Struggling!

[ippa]

Hi, um I'm really struggling at the moment, Matthew was born on Sunday (30/01) at 35+2 and we are both still in hospital as I had an emergency c section after a ruptured placenta.
he is doing amazingly after being on oxygen to begin with and then having light therapy, he now has an infection in the umbilical cord but it is clearing up with antibiotics, also he finally breast fed today, only a little but it's a start!
And although everything is heading in the right direction with him, I myself am feeling so down, I am in my own room in the hospital (which i am loving) but I can hear the babies in the ward crying and it's making me cry thinking about my little man all alone in scbu! I'm dying to be able to have him with me and well take him home! I don't feel like a proper mum to him yet and it's killing me! Also I may be discharged before he is, and i don't known if I will be able to handle it! I really do not want to leave here without my baby!

How did you cope if you had a baby in scbu?
Please I would appreciate any help going!
XxX

 

[Esoames]

Hey didn't want to read and run, sorry no advice about scbu, but he is in the best place and once he is ready he'll be all yours. Keep strong xx

 

[Lacey's Mummy]

Sorry I haven't got any experience but hope you can take him home soon x x

 

[chels21]

I know what your feeling hun i went through it twice. both my children were prem babies and i stayed in a room by my self and got lonely with out my baby with me when everyone else did. I used to go see my babies alot but it was hard because both of mine were in a incibater and was not aloud to touch them. Am hoping its nothing like it with my 3rd baby 3rd time lucky i hope. I left the hospital after 3 days i just couldnt stay. I coundnt sleep with all the babies crying because it made me cry because i wasnt with my baby. It will be harder for you i didnt have a c section. xxx

 

[mumofmany]

Oh hun, its awful isn't it, at least they have put you in our own room, when i had my prem baby i was put in the ward with the other mums and their babies and i just had a photo by the empty cot. they did eventually put me in my own room. i found it very hard as my baby didnlt feel like mine and i struggled to bond with him as i never got to do anything for him.so i only used to visit the scbu about twice a day and then still felt in the way and that i was visiting someone else's child. It does sound like you are coping better than I did, and once the breastfeeding gets more and more i finally began to see him as mine. we actually only stayed in hospital for a week after he was born and once i got him home that helped too. dont punish yourself try and take advantage and get some well deserved rest while you can , as hard as it is i know. i really hope you will have him with you soon.

 

[Annie050408]

Hi hon,

I know EXACTLY how you feel- Ella was prem by a month ( - see my thread in this section 'my little premmie') and it was the worst thing I've ever been through to leave her in hospital for 9 days- I cried what felt like non-stop and didn't feel like a mum. Looking back though, I now realise that those feelings of intense almost physical gut wrenching pain at leaving her were my maternal instincts kicking in. While it feels like they will never be home, within a few days they will and this first week of being separated will soon feel like a long time ago. You're lucky to be in a private room- i was on a ward with mums and babies for 2 nights and i just sobbed behind the curtains to myself at night and then went round to scbu every 2 hours during the night as i couldn't sleep.

I hope he comes home soon. Xxx

 

[flexilexi394]

ahh honey that must be amazingly difficult, just remember hes in the best place possible and he will be with you very soon and in the healthiest way possible. your making progress! the breastfeeding is an amazing step! well done you. keep up the good work xx

 

[KellyHook]

I know how you feel, my daughter brooke was born at 33+4, and i have to agree, leaving them to go home when they are not ready is heartbreaking.. but i knew she was well looked after.. i had my own room to as i thought it would of been unfair to put me on the ward with all the other new mums and babies, when mine was in scbu.. brooke was in scbu for 2 and 1/2 weeks... i spent from 9am to 5pm with her everyday.. (i lost all my baby weight as i didnt hardly eat, as i wanted to be by her side the whole time i was there).. i had a arguement with MIL as she said that going full term, being uncomfortable and having to wait for baby to come is worse than having a prem baby (she lost her mind) she had no idea what i went through all the worry , the plan is to go into labour, give birth and go home, not leave your baby for someone else to look after them!! it is hard and very upsetting, but nothing we can do about it, before you know it your little man will be at home sooner than you think! x big hugs x

 

[ippa]

Thank you all so much, it's lovely to know that I'm not on my own in this!
I did have a bit of a cry over all your stories!
Matthew is now in transitional care, so he is now in my room with me but still under scbu so they just come out to me for his feeds etc now! I still think I will be discharged before him though, probably once I have just got used to being a full time mummy rather than just the part time one!
He has made amazing progress and just to think it should still be 4 weeks untill I meet him haha!
XxX

 

[chels21]

Arww thats great news he seems a strong little boy. When my baby was ready to come home i stayed in hospital for 3 days with my baby the nurses said it was to make sure i bonded with the baby before bringing the home as both mine wer in hospital for over a month so it was actually nice to do that it give me a idea of what it was going to like when i take my baby home. Maybe they might let you stay if they know he is making good progress because am sure it wont be to long till you take him home if he keeps up the good work. xxx

 

[beckibooxx]

Hey Ippa My daughter lily was born at 31 weeks due to me having an infection and weighed 3lb 11oz and was very tiny.. Was in hospital for just under a month.. Best thing you can do is just be strong and count down the days till hes home it wont be long! if he seems to be doing well and putting on weight he'll he out in no time! I now how difficult it is, i stayed in hospital for 4 days i hated every second of it but i only stayed so i could be close to her, and wheni left her it broke my heart.. id visit her twice a day till she came home it can be so heartbreaking but keep strong!!

