partner disaproves of my dogs

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by lulu, Apr 14, 2005.

  1. lulu

    lulu Well-Known Member

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    Hi, I am nearly 9 weeks pregnant. I seem to be forever writing new topics! Just when things start settling down my partner is now saying he would prefer it if I rehomed my dogs!
    I have two dogs who I love to pieces, a collie cross and a dalmation cross, so no means aggressive.
    He is not a dog fan and does not like coming to my house because the dogs are here. He has expressed his concerns about them jumping on me while im pregnant, the financial strain and that he does not agree with animals being around babies. He says that I do not know how they will be around the new baby and that just because I know them and their temperment its not good enough, He is continuosly asking me to rehome them which he knows upsets me as I love them so much. He has also said that he cannot support me properly if I keep them because he will not be around my house to see me and I cant move into his house with them. I have spoken to friends about this and alot of them have said he is adding more stress on to me, and is being unfair as I seem to be sacrificing things and he is not even willing to change his shifts at work when the baby is born. I admit that I am soft with them and should keep them in one area of the house but I am willing to do this in the future and especially when the baby arrives.
    I know its a strange topic but I need advice.... Thanks
     
  2. Becky

    Becky Well-Known Member

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    While I would never leave an animal alone in a room with a baby I don't think there is a problem with keeping pets and having a baby.

    I think so long as you "introduce" the baby to the dogs there shouldn't be a problem.

    My mum and dad have a dog and when my brother first took the baby round to visit, the dog was very curious, and jealous of the little baby and the attention it was getting (he still it jealous a little) but now my brother's baby is 16 months and he and the dog have a game they play where Noel (the baby) runs up to the dog, the dog licks his face and then Noel runs away rubbing his face at the sloppy kiss and then does it again.

    One thing a midwife suggested was to take a (clean) blanket or similar of the dogs to the hospital with you and place it in with the baby when it's born, then take the blanket home and put it in with the dog so that they get used to the smell. Then when you take the baby home and introduce them the smell will be familiar.
     
  3. Strangeness

    Strangeness Well-Known Member

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    Wow I would never get rid of my dog for anyone! If my partner asked me to I would tell him no straight away, they are just as much a part of your life as anyone and it would break their hearts as well as yours if you gave them up. There is no reason for you to worry about having dogs and a baby, they usually get on very well and I think it's good for kids not to be scared of them for when they get older.

    My partner was petrified of dogs when I was first with him but now he has realised that not all dogs are bad. You can't seperate him from my dog now, they are always together when he is here. Try getting your partner to be near the dogs and see how well they get on. Tell him that you homed them so you are not willing to get rid of them, dogs can be like children would you rehome a child if you got a new partner who didn't like the child? I think he is being unfair by asking you to rid of them, you are obviously really attached to them.
     
  4. bobtheunfortunateone

    bobtheunfortunateone Well-Known Member

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    We have kittens does that count? :(

    They were very expensive and are house cats they are very lively so we are building a run outside so the can burn off energy off outside, but they keep jumping on me I hate it when the go near my belly! But we love them too so we are hoping the will grow out of it! But they are not allowed in our bedroom unless we are there now and the room that will be the nursery (Junk room) will be off limits, the best thing is to see how we go hey! one sign of a prob then there out! oh and I agree never leave the baby alone with the dogs/cats!
     
  5. HayleyB

    HayleyB Well-Known Member

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    The 2 family old english sheepdogs live with my mum, and Graham's scared that they are too boisterous for a baby.
    But when mum had me, she had an old english sheepdog and when she brought me home from the hospital she went in the house first and gave the pup loads of attention and then dad brought me in and laid me on the floor wearing nothing but a nappy so that the dog could sniff me and make sure i wasn't a threat!
    I want to do the same when i have my baby, so that the dogs know who the baby is, and that they aren't a threat to them!
    Grahams scared of doing it, but obviously we aren't going to leave the baby alone with the dogs!!
    there's no way i'd give the dogs up....

