Co-sleeping?

[Mummy2Adam]

I bet my friend regrets not doing that now! I asked her why she let LO sleep with her all the time and she said it just became a habit after a week of her being unwell and because she settled so well it lasted abit longer! x x

 

[Emmamb]

I've got 4 children and all of them have co-slept with us,not all night but if they woke or was hard to settle then I never hesitated to put them in with me and dh,I've got more wary the more children I've had (and older I've got) but Kieron still comes in for a cuddle most mornings-even if it's just for an extra hours sleep,it's kept us sane through illnesses and teething x

 

[tinks77]

I personally don't & wouldn't. I don't want Grace to get into the habit of sleeping with us, at the moment my OH brings her in when he's getting ready for work and puts her on his side so he can have a chinwag with her before he goes, I'm always awake at this point and don't go back to sleep, I also keep her awake too until we go down for breakfast

 

[Constantstar]

I don't co sleep as a rule as I want Owen to be independent and not new me there to go sleep but I do on occasions bring him in bed with us as we co sleep Esp if we have a sleep in the afternoon together. It's nice and I'm very aware he is there and only do it occasionally so maybe 1 or 2 times a week on a weekend but as a rule of thumb he has his own cot in our room and his bedtime is 6.30 and he goes sleep in his cot but will let him in with me if he wakes up in the night and is unsettled which is rare x

 

[hopefulmummy]

I think Habit forming is part of the reason I only did it very occasionally. (that and the fear of suffocating him!) But I kind of want to
Make hubby sleep in spare room
Tonight so when A geta up for his 4 am feed we can sleep in bed together after!!! Haha.

 

[knopk@]

I bed share. I think its more to do with a baby tbh, mine wouldnt sleep by himself from the very beginning - even in the hospital he would cry. He is still with us and no sleep training helped to get him in his own cot so we are waiting for him to grow out of it.
If you follow the rules - I dont think itsmore dangerous,more accidents happen when you fall asleep on a sofa. Babies die of SIDSin their cots too
I have noticed hisbreathing is calmer and deeper when he is with me though

Some babies are fine on their own but some arent.
Latest research shows that if you cuddle your baby,dont leave them to cryetc,they are less likely to be dependent or attention seeking later as they build trust

 

[littlemiss83]

If you think its hard to get a newborn to sleep in its own cot, its 10x worse when they're a toddler. And either way it needs to be done.

 

[knopk@]

Well some babies just dont do it,maybe you just didnt have one like that.

 

[littlemiss83]

oh no my LO was an absolute nightmare, screamed blue murder, didn't settle in her cot properly for ages, after many,many nights of lifting her in & out her cot, eventually she went longer & longer in it & it worked. She has only ever slept in our bed when she's ill & she's very independent, secure & always been able to play with & interact with her peers. Its not that it was easy for me, its that I took the hard work on the chin & it paid off, and ended up with a very happy baby. And it also means that i've been able to have a night out with my O/H when she started staying over with my parents the odd saturday night when she turned 1 & never cried or fussed. I'm glad that I can go out & be me for a few hours w/out worrying that LO wont sleep w/out me.

 

[Lisa_85]

I only let Issac into the bed with me after 7am and thats only because he is still tired but won't settle in his crib again. At that point I'm in a light snooze he won't sleep at the side he needs to lie in my Arms which is y its only from 7 onwards, without having to try i don't move when he is with me and i am normally a wriggly sleeper.
I couldn't do it all night but that's because he needs to be in my arm, he is more than happy through the night in his crib and settles. Back off until morning.
you could always try it the once if your confident in yourself that u will be okay and stick to a rule of only letting her in when OH is out the bed, she may realise and pick up on the fact she is only allowed in when its just the two of you xx

 

