Co-sleeping

Discussion in 'Ask a Mum!' started by muppetmummy, Dec 19, 2007.

  1. muppetmummy

    muppetmummy Well-Known Member

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    What are you thoughts on co-sleeping? Has anyone done this? Is it really putting baby at a higher risk of cot death?

    I'm hoping to breastfeed the baby and I know from when I tried to breastfeed James how tired I felt sitting up in a chair feeding him, trying to stay awake.
    He only ever slept in my bed once in the early days and that was when I was so tired that I decided to breast feed him lying down and fell asleep by mistake.

    It would certainly be a lot more pratical on the breastfeeding side of things if the baby could sleep in my bed but I wouldn't do it if it were dangerous for baby.
    OH has said he's planning on sleeping on the sofa bed downstairs for the first few weeks as he'll have to be up for work at 6am and doesn't want his sleep disrupted too much, so I'll have the double bed to myself.
     
  2. fothers

    fothers Well-Known Member

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    I think the MW/HV does have some leaflets on it if you ask next time you go
     
  3. erin

    erin Well-Known Member

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    Maya sleeps in her crib from 9-12, then I feed her and put her back in her crib next to me from 12 - 4 (she usually wakes up at 4am for a feed). It's then that I put her in bed with us, breastfeed her and then we both fall asleep (although I put the alarm on to wake up and change breast). After I put her on the other breast she feeds a bit more - (sleepfeeding lol) and then sleeps with us until we wake up.

    When Maya wakes up at 4am for her feed, OH is deeply asleep, so I don't put her in the middle, I put her on my side as I'm generally more alert than he is.

    I love sleeping with her, though I have to admit I wake up every so often checking on her, but she is so peaceful and loves it too. I will stop putting her in our bed as soon as she starts sleeping through.

    I don't know, it works for me and it's a great bonding experience. But I sleep very lightly, so I think I would wake up if she were making noises, if something was wrong - I even wake up when she breathes very deeply sometimes.

    If you feel like doing it and if you feel confident enough - but not too confident to be careless - I'd say leave your baby enough space but not too much so that you don't roll over her/him or sleep on your side hugging her/him lightly (as if you were still breastfeeding).

    It's good bonding and makes them feel very secure - and it's important for them to feel close to you in their early days. :hug:
     
  4. leckershell

    leckershell Well-Known Member

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    We do it every so often, and most mornings after his morning feed because it's just easier to get him to sleep that way and it feels nice. The one time I did it all night was the best night's sleep I got as I didn't have to keep getting up and down to fetch him from his cot.
     
  5. elaine22

    elaine22 Well-Known Member

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    Cara starts off the night in her cot but most days I bring her in next to me when she's had her early morning feed. Our cot is right up against the mattress with the side off so there is no danger of her rolling out and I'm quite a light sleeper too. I find it's easier to get her off to sleep next to me when she's struggling to settle down.
    I think as long as you stick to the guidelines then it's fine. :D
     
  6. Hypnorm

    Hypnorm Well-Known Member

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  7. paradysso

    paradysso Well-Known Member

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    we co slept with alana, as long as your sensible and not drunk etc its fine. IMO i always found i slept lighter when she was in our bed, and woke every time she moved but by morning i always felt like i had a good sleep.

    we plan on co sleeping with this next baby too, we shall put a childs bed side on bed and keep her on the outside next to me so feeding is easier.
     
  8. maybebaby

    maybebaby Well-Known Member

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    Austin still comes in with us quite regularly. I never have him in my bed if I'm over tired or have had even 1 drink.
     
  9. muppetmummy

    muppetmummy Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for all the replies :D I'll mention it to the midwife when I see her next and see what advice she gives.
    I can't imagine anyone could sleep that deeply with a newborn beside them unless they were drinking before hand.
     
  10. clairescunny55

    clairescunny55 Well-Known Member

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    ryan sleeps in his moses basket or crib until about 6 then he sleeps with me but only when hubby is 6-2 so ryan has more room. I never do it if im really tired though
     
  11. mrs_tommo22

    mrs_tommo22 Well-Known Member

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    I hate to admit it I wouldnt be able to do it as I sleep too deeply, tommo has to nudge me now to get me up too feed her.
     
  12. Lou

    Lou Well-Known Member

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    Isaac has never slept in our bed and I would never let him either. I think its really really dangerous, especially newborns and little babies who can't move themselves or can't push covers off of their faces. We never even slept on the sofa with Isaac unless one of us was awake and nearby.

    We also never had Isaac in the same room as us. I slept in his room on his floor then I moved back into our bedroom and Isaac was very settled and he has slept through since he was 6 weeks old. He wakes occasionally now but I go in and get him back off to sleep. Its the easy way out I think to put them in your bed, which I understand if you have to get up for work and need your sleep, but it can cause long term problems with them not wanting to sleep in their own bed. If they have never slept in your bed they know no different I think.

    Also for those who smoke and sleep with their babies after you have had a cigarette you carry on breathing out toxic fumes for quite a while after which your baby can breathe in. We wouldn't even let some of my family members who smoke hold Isaac if they had smoked within the last hour.

