Tried - failed. Tried again - achieved!

[Melly+2]

I left with only basic qualifications, that doesn't mean you can't make something of yourself. No one is saying it won't be hard but bleedin hell its not the end of the world either

You and me are in the same boat, but were fab parents

life is what you make it in my eyes

Yep i agree, my life is quite fantastic atm too

I went back to uni after I had Tia. But it was a long and difficult road to do it.. and it cost loads of money in terms of child care costs, travel, books.. and then theres the work load... when your a mum and at college you have to work 10x harder than normal students. Doesn't matter what age you are... burning the midnight oil to get a piece of coursework in or study for exams, isn't the same with a crying infant that needs constant stimulation and supervision. But I did it because I wanted to make something of myself and make my daughter proud of me.

But if I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't have had Tia before I got my education because its hard.

And to all of us who had our babies young... can you honestly say despite loving your children with all your heart, knowing that you are great parents, and never ever wanting the change things in the world... that there are not reasons you would not have waited just a little bit longer to have them. To secure a home, a relationship, money and a job?

At the end of the day, I raised my daughter with my own two hands... i didn't rely on anyone to help me, for a long time it was just me and Tia... I went without food so I could pay the rent or the electric bill... it was a struggle but I am proud of what I have achieved. But I wish I'd lived with my ex beforehand... knew what he was really like before I brought a child into the world with him. Anyone whos had their child sob on their shoulder because daddy forgot their birthday again will know the heartache I feel at that mistake....

I wish I had gotten my education out the way too, and I wish that I didn't have to live in a grotty council estate for two years. But then that's just me. And I did get myself out of it... but it wasn't fun nor easy and if I could spare just one more mum or baby from having to go through all that, from sharing my experiences I would.

Now i wouldnt have changed her for the world and tbh i wouldnt change anything, it wasnt falling pregnant that made me miss my chance of a decent education, it was me being stupid and giving it all up just because i wanted to spend all my time with my ex, grrrrr. Im ok for the minute, my jobs not bad, work in a pub 4 nights a week sometimes more, Gals a full time electritian, sp sorry, and we rake in about £500 a week and we are fine, we live on a nice road, a few of them are council owned but most are either private rented or owned, like i say though we pay for all the bills and things like that without support from our families, it was so hard at first but now im loving my life, i love the fact that im responisble for this little lady, i dont feel ive missed out on my freedom because to be honest i want that much of one for going out
I still go to see my friends, the good thing is most of them have babies, they are older then me but i know that i have people all around me that understand how hard things can be and if i need they they are there, all in all im happy with my life atm, if i have to wait till hopes at school to get my education then thats fine, it will happen eventually

 

[Melly+2]

we pay for all the bills and things like that without support from our families, it was so hard at first but now im loving my life, i love the fact that im responisble for this little lady

How would you feel though if you had to rely on your family for everything though? Would you have planned to have your LO knowing that you needed to have your parents take care of you and your child financially?

As you say you love the fact that you are responsible for your little lady... just like me.. I love that... makes me feel dead proud that I am responsible for my little girl and everything that she is... but what if you had to rely on your mum and dad... ??? How would you feel living under their roof?

Oh and the reason I never went to uni when I could was because one of my ex's didn't like me going to college without him (very controlling man) so nothing to do with having a baby either ... although having had a baby and gone back to college/uni I have the ability to say it's not the easiest thing in the world and something that would be much better to do without having little ones... or waiting till they are at school.

If i was living with my parents then id say no, and relying on them id say no, its not for them to fund me and my child, its not fair at all, i totally agree with that. I bet its mega hard doing it all when you have a bubs, youve done really well for yourself

 

[abcd1234]

congratulations! Your babies wanted and will be loved, and if you have supportive parents then good for you!
Can i just ask what you and your Bf intend to do about education or training? i only ask cos its soemthing thats bugging me about my OH (he has absolutley no qualifications at all) so i dont know how he would ever make enough money to really support us, and i know it'll be a while before i'm making enough money as i intend to finish my degree then do teacher training.
Hope everythings going well
Clare x

 

[mummykay]

and ur mums ok with supporting u and ur baby?????

 

[HappyAlice]

Good Luck for the future LoopyKid. It'll be hard work but I'm sure you'll be fine.

