. Please help or give me advise.. I am devastated!
I found that today I was brave enough to come onto this website and found myself wanting to share mine. Sorry if it is going to be long, I just need to find people that have been through this to listen and understand what I am going through and to give advice and support. I find myself thinking am I the one that cant carry on with life and is there something wrong with me? I find myself crying and bursting into tears for no reason, and if I am in town I get jealous of new mums and their babies. This for me is unheard of as I dont get jealous!
Anyway, here is my story:
I found out that I was pregnant in the middle of September; I was ecstatic and really happy, even though my partner was still in Australia. I had just come back to sell the house and tidy up a few things before going back. However, there were problems and I started to bleed, it was a dark reddish brown color but not had any pain. I rang my Dr about this and he told me not to do anything for 2 weeks, as it could be signs of implantation bleeding or a miscarriage, and to come back after the 2 weeks.
As you can imagine I was devastated by this as I thought something was wrong. I did not take this as word, but I went to an early pregnancy clinic (EPC)on the Friday instead at the local hospital. They performed several scans on me, both ultrasound and internal and they could not find the baby but only a large cyst on my left ovary which they said was internally hemorrhaging and thus causing the blood, but nothing to worry about and to take things easy. In regards to the baby, they said it was too early to tell, and to come back a week later for the scan and hopefully by then I should see my baby on the scan, everything was going well. They also took a blood test to measure for HCG hormones and to go back in 48 hours (on the Sunday) for another blood test to use both HCG hormone levels for comparison. They also said that at least I was not in any pain and to rest and take things easy.
The following Monday, I woke up and I was gushing blood and in severe agony in my right side. I phoned the EPC and they said to get an ambulance to hospital. It was a hellish day and one where I do not believe at all in God anymore. When at hospital I several scans and the results from my blood tests were back, showing a rise of 56.7%, I was then taken to ultrasound to have scans done. I was told that I was having an ectopic pregnancy and that the baby was stuck in my right tube, and due to the amount of pain I was in, they had to operate straight away other wise my tube would burst and I could die. I was completely and utterly devastated, and was in shock. A week earlier, I had found out I was expecting then a week later it was taken away from me. The operation took my baby and my right fallopian tube, and was told that I had been 6 weeks pregnant. I was in hospital for 5 days. I still am very emotional and upset. The registrar also said that having any children in the future is going to be very hard as the chance of having another ectopic is extremely high, even though they have taken my right tube it can happen in the left.
What makes it harder is the fact that my partner is still in Australia, and has only been in contact by phone.
I have my moments where I just break down and cry, as I wanted that baby. My partner sees it, as at least I am still alive.
I try to block it all out my mind but sometimes I just break down and cry. Please help or give me advise.. I am devastated!
