Co-sleeping

[Squiglet]

Locally two babies have died from cot death whilst co-sleeping with thier parents. It may be unrelated but i think people should be aware.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/glou ... 140470.stm

From the story above its noted, "The coroner said being beside his parents played no part in George's death.."

agreed...

Although, I co slept with Tia... I couldn't trust my ex not to roll over on to her, so she slept on the outside edge of the bed... with a pillow tucked under the bottom sheet to stop her rolling off... She also had a grow bag thingy... and I never put the duvet over her.. (besides I don't actually like the duvet covering me totally... I always have to have my legs out.

If I woke in the night I would move her back to the cot... mainly because her being there would mean I didn't sleep well because of my fear of her rolling out of bed or me rolling on to her... so I just sorta dozed. You can't sleep properly in a bed with a newborn... it's too scary.

This time round we will have the bed next to our bed with the side off (space issues more than anything else).. So that I can breast feed and put her back pretty easily.

 

[Lou]

I bottle fed Isaac and more than once I felt myself nodding off while I sat and fed him but I always managed to stay awake because I just had too. I knew the dangers of falling asleep with baby and that was always in the back of my mind, well to be truthful it was at the front of my mind most of the time I think if I had put Isaac in bed with us to feed I would have definately fallen asleep. It would have been really lovely to cuddle up with Isaac and have him in bed with us but I think the risk of smothering him, him rolling off the bed, overheating etc out weighed the need for that closeness that we easily made up for during the day time where he was safe and we were awake and alert. This is just how me and OH felt, its not the right or wrong way just our way And I appreciate that laying in bed breastfeeding your baby is natural and lovely but I think if I had breastfed I would have still gotten up and fed Isaac in a chair so I would stay awake. I just think better safe than sorry

 

[Squiglet]

I bottle fed Isaac and more than once I felt myself nodding off while I sat and fed him but I always managed to stay awake because I just had too. I knew the dangers of falling asleep with baby and that was always in the back of my mind, well to be truthful it was at the front of my mind most of the time I think if I had put Isaac in bed with us to feed I would have definately fallen asleep. It would have been really lovely to cuddle up with Isaac and have him in bed with us but I think the risk of smothering him, him rolling off the bed, overheating etc out weighed the need for that closeness that we easily made up for during the day time where he was safe and we were awake and alert. This is just how me and OH felt, its not the right or wrong way just our way And I appreciate that laying in bed breastfeeding your baby is natural and lovely but I think if I had breastfed I would have still gotten up and fed Isaac in a chair so I would stay awake. I just think better safe than sorry

Problem is sufficient studies haven't been done in order to conclude that co sleeping is in deed more dangerous than putting them into a cot, as long as certain rules are followed. Technically, more babies die each year from being put to sleep in a cot than co sleeping, but then on a whole less people co sleep so that causes an inaccuracy in the numbers.

And while the deaths of infants who co sleep make it to the media.... general cot deaths where the baby is found unresponsive in the morning in the cot, very rarely make it... again as the previous bbc article said... there didn't appear to be any reason why the baby died... it just did..

Also medical professionals don't seem to be able to confirm that co sleeping is dangerous... It seems to have the same uncertainness as peanuts and peanut allergies..

Also it appears that the factor of bottle feeding an infant and breastfeeding also change the figures. In general breast fed babies showed lower incidences of SIDS full stop... regardless of co sleeping. However, if you co sleep and bottle feed, your risk increases, where as if you breast feed and co sleep, the risk decreases..

http://www.bfmed.org/ace-files/protocol/cosleeping.pdf

This website appears to be very neutral on the subject of co sleeping... but does say that it appears to aid breastfeeding which in turn lowers the risk of SIDs.

Also, while some medical professionals say co sleeping is dangerous, they make no determinations as to why or that while there are "excuses" for co sleeping infants and SIDs there is none for SIDs in general.

Tbh, it is important to research the whole subject before hand, and make an informed decision, based on your life, choice of feeding methods, and current home environment before you choose. I think it's a very individual decision.

