Birth Plan - No idea!

[Sarah90]

I'm 29 weeks today and when I saw my midwife last week she said to start thinking about my birth plan...
Am I the only person out there who realllllly doesn't know what I want? I know I still have 11 weeks to go, but I just have no idea. One minute I think a water birth sounds great, next I think natural birth in one of the nice birthing rooms, then I think oh gosh do I really want to feel it all should I just have an epidural?!
I know everyone has different experiences of having these and sometimes there isn't much choice it could all just happen quickly or differently, but I still feel a bit clueless as to what I would like. Either way I could get there and decide against what I've put, but I would like to think there is a preferred way I would like..... Anyone have any experience of this? X

 

[GF91]

I'm still 80% clueless- I've got a rough idea in my head, ideally like to stay at home aslong as possible, I'd like a water birth but with only one birthing pool at my hospital that'll be highly unlikely, I want to try and do as much as I can naturally- but I'm not opposed to any pain relief. That may all go out the window and I'll probably wing it lol! Xxx

 

[littlemonkey]

I never had a birth plan other than I wanted LO to make it out in one piece!

There is nothing wrong with not having any preferences, some people don't want home births or water births and some people do.

One thing I would suggest having been through it all before is do have a look into pain relief options and consider what you want. Your hospital should provide you with information on what's available in your pregnancy notes. I wasn't really bothered last time, I went in thinking I'd see how it went and take what I needed when I needed it. I ended up being quite sick from the opiates I was given, so will be staying away from them this time around. But it's worth having an idea of what you want as things like an epidural you won't be able to have once you reach a certain stage.

 

[megsmeadow]

It's absolutely fine to put down that you'd like to be offered these things but may not feel like it when it comes to the crunch! It is so hard to know how you'll feel at the time, even if you have done it before! I almost think it's easier to be more flexible as you might decide a water birth is for you but if it doesn't happen be really disappointed. There's no rules!!

 

[Rachel87]

I wanted a water birth with just gas and air but cause I was induced due to my waters breaking without going into labour I was unable to go in the water as I needed to be monitored, so have a plan of what you want but be prepared that you might have to make a couple of changes.x

 

[tinselcat]

One tip I had was to think of it as "birthing preferences" rather than a plan, because people can often get upset when things deviate from the "plan".

It's probably worth considering the different medical pain relief options:
- epidural
- opiates (e.g. diamorphine) - apparently this is basically heroin!
- gas & air

Are you opposed to any of them?

(Water has been shown to ease pain too)

Another tip was to try and summarise the birth preferences as a tweet (just 180 characters) - mine was originally:
"Natural active birth, water pain relief, no opiates, intervention as last resort"

Although I'm probably about 50:50 for C-section at the mo - trying not to feel too disappointed about that

 

[Emmy81]

I have felt very much like this too! My midwife has never even mentioned a birth plan to me so not sure if it is something they bother much with in my area. I have printed my own 'plan' off from a template I found on the internet, just to try and get an idea of how I think I would like things to go. I keep changing my mind about what I would like, so think it may be I will just see how I feel at the time.

My personal preference would be to avoid opiate based pain relief but would go for an epidural if things feel that bad. I suppose you never really know until the time how you will feel and what level of pain relief you will want. I think the most important thing is to be aware of what the options are so you can at least make a choice you are happy with at the time xx

 

[LaceyKeo]

Maybe stop focussing on what you do want, and think about what you don't want instead.

My birth plan ended up a piece of paper that basically said:

"No epidural unless ABSOLUTELY necessary.
C-Sec only if there is a danger to me or baby.
Medical persons to proceed as they see fit".

I ended up on all fours with pethadine.

This time I will be saying "pethadine as soon as possible. Proceed as medical persons see fit".

 

[Mrs_W]

I'm not writing one. Only thing I am ruling out is forceps, unless baby is in extreme danger. Not ruling out anything else. I'm a ftm but work in obstetric operating theatre so prob have seen too much.

 

[littlemonkey]

Maybe stop focussing on what you do want, and think about what you don't want instead.

My birth plan ended up a piece of paper that basically said:

"No epidural unless ABSOLUTELY necessary.
C-Sec only if there is a danger to me or baby.
Medical persons to proceed as they see fit".

I ended up on all fours with pethadine.

This time I will be saying "pethadine as soon as possible. Proceed as medical persons see fit".

All the things I didn't want last time are what happened - induction and c section!

 

[Sarah90]

Oh wow I feel a huge relief from writing this post!
I don't know why but I had it in my head that people write really long birthing plans that are really specific as well. I think the birthing preferences is a great idea rather than a plan, and also writing down what I really don't want.
Is it really bad I didn't even know what opiates was! This has given me a whole new insight into what I will research into. My MW did give me a sheet with pain relief on available at my hospital so I will have a read through tonight.
I think my hosp only has 2 birthing pools as well, so it may not even be an option on the day. I just want LO to come out happy and healthy! I'm going to book a tour after New Year of my maternity unit so can have a snoop round and ask questions. All your answers are much appreciated, at least know I feel at ease even if I only write a few sentences on what I would prefer and what I definitely don't want, rather than thinking everyone writes a book lol xx

 

[Flickalicious]

