Tried - failed. Tried again - achieved!

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by loopykid, Jan 11, 2008.

  1. loopykid

    loopykid Member

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    I'm pregnant! Took a test today, and got two lines showing up :cheer: next step... telling my parents! I'm not sure how to do it though. I'm not the best at explaining things well. Any advice on what i can say to them? Cheers.
    Loopykid
     
  2. Krystal

    Krystal Well-Known Member

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    Hi :wave:

    Congrats on your pregnancy :hug:

    Did your parents know you were trying? How old are you?

    Sure they'll be understanding though :D
     
  3. loopykid

    loopykid Member

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    Thanks, and no they didnt know we were trying.
    I'm 16, nearly 17.
    My boyfriends mum knows about it, and is fine about it.
    I don't think i have to worry about telling them, i just don't want it to be like "yes lovely dinner, oh and by the way mum im pregnant. Whats for afters?" I dont no how to word things to make them sound the best way.
    Loopykid
     
  4. Krystal

    Krystal Well-Known Member

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    :lol: lol

    erm I'm not sure, I dont think there is a right way of telling them. When I was pregnant with Jack I'd only met OH parents a few times, we went in and sat down and he said in the middle of conversation .. oh yeh.. were having a baby :shock:

    Sorry my advice is shit lol.. good luck with it.. i'm sure your gonna be fine :hug:
     
  5. trixipaws

    trixipaws Well-Known Member

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    congratulations!

    i was 25 when i got pregnant and i didnt tell my parents for 4 days, even then i made my boyf fone my mum i couldnt tell her myself! idk how i wouldve told them 10 years ago i'd be sh*tting myself! lol. good luck :hug:
     
  6. zebrastripes

    zebrastripes Well-Known Member

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    Well,congratulations on your pregnancy,hope you've realised what you're letting yourself in for-time to grow a very thick skin indeed :lol:
     
  7. Slinky Sarah

    Slinky Sarah Well-Known Member

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    congratulations hun hope everything goes well for you and your boyfriend.
    Just tell your mum out right...thats what i did with mine. She was asking when i was gonna book for an injection and i just said i cant, im 7 weeks pregnant lol.
    You will know when the time is right to say but im sure if you and your boyfriend are serious which im sure oyu both are then im sure she will be fine :hug:
     
  8. mary70

    mary70 Well-Known Member

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    congratulations just hope u do know what you are doing hun and that you both have jobs, because babies dont come cheap :hug:
     
  9. sparky

    sparky Well-Known Member

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    agreed, and a roof for over its head, and a steady committed loving relationship, although as you said it was planned for i'm sure you would of thought of all of this.

    congratulations
     
  10. loopykid

    loopykid Member

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    My mum took it worse than i thought at first, but is now ok with it. She doesnt think its the greatest idea in the world, but i didnt think she would.
    I'm going to be living with my mum still, just until i can move into a flat or somewere. As for money, it shouldn't be an issue. I've saved since i was...... about 9 lol. And i get £50 a month at the moment from my parents. My boyfriend gets £30 a week EMA. Hes getting a job soon as.
    Things could be better, but i'm sure things will work.
    I know it will be extremly difficult, but having a baby at any age and time is extremely difficult.
    Loopykid
     
  11. libs

    libs Well-Known Member

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    so that would be a no to Sparky and Mary's question then?

    It can be difficult at any age, but its easier when you have more than £170 a month income and somewhere to live. If I was your mother I wouldn't be v happy with the idea that you planned to have a child without finding a job and somewhere to live that didn't rely on me first


    I hope it all works out for you
     
  12. zebrastripes

    zebrastripes Well-Known Member

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    :wall: :wall: :wall: :wall: :wall:

    basically what libs said
     
  13. MissSara

    MissSara Well-Known Member

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    Well i will say congrats on your pregnancy as it is what yo wanted and planned for but i will also say that you will not managed to survive on £170 a month and how long do you expect your parents to give you £50 every month.
    Why would you plan a baby in these conditions???? I was pregnant at 16 but i think the difference is you planned this little life being selfish and immature and not thinking of what having a baby really means.

    I wish you the best of luck.
     
  14. Krystal

    Krystal Well-Known Member

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    to be fair girls.. although I agree with what you are saying.. this girl did not come online asking for your judgement or opinions on her situation. she came on asking for advice on breaking the news to her parents so maybe remember that before having a go. You can think what you like about her situation but unless she actually asks you for your opinion you'd do well to keep it to yourself. It's a support forum afterall! :shakehead:
     
  15. Sammystar

    Sammystar Well-Known Member

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    :shock:

    So you have a grand total of £170 per month, with which to feed, clothe, support THREE people, and you think money won't be an issue????? :think: :think: :think:

    That money might just about keep you in nappies and baby wipes, but what about you and your BF??
    How are you going to support yourselves?

    I hope your mum is generous. Good luck with the pregnancy hun.
     