 

[Tillytots]

I managed to get a £20k a year job as a Senior Finance Clerk with no real good qualifications so it can be done. I was just determined

 

[zebrastripes]

NR

 

[poppy160]

Wow, Zebrastripes! You talk alot of sense for somebody so young...after reading that I can relate to some of the things you say.
Congratulations on the pregnancy, Loopykid, I hope you have a happy and healthy 9 months.
I do have to agree with Zebrastripes and the others who have said having a baby so young is maybe not the right thing to do at your age. Like you, (And I've said this in another post recently aswell) I have felt very maternal since I was about 12/13 years old, and always planned on being a Mother at a young age. Getting a job in Childcare at 16 only spurred me on and maybe the fact that your sisters have young children has had the same effect on you aswell. I don't know about you but what I certainly didn't realise was that the babies I was looking after weren't as cute and cuddly all the time and I got to give them back at the end of the day. Evenings and weekends I could still go out with my friends and have a laugh without a care in the world, and what's more, I was getting paid for it.
Even though I waited until now (Age 20) and made sure I was in a secure relationship (and made sure it was what he wanted aswell), had a roof over our heads, a decent paying job where I earned full Maternity Pay, I'm terrified at the thought that in a few months I am going to be responsible for a tiny human being who is going to be relying on me for everything, and that maybe I gave up my youth too early as all my friends are out partying and socializing, at University or getting far in their jobs.
However, I am lucky enough to have a few friends who haven't forgotten about me just because I'm pregnant, I can still go out (that's if I'm not too tired), and who's to say I can't go to Uni or get a well paid job once my child is older? As sweetcheeks24 said, life is what you make it..and at the end of the day, if all I have to show for my life is a beautiful, happy, healthy daughter then that's good enough for me, because I will have done that myself..
But getting pregnant without a second thought is, in my opinion, careless. What about your parents? I'll bet they thought their days of screaming babies and the cost of raising a child were behind them. On top of that they are going to have to support you through pregnancy and labour..if you are planning on moving out with your boyfriend then, as said before, £170 isn't going to get you far. Our income at the moment is about £2000 a month and we're just able to live comfortably. No doubt this will change once our baby comes along.
I really admire young women who have unexpectedly found themselves pregnant and have worked so hard to raise their child/children, and although young women..girls even who just decide to get pregnant without the means to support the child work hard aswell, it's unfair that they should bring that child into this world because it's what they want..sod the fact that others are going to be the ones paying for it.

 

[Princess_Puddles]

I got pregnant by accident at 16 and if I'm honest I didn't think about anything in depth I just knew I didn't want to abort my child. Its been the hardest 2 years of my life and I wouldn't wish it on any 16 year old. I was still living at home, in the process of doing my GCSE's and had a part time job at Argos which wasn't bringing in a tremendous amount of money but I was very fortunate as my OH had/has a very good job. I didn't end up getting any good grades from my GCSE's and stuck it out at Argos, got extra hours which helped towards our income. You will not be able to live off £170 a month with a baby, I'm sorry but even if you're still living under your parents roof with that amount of money it will take you a very long time to save up for the priority items your child will need for their first year! I think you should sort your financial situation out before you decide to have a child, & you dont always need good grades to get a good job, Im now working full time in an office on a good wage! So it can happen.

Some people don't realize how much a child costs or how much your life will change, you have many years to have children hun, you're only young once! Dont get me wrong I still manage to go out with my friends and have a laugh but its not the same as it used to be, I have someone else to think about now, I wouldnt change him for the world but Ive had to grow up alot. Dont think these girls are having ago at you hun, we are here to support you but we only care and want you to make the right choice in life!

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

i fell pregnant by accident at 17 and i am sorry to say this but if u planned a baby at 16 i think ur incredible immature i love my son to peices and do anything for him but u need to be able to support urself before a child and u obv cant

 

[loopykid]

First of all, my boyfriend has an interview with Mercedes Benz. The wage is around £15,000 a year. He has done 2 years at college doing enginering and paint and body work. He has qualifications in both.
My sister has a 2 year old son and has offered me a pram, car seat, crib and cot.
My boyfriends parents are over the moon about it. This will be their first grandchild. They want to buy clothes and other things for the baby too.
We will NOT be scrounging off the council either. We can do better than that. We will earn our own money that we will use to buy our own home/flat. So don't worry, i'm not using all your hard earned money.
As for qualifications, i have 10 GCSE's in A-C grades and am studying as levels now in biology, chemistry and geography. I'm finishing this year, taking a year off then going back to do my A2 levels the year after.
My sister has offered to look after the baby if i want to go back to college, as she is at home with her children anyway.
My boyfriend is 18 as of tomorow. He hopefully will get this job and then i can prove people wrong. I will be 17 in a few months as well, so im not that young.
Thanks for the support that people have given me so far, it is appriciated.
Loopykid

 

[libs]

It's great that you have all these plans - if you look back over most the comments - you will notice that what people are actually saying is that you should have put them into action before getting pregnant - if this will all be possible in 6 - 12 months could you not have waited, got the job and the house/flat and then done it? Most of the comments don't mention scrounging off the state etc.