[ZMD]

i wish co-sleeping threads didn't always turn into upset, every parent is in there right to do what they want & shouldn't be judged for it.
Tegan was an awfull sleep when she was newborn at after 3am it didn't matter how many times you put her back in her basket she just wouldn't settle so she came in my bed and could feed as she wanted & we would actually get some sleep.
at about 4 months old she started sleeping through so stayed in her cot, the only time she now comes in my bed is if she's poorly/teething she's usually a very good sleeper So yes im sure it can be a hard habit to break but im also sure most babies will eventually settle in there own beds when there ready. xx

 

[littlemiss83]

Maria - I saw your thread about rage, please dont assume that you know more than me. You said you were annoyed at...."people's arrogance about stuff they know little about really" - I think you'll find that you know nothing about how much I know, how dare you assume that you know more than me! Look, I understand your reasons for what you do & I dont wanna argue about it, but tbh I think its very rude of you to assume that you know more than me, or have researched more than me. Oh and if that other thread wasn't about me, then I apologise.

 

[Belfast girl]

I don't Co sleep purely because I tend to gravitate to anything warm at night and my oh prefers the starfish position - poor ickle baby would not stand a chance! but she does come into bed with me in the morning if she wakes before 8 - it's much more civilised that way! It's a habit which I encourage as she is so cute to lie next to and I have very fond memories of me, my brother and sister all doing this when we were younger as well.
Oh and once she goes to sleep I cherish that time I get to spend alone with my husband!

 

[knopk@]

oh no my LO was an absolute nightmare, screamed blue murder, didn't settle in her cot properly for ages, after many,many nights of lifting her in & out her cot, eventually she went longer & longer in it & it worked. She has only ever slept in our bed when she's ill & she's very independent, secure & always been able to play with & interact with her peers. Its not that it was easy for me, its that I took the hard work on the chin & it paid off, and ended up with a very happy baby. And it also means that i've been able to have a night out with my O/H when she started staying over with my parents the odd saturday night when she turned 1 & never cried or fussed. I'm glad that I can go out & be me for a few hours w/out worrying that LO wont sleep w/out me.

Good on you, my LO doesnt settle in a cot at all. No matter what I try.

They are all different and each parent makes a decision and its their responsibility. If you bed share, then no smoking, no drinking and no drugs etc. Some people do it through choice, some not but its their decision.

I am sure we can all google and read ever changing advice but we as parents have to make decisions and I believe mother knows their child best.

 

[Jayceesmumma]

I really don't agree with co sleeping that's my personal opinion.. I think it's more for the mothers sake and not for the baby.. Hearing the way it's spoken about on this thread and others that's how it comes across.. A couple of hours in the morning isn't so bad but all night is awful in my opinion.. I understand how hard it can be to settle a baby, like little miss Jaycee struggled to get to sleep because I made the mistake of rocking her to sleep every night coz I loved her sleeping in my arms.. But at the age of two she was still needing me to stay with her and hold her hand etc for her to sleep.. It was so draining but I never let her sleep with me.. Only three times in her life she's slept with me and she was very ill..
I know this won't settle well with most of you but I'm intitled to my opinion too.. I think it's wrong and dangerous. Avoid it if you can.

 

[l_maclean]

Have to say I'm really not keen on the idea. From what I've read - and it's quite a bit due to family history - it is a definite increase for SIDS. I can see how you would be tempted for that extra few hours, but I think at a few weeks, it's just too much of a risk.

I know there are a lot of people who do it, and feel it's works fine for them, but IMO the risk is too high for an extra couple of hours in bed.

 

[littlemiss83]

I agree jaycessmumma - im not saying this about people in this thread but i've always seen it as an easier option - not the wrong one necessarily but an easy one, most ppl only start because baby wont settle in cot & they give up.

Its funny coz I breastfed eldest LO & co-slept until my MW advised me not to, that was only for about a week maybe 2. I didn't realise it was advised against. When I started the cot, she was not a happy bunny & thats when the trouble started,before then she'd slept perfectly. it was such very hard work to keep her in the cot was very tempting just to lift her in we got there after a long struggle & many many sleepless nights (seemed to last for months). but with Kayden he was put in his cot on day 1 & has never struggled sleeping in it, fair enough he has bad nights & he has never had probs from day 1.