  16. libs

    libs Well-Known Member

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    no - if you post on a forum you get everyone's opinion - you are in effect asking for it by posting - if you don't want it don't post - no one has been abusive - simply stated facts. It can't be any surprise to loopykid - her thread further down has lots of members advising her of all the similar things before she got pregnant.
     
  17. Krystal

    Krystal Well-Known Member

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    Totally disagree, she wasn't asking you for your opinion on teenage planned pregnancy and just because she is posting for support on a forum does not entitle you to give it to her. Afterall there is a thread where you can make your feelings known elsewhere on the forum regarding planned teen pregnancy's. And if like you say other people have previously made their opinions known to Loopykid prior to falling pregnant what do you hope to achieve by repeating it now she is having a baby.

    Like I said, I have my own thoughts regarding this issue but this isn't the place to discuss them or put them onto someone who doesn't really care about them.

    Sure we'll agree to disagree anyway :wink:
     
  18. loopykid

    loopykid Member

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    The money we get would be going on the baby only, and not supporting me and my boyfriend. Our parents still pay for our things ie food, clothes etc. I know at the moment its not the best money possible, but it will get better, once we have proper jobs.
    Things like a cot, pushchair, car seat, nd a few clothes i can get from my sisters as they both have young kids. My brothers wife is just about to have a baby as well, and said she will pass things on as her baby grows out of things.
    Yeah things could be better, but they could also be alot worse. I think to the positive side. Thinking negative gets you no were.
    Loopykid
     
  19. Sammystar

    Sammystar Well-Known Member

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    Well you will need lots of help so it's good you've got family around for support.
    Hope it all goes well for you :hug:
     
  20. mayday

    mayday Well-Known Member

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    I'm really sorry, and I know there will be people out there who will disagree, but think loopykid has made the horrendously wrong decision of her life here - 16 years old and getting pregnant deliberately? Here's my point of view. (And I don't care if noone asked for it!)

    At 16, boyfriend 17, you are relying on money that your parents will give you and from your boyfriend's as yet non-existant job. At 17 he is not likely to be qualified in anything at all that will provide a decent salary - minimum wage for a 17 year old is £3.60 an hour, that's just under £7000 a year for a 40 hour week. Your parents are almost certainly giving you your £50 a month because you are 16 years old. When I was that age it was called pocket money. My parents stopped paying me it when I went to university, as they were expecting me to be able to eventually make my own way in the world. I got a small grant (showing my age!), I worked, I got a loan and an overdraft. I paid off the loan and overdraft when I got a job straight after university. I can't imagine your parents will be thrilled to be not only paying for you, but a baby they had not anticipated too.

    I imagine you will find yourself short of cash, which means you will almost certainly throw yourself on the mercy of the taxpayer, asking for accomodation and financial support. It is a totally different matter asking for government handouts and a council house when you are a mature person who has tried to make their own way and for various reasons had to apply for benefits. You, on the other hand, have not made any effort to complete a decent education or to equip yourself financially for the adventure you have embarked on. You will get money from the government for it which I, and everyone else who has ever worked, will have paid for - you will be taking money we have earned for our babies in order to pay for yours, as the tax rate goes up when the government has to pay out for more benefits and provide housing for those who can't pay for their own.

    Many people get pregnant by accident when they are younger than they would like to be. They generally get sympathy and support, and a very rapid education in how not to do things! Most people who plan to have a baby make sure they have a roof over their heads which is not dependent on the generosity of a third party, a job which will provide enough to live on and a good support network which includes friends and family. Think about it - a flat which costs £300 a month is £3600 a year - already more than half of your boyfriend's yet to be achieved salary. Council tax, phone and fuel bills will add another £1200 a year. Nappies will come in at about 10p a nappy - £250 a year. You will also have to feed yourselves, budget about £1400 a year if you are clever with food and shopping for it (That is less than £2 a day each for food, the price of a coffee in some cafes!) That is virtually all of your money gone, and you haven't yet paid for transport, clothing, TV licence, mobile phone, going out, insurance, pension, or any of the essential items at all that your baby will need, like a cot, pram, all the hundreds of little things that add up.

    Your boyfriend is 17 years old, and probably hasn't given too much thought to all of these variables, and that he will expected to be the breadwinner for a family. I hope for your's and your baby's sake that reality doesn't knock him for six, because it is so easy for men to back out of this situation, and many 17 year olds would and do. I can't imagine that you have been together long enough to really know what each other wants from life.

    If it sounds a little bit like I am lecturing a silly little girl, that's because I am. If I had had a child at your age I would be old enough to comfortably be a grandmother by now. Instead I am the very happy and proud mother of my first baby - she's 5 months old. Many 16 year olds DO have babies, and in having them grow up very fast. Very few 16 year olds who have had babies would recommend it to their friends. They love their babies to bits, but life is HARD for them, they rely on others for help and money, and would have welcomed the opportunity to have been a little older and planned to have had their baby.

    I wish you good luck, and sincerely hope that you don't take any more of my hard-earned tax than you have to - you didn't earn it, I did.
     

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