15k probably sounds a lot of money right now - and I want to move to where you live if you can buy a house or flat for £45k

Its the realism of the situation that people are trying to get to you - thats all. I have no doubt you are capable of great things - what people don't understand is why then you would make life 100x more difficult for yourself - most replies on here (including mine) are from people who were teen mums - we're not doom mongering - we're telling you honestly how difficult you may find the years ahead - I hope you will be fine

 

[Krystal]

Hiya Loopykid..

glad you seem to have a plan for getting yourself into a better position, will be hard work but sounds like you have good supportive family around you. I hope it all works out well for you! Keep us updated

 

[mummykay]

good luck to ur BF for his interview, I hope it works out for you

 

[sarahpurple]

15k won't get you far these days

 

[Slinky Sarah]

good luck loopykid....hope your OH gets this job and good luck for your A levels...i too did chemistry and geography A levels

 

[meg_bellamy]

Hi hun,

There has been some great advice in this thread, I hope you're taking in everyone's advice and thinking hard about what lies ahead. You are very young (I'm 22 and I thought that was young to be considering having a baby ) and I don't think it is wise or very mature to plan for a baby with your allowance being the means for covering expenses.

I wish you and your bf the very best of luck with finding jobs and your own place- you're taking on a big responsibility and I don't think it's fair to expect your friends/family to financially support you through something you chose and planned yourself.

Anyway, congrats on your pregnancy, and making plans for the future. Best wishes for your bf's interview- hope all goes well!

P.S. Zebrastripes if I didn't know how old you were I would guess 20's or 30's judging by your maturity level! You give some very good advice!

Meg xx

 

[zebrastripes]

First of all, my boyfriend has an interview with Mercedes Benz. The wage is around £15,000 a year. He has done 2 years at college doing enginering and paint and body work. He has qualifications in both.
My sister has a 2 year old son and has offered me a pram, car seat, crib and cot.
My boyfriends parents are over the moon about it. This will be their first grandchild. They want to buy clothes and other things for the baby too.
We will NOT be scrounging off the council either. We can do better than that. We will earn our own money that we will use to buy our own home/flat. So don't worry, i'm not using all your hard earned money.
As for qualifications, i have 10 GCSE's in A-C grades and am studying as levels now in biology, chemistry and geography. I'm finishing this year, taking a year off then going back to do my A2 levels the year after.
My sister has offered to look after the baby if i want to go back to college, as she is at home with her children anyway.
My boyfriend is 18 as of tomorow. He hopefully will get this job and then i can prove people wrong. I will be 17 in a few months as well, so im not that young.
Thanks for the support that people have given me so far, it is appriciated.
Loopykid

Libs is right,we aren't having a go at you,we're just saying maybe you should have waited until you'd finished school and until you were SURE your bf is going to actually going to get a job

But anyway,best of luck with your pregnancy.I'm doing AS levels in Geography too (and English and History) Good luck with doing exams while pregnant because take it from me it's an absolute killer,but it can be done. Are you still at school or doing them at tech?

 

[Red_Fairy]

15k won't get you far these days

well thats more then my OH gets. We get by just fine thanks.

 

[marge]

First of all, my boyfriend has an interview with Mercedes Benz. The wage is around £15,000 a year. He has done 2 years at college doing enginering and paint and body work. He has qualifications in both.
My sister has a 2 year old son and has offered me a pram, car seat, crib and cot.
My boyfriends parents are over the moon about it. This will be their first grandchild. They want to buy clothes and other things for the baby too.
We will NOT be scrounging off the council either. We can do better than that. We will earn our own money that we will use to buy our own home/flat. So don't worry, i'm not using all your hard earned money.
As for qualifications, i have 10 GCSE's in A-C grades and am studying as levels now in biology, chemistry and geography. I'm finishing this year, taking a year off then going back to do my A2 levels the year after.
My sister has offered to look after the baby if i want to go back to college, as she is at home with her children anyway.
My boyfriend is 18 as of tomorow. He hopefully will get this job and then i can prove people wrong. I will be 17 in a few months as well, so im not that young.
Thanks for the support that people have given me so far, it is appriciated.
Loopykid

Congratulations on your pregnancy and also on getting great GCSE results!

I'm not going to add any other comments as I think everyone else has said enough but good luck with the future and I hope everything works out for you