    :D
     
  13. mayday

    mayday Well-Known Member

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    I co-sleep with my baby. I started doing it by accident when I used to bring her into bed on a night to feed her and fell asleep. I was horrified I had fallen asleep to start with, but soon realised it was OK so long as I followed the rules. She's four and a half months old now and thinks she owns our bed :lol: . I feed her lying on my side, and periodically change sides. She is old enough to help herself now without waking me! She does tend to sprawl a bit though and we only have a standard sized double, so OH and I quite often find ourselves scrunched into a tiny corner of the bed when we wake up with her with her arms spread wide taking up the main bit of the bed. I am always very careful not to let her get anywhere near the pillows, which could fall on her and smother her, and I don't let the duvet cover her either. She does often end up with the duvet over her feet but she tends to kick covers off anyway if they cover anything more than her feet. I don't worry too much about her rolling out of bed - she doesn't tend to roll around when she sleeps, and if she is in the middle OH and I sleep on our sides facing her so we don't roll onto her.

    It's lovely to snuggle up with her, but I wish she wouldn't sing or laugh hysterically in the middle of the night - cute as it is!
     
  14. paradysso

    paradysso Well-Known Member

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    i just have to add that alana now sleeps in her own bed and we had no problems, she was quite excited having her own big bed.

    if shes ever having a bad night, maybe dreaming i dunno, but she sneaks into our bed, but i think all kids do that.
     
  15. trixipaws

    trixipaws Well-Known Member

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    millie was over 17 weeks when we first co-slept. i was petrified of it when she was tiny (coz of SIDS risk and that) but as she got bigger we wanted to, also she had stopped sleepin thru and i was very tired, and as i'd become good at breastfeeding i started doing it while im asleep.
    we do it loads now but millie's a big strong baby and doesnt seem so fragile so im not scared. i sleep halfway down the bed tho so when i pull covers over my shoulders and half my face they dont smother her. i sleep with my head level with her legs.

    *edit* forgot to say usually millie starts off in her cot- but the first time she wakes for milk i ALWAYS fall asleep now! (i never used to in summer when she was tiny) so she always ends up in bed with us. but only occasionally do we actually bring her in with us as we go to bed ourselves.
     
  16. maybebaby

    maybebaby Well-Known Member

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    We only have a standard double too and quite often wake up with Austin lying sideways between us! I've never been worried about having him in with us, I feel more scared when he's in his own room, I often have to check on him in his cot to make sure he's still breathing!
     
  17. Urchin

    Urchin Well-Known Member

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    I co-slept with both of mine, generally not for the whole night but after the 4 am feed. I loved it and it works so well with breastfeeding, you can both just nod off before the feed is over.
    I've never put them between up, OH sleeps very deeply and I would worry about the duvet, but over on my side i worked great and it's such a cosy feeling to snuggle up with your baby. I never had a problem getting either of them into their own room / bed either.

    Many people believe they're is actually less chance of cot death if co-sleeping is done sensible and you follow the guidelines. They say baby being close to you can help to regulate their breathing etc.
     
  18. Redshoes

    Redshoes Well-Known Member

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    LOVE co-sleeping :D It makes sense, baby wants to be near, its easy to BF, no getting up, putting on lights etc and breast available whenever baby needs. It's proven that Mummy will heat up or cool down in respone to LO, keeping them at a temp they like. Mummy's breathing helps to keep LO's breathing regular and safe. If you co-sleep OH won't be disturbed, LO won't cry because they have Mummy and Boobie, they don't need nothing else :D

    Isaac's slept at either side of me, in between us, on the duvet, under the duvet, on my arm, not on my arm, with a dummy, without a dummy, you find your own little style and what works and go with it. Isaac always loved bedtime with Mummy, and generally never moved from being tucked into my boobies and tummy, now he likes more space :D but only comes into bed with us at about 5-6am for a BF, he sleeps in his cot now he's a big boy :lol: And I spend half the night checking on him, and still use the motion sensor as I worry about him in the cot, never do when he's in the bed.

    As for the 'dangers', I'm sorry but I disagree, LO's don't find themselves hurt or otherwise whilst in bed with Mummy, its never on the news because it doesn't happen, its natural and its safe, as long as you don't obviously bring drugs or drink into the situation :shock: On the other hand, choosing not to co-sleep is perfectly fine, its a personal choice and sometimes necessary lifestyle wise, but personally I believe co-sleeping is the best, sorry for non-co-sleepers :hug:
     
  19. mayday

    mayday Well-Known Member

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    This is exactly what happens with us. I have only brought her into bed with us at the start of the night when we have slept away from home - saves on the cost of a travel cot!

    Ironically, when I was talking about it with my health visitor she was slightly concerned that when my baby was very tiny I felt safest sleeping on my back with her on my chest - I felt she was safe there - OH wasn't going to accidently roll on her. The HV was worried she may overheat on my chest, even with no covers on, and to be honest she did often get a bit sweaty. I know when babies are very small regular skin to skin contact is exactly what they need, but there must be a point in every human being's life when they don't need their mother's heat, and I don't know when that is. I am still unsure about it. But I don't need to worry about baby getting too hot on my chest now - she doesn't like to snuggle at the moment - she likes to sprawl!
     
  20. Redshoes

    Redshoes Well-Known Member

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    From the story above its noted, "The coroner said being beside his parents played no part in George's death.."
     

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