 

[bobkat]

freddie was in scbu, not because he was premature (he was 9 days late) but due to a collapsed lung. i had my own room as well which was good but it was really hard not being with him the whole time although i spent as much time as i could with him - it was difficult though as i kept feeling faint after the birth.

just before he went home i was discharged but the scbu unit had a room me and my DH could stay in with him, kind of a halfway house, so we could get breastfeeding established - ask at the hospital, they may have something similar.

hope he's home with you soon xx

 

[amandapanda]

Awww bless you! I'm so glad he is doing so well, but my heart goes out to you for your feelings anyway! You've really made me think - I face the posibility of a premature birth by emergency c section due to my low lying placenta (which like yours, could rupture at any time) - I'm so scared of having a prem baby, just hope my placenta can hold out! xxx

 

[Squeakz]

hey hun im glad hes picking up! Josh was in scbu only for a night but was under their care for 5 days. It was horrible knowing that my baby got whipped away from me. He was born via emergency c section and taken straight away. i got to give him a kiss and that was it. I couldnt hold his hand or touch him or anything just a kiss and he was gone. No one told me what was happening etc and when i asked the MWs if he was ok she turned and said hes in the best place and everyone is doing their best. Probably the wors thing i ever heard. 5 hours after he was born, i was wheeled in to scbu and and allowed to look at him. nd they gave him a horrendous picture of him that i slept with. The day after he was brought out of scbu in the evening and although i loved him and everythign it was the strangest feeling i ever had.......just having this baby now in my room!! I know its difficult but if you have to go home first try and make the most of it as best as you can. Try and sleep as when hes home there is none of that!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know this sounds horrible of phil and i but he was rushed in to hospital at 3.5 weeks as he stopped breathing and after being up for 24 hours solid we had to go home and sleep. We were gonna be no help to him if we were physicllyt and emotionally exhusted .You just have to remind yourself, hes completely safe in hospital it truly is the best place for him and you can call up anytime, and if there is any fluctuation in his condition they will call you straight away!!!

Thinking of you hun and hope all is well!! ps sorry if this is a ramble! xxxxxxxxxx

 

[don-don]

hey ippa how is he doing now?? Ive only been home for two days, so good to be home, hospital drove me almost crazy!! Benjamin is now 4lb 6ozxxxx

 

[ippa]

He is now doing fantastically! It's great to finally take them home isnt it!
Matthew is now over 5lb so putting on weight well and feeding is now really good!
How is Benjamin?
XxX

 

[don-don]

hey,
Great to here it!! yes benjamin is getting better by the day, his feeding has totally improved, he seems to uderstand what to do with the bottle now!! as before when i was bottling and tube feeding it was a total nightmare to get him to take the bottle, but since he pulled his own tube out in hospital his feeding is improving by the day!! and hes gaining weight which is fab, just like matthew is!!! god yes it was so nice to get home, that bloody hospital was crap!! but the doctors, nurses in NICU were amazing!! how long have you been home for? and how long did you and matthew have to stay in hospital for?? This is my third day home and im loving it. When did your MW say you can take matthew out and about? also when did they say you can bath him? Benjamin was born two weeks ago todayxxxxxx

 

[ippa]

We have been home just over a week now, and the mw said I could take him out as soon as I felt up to it, so have been out for a couple of short walks, but I struggle a bit as it's gets pretty uncomfortable for me to walk.
Also I bathed him last night, he didn't like it much bless him!
Has your mw given you any different advice?
Great news that Benjamin is doing well!
XxX

 

[21gwen]

Hi,
I had my little boy at 36 +1 and am hopping that this little one stays in until at least 37, thankfully he didn't have to go into neo natel but after a week he was taken back in for 48hrs to go under the lights. That was the worst 2 days ever, having to leave your baby is horrible but the staff are fantastic. We were able to ring and visit whenever we wanted. hope all is well and update us all on your progress. take care xx

 

[ippa]

Well Matthew is now back in hospital for monitoring as he was having a few problems breathing again! They think it's just reflux but want to keep an eye on him!
He wasnt feeding well yesterday and then starte choking and going blue! Wasn't nice at all!
But last night he fed and so far blood tests, chest X-ray and urine tests are clear!
XxX