i feel cheated

[pixie17]

my OH and i have just had a massive argument. i am 6 months pregnant with our first child. it wasnt totally planned but i always made it clear to my OH that if i ever had one child i would want to have at least two (we have been together 6 years, married for 1). i mentioned today about 'when we have another one' and he said he didnt know if he wanted a second one. I was gobsmacked. he always said he wanted children but never said he only wanted one. yet he never thought to bring this up whenever i mentioned how many i wanted. i was furious but he cannot see my issue. i feel cheated and trapped. like, well now we have one we dont need another. did he not ever think of discussing this with me before??! its made me start thinking about other things, like, do i really want to be with him....

 

[Geminiblue]

huni please dont take this the wrong way.... just deal with this one hey... take a day at a time, Enjoy what you are going through and enjoy having this baby, THEN take it from there. You dont know what is going to happen in the future give him a break he is probably a bit scared too you dont even have this one here yet and you want to talk about another?!?!?!? Now my OH is a brilliant dadand very laid back but seriously think he would have had a fit if Id have started talking about another child during the pregnancy of my first. Its just all unsettling for you but remember hormones do funny things. Take care xxx

 

[BevG]

my oh said something similar. men dont like to plan too far ahead, they like to deal with the things at hand first and he probably wants to see how much he enjoys being a dad first before saying he wants another, he didnt say he dosent want another, just that hes not sure. shelve the discussion til you LO is about 1 ish lol

 

[Froslass]

I agree with what the other ladies said, concentrate on this LO just now, for men it's totally different. My OH said the same thing, he didn't want anther one, but now our LO is here, and he can see her as an actual wee person, he is smitten and is much more open to the idea of more in the future.

It probably doesn't seem real for him yet, if it's his first too, he probably doesn't know what to expect and the idea of one can be frightening enough never mind talking about more if you know what I mean? Xx

 

[isobel84]

My oh said the same when I was pregnant and unfortunately he's still saying it now. It's absolutly breaking my heart but I'm trying to think I have to be so greatful for what I've got. I'm dying for another one n hope he will change his mind, I don't tho.k he will tho

 

[Rayoflight]

Mine is the same too. Adamant we're not having another. Give it s few years when he's forgotten how tough it is!

 

[misscrazycooki]

After my first me and james said no more as my birth was hell. But here I am pregnant again looking forward to the next little bundle of joy x

Just enjoy this pregnancy and see how things pan out. You may not even stay together if the problem gets between you. Relax and look forward to meeting your little baby x

 

[nikki8092]

I think all men say this... they definately live for the here and now, we talked about having 2 but never set a date but number 2 came sooner than expected and he was adamant that we were to have no more... well a couple of weeks after getting married i found out i was pregnant despite just having coming off the injection onto the pill. seems like fate had other ideas and was all in my favour as i had always said i wanted 3 xx

 

[meggymum]

hey hun

dont worry i am sure that once you have you LO in your arms he will be so amazed that he will want to do it all again! but for now just enjoy being pregnant and dont worry about the future. you have to look after yourself and bump, remember stress can affect the baby so you need to concentrate on being as calm as possible.

xx

 

[Berryripe]

i thut i was the only one with this problem. OH has adamantly refused to even think about having a second baby, granted i am still 7 months with first but i was just chatting with a friend and went like " the second one ........." after the call he calmly said. " which second one? we are gonna have one child" i didnt give it much thought though, he was in a crappy mood that day. i want 2 kids and i AM getting them. lol

 

[Sam's Mum]

After Toby was born my OH said that we weren't having any more, even though he knew I desperately wanted another (although I knew I was so lucky to have the little family I had). After Toby's first birthday when he was still saying no I said that I'd stop talking about it and that I was happy as we were and he was the one who then said he'd quite like another.. so you never know - I thought he'd never change his mind and wasn't going to try and change it for him but men are unpredictable x