35 weeks pregnant and partner left for another women

[1sttimemum2b]

Focus on your baby and your children. No man should make you feel like this. He is worthless and I would ignore him until after baby is born as you do not need the added stress of this.
Surround yourself with people who will be there for you and when you get through this you will realise you never want that scum back in your life

 

[cassi]

The school are being really good and trying to help him he's really is so strong but deep down I know he's really missing him so much and I don't understand why daddy isn't here anymore!i don't get y he is not turning up and seeing them at every opportunity I would never stop him seeing them if he was trying to be in their lives no matter how I feel about what he's done but now I just feel like he doesn't deserve them in his life
I feel like he's liking the fact I'm hurting and that is something I will never understand as all I did was love him I really was not an awful person like he says I was it feels like he's convinced himself that this is all my fault and I don't get why no one in his life is telling him actually she's carrying your child have some respect but he says they all think he made the best decision
He even got his new women to write me an email saying how I should be understanding that he's in love and how she will be in his life forever and I have to get used to that I'm wish I could get over it and hate him but I can't right now I'm hoping once this baby arrives I can start moving on and not have to think about them everyday

Him and his new girlfriend both seem bat shit crazy! They deserve each other and your children don't deserve a nasty piece of work like him around. You keep being the best mom you can be, let maintenance deal with the money side of things that he DOES owe and make sure you get the back payments since he left. Also, make sure they know he's living with someone else now as there will likely then be 2 incomes and they will take that into account. Money grabber? Seriously, what a disgusting, deluded man and that woman...I have no words.

Look after yourself, you will get through this, enjoy your new bundle of joy and one day you will find a lovely man and you'll look back and be happy he left so you could find someone who respects and treats you AND your children well. I honestly have no words, and when he says people have said he's made the right decision don't listen, he's clearly a compulsive liar.

Karma is a beautiful thing, it will bite him in the arse one day and he'll be on his own with no-one while you stand back with a smug grin.

 

[Luciec]

Thank you I think once baby arrives thinks will seem slightly less daunting I think I finding it so hard as in my worst nightmare I could have never imagined he could be so horrible to me and his children.
He has either been fake our whole relationship or this women has completely changed him my whole family can't believe it him either so it's not just me who so shocked by his behaviour
I just wish I could make some sense of it but I don't think I ever will and I hope one day he realises just how lucky he was to have these kids that he turned his back on as they are such good funny children but I don't think he ever will regret it I just hope they understand it wasn't them but all his actions

 

[redbear]

She sounds mental who thinks they will be with someone forever after a few weeks!! They don't know each other yet. It's all rainbows in the honeymoon period but don't worry he will come back to earth with a bump.
He did love you, you don't stay for 15 years if you don't love someone he is just trying to kid himself (and her).
I'd email her back saying I don't care what you two do but he needs to see his kids alone. I won't have women in and out of his life get back to me in 6 months and I'll reconsider.

 

[Luciec]

I have made the decision just to completely ignore him until have this baby next week and to be honest I think until I'm fully recovered from c section I am blocking him completely he is not being consistent with our two boys who are absolutely heart broken by his action towards them and I think the reason he doesn't want to see them is he would have to take responsibility for what he's actually caused!
He just keeps saying I left you not my children which I think is a little bit ridiculous as I'm currently carrying his unborn baby and we are a family unit it's not like he just left cos he was unhappy he left for another women and moved straight in with her
I wish he could show a little remorse for what he's done but he's so hurtful and rude to me when it should be the other way round but right now I just don't have the energy to deal with it all

 

[redbear]

You do right love. Concentrate on yourself. You and baby are more important than his feelings or ego. It's horrible and hard but try to put it to the back of your mind.
He can throw a paddy all he wants he made his bed and will have to lie in it xxx

 

[cassi]

Good move, poor thing do you have a solicitor? I would seek legal advice too re maintenance etc. X

 

[Luciec]

i have seeked legal advice and I am going through child Maintance
He turned up today at my door after 6 weeks of no contact with his kids and expected me to let him in not a chance I have just settled children in to a routine where they finally have stopped asking for him constantly
Sadly I think he only did it as he knows I'm having my c section next week and he wanted to make it harder for me he also came out with the fact he apparently never meant to fall in love with someone else and he never meant to live in with her like it just happens overnight
He was fully dressed in all new clothes and style yet has not and will not give me a penny for our unborn baby
Yet I'm all upset again thinking about him and he gets to go home and be with her and that breaks my heart all over agin

 

[Blueclass]

Oh huni im sorry his still being a cock. I think its best to maybe go through solicitors as to when and where he sees your children. You could make it be at a contact centre that way you will not have to be there. Xx

 

[Blueclass]

How are you getting on x

 

[Luciec]

