Co-sleeping?

[Jayceesmumma]

We've been kinda co-sleeping uptil now, however last night i decided to try and get Mhairi in to her bed more often through the night, and bless her shes a star i pulled the moses basket right up to the bed and still breast fed her lying down in bed with me, put when she went back to sleep i just moved her over in to her basket and kept my hand on her for a while, and she settled! proud mummy moment managed quite good night, she had 3 feeds so i'm really pleased

Well done babe I'm so happy for u!!
I feed Lilyanna her night feed in my bed then put her in her crib swaddled next to me and she goes 12 hrs

I was really pleased, will be putting her straight in to her basket tonight after her 10pm ish feed and then leaving the baby monitor on and leaving her there, she usually falls asleep at the end of a feed but is sometimes just sleepy. Do you think i should try to put her in her basket anyway and see if she self settles or is it too much all at once, shes used to falling asleep on me or in my arms, not sure what to do.

The fact she sleeps so well after her last feed in her basket is very good and if she's awake at the end of her feed I'd suggest seeing if she will self settle.. Stay calm (panicking about her not settling will unsettle her) and leave her be as if she was already asleep.. If she stirrs, pop her dummy in if she has one, or stroke her cheek and shhhh her then leave again.. Do this as often as it takes and she should go to sleep.. If she starts getting upset hold her maybe try breast again.. Then try the process again.. Try not to start rocking her or she will expect it every night and will undo all your hard work! Don't pressure yourself to get her to self settle right away she will in the end Lilyanna used to fall asleep on the breast then I'd wrap her up and put her to bed asleep.. The past three nights she's been awake and at first I debated breast again after winding her, but thought it would be best to try her out self settling in her crib (she self settles all day in her chair) and within 10mins she's asleep after popping her dummy back in a couple of times and a quick cheek stroke to let her know I'm still there
Let me know how u get on I'm sure all will be fine! Good luck!xxx

 

[positivity :)]

Girls rach opened the thread coz she wanted some help and didn't expect it to go like this. We are all friends here so I'd suggest we give it a rest. Knopk apologised for offending anyone so it should be left there, interpreting each others posts in this way is no good for anyone! And btw I have no problem with what anyone said, just think its getting out of hand xx

 

[Rachaellius]

Girls rach opened the thread coz she wanted some help and didn't expect it to go like this. We are all friends here so I'd suggest we give it a rest. Knopk apologised for offending anyone so it should be left there, interpreting each others posts in this way is no good for anyone! And btw I have no problem with what anyone said, just think its getting out of hand xx

Thanks pos
I agree! I'm really not taking sides here as I value everyones opinion on the subject as its what I asked for. But I do think that if someone apologizes for offending someone then I think that apology should be accepted and left there

 

[catty1]

Hmm, interesting thread. I dont usually get involved in these discussions but this one piqued my interest.
We coslept until Owen was around 7 months. Despite settling really well in his cot at the beginning of the night he would wake every 40 mins to an hour throughout the night and not resettle. My OH mentioned cosleeping and initially I was dead against it but on doing some reaserch and thinking I was swayed. My OH pointed out that he was a baby mammal and all other baby mammals sleep snuggled up to thier mummys. It's only human babies that are expected to sleep all by themselves albeit in the same room. That really made me think and I agreed to give it a try and we never looked back.
Once Owen hit 6-7 months he started being very wiggly and not settling very well in our bed so we moved him back to his cot where he now sleeps - through the night. There was no difficult transition period, we just followed his cue and he dicided it was time to sleep alone. Co-sleeping turned our monster sleeper into a sleeps through the night baby with no need for sleep training.

I just have a few points to make on the issue of cosleeping that have been bought up in this thread.

1. Safe Co-sleeping does not increase the risk of SIDS. There are many instances of babies dying while sleeping with thier parents but 99% of the time this is when parents have fallen asleep with LO on the sofa and baby has slipped down or parents have been drunk etc.. Safe co-sleeping has no extra risk. In fact in countries where co-sleeping is the norm i.e. Japan, most African counties, SIDS is so rare there is not even a word for it.

