Scared :-(

Discussion in 'Coping with Miscarriage & Loss' started by Debida, Jul 26, 2013.

  1. Debida

    Debida Well-Known Member

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    Hi just been diagnosed with mmc yesterday. The baby passed at 9 1/2 weeks and I have decided to have the surgical option as I cannot cope with the thought of passing it naturally, it's already given me nightmares of what I would find. Called the hospital and they said I go in today to get paperwork done, but they won't operate over the weekend! I'm beside myself now as I'm so scared it will start to happen over next 3 days. I have been having the brown discharge daily since tues and surely this will turn into blood etc anytime. Just wondered if anyone had mmc and decided to let it happen naturally once the brown spotting stated how long it took to miscarry. Sorry if its difficult to talk about again and no one wants to, I understand xx
     
  2. Vickilou25

    Vickilou25 Well-Known Member

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    Hi Hun sorry for your loss!
    My mc was at 6 weeks 4 days i started spotting on the weds and actually passed 'baby' on the saturday evening it was no bigger than the clots that where passing. You will be fine hun its just like a really heavy period if it happens before monday xxx
     
  3. Cherrybelly

    Cherrybelly Well-Known Member

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    Hey hun, not sure if you remember but I was on first tri board with you and was diagnosed with mc on Wednesday. Decided to let nature take its course and I passed everything in the early hours of this morning. I didn't even look at what it was tbh I think it's best not knowing. It was incredibly painful but I'm glad the worst of it is over now and I can move on. Please try not to be scared, it's at times like this we realise just how strong we are! I hope we both meet back in tri 1 really soon, but in the mean time I'm here to chat whenever you need to xxxxx
     
  4. Debida

    Debida Well-Known Member

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    Yes, I remember Cherry, I did send u a private message, but not sure if I done it right and u got it? Thanks for what u have shared, I'm sorry we have both had to leave tri 1. Fingers crossed that well be back soon. Life is very cruel. I have now stared to bleed and hoping and praying it keeps put till Mon, but that seems unlikely now it's turned to bleeding? Take care of yourself and here too if u need to let off some steam! X
     
  5. Debida

    Debida Well-Known Member

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    Thanks Vickilou for your reply and sharing your experience. I'm sorry to hear of your loss and I hope that u are successful in the future. I will just have to be brave and hope its quick and fairly painless. X
     
  6. Lilmisshopeful

    Lilmisshopeful Well-Known Member

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    I'm so sorry for your loss. I had a scan on the Friday as was bleeding and was told baby had died. I had my erpc booked for the Monday and bled all weekend but baby didn't come out. I was 15 weeks. It might stay put fx for