Why do i feel like this??

[3Beloved]

I have been with my partner 3.5 years nearly 4. I LOVE him very much and he is my world. But about 2 years before i got with him i was sleeping with this lad i really fancied. We wernt together as he was 5 years older than me and said he wasnt ready for a full on relationship but i wanted him. Anyways i decided i wasn't going to just be 'friend with benefits' and we never really spoke. Recently i have beem thinking about him a hell of a lot and i have met up with him as friends and to talk etc. But we ended up kissing and i stopped as soon as i realised but i don't rally feel bad for it as i feel i want both of them. But i am getting married next year and i want to get married. I'm so confused cos thisother lad makes me feel something my partner doesnt but i love my partner but this lad.

Sorry to rant.

 

[Jayjay027]

You need to have a long hard think about why you even met up with this guy let alone kissed him, and why kissing him didn't make u feel bad!
I wouldn't randomly meet up with an ex of mine, and if I kissed anyone else I'd be riddled with guilt!
How would you feel if ur partner met up with and kissed one of his ex's?
If the answer is 'not bothered' u need to re-evaluate ur relationship.

At the end of the day, you need to make a choice, this other lad or you partner - because you can't have them both!

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[Simoneh00]

^wss
You need to decide what you want. If you want the other lad or your OH. Especially since you're ttc xx

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[netty]

Why are u ttc? U must decide dont bring a child into this its madness!?

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[netty]

If i am honest it offends me to see you actively try for a child when you have cheated on ur fella....it takes the piss out of everyone in ttc im sorry im just being truthful.

If i were you i would forget this other guy and marry ur man. Be a grown up about it love ttc is a big decision as is getting married. If you have doubts dont do either

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[CARNAT22]

I have to agree - TTC whilst being tempted to cheat on your partner is not a good idea.

Don't marry the poor guy unless you are 100% sure you can committ to him

If not move on and let him move on BUT for God sake don't bring a poor kiddie into this mess!

xxxxxxxxx

 

[jules84]

First of all you are soo not ready to be a mum. You are willing to destroy your babies family before its even here. If I were you TTC would be on hold until I was sure where I wanted to be and who I wanted to be with. It is not fair on your current oh thinking hes met the love of his life and is getting married and starting a family, to say you dont feel guilty, frankly you dont deserve your oh , he could do better, let him go and give him a chance.

 

[SeonaidMac]

Sorry but I agree with what everyone has said especially Lynette xx

 

[Amber8]

I also totally agree, no disrespect but I think you are maybe too young to get married & have a child if u are meeting up with ex's. I wud never arrange to meet an ex & I certainly wud never kiss them or anyone else. Marriage & having a child is a massive decision & shouldn't be done lightly. U must tell your oh wat has happened & if he is prepared to forgive u then fine but I think the ttc shud be put on hold.

Sorry if any of this offends u it is not my intention, but I am like Lynette & find it offensive u are ttc in this situation.

 

[titch]

I have been with my partner 3.5 years nearly 4. I LOVE him very much and he is my world. But about 2 years before i got with him i was sleeping with this lad i really fancied. We wernt together as he was 5 years older than me and said he wasnt ready for a full on relationship but i wanted him. Anyways i decided i wasn't going to just be 'friend with benefits' and we never really spoke. Recently i have beem thinking about him a hell of a lot and i have met up with him as friends and to talk etc. But we ended up kissing and i stopped as soon as i realised but i don't rally feel bad for it as i feel i want both of them. But i am getting married next year and i want to get married. I'm so confused cos thisother lad makes me feel something my partner doesnt but i love my partner but this lad.

Sorry to rant.

be really honest with yourself and try to work out why you want to get married. I noticed you did say "I want to marry my OH" but just that you want to get married. Is it about wanting to be a mrs, wanting a wedding, wanting a family unit? make sure its the person you want to marry not anything else. to be honest, if youre not 100% on the idea of being with your OH only for the rest of your life then its likely your marriage wont make you feel as fulfilled as you think it would.