2. Most people who co-sleep have researched how to do this safely and do not cover their baby with a duvet. Lightweight blankets are recommended and therefore pose no more risk than a babys cot blanket.

I hope this clears up some things for some people and also gives the point of view that cosleeping does not always lead to a clingy baby who cannot sleep by themselves

 

[littlemiss83]

Hmm, interesting thread. I dont usually get involved in these discussions but this one piqued my interest.
We coslept until Owen was around 7 months. Despite settling really well in his cot at the beginning of the night he would wake every 40 mins to an hour throughout the night and not resettle. My OH mentioned cosleeping and initially I was dead against it but on doing some reaserch and thinking I was swayed. My OH pointed out that he was a baby mammal and all other baby mammals sleep snuggled up to thier mummys. It's only human babies that are expected to sleep all by themselves albeit in the same room. That really made me think and I agreed to give it a try and we never looked back.
Once Owen hit 6-7 months he started being very wiggly and not settling very well in our bed so we moved him back to his cot where he now sleeps - through the night. There was no difficult transition period, we just followed his cue and he dicided it was time to sleep alone. Co-sleeping turned our monster sleeper into a sleeps through the night baby with no need for sleep training.

I just have a few points to make on the issue of cosleeping that have been bought up in this thread.

1. Safe Co-sleeping does not increase the risk of SIDS. There are many instances of babies dying while sleeping with thier parents but 99% of the time this is when parents have fallen asleep with LO on the sofa and baby has slipped down or parents have been drunk etc.. Safe co-sleeping has no extra risk. In fact in countries where co-sleeping is the norm i.e. Japan, most African counties, SIDS is so rare there is not even a word for it.

2. Most people who co-sleep have researched how to do this safely and do not cover their baby with a duvet. Lightweight blankets are recommended and therefore pose no more risk than a babys cot blanket.

I hope this clears up some things for some people and also gives the point of view that cosleeping does not always lead to a clingy baby who cannot sleep by themselves

This is why threads dont just get left alone & why arguments keep going....

It doesn't clear things up for me tbh. I still go by what the nhs say & i'm more inclined to believe them over other info, the nhs info doesn't say that co sleeping is safer if done properly it says if you sleep with baby in your bed its an increased risk. Babies cot mattresses are designed for baby to sleep in, I know they maybe do it in other countries but remember there is a higher death rate & not as much money goes into studies. SIDS might be a word that isn't used but I can guarantee you babies still die un-expectidely, it might not always be recorded that baby died in bed for example. I trusted the NHS through my pregnancy & I continue to do so now. If I didn't trust them I certainly wouldn't have given birth under their care & entrusted my babies life with them, there supposed to be top in the world with their research, fair enough they change their minds alot about weaning & bottle feeding but with co-sleeping it seems to have remained consistent & they are involved with (federation for sids who advise on risks)

If you did it exactly correct then you'd need to sleep on a brand new mattress , remember mattressses hold bacteria ect which can be breathed in even if baby not facing down. You & OH wouldn't be smokers or on drugs, or heavy sleepers, you'd need to make sure you were never extremely tired or on sleeping tabs or move about alot & see to be honest, and on top of that be willing to not use pillows & quilts...the chance of all those things being done together is very low, hense why its never done "properly"





You've been lucky with your transition into a cot.

 

[catty1]

Ive just reread my post and realised I have forgotten to differentiate between SIDS and suffocation. SIDS is very rare and no-one really knows why it occurs. it is nothing to do with being suffocated by duvets or parents and there is no proven risk or benefit associated with SIDS and cosleeping (unless the parents smoke). There are some studies that have shown that the risk of SIDS is actually lower in breastfed co-sleeping infants although the study I read was unable to assertain whether it was the cosleeping or the breastfeeding which lowered the risk - this was also one study and is therefore not ultimate PROOF one way or the other.
Suffocation while also very rare is another matter. This is higher in cosleeping situations although predominantly due to use of drugs, alcohol etc.. as I mentioned in my last post.