There's no doubt that babies need lots of cuddles, but they dont need to be attached to mum 24/7, and there is no evidence to prove that is beneficial. Having baby in a cot for 7/8 hours out of 24 isn't much.

 

[littlemiss83]

oh no my LO was an absolute nightmare, screamed blue murder, didn't settle in her cot properly for ages, after many,many nights of lifting her in & out her cot, eventually she went longer & longer in it & it worked. She has only ever slept in our bed when she's ill & she's very independent, secure & always been able to play with & interact with her peers. Its not that it was easy for me, its that I took the hard work on the chin & it paid off, and ended up with a very happy baby. And it also means that i've been able to have a night out with my O/H when she started staying over with my parents the odd saturday night when she turned 1 & never cried or fussed. I'm glad that I can go out & be me for a few hours w/out worrying that LO wont sleep w/out me.

Good on you, my LO doesnt settle in a cot at all. No matter what I try.

They are all different and each parent makes a decision and its their responsibility. If you bed share, then no smoking, no drinking and no drugs etc. Some people do it through choice, some not but its their decision.

I am sure we can all google and read ever changing advice but we as parents have to make decisions and I believe mother knows their child best.

I really do now how you feel, my LO wouldn't settle at all (she was used to co-sleeping) it was very difficult but at the time the MW had scared me & I was terrified of even sitting in bed with her incase I fell asleep, so I persevered (maybe it was a blessing in disguise the MW saying that) A good tip is to place your hand over LO's head/face for a cpl mins before you move him (if he's in your arms sleeping) & as you move him over, keep your hands on him til he's been lying a few seconds. A hot water bottle on the cot also works wonders. If LO is falling asleep ok in cot & wakening up all the time, try the re-settling techniques to get him back off to sleep, keep trying with this, at the start LO took 1hr to resettle, for the whole night, then the next day it would be 45mins to re-settle him (stroking his face, gently rocking while in cot) then gradually over the days it got less & less time to resettle until he was not wakening up at all(trust me this technique does work, it takes a few days though)

 

[TundraOwl]

This thread is really interesting, even if a little heated at times! We have co-slept ish from day one, it started in the hospital as I was really wobbly after labour (low blood pressure) and so the midwife was having to settle madam, she wouldnt settle at all though so in the end they put the cot side on the bed and put her in with me, so I assumed that it was fine to do this. LO suffers badly with colic so she sleeps best on my chest if I'm kinda half sat up in bed. She has slept like this regularly, or in my arms since day one. A week ago though we started putting her in her moses basket once she was asleep and to be fair to her shes been quite good, sleeping for a good few hours on her own. Its nice to get the bed back to ourselves however the last couple of nights shes been back in the bed as shes got a cold and feeling poorly so wont settle at all. Our heating has also broken and its freezing in our house got a wee heater in the bedroom but i'm worried about her getting cold so have her on my chest in her sleeping bag on and a cardigan on too, seems to be keeping her warm. She was getting cold hands in her moses basket but seems better in the bed with us. I agree that co-sleeping can work but i also see the benefits of not co-sleeping, please no one have a go at me for this post, i think every baby is different and different things work for different people. x

 

[Cantstop]

I said when I was pregnant there was no way we'd co-sleep, I was really sure. But then I had my baby and it is what ended up happening. We co-slept until she was 3 months then started doing the first part of the night in her cot then coming into bed after she woke up, which it seems like loads of others have. Then
at 7 months she started going pretty much the whole night in her cot. It's been a very positive experience for us - all of the things I worried about have totally not been the case; it's amazed me how aware you are of them even while you sleep. And morning smiles and cuddles and easy comforting through the night have been magical - they grow up and change so fast I've really enjoyed that part.

Horses for courses though - some people it's not for, some it is. I also don't really trust the NHS and it's mental you can get totally different advice from people who should be saying the same thing. For us, at least, it felt natural and I think it's possibly best sometimes to go with what you think is best rather than what you read, especially since guidelines change all the time.