Toddler Sleeping Problems...Need Advice!!

[Corrinne37]

Hi Ladies,
Need advice as I have always had really bad problem trying to get my little boy to sleep.
He was the kind of baby that always needed holding and cried when I put him down.
I also committed the cardinal crime of parenting by co sleeping with when he was a baby and
have a had terrible time trying to break this cycle.
Basically when he was born he contracted the Group B Strep Virus from me and was really, really poorly. I actually thought that I was going to lose him, and it still brings tears to my eyes thinking back to that time in the hospital when I gave birth and MW and docs running everywhere and putting him on a machine and then taking him away.
When I finally got him back, I didnt want to let him go or let him out of my sight. It actually hurt deep in my chest, when he cried, does anyone know what I mean?
Anyway, he is now 2yrs 4 months and still he needs me there to fall asleep and wakes several times in the night and needs me there for him to go back to sleep.
I think he is genuinely scared of sleeping on his own, but as you can imagine this is so tiring for me, and OH will not deal with any in the night stuff, so it all had been down to me.
We really want another baby, I have had two MMC in the last year.
One this month, and as I have been so shattered , I have just had him in the bed with me, as I needed to sleep.
I know I need to get his sleeping sorted before really we are ready to have another baby.
We have tried all sleep methods, but he is very , very resilient!
Any advice from anyone that has been through similar sleep problems? xxxx

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

One of my friends went thru a lot of sleeping problems with her son, he was waking something like 20-30 times a night she's eventually got him to sleep well now, but it took time! Basically, she started by laying in his bed with him til he fell asleep (you could lay on the floor if he's in a cot), wait til he's used to that! When he wakes in the night, give him a cuddle, back down to bed ad again lay there Til he's asleep! When he's ok with that, gradually start moving A bit further out the room til you can sit on the stairs and eventually you'll be able to just out him in bed and go downstairs! I'm not gona lie, it took her something like 4-6 months to get it all sorted, but he sleeps like a dream
Now! Was well worth it for her! They'd seen all sorts of people, like sleep psychologists and everything and this was the only thing thT worked!

 

[Corrinne37]

Thanks Me and My Girls,
Yes this is called the gradual retreat method, I have tried them all too and all sort of help from sleep specialists.
We continued this like clockwork for good 2 1/2 months then holiday totally broke the routine, after my recent upset (MC) its gone out the window again!
Purely because I need to sleep! It is sooo draining being up half the night, but yes know I need to just start again and not give up or go back on it to crack it!!
Thank you , any other advice greatly appreciated!!! xxxxxx

 

[spice]

i don't have any advice as my LO is only nearly 6 weeks, but just wanted to say good luck, and i'm sure you'll get there in the end! which i know is no help! x

 

[Corrinne37]

Thanks Spice, just dont make same mistakes as me, make sure your LO can get themself off to sleep. xx

 

[spice]

i'll try not too! i do worry sometimes that i spoil him, but i do try to let him settle himself! xx

 

[Geminiblue]

Blimey hun you are proper hard on yourself. Im am/was like this and my child wasnt sick at birth AND he is the same age as yours. He is/was proper high demand child. I held him when he needed to be held otherwise the crying would not stop and it was like being shot time and time again. The Co sleeping......what is the pressure? Can you sleep with him in your bed? If so, get yourself better, get recovered THEN address his sleeping. Stop pressursing yourself...so many of my friends say oh if you do this and if you do that....blah blah blah Ive stopped listening as they are not perfect parents and neither am I I just try my best. I did the crying down retreat method and from time to time for no reason whatsoever he kicks up again and we start all over again. This is just how much child is for no rhyme nor reason. His aunti (my SIL) was like this as a child, she was the last of 4 and all her siblings were dream kids. Even the first two who were twins. Take a deep breath, start again when you are ready do not address this when you are tired or sick you will make him and yourself worse my darlin xxx (mines proper hard work I am shatterd most of the time, he does sleep okish but my OH gets up to him too) so you are not on your own

 

[Corrinne37]

thanks geminiblue,
i know i am hard on myself,i just think is this why i am having so much trouble having another child as I havent sorted the first one out yet! I know its stupid.
But yes my LO sounds exact same as yours, he is very demanding and has never slept through the night, we have tried everything. But thank you you are right, I need to get myself strong and well before I can handle this properly.
Nice to hear I am not the only one with this problem!!
And you have another on the way - so bang goes my silly thoughts, that its not pos! Thanks hun, xxxxx

 

[Geminiblue]

I feel exactly like you my darlin so please try not to worry, its what people are telling me and i think OMG howam I goingto cope, but my best friend says you just do. She has a high maintenance girl matches my boy and shes coping, her second is 2 months.

Spice - oh hun you cant spoil them at this young age, Id say different if they were 14 yrs old but theyre not

Hugs for both of you, and me coz we're guna need it...oh Corrinne forgot to say that Im a Corinne and am 38 xxx

 

[spice]

Spice - oh hun you cant spoil them at this young age, Id say different if they were 14 yrs old but theyre not

my mum said i spoil him with all the cuddles he gets . . . but she can so not talk about this subject, as she wore both me and my bro in a sling all day everyday!!!