I have just looked through the information I was given by the NHS and it is very unhelpfully vague. It does indeed state that the safest place for baby is in a crib/cot in the parents room for the first 6 months. Nowhere however does it say not to co-sleep. It says not to share a bed if you smoke/drink/take drugs etc.. but nowhere says not to under any circumstances.The SIDS foundation website also seems to have taken this slightly non-committal approach to advice on the subject (I have not read the whole website, only the 'how to look after your baby section)

Therefore, there is no right and wrong to this argument. It is up to parents to make their own informed choices based on thier own interpretation of the information they have

 

[nmf1987]

i think it's each to their own on this subject and dont feel anyone is wrong as such as it's your baby your choice.

for me though i will never do it. but that is due to seeing my sister doing it when niece was baby and now she is 3 and still not sleeping in her own bed all night. alot of hassle for a couple of peaceful nights if you ask me. lol.

fair play if it is what you want to do though. me and oh prefered to have some sleepless nights training dainton that his bed is where he sleeps. now he is coming up 7 months and sleeping in his cot in his room all night. same as he has slept through since 3 weeks old.

good luck whichever way you choose hope you all get some sleep. maybe sleepless nights for the mummys is the cause of arguements. lol. xxx

 

[littlemiss83]

Ive just reread my post and realised I have forgotten to differentiate between SIDS and suffocation. SIDS is very rare and no-one really knows why it occurs. it is nothing to do with being suffocated by duvets or parents and there is no proven risk or benefit associated with SIDS and cosleeping (unless the parents smoke). There are some studies that have shown that the risk of SIDS is actually lower in breastfed co-sleeping infants although the study I read was unable to assertain whether it was the cosleeping or the breastfeeding which lowered the risk - this was also one study and is therefore not ultimate PROOF one way or the other.
Suffocation while also very rare is another matter. This is higher in cosleeping situations although predominantly due to use of drugs, alcohol etc.. as I mentioned in my last post.

I have just looked through the information I was given by the NHS and it is very unhelpfully vague. It does indeed state that the safest place for baby is in a crib/cot in the parents room for the first 6 months. Nowhere however does it say not to co-sleep. It says not to share a bed if you smoke/drink/take drugs etc.. but nowhere says not to under any circumstances.The SIDS foundation website also seems to have taken this slightly non-committal approach to advice on the subject (I have not read the whole website, only the 'how to look after your baby section)

Therefore, there is no right and wrong to this argument. It is up to parents to make their own informed choices based on thier own interpretation of the information they have

I think maybe thats worth reading over again? If the safest place for the baby is in their crib, that means its not as safe if you have them sleep anywhere else...Ie in your bed, on the couch where-ever.

It might also be worth you reading the FSIDS website, I have a link here if you want it, from what I believe they are the biggest group of researchers on SIDS (correct me if i'm wrong) they also suggest about baby being safer in cot. You may say its vague but im sure theres more info out there out there if you take a non-biased approach to the research, for example ppl may search for, pros of co-sleeping rather than, con's of co-sleeping, coz we only read what we want to read dont we.

I'm not really wanting to argue about it anymore tbh. As someone said, its your own babies you can do as you please, we can argue til the cows come home but ppl will still do as they please. I'm sure majority of ppl would like to follow the NHS guidence but for whatever reason aren't able to, which is understandable (although I still think its avoidable), but to say that they are wrong, i duno its just a bit strange that on a pregnancy forum so many ppl doubt the NHS, from what I know from this thread everyone gave birth in an NHS hosp, why trust them with that then call them liars. If you co-sleep fair do's to you, but saying they are lying is a different issue.

 

[MrsR]

We co-slept with DD and DS and would do again. Each to their own IMHO. Your baby, your decision, your rules. I wouldn't wean early but I also wouldn't judge someone else for doing so. I absolutely loved co-sleeping and we still would if DS wanted to.

 

[Froslass]

I agree each to their own - there are too many different fact and studies on this to say either way.

Rach, you need to make your own decision on this hun Look up as much info as you can and then you'll be well equipped to decide if it's something you'd wanna do x