Hi
Ok thank you only 2 more days to go and then at least the pregnancy part is over with I feel like he's completely ruined it for me
Feel so anxious about doing this all without him but I have to keep reminding myself he's not the same guy I thought he was all I get are emails saying how he only left me and not his children and that he and her have done nothing wrong but fall in love how he believes that I don't know
His poor children are struggling without their daddy being home everyday as I think they now understand he's never coming back home
I keep thinking that as he knows my c section date he may actually ask how his unborn child is or if it's arrived as both other boys were early but nothing at all it's like he's just blank this baby from his mind and that still hurts me so much
Just want to start the healing process once baby arrives as I have found it super hard to heal while I have his baby inside me x

 

[Blueclass]

That's fair enough. I hope the section goes well and you and back yet will be ok. I know it's hard but try not to let this evil man and his slagging of a missis ruin this for you. Your about to meet your beautiful baby and about to have such a joyful and magical experience. His going to miss out on so so much and your going to be a fab mummy to 3 children and your going to be absolutely fine. Xx

 

[cassi]

Good luck! Is it today or was it yesterday? How are you feeling x

 

[Luciec]

Yeah thank you hf a baby boy which sadly got slightly ruined by the father decided that was the day to message to tell me his new girlfriend is pregnant it's like he loves to hurt me over and over again why on that day?
Baby is all good and healthy and I'm recovering slowly and trying not to cry but right now it's so hard as I feel like he's just replaced me and our baby and our ooor little boys who when they find out how they may feel I don't even know how they may deal with it

 

[Blueclass]

Hi congratulations on the birth of your little boy. I hope you are doing ok, iv had a c section and it was agony!
I'm so sorry your useless excuse of man ex has ruined what should have been a magical day. He really is a nasty piece of work and it was probably his tart of a gf that told him to txt you on that day. She probably got pregnant because she was worried he would be spending time at yours with the baby and suddenly realise what he has and leave her. This is just the most horrendous thing iv read. Iv told my husband who things he is a c&€t and his gf is a slapper. He cant beleive a guy would do this to his children. As for telling the kids get him to do it, it's not up to you. He made his bed now he has to deal with the consequences.

I just want to drive to you and give you a big hug xx

 

[Luciec]

Thank you yeah it super hard recovering with two little boys wanting attention non stop but can't wait to fill normal again and just move on
Even though he's been messaging saying his grandad died and he now wants to speak to his children and part of me feel bad but the other prt of me feels like it shouldn't have taken this for him to bother trying to contact them and he's keep saying I know u hate me in every message and I feel like saying no I never did that you hating me
I have said no for now as they have just had to deal with a new baby and have just stopped asking for him and I don't feel like he will keep up any kind of consistency with them especially with his and her new baby
Also not one message asking how his new son is not one it feel like it's never ending with him at the moment

 

[redbear]

Having kids with you didn't stop him doing what he did so it won't work out for her either. He will just have less money with cash taking for your three and taking for hers too. She is a dosy cow for wanting kids with someone who doesn't see his own kids.
I'm sorry he is acting like this but I'd tell him that if he wants contact with his kids thenow it is going to have to be at your house supervised for an hour until he can be trusted. I wouldn't want her anywhere near them because she sounds mental xx

 

[Luciec]

I have said to him that it will have to be supervised as it's been too long and they have been hurt but I think he won't turn up and then I will deal with upset children again
My 6 year old has really started to get upset now baby is here and keeps asking why daddy doesn't want to visit his new brother And I really don't know what to say I'm so sick of lying for him and making excuses to them when I fee like saying the truth that he is a completely different man than we all believed he was
He says that he wants to be part of all his kids life's now and that I'll have to accept she will be helping raise them and right now that's not goin to happen she is a completel stranger and the boys don't need that in their lives
He really believes that I'm in the wrong and that he's just moved on and I should be happy about it I feel like hitting his head against a brick wall and saying it was only 2 months ago that he was telling me I was his world and he could wait for his new baby
How he can be so happy so quickly is so strange I still miss him after everything

 

[redbear]

Yes you are bound to. But you miss the man he was not who he is now, I think that you are right it needs to be supervised and as for she will help raise them why? They have a mum and dad and don't need anything else. A step parent shouldn't be forced on a child especially so soon. I wouldn't want any future boyfriend to play daddy to my kids. They have a dad they don't need another (my views I respect their are amazing step parents but I just think that takes time and should be a natural progression that should be taken seriously over time not thrown at them. It reminds me of when people say they had 20 'uncles'.)
I really feel for you it's a horrible situation for you to be in. I really hope that things settle down. He really needs to be consistent with visitations. Maybe arrange one but don't mention it to the boys so they are not upset if he doest show, and supervised deffinalty for a while.
If he thinks you should be happy for him he needs some mental help. All this is not normal at all xxx

 

[Luciec]

Since the baby has been born he's all about the nice messages and asking to meet the baby and how he wants to see me and if he can help me with anything and would I like him to buy US our baby first portrait like we are still an Us
I sadly think it's just another game I hope he has maybe realised that this baby is completely innocent but why he thinks he needs to see me is baffling
I just want to recover and make sure baby is ok as has bad jaundice and is back in hospital just wish he would leave us alone for a while to settle as a family as he clearly didn't want to be part of it before