    xxxx
     
  6. babi

    babi Member

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    do you think maybe there are other issues he has and is just using the dogs as an excuse. i'm thinking, u get rid of the dogs and he comes up with another problem, like stop seeing a friend who has a boyfriend who hs a dog, or something equally as ridiculous. anyho, my opinion is talk to him, to try to decipher if maybe ometing else underlines all this.
    And i grew up with dogs and didnt get eaten and babies come over to my place all the time - no casualties yet. I mean your dogs arent Kujo- right? All the best with your decision. :wink:
     
  7. Hypnorm

    Hypnorm Well-Known Member

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    Did you manage resolve the isues with the dogs?
     
  8. Bagpuss17

    Bagpuss17 Well-Known Member

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    Hi Lulu,

    There's no way I'd get rid of my pets for a bloke or anybody else for that matter.

    He needs to take time to get to know them and get comfortable around them. As somebody else said, where will his controlling end, if it's not this it could be something else.

    You're not the first person to have pets and a baby, millions of people have both living in harmony. Point that out to him.

    The suggestion of taking a blanket to the hospital to get the babies scent and bringing it home is brilliant, it's what pet behaviourists and dog/cat charities recommend.

    I've got 4 cats and am more worried about how they are going to react to the new baby in terms of feeling put out than the babys safety. That will be taken care of by us.

    Articles I've read say to start reducing the amount of fussing you give them in the months leading up to the birth so that their prepared for change. Set your boundaries now i.e. if you don't want them jumping up because of your bump, or sitting on the sofa etc. You might need to train them a bit more.

    Once we're 5/6 months pregnant we're going to make the nursery out of bounds for the cats but we'll let them in supervised so that they can have a good sniff of everything and get their scent in there.

    Lots of people comment on how protective their pets get when their pregnant, they must sense something is different.

    Let us know how you get on.
     
  9. Guest

    we just got a puppy and to grow up with our baby, there is 10 days difference between them. dogs are great for children, they can also learn responsibilty from looking after them. and animals can be good therapy for people. considering our max is only a puppy, hes very protective over alana already, hes never leaves her side and sleeps under her bouncer.

    please dont get rid of ur dogs, they look to you as being their master it wud break their hearts
     
  10. OverTheMoon

    OverTheMoon Well-Known Member

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    Hi
    We have two cats. They were kittens when I was first pregnant. They both fell ill after a stay in a cattery and with my hubby away I had to clean up cat sick every day for weeks which I was really worried about, but did me no harm at all and my baby is fine.
    The cats are totally uninterested in Connor, they won't go anywhere near him, but have started to bring us 'presents' in the form of dead birds and mice which is really freaking me out. I come downstairs every morning and find guts everywhere. This is (sadly) starting to make me resent the cats, even tho they are doing it to prove their love to us. I am just concerned about what will happen when Connor is old enough to crawl. Anyway I would not rehome the cats, they were here first, we will just have to find a way to resolve the mouse issue!
    I also believe that introducing a baby to animals means that they will hopefully build up resilience against allergies....? Just an idea. But I would hate Connor to be one of those children who is allergic to all things furry!
     
  11. lulu

    lulu Well-Known Member

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    Hi,

    Ive just found this thread again that I wrote ages ago!!!

    Sorry I have not replied :oops:

    Update:

    The dogs were temperarily fostered by a lovely girl who treat them juat like I did. I had to move out of the house I was renting and back in with my partner as I also lost my job.
    The dogs were permanently rehomed by the girl who fostered them by someone she worked with. I had the home checked by a registered homechecker.
    I have been to see them and they are being very spoilt. They have settled in really well though and the guy who has them can look after them so much better than I could.

    I do miss them terribly, it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do and I still cry over it. It would have been hard having them with Jack, maybe things would have been different if I was on my own in my own place!
    Anyway, I am still in contact with the guy who has them and I can see them whenever I want. (even though it is a 2 hour drive!!!)
     

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