 

[PeaPod]

I have been with my partner 3.5 years nearly 4. I LOVE him very much and he is my world. But about 2 years before i got with him i was sleeping with this lad i really fancied. We wernt together as he was 5 years older than me and said he wasnt ready for a full on relationship but i wanted him. Anyways i decided i wasn't going to just be 'friend with benefits' and we never really spoke. Recently i have beem thinking about him a hell of a lot and i have met up with him as friends and to talk etc. But we ended up kissing and i stopped as soon as i realised but i don't rally feel bad for it as i feel i want both of them. But i am getting married next year and i want to get married. I'm so confused cos thisother lad makes me feel something my partner doesnt but i love my partner but this lad.

Sorry to rant.

Although I fully agree with what everyone else had said I do have another issue.... is this ex of yours even available - you said that he didn't want a serious relationship, what 6 years ago now, but has this changed or are you willing to potential throw away a happy future with your OH for a fling with a guy, who to be honest, could just want you because he can.

When you are in a long term relationship (me and my hubby were together 9 years before we got married last year) you don't always have to feel that 'phwoar' or 'wow' feeling every time your together. I know in my heart that I will always love my hubby but its the moments when I feel like im falling head over heels in love with him all over again that have made us work.

Could it be that the stress of a wedding and TTC has taken its toll and you are looking for excitement somewhere else? You are about to make 2 life changing steps and if you are not 100% certain in those steps you need to make a decision.(you should probably give TTC a break until you are happy in your head and heart what you want).

You can't have both of them and if you try to you will mess up so many lives, including your own. Is that what you really want?

 

[jules84]

I wonder will the OP return and let us know her choice, I'm intrigued xx

 

[netty]

I believe she is too busy ordering Taking Charge Of Your Fertility.

I think you should come clean to your oh if you have kissed someone, its unfair to carry on this way to him and this child you are TTC. Why live a lie?

 

[Topsy]

Hi hun
3 years is a long time to still be having feelings for someone else. I really think you need to think long and hard about what you want. If I ever cheated on my OH I would be riddled with guilt, the fact your not makes me think maybe your not IN love with your OH. Don't get me wrong I personally think its normally to find other ppl attractive but why would you ever want to kiss another man and lie to your poor OH. I believe that the truth always comes out in the end so I would really consider coming clean with him, what if he were to find out after your married or even worse while you were pregnant or with a young baby. Put the ttc on hold as it not always an easy ride you really need to be in a strong secure relationship. Good luck

Xxx

 

[3Beloved]

Thanks for the honesty guys!!

I have sat and thought about it...I KNOW i LOVE my partner and i would be disgusted if he cheated on me. I am going to stick with him as i do want him and i do want to marry him. I think because i've been through quite a lot these past few months and my OHs mother has been a total BITCH to me it kinda pushed me away from him. But i've sat down and realised his mother is not in our relationship and i just need to forget her.

I havnt spoke to this lad for ages now and i ahve deleted all links with him.

 

[kirstymichelle]

Oh dear , you cant be actively TTC and cheating! or even thinking about cheating!

I know that you are TTC because you have been told it is now or never, but this is not fair on your OH!

 

[kirstymichelle]

Thanks for the honesty guys!!

I have sat and thought about it...I KNOW i LOVE my partner and i would be disgusted if he cheated on me. I am going to stick with him as i do want him and i do want to marry him. I think because i've been through quite a lot these past few months and my OHs mother has been a total BITCH to me it kinda pushed me away from him. But i've sat down and realised his mother is not in our relationship and i just need to forget her.

I havnt spoke to this lad for ages now and i ahve deleted all links with him.

Ooops we posted at the same time. x

 

[tabbi]

good on you hun at least you have worked out what you want before it was too late x

 

[3Beloved]

I just needed to talk.. I didnt even really fancy the other fella i do feel REALLY stupid and pathetic. I've told my partner that i kissed him and he was very upset but he kind of understands why and that. So i'm making it up to him with lots of buying and special nights etc..

 

[tabbi]

as long as he knows you love him and it will never happen again he will always love you back hun glad you told him the truth ad it when well x