Ectopic pregnancy

kski

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Hi,

I found that today I was brave enough to come onto this website and found myself wanting to share mine. Sorry if it is going to be long, I just need to find people that have been through this to listen and understand what I am going through and to give advice and support. I find myself thinking am I the one that can’t carry on with life and is there something wrong with me? I find myself crying and bursting into tears for no reason, and if I am in town I get jealous of ‘new’ mums and their babies. This for me is unheard of as I don’t get jealous!

Anyway, here is my story:

I found out that I was pregnant in the middle of September; I was ecstatic and really happy, even though my partner was still in Australia. I had just come back to sell the house and tidy up a few things before going back. However, there were problems and I started to bleed, it was a dark reddish brown color but not had any pain. I rang my Dr about this and he told me not to do anything for 2 weeks, as it could be signs of implantation bleeding or a miscarriage, and to come back after the 2 weeks.
As you can imagine I was devastated by this as I thought something was wrong. I did not take this as word, but I went to an early pregnancy clinic (EPC)on the Friday instead at the local hospital. They performed several scans on me, both ultrasound and internal and they could not find the baby but only a large cyst on my left ovary which they said was internally hemorrhaging and thus causing the blood, but nothing to worry about and to take things easy. In regards to the baby, they said it was too early to tell, and to come back a week later for the scan and hopefully by then I should see my baby on the scan, everything was going well. They also took a blood test to measure for HCG hormones and to go back in 48 hours (on the Sunday) for another blood test to use both HCG hormone levels for comparison. They also said that at least I was not in any pain and to rest and take things easy.

The following Monday, I woke up and I was gushing blood and in severe agony in my right side. I phoned the EPC and they said to get an ambulance to hospital. It was a hellish day and one where I do not believe at all in God anymore. When at hospital I several scans and the results from my blood tests were back, showing a rise of 56.7%, I was then taken to ultrasound to have scans done. I was told that I was having an ectopic pregnancy and that the baby was stuck in my right tube, and due to the amount of pain I was in, they had to operate straight away other wise my tube would burst and I could die. I was completely and utterly devastated, and was in shock. A week earlier, I had found out I was expecting then a week later it was taken away from me. The operation took my baby and my right fallopian tube, and was told that I had been 6 weeks pregnant. I was in hospital for 5 days. I still am very emotional and upset. The registrar also said that having any children in the future is going to be very hard as the chance of having another ectopic is extremely high, even though they have taken my right tube it can happen in the left.

What makes it harder is the fact that my partner is still in Australia, and has only been in contact by phone.

I have my moments where I just break down and cry, as I wanted that baby. My partner sees it, as at least I am still alive.

I try to block it all out my mind but sometimes I just break down and cry. Please help or give me advise.. I am devastated!
 
welcome to the forum, you are in the right place all the girls here are very supportive.

I am so sorry for your loss, I can't offer any words that will make your pain go away but I wanted you to know that we are all here any time you need to talk. :hug:
 
I know this must be hard, but I cannot begin to grasp the feeling of losing a baby. Women are made to feel maternal. Your OH is right about you being alive, but it must be heartbreaking thinking that you might never have children. All I can do is offer my prayers. Hope you feel better.

Try to get out of the house every day. I don't know if you do, but get as much support as you can, especially as your OH is out of the country. Even if you feel you don't want company it will do you good to be around people. I was on my own early in the year, and kept bursting into tears. Even though I thought at the time I couldn't do anything, a change of scene really made a difference and gave me new perspective. Being in the same place all the time made it worse.
 
I'm sorry to hear of your loss :hug:

I had a friend that also had an Ectopic pregnancy, she was devastated by it and people just didn't know how to talk to her.

Just wanted to say that she went on to have two children, give yourself some time.
 
I know a little about how you are feeling as i went through a similar situation in may this year. I'm really sorry to hear that your partner is away at the moment as i know what a support mine was however this is a great site and all the girls are really friendly.

It will take time and you will go through a whole heap of emotions over the coming months. My only advise is to take it easy and just go with whatever you are feeling at the time (easier said than done i know). What i mean is i was very angry at times (still are some days) but i just tried to accept these emotions as part of my healing.

It will get better but it may take a long time.

We will all be here for you. Feel free to send me a message if you have any questions or want to chat. As for your chances of having a succesful pregnancy it can happen and another site that i found useful was the ectopic pregnancy trust website as the forum there has many people who are pregnant. (hope i won't get into trouble for mentioning that site its just that initially seeing some of the success stories helped me).

Welcome to our site here and i'm sending you loads of hugs.

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

(hope all of the above makes sense).
 
im so sorry hun, it must be really difficult for you especially with your partner away. Just give yourself time it will be hard but i promise you it will get easier i realise how this may sound but it will i promise. Look after yourself and everyone on here is so lovely there is always someone around anytime.

PM me anytime if you ever want a chat, or just come on here and make a post and someone will be around.

In the meantime im sending you loads of :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

Thinking of you, take care x x
 
welcome to the forum im so sorry its under such sad circumstances :hug: xxxxxxxxxxx
 
Hi

I am very very sorry :hug: this muct ber very hard for you .
At least they didnt say there is no chance miracles do happen so dont give your hopes up just yet
Katrina
 
I'm so sorry hun and truly understand how you are feeling as I had an ectopic 4 years ago. It was heartbreaking and it takes time to go through the grieving process. However while your chances of ectopic are indeed increased you still have an 85% chance of a concieving a perfectly healthy baby within 18 months of the ectopic.
I hope its ok for me to post another website on here but I found a lot of comfort and support through the Ectopic Pregnancy Trust. Here's the addy hun. Huge hugs and please dont lose hope :hug:

http://www.ectopic.org.uk/phpbb/index.p ... 97426bc1db
 

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