35 weeks pregnant and partner left for another women

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Luciec, Feb 12, 2017.

  1. Luciec

    Luciec Well-Known Member

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    Thank you it would be nice just not to still feel so worthless even as the mother of his children justs a little bit of emotion of all that he's caused
    Telling our 6 year old he left me as he was so unhappy just not called for at all and even the 6 year old said to me mummy he never seemed unhappy so it wasn't just me fooled by it all

    I sadly do believe he will never feel guilt for what he's caused maybe they are meant to be together but could of done it without all the hurt the smugness of them both and also his family you would think o was this monster who treated him badly not having spent 15 years with him and raising our kids together I think he considers me dead to him

    Just wish I could feel so much hatred towards him but sadly o don't not at all

    Yes he's going on all these fancy holidays and has so much money and they are eating out and partying but if it that is worth than trying to fight to keep your family together one day I hope its his lose in the end as the most he will get will be every other weekend he could of tried saving us and then at least boys would have known he tried but I was not even worth a fight I guess
     
    #201 Luciec, Sep 7, 2017
    Last edited: Sep 7, 2017
  2. redbear

    redbear Well-Known Member

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    The Kids wont buy it they arnt stupid. He wont get 50/50 its rare one parent will because of school and consistency. let them eat out and holiday and when they are broke it will be tough. Money doesnt last forever.

    I hope your feeling better. Im sorry about your sons breathing.

    Also make sure you save copies of everything as evidence that you offered time and he refused xx
     
  3. Dovekie

    Dovekie Well-Known Member

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    I know exactly how you feel, as I'm going through it right now too. Our son is 14 weeks old now. He didn't even try, he just gave up and abused me in the process. He was more interested in maintaining his freedom and stress-free life. He is giving me maintenance, but it's nothing compared to his earnings. He's self-employed, so I believe it's easy to lie about it. He used to brag a lot to me about how much he earned and his parents reassured me that I didn't have to worry as he had plenty of money and they'd help me out. Now, they're all telling me he doesn't earn as much as I think he does! How convenient. So, he's giving me a set amount and has told me that if I claim properly, I won't get as much as that.

    He's also decided that he wants access to our son once a fortnight. Whenever he comes here, it's just fun and games for him. He just goes out for a day trip and usually ropes someone else into it (me, my dad, his parents) so that he's hardly ever alone with him.

    His mother has been arguing with me and blaming me for the pregnancy, because I'm a woman!

    I don't understand how we can be left like this, doing all of the work alone and counting pennies, when they've got their freedom, jobs, holidays (oh yes, he's going on holiday next week!) fun days out with their kid and not a care in the world.
     
  4. Luciec

    Luciec Well-Known Member

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    It's so unfair isn't it I used to be a great believer in Karma and that he would get a little bit of hurt and pain that he caused us all but he's absolutely loving life
    His family are the same and apparently love the new women yet they never had any contact with him for the past 6 years due to them not bothering with our children

    I am so sad and numb to everything and I don't see him with anything but happiness which makes me think maybe it was me as he's guilt free not a single bit of remorse

    It's so hard raising all three boys basically alone he is now trying to get access but sadly I think that is only to hurt me more rather than about the children makes me so mad that a man I loved for 15 years couldn't careless what happens to me the mother to his children if nothing else
     
    #204 Luciec, Sep 12, 2017
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2017
  5. Dovekie

    Dovekie Well-Known Member

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    It is so hard. What bothers me the most is the effect it might have on our son. He's so perfect. He's everything I could have wanted in a child, but there's all of this madness going on around him. His parents arguing all of the time. His mother crying a lot and struggling. I'm not really enjoying being a mother like I should be. There's no love around him in the form of two parents who love each other. I just see a broken family and a struggle that will carry on far into the future. I would love to have a happy, stable family life. I'm so worried it's going to damage him.

    I know it's difficult but you have to prove to him that you can come out of the other side of this happier than ever. Maybe find a man who would never desert you. Do you think falling in love with someone would help ease the suffering and focus your thoughts elsewhere? But how do you do it with kids in tow?!
     
  6. Luciec

    Luciec Well-Known Member

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    I don't think I would ever want to love someone else and I think he probably knows that I trusted him with my life and stupidly never thought he was capable of this especially when we had planned our 3rd baby

    It's so hard and it took me a long time to start enjoying my baby boy and I hate to admit that as I loved him but I was so numb and hurt and he reminded me of all the hurt and pain but I have to say I'm still hurting a lot but when my baby giggles and laughs and looks for me when he's with someone else I know he was the blessing that came out of all of this and if I had not been pregnant maybe I would of cracked but I had to fight for him and the other two boys

    I still have super bad days when absolutely knackered and I hear all about another holiday that affects him seeing his kids it shows me they don't mean the world to him it's just another game to hurt me and I hope they see that one day or he disappears as they just get confused when he comes

    I wish I was happier without him as he's so much happier without me but I really hope one day I am as happy as him

    Keep goin your little one will know just how strong you are and as much as we get the hard part we wouldn't want to be part time parents like them
     
  7. Dovekie

    Dovekie Well-Known Member

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    I know what you mean. I'm not sure I can trust someone else now. He blindsided me. I have a lot of memories of being together that are so fresh in my mind. I can't believe he gave up.

