35 weeks pregnant and partner left for another women

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Luciec, Feb 12, 2017.

  1. Luciec

    Luciec Well-Known Member

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    35 weeks pregnant and partner left for another women
    My partner of 15 years who we share two other kids with who are 3 and 6 upped and left on New Year's Day to move in with his new women
    I am 35 weeks pregnant which we planned and I have to have a c section on 3 weeks
    He is out drinking and loving life whiles I'm struggling to not think about him every second.
    We were planning our wedding only a few months ago and I don't understand how another women can make him forget all of our time and history together
    I offered him regular time to see his other children but he made excuses why he couldn't,ignored their calls but then send messages telling me I'm ruining his relationship with his older children
    He also now is saying how he want to be in the delivery room when the baby is born but I have a feeling it's to try and make it uncomfortable for me!
    How can he just stop loving me whiles I have his unborn baby living in me not once has he asked how baby or I am coping
    Sorry about rambling just so lost and confused
     
  2. Jaydn

    Jaydn Member

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    I am so sorry u are going thru this especially at this stage. I know how hard and scary it must be for u right now. I really do hope that u have some support other than ur ex. He sounds heartless as does a woman who wad break up ur family. If u have someone please lean on them for support.
    you will definitely need someone to help with the kids, etc after ur C-section. I hurt for u and wish u all the best going fwd.
     
  3. Blueclass

    Blueclass Well-Known Member

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    Oh my God this is so so heart breaking. What a awful situation for you and must be scary. I had a c section and you definitely need help for a good while after who will help? I can't believe a woman would go after a man who is about to get married and have a baby with plus already have some. My friend is currently going through the same she is due in April and have one baby together already. He met this girl from America whilst playing x box and has said his leaving England to go there to be with her, it's crazy.

    All I can say is be strong you deserve so so so so much better and when he sees the grass is not greener on the other side I hope you kick him to the curb. He does not deserve you or the kids, what a horrible and weak man. They should both be ashamed of themselves.

    As for the delivery of your baby you decide who is in the room with you and if you tell them not to let him in they wont. Think carefully about it as you need to be calm nd it's the first time your see your little one, do you want him there and potentially ruining it for you or do you have him there in hope it will make him see he should be with you..... I guess it's a hard question only you can answer. For me it would be no his not allowed in, he lost that right when he left and how could I ever trust him after this I couldn't. There's plenty of men out there who will look after your kids when your ready to be with someone again. Someone who will love, cherish and make you feel like the woman you deserve to feel like.

    Where are you from, I'm wondering if there's support groups ect.... id love to take you for a coffee and give you a big hug. X
     
  4. Luciec

    Luciec Well-Known Member

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    I know I couldn't do it to another pregnant women but they are living together and he says he's never been happier which kills me!
    We were actually happy and in a loving relationship right up to the day he walked out and I feel like it was all fake he now says he hasn't loved me for 6 years so the whole time we had our children
    He's barely bothering with our 3 and 6 year I offered him days where he could see them and he turned it down yet he used to see them every single day!how can he just change so much so quickly.
    I probably want him there in the hope he realises what he's lost but not once has he asked how this baby is or how I am so I know that won't happen but he acts like this baby isn't even happening and I want him to see what he actually has lost and then have to live with that!
    Whiles I'm sat at home crying and caring for our boys he's out drinking and partying with her and acting like we never exsisted my whole family can't believe it either as he spent Xmas with us all laughing and joking
    I have a gut feeling his new girlfriend is also pregnant and he's just planning to raise that baby and forget ours
     
  5. Blueclass

    Blueclass Well-Known Member

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    What makes you think she is pregnant? It's just awful I feel for you so much. Where are from x
     
  6. Luciec

    Luciec Well-Known Member

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    The way he talks about how special and how he talks it's like he wants me to ask if she is but I don't want to know cos that will be the worse thing to hear right now whiles I'm still carrying his baby!we love in Hampshire
     
  7. Blueclass

    Blueclass Well-Known Member

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    I got married in Hampshire, Everley. Im surrey but takes me 45 min to get there. Yes that is not what you need right now. What does his family say about all this? How long has he been seeing this tart for?