 

[Lou]

I based my decision on what I thought was common sense in my mind. I had seen the leaflets about SIDS but it just seemed safer to not have Isaac in our bed for the reasons I put in my last post ie - smothering him, overheating, rolling out of bed. These don't pose a risk if he is alone in his own bed. When he was in his cot we also never put toys above his head and never put covers near his face, not because leaflets told us not too but because to us they seemed like obvious dangers. We all think diferently though don't we otherwise they would never have to print leaflets to warn some people of dangers which are blatantly obvious to others.

 

[Squiglet]

We all think diferently though don't we otherwise they would never have to print leaflets to warn some people of dangers which are blatantly obvious to others.

Yes... like... the warning on my hair dryer.. do not use in the Shower.. or on Frozen food... defrost before eating...

 

[Lou]

ok so heres a serious example...does it not seem obvious to you not to let your child have anything they can put round their neck that could potentially choke them? Well yesterday one of the mums at playgroup had a dummy round her childs neck on what looked like a belt! Like the straps you buy to wear a mobile phone around your neck Not only was he in danger of strangulation but everytime he bent down or fell over his dummy, which was hanging from the strap, dragged all over the floor

I wouldn't dream of putting something like that round Isaac's neck

 

[lisa&alex]

i have to say.. charlotte is 5.. and she co-slept untill she was 1.. i had a row off a new health visitor that its not good 'routine' for her blah deee blah..

i think 2-3 years ago.. it was thought more to be dangerous.. if i relate to my own experience with a health visitor.. so i can see lou's point.. and lou's point is always pretty controversial and opinionated..

just thought i would put my ideas forward. charlotte had her own bed when she was 1, and she cried for about 3 mins every night then layed down and watched her night light on the side of her cot and fell asleep.. she has never ever had problems sleeping.. and she has come into my room early in the morning in the begining.. when she moved into a bed.. but i think thats pretty normal, for any child.

i dont have any issues worrying if i would roll on baby.. overheat it etc etc etc...you have to be aware of the risks..and follow guidelines.. baby has own blanket (grobag) etc.. we have also done this

so the baby is always in its own cot.. so the transition from bed to cot is easier..

my actual only concern with co-sleeping is that charlotte doesnt feel left out.. new baby.. sleeps in our bed.. she doesnt etc etc...

p.s squig y aint u on msn.. and the radiator isnt on in our room.. as its always boiling in there..

 

[Lou]

i have to say.. charlotte is 5.. and she co-slept untill she was 1.. i had a row off a new health visitor that its not good 'routine' for her blah deee blah..

i think 2-3 years ago.. it was thought more to be dangerous.. if i relate to my own experience with a health visitor.. so i can see lou's point.. and lou's point is always pretty controversial and opinionated..

I beg your pardon? Just because my opinion or 'point' isn't the same as most people it doesn't mean it is controversial or opinionated! I always try and see things from every angle and make a point of saying so. I just tend not to have the same opinion as most but this is an open forum so my views should be just as welcome as everyone elses. I did say my way isn't right or wrong. I think you have been really unfair there

 

[lisa&alex]

hush up woman.. didnt say it was right or wrong.. and infact i value your opinion.. you always say shit that is valid.. what i ment by what i said was that we always find you in the controversial topics.. and what u have to say usually disagrees with what others usually say.. now.. come rub my back for me.. i'l make u a cuppa for it?

 

[Lou]

hush up woman.. didnt say it was right or wrong.. and infact i value your opinion.. you always say sh*t that is valid.. what i ment by what i said was that we always find you in the controversial topics.. and what u have to say usually disagrees with what others usually say.. now.. come rub my back for me.. i'l make u a cuppa for it?

I don't just lez off with anyone you know

 

[lisa&alex]

no nothing sexual.. plus.. i think if u saw my biff u would need more than a cuppa to calm you down after that.. a coffin would probably be needed... i just need a back rub.. charlotte made jam tarts yesterday... and i have a carrot in the fridge.. everything else contains meat tho..so if you are staying for dinner.. you can either have chicken feed.. rabbit food.. or bring your own tofu

 

[Lou]

and the topic was?.....