    Same here, I think I stuck around because of the pregnancy. It's only natural I suppose. I had all of these hormones floating around and he didn't. I was disposable to him, even though I was carrying his baby.

    My baby's smiles definitely gets me through the day. As difficult as it is, I couldn't be the once a fortnight parent.

    I just heard this today and thought you might appreciate the lyrics too :)
    https://youtu.be/p4QqMKe3rwY
     
  8. Luciec

    Luciec Well-Known Member

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    It's crazy he sees his children if he bothers only twice a month and he books a holiday missing one of the days I couldn't do that and he says that makes me pathetic
    I couldn't imagine going on a holiday and not sharing the memories with my kids and financially right now I am not able to afford one but when I can I can't wait to take them

    I think that's what's so hard to take that they could just drop us like we meant nothing and we grieve and struggle and miss them but I hope one day we have had to go through all this too become stronger and wiser and we will be better people and they will always be the same people do that's my hope

    We have to be strong as leftvwith no choice and I think their actions make them weak men
     
  9. Luciec

    Luciec Well-Known Member

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    He's marry her in the Maldives next week it's taken him 9 months and they are getting married our baby is 6 months old and he's marrying another women
    I'm so heart broken again and I'm not sure why but this has hurt me a lot
    Hasn't told his kids either all his family going out to the wedding
    How can you marry a women who has never meet your children
     
    #209 Luciec, Sep 17, 2017
    Last edited: Sep 17, 2017
  10. Dovekie

    Dovekie Well-Known Member

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    That's shit. I'm so sorry. It's all happening very quickly. Were you married to him? Maybe she's just a rebound and he hasn't realised it yet? There's a big chance that it'll all come crashing down around him one day. I have a feeling this will only happen once you accept what's happened, move on and show him you're happier without him.

    I got a bit upset this weekend as my ex has been here. However, I also realised that it's more stressful when he's around than when it's just me and the baby!
     
  11. Luciec

    Luciec Well-Known Member

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    He hasn't even told me he's marrying her I found out he has no clue I know he couldn't even tell me or his kids
    We were together 15?yearscandvplanking our wedding which was meant to be this year but he's now marrying her rather than me

    In November we were the ones looking at our venue for a wedding can't believe he's marrying her I really can't but I will not let him know this bothers me at all I'm not even going to let him know thatvibknow
     
  12. Blueclass

    Blueclass Well-Known Member

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    Goodness i didnt think this could get worse. Im sorry youf feeling hurt all over again. How do you know this? I wouldnt have any contact wirh him at all you need to stop yourself from finding things out and if someone tries to tell you say you dont want to hear it. Its crazy his marrying her already. Thats just crazy.
     
  13. Luciec

    Luciec Well-Known Member

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    It's not just me then I know that maybe they have been together longer than the time he left but he was still engaged, sleeping with me and living with me 10 months ago and our baby is only still very young old getting married so quickly is weird sometimes I think it's just nevas I'm emotionally attached to the situation

    I just don't get how u get moved on and comit so quickly and how u could want to marry someone and not want your children to have even meet her

    I am glad I know as I'm sure he wanted to drop that bombshell in court to try and get to me that day so at least I can already have my head round it
    I have cried a lot to day and I hate that something like this still affects me
     
  14. Blueclass

    Blueclass Well-Known Member

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    Hi long time no speak... how are you doing x
     
  15. mrsmnk101

    mrsmnk101 Well-Known Member

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    Hey i just read through this whole post, utterly shocking! What a complete narcistic moron. Im so sorry for what youve had to deal with xx
     
  16. Donna88

    Donna88 Well-Known Member

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    So sorry he is still causing you problems, I hope you and your boys are all okay.

    If he is trying so hard to show you how happy he is and also still trying to rub things in your face, I could be wrong but to me that suggests he isn't happy. When I'm happy I want other people to be happy too.

    I know it doesn't seem like it but you will be happy without him, you've been through so much this past year, you haven't be allowed to move on like he has because you have had your children (and especially your baby boy) to worry about and to deal with whereas he has been able to pick them up and drop them as he pleases.

    Sending all my love - you will get through this and you are the better person. I'm just so so sorry you have had to deal with this
     
  17. Shanivy

    Shanivy Well-Known Member

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    Accidentally clicked the post and read it. Hope you're doing okay with your 3 babies. And also just to say you sound absolutely amazing xx
     
    #217 Shanivy, Jan 24, 2018
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2018
  18. miamia

    miamia Well-Known Member

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    When life closes a door ... God opens a window (Pamela Montilla) xx
     
    #218 miamia, Mar 25, 2018
    Last edited: Mar 25, 2018
  19. tinakakkar

    tinakakkar New Member

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  20. dansmith018f

    dansmith018f Member

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    Oh wow, this is honestly so heartbreaking, I can't say I relate, but I have been heartbroken before - it's horrible, let alone when you're pregnant!

    It may be hard to see the light, but in time, it'll get easier :(
     
    #220 dansmith018f, May 30, 2018
    Last edited: May 30, 2018

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