    This may not be what you want to hear right now but keep any correspondence you have with them if you was to get divorced you can prove what his been up to and it will go in your favour. Id screw him for everything so that the kids and I have it all. X
     
  8. Luciec

    Luciec Well-Known Member

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    I have no clue as he won't say how long just that he loves her but my birthday was end of November and We were looking at wedding venues and he picked our wedding song and I don't even know if any of that was truth or guilt
    His family never liked me due to is having kids out of wed lock and never meet our boys and they are super happy we are no longer together which doesn't help
    I just feel so lost without him around as he really was my best friend we did everything together and it's like he's just replaced me as if I never mattered at all
     
  9. Blueclass

    Blueclass Well-Known Member

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    I can understand that. Who's going to help after a c section xx
     
  10. cassi

    cassi Well-Known Member

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    Sorry, I didn't want to read and run I just feel so awful for you. What a horrible disgusting man he is to do that. He doesn't sound like he has any morals at all :(. Focus on you, is there anyone who can stay with you and help? In the meantime apply for CSA so he's supporting his children money wise. I'd try and completely block him out for a couple of weeks, help rest your mind and take control away from him. He obviously just thinks you're sitting there at his beck and call despite him acting like a class A asshole. In fact, there is no words for what he's doing :( try and find another focus for a bit just so you can relax as much as possible in this situation for yours and the babies sake xxx
     
  11. Luciec

    Luciec Well-Known Member

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    In his head I am completely in the wrong and he has done nothing wrong and I can't get my head around that how he thinks he's done nothing wrong to me
    I have had to completely block him as he's just so hurtful and I just need answers to why he's don't this now but he won't answer and that hurts so much
    He's not asked about our baby once the whole time and I feel so sad about it how can he not care what happens to this baby he knows it's his I really believed we would be together forever I just feel so stupid as he obviously never cared about me at all
     
  12. Blueclass

    Blueclass Well-Known Member

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    He needs a serious kick up his arse. I know it easy for me to say but you need to try and focus on you, kids and your baby. All this stress is not good for either of you. X
     
  13. cassi

    cassi Well-Known Member

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    he's emotionally abusing you. He knows he's in the wrong but it makes him feel better to blame you and have control. His new relationship won't last with him like that and when it ends you can tell him to bugger off when he comes crawling back. The best thing to do is completely ignore him, let him know he's not in control and you're not just going to take the blame and be wrapped around his finger. Focus on you, someone much better will come along one day xx
     
  14. honeybear

    honeybear Well-Known Member

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    Hey hun didn't want to read and run,
    I'm so sorry your going through this, my partner didn't exactly leave me for another women but left me for majority of
    My pregnancy even though I had complications. He never turned up at the hospital or the scans so I understand how much it hurts and makes you question everything.
    If he's met another women .. we won't go into how much of a tramp she is but she may not keep him either when realising he could do that to you nothing to stop him doing it to her as well.
    It hurts and feels like it won't get better but as some the other girls have said best thing you can do is ignore him once he doesn't have that control they feel lost,
    I would also make a point before hand in saying his kids can judge his behaviour themselves when they are old enough. Your children have a mummy who loves them and provides for them including this little baby whose only needed you so far. Pregnancy hormones are a nightmare with situations as well. Keep your family close and friends, find a new birthing partner he should not have the option to do this to you and forget about his kids but be there and ruin your magical moment.