 

[mummykay]

we co slept cos of bfing, wont do it again tho - too disruptive and was a real pain in the bum gettin Jam in his own bed

bottlefeeding and straight in own cot next time

 

[Lou]

we co slept cos of bfing, wont do it again tho - too disruptive and was a real pain in the bum gettin Jam in his own bed

bottlefeeding and straight in own cot next time

oooo how controversial



Thats what we worried about too, the transition from our bed to Isaac's own bed. Didn't seem worth the hassle and upset. I think people whose kids go to their own bed no problem are lucky. My cousin slept with his mum and dad till he was about 7

 

[Krystal]

Yeah I'd be careful, just do it properly and you'll be ok. I mad mistake of lying Jack on my chest for same reasons as someone else, thought it was safer cos couldnt roll etc. He was sweating loads when I woke up And that was just a nap.

Personally I wouldn't do it, I wouldnt be confident I was doing it safely, you can't control what you do with duvet in your sleep (ie pulling it up a bit higher) and I like to have a bit of us time for me and OH, cuddles etc.

 

[Tina & Gabs]

Early morning feed when Gabs was newborn was in my bed and we'd sleep together for a couple of hours; I did this all the while I was breastfeeding and absolutely loved it.

I feel having Gabs in her own bed at night but in with me in the morning gave us the best of both worlds and she is a great sleeper and loves her own space but also loves to come and have a cuddle with Mummy & Daddy

 

[Redshoes]

On a dangers aspect, co-sleeping is something we instinctively and naturally do safely, since before monitors and moses baskets, we slept in caves and had to protect our babies by keeping them close, the danger was leaving them alone...I agree with you lou that no way is right or wrong, but there are dangers to having LO in a cot too, I think its true you should be aware of potential situations but do not feel either bed, cot or both are wrong, weigh up the real dangers you feel personally, we need to keep in touch with our mothering instinct, we use it daily without realising it anyway. Babies and Mummy's who sleep well are what's the best with any family at the end of the day, so just happy sleeping together or apart is a great thing!!

 

[Lou]

On a dangers aspect, co-sleeping is something we instinctively and naturally do safely, since before monitors and moses baskets, we slept in caves and had to protect our babies by keeping them close, the danger was leaving them alone...I agree with you lou that no way is right or wrong, but there are dangers to having LO in a cot too, I think its true you should be aware of potential situations but do not feel either bed, cot or both are wrong, weigh up the real dangers you feel personally, we need to keep in touch with our mothering instinct, we use it daily without realising it anyway. Babies and Mummy's who sleep well are what's the best with any family at the end of the day, so just happy sleeping together or apart is a great thing!!

I'll second that We have been so lucky with Issac, he's always been a great sleeper. I know what you mean about our mothering instinct, I still feel like I never have a deep sleep but I do of course, I'm just tuned into Isaac I think and if he wakes up then I wake up. Infact the first night in hospital after I gave birth I had Isaac on my chest for skin to skin and even though I was so exhausted from 23 hours of labour I still managed to stay awake for hours so I wouldn't nod off and roll him off of me

 

[Marijana FC]

We've been co-sleeping from the day one (even in the hospital). I've read lots about it (book I would reccommend: "Three in a bed" by Deborah Jackson), really liked the idea but waited to meet the little one first. Since Danica was underweight and had very low blood temperature, we were adviced to keep her next to our skin to keep her warm. It also just felt right to sleep with her. At first she slept on me and I had covers only onmy legs (so no duvets around her). Later on, when she bacame too heavy, she started sleeping next to me, sort of between my body and my arm. Now she sleeps in her babygro, on her side of the bed and we are planning to move her to a cot after Christmas.
As a result of this (OK, I am sure that there were other factors involved), she has almost never cried in the night, we had a lot of sleep and given that she vomitted lots I was able to 'sense' or hear that she was about to vomit and lift her up before she started. We have never had any problems with 'night time' routines and she started sleeping 8pm until 4am when she was 2 months old.
I am a grwat supporter of co-sleeping but only if that works for all of you and only if you don't drink, smoke, do drugs...We have now reached a point when we all feel that we need more space in the night so sher'll be moving to her cot but still be right next to our bed and then move to her own room (when she is ready).

 

[Xena]

i can see lou's point because with Lydia I was just the same.

This time round though, I dunno why, I just feel less...paranoid (for lack of a better word - sorry lou i don't mean to im[ly you're paranoid). Alex frequently ends up in bed with us.