Remember to include:
- who your birthing partners will be
- who you want to cut the cord
- who do you want to tell you the sex
- do you want skin to skin straight away or would you rather baby be cleaned up and wrapped in a blanket?
- if that's the case does Dad get the first cuddle?
- do you want to pass the placenta naturally or be given the jab?
- do you want an active labour?
- birth ball, walking around, able to change position at will?
- are you having music playing?
- lights dimmed?
- do you appose assissted delivery unless 100% necessary?
- list any pain relief you DONT want

Im sure there is more as well. Im 34 weeks on tuesday, need to get my ass in gear and write my own! :/

 

[LaceyKeo]

Remember to include:
- who your birthing partners will be Good idea, so they know who to let in the room
- who you want to cut the cord They'll offer you and dad/BP to cut the cord but of it's something you/OH/BP really want it's a good idea to note it
- who do you want to tell you the sex [Never gave this a thought, they just announced it as he arrived[/B]
- do you want skin to skin straight away or would you rather baby be cleaned up and wrapped in a blanket? worth noting, they'll probably straight skin-to-skin unless you specify otherwise
- if that's the case does Dad get the first cuddle? they'll auto-hand to you unless specified, so again, if this is something you want, note it
- do you want to pass the placenta naturally or be given the jab? they'll wait for the placenta to pass first, and give you the option after a set amount of time
- do you want an active labour? by the time you're actually in labour, whatever you've thought beforehand will go out the window so I wouldn't worry about this. You'll do what feels natural at the time
- birth ball, walking around, able to change position at will?as above
- are you having music playing? as above
- lights dimmed? as above
- do you appose assissted delivery unless 100% necessary? definitely note if so
- list any pain relief you DONT want as above

Im sure there is more as well. Im 34 weeks on tuesday, need to get my ass in gear and write my own! :/

All the above are only in MY experience. Others will have different things to say.

I honestly believe the most important thing is to be open to "going with the flow", as a rigid birth plan could end up being very disappointing.

 

[Mummy2toddler]

I personally think birth plans are a waste of time lol I'd love a nice easy labour water birth have no problems and just have gas and air lol. But my midwife mentioned it to me i said I'm not going bother but thank you.

In actual fact unless I suddenly go in labour in the next week I'm being induced next Sunday. I don't want epidural or pethidine my partner is going be at the birth n that's all really lol xx

 

[Flickalicious]

Im sure 'going with the flow' is obvious. But it's nice to have some idea of how you'd like the birth to be. My 'plan' was very different to how things actually played out with my son but there is no harm in sitting down and thinking about what you'd like to happen. After all it's something some women may only ever do once or twice.

 

[LaceyKeo]

In all honesty, if you trust your birth partner (OH, or mum, or whoever it is), you shouldn't need a birth plan at all.

Like, my XOH knew I didn't want an Epi, or a C-sec (unless absolutely had to), and I knew I could trust him to speak for me and make a decision on my behalf if need be.

I know my OH now will be a rock, and won't let them push anything on me if it's not desperately needed. I also know we've talked several times already about what I "hope" birth will be like, what I "expect" birth to be like, and what could realistically happen. We've talked over worst-case scenarios (such as life-or-death situations, having to decide between saving me or baby, that sort of thing). As much as they're not nice, they do happen, and I feel more comfortable that given a choice, he will make the decision we've previously agreed on.

All the above makes a birth plan pretty much obsolete.

 

[littlemonkey]

There's nothing wrong with having preferences, but I do think it is so important to be open to the idea that might not happen in reality. There is a danger a birth plan can become something women expect rather than prefer.

My son's birth was not what anyone would choose quite frankly, and I know a lot of women who in similar situations have been left feeling quite bitter and depressed about how their children came into the world because it didn't meet their expectations. It's something I've never understood myself personally (after a few months of shock and recovery!) because to me the most important thing is we both made it.

 

[LaceyKeo]

There's nothing wrong with having preferences, but I do think it is so important to be open to the idea that might not happen in reality. There is a danger a birth plan can become something women expect rather than prefer.

My son's birth was not what anyone would choose quite frankly, and I know a lot of women who in similar situations have been left feeling quite bitter and depressed about how their children came into the world because it didn't meet their expectations. It's something I've never understood myself personally (after a few months of shock and recovery!) because to me the most important thing is we both made it.

QFT.

 

[CARNAT22]

I had quite an 'ideal' last time round and it didn't work out so this time I'm not doing any kind of plan.

I want to go to birthing centre so I know that rules out an epidural (I didn't have one last time despite having my waters broken and going on the drip from 6cm) but other than that I have no plans or expectations or strong feelings?

Just want it to be a bit faster this time.

X

 

[ceecee22]

I had a plan written as I was using a midwife led unit and they were really keen to know all my preferences...particularly in regards to straight after birth, ie: cutting cord, leaving it to pulsate, skin to skin, natural or managed 3rd stage etc.

I knew that things could (and often do) deviate from the plan, but it helped me to relax and stay calm in early labour and active labour knowing that they didn't have to keep asking what I wanted all the time. The unit I used had pools in all the rooms, plus light dimmers, birthing balls, music, sensory lights and massage as well as aromatherapy oils, and couldn't offer pain relief beyond gas and air.

I was incredibly lucky (especially for a first birth) that things pretty much went exactly how I wanted them to go so I have done another plan this time. I do remain fully open minded that it might go totally differently on the day, and baby arriving safely is the main thing. Just in my own experience, having my thoughts written down means I can just let midwife refer to them and if hubby was to panic and forget something then he knows my preferences too.

C xx