    You'll have your day when he tries to come back and you'll realise somehow you managed without him, I hope it goes ok with your little one
    Sending my love
     
  15. Luciec

    Luciec Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for your reply I keep hoping I'll wake up one day and feel better but I think until I have this baby it's so hard to heal knowing that he no longer wants this baby.
    Apparently his new women and him have discussed our unborn baby which when he told me hurt me so much that some other women can do that to another pregnant women I feel like they are both laughing knowing that the pain they have caused me!
    I'm just hoping once baby arrives it's my fresh start and really hope one day he regrets how he treated my two boys and how he treated this innocent unborn child
    It is just so hard when my 6 year old asked why daddy doesn't see him anymore and I don't know what to tell him as I know he's hurting and Not one phone call or visit for them it's like he is a complete stranger and not the man I ever I ever loved
    He said the whole 15 years he never loved me and is now so in love and happier than ever
     
  16. Blueclass

    Blueclass Well-Known Member

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    Your going to be a fab mum to all 3 children and of course there will be hard times but you can do this. Their complete scum and she will soon realise if he can do such a thing to you then he could easily do the same to her and she will deserve it. I hope you can stay strong and never take him back when he comes running because he will do this again to who ever he is with.
    Tell your 6yr old that daddy has gone to live with someone else for but he stills loves him and daddy will come round when his ready. What else can you say? Is he paying you for the kids? Xx
     
  17. Luciec

    Luciec Well-Known Member

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    I have had to go through child maintenance as he didn't want to pay and I got abusive message saying that I am a money grabber when child maintenance tracked him down the money he's giving me doesn't even cover the rent on our house
    I tell both boys daddy loves them and that he can visit them anytime as he knows where live but it's so hard as he never visit so I feel like they blame me rather than him
    He sent another email today saying that it's been two months and I should be over it by now and he's happier and ready to be a better dad to his boys and that I should move on too it's like he's forgotten I'm carrying his child
    He's made me feel so worthless like I meant nothing too him ever and I just don't understand why he wants to cause so much pain towards me especially when I'm 3 weeks away from having his child makes me so sad
     
  18. Blueclass

    Blueclass Well-Known Member

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    It is awful what his doing. Can your kids school not help out at all try talking to your boys or something? He should pay for his kids so your not a money grabber. It must be so hard and 2 months is not along time. I want to punch him in the face and his tart of a gf. What a sick woman to do this to you x
     
  19. honeybear

    honeybear Well-Known Member

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    I can't believe there are women out there who ruin kids families the way they do and more to the point that blokes feel it's ok to flit between families. Weather he's ready now to be a proper dad to them boys I'd say sack off because he's had his two months of bliss whilst you've been going through hell.
    How some people think is beyond me and it's easy for the person to do the ditching to turn it off because they get to walk away from their responsibilities
    TWo months is nothing compared too how long you where together and three children
    He should pay for his children he can't spend all that time with them and walk away Scott free whilst you pay for everything and your unborn baby you've done the right thing those children still need stuff growing up
    Please stay strong I can understand how horrible all this must be but I've learnt most of
    The time if someone can do that once to that extent they can do it again and she will be pushing everything. To make herself feel better too about it

    Bet you and your boys are so exited for the baby focus on that best you can things always work out in the end and you'll be much stronger at the end of it xx
     
  20. Luciec

    Luciec Well-Known Member

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    The school are being really good and trying to help him he's really is so strong but deep down I know he's really missing him so much and I don't understand why daddy isn't here anymore!i don't get y he is not turning up and seeing them at every opportunity I would never stop him seeing them if he was trying to be in their lives no matter how I feel about what he's done but now I just feel like he doesn't deserve them in his life
    I feel like he's liking the fact I'm hurting and that is something I will never understand as all I did was love him I really was not an awful person like he says I was it feels like he's convinced himself that this is all my fault and I don't get why no one in his life is telling him actually she's carrying your child have some respect but he says they all think he made the best decision
    He even got his new women to write me an email saying how I should be understanding that he's in love and how she will be in his life forever and I have to get used to that I'm wish I could get over it and hate him but I can't right now I'm hoping once this baby arrives I can start moving on and not have to think about them everyday
     
    #20 Luciec, Feb 25, 2017
    Last edited: Feb 25, 2017

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