Alcohol before knowing I was pregnant

saragrace

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So I’ve been extremely worried and feeling terrible about how much I’ve drank alcohol, before knowing I was pregnant. I’ve completely stopped as soon as I found out.
I’m looking for some gentle reassurance and possibly some stories. Can anyone relate to this or know someone who has also gone through this?
I know at this point, more stress can only cause more harm to my unborn baby. And I’m trying to enjoy my 1st pregnancy, but the constant google searches are not helping :(
I’m already tearing myself apart, so please be kind.

I found out I was pregnant at 20 weeks.
I’ve had irregular periods for many years and even a false period in December (while I was unknowingly 3 months pregnant)
I had no symptoms besides strong food aversions. Obviously things became TOO abnormal, which is why I took a test and nearly fainted at the news.
I’ve always wanted a baby, I just didn’t quite know how this would come to me.

I’d say I’ve had beer nearly every weekend for 3 months. My boyfriend is a musician and at events, and the amount kinda just snuck up on me. Sometimes as many as 5-8 beers throughout the afternoon and evening. Sometimes less or none at all.
I had also some on new years. And a few mimosas at Christmas.
No hard alcohol. I was never extremely intoxicated or anywhere near wasted. Just caught a buzz here and there.

I’ve had blood tests, and several ultrasounds.
The doctors say the baby looks perfectly healthy and normal, and weighs the perfect weight for each week. This gave me a brief amount of relief but my overthinking ramps up and more internet searches.
I spoke to my doctor about this and she said, most alcohol consumption will just terminate a pregnancy. And that hasn’t happened.
I have had a healthy diet, I don’t smoke anything, and I’ve been taking pre natals. I’m doing everything I can on my end. But I still feel terrible and have even been losing sleep over this.
My partner is extremely supportive and I want to feel equally as excited for our son to be born. But I am wracked with guilt and fear.
I know hormones are at an all time high and perhaps my thinking is not so clear at the moment. So any support is so appreciated right now.
I’m aware that the placenta isn’t even formed until 12 weeks. My baby is due in June and I’m just hoping everything will be okay.
 

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