Please help

Anonymous

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Please help me someone, I've been with my bf now for around 2 and half years. I'm 21, he's 24 and I'm 22 weeks pregnant. When I got pregnant he was living with his friend and I was still with my parents but now he has moved in my parents with me to save up money but now we have been arguing so much whereas before we never hardly argued! But when we argue I cry uncontrollable where it turns into a panic attack when my chest goes really tight and then I get like cramps in my stomach and I know that's not good for the baby. Like we argued tonight because he is going on a weekend away a few weeks after baby will be born and was planning on buying a t shirt which has lyrics on it that basically say 'I'm single' and I asked him to please not buy this t shirt because it looks like he's single and he went mad started telling me to f..k off and everytime I tried talking telling me to shush and he doesn't want to talk to me and then I started with this uncontrollable crying fit again over a t shirt! I keep thinking now this is it and I'm going to end up a single mum and I know I can't do it because I do really love my bf and he is so lovely when we're not arguing but he just doesn't see how upset it's making me! Please someone give me some advice because I can't carry on like this it's not good for my baby..
 
Hey Hun!!

I've had some terrible arguments with oh whilst pregnant your hormones do go a bit crazy so don't feel like your going mad.

You are so right to be upset about oh going away after baby is just born... So don't feel like your blowing things out of proportion


Your OH shouldnt tell you to f off etc.
That is horrible , it's not your fault he has just lost control of his emotions

Breath! You will be fine after a good nights sleep! You need to go and have a hot milky drink and try and get to sleep, maybe put on a happy film
And fall asleep to it ?

Can you try and write a few things down what you are feeling?

You could then talk them through with oh when your calm.

Can you speak to your mum and dad?

Xxxx


 
Is there a friend you can speak with now ? X


 
Sorry to hear you're feeling so down hun :( I really hope things get better for you, sit down and talk to your OH calmly about and then you can sort things out together :hug: x
 
u need to learn to walk away if u are going to have a panic attack every time u have an argument.u are going to be a mother soon and your baby doesnt need to see mum acting that way.u need to find other coping mechanisms.if he is gonna buy a t shirt saying he is single find one that will make him uncomfy online show it to him and claim u are gonna buy it.see how he likes it.arguing isnt good for any of u.
if he does go away u have your parents there still and maybe it will give u time to miss each other.
,lots of couples find they have differences when they move in together its pretty normal.the key is working through it without to much drama.hope things work out for u both xx
 
I'm 19, my boyfriend is also 19. I can relate to you about the younger age, and arguing more once you move in with one another. We've been living together and TTC since december of 2011. We have our own place. It already feels like we're married, since were together everyday. Even though he works most of the day. You just have to adjust to living with eachother, and mesh them into your daily routine. It will get better with time. I have much respect for you though, because if I still lived with my dad I COULD NOT live with my family AND my boyfriend under one roof that would be way too much for me to handle. I can also relate on the panic attack thing, although I rarley ever cry. Tbh, your boyfriend sounds like a jerk.. Hopefully him going away for the weekend will help your relationship, even though he should be there for you and the newborn. Remember you are so emotional because you're pregnant, and you really shoulden't be engaging in these arguments with him because you're right its really not good for the baby for you to be upset and stressing like that. Let him know that, and also tell him that he's 24 years old he needs to act his age and not like a 16 year old little boy. He needs to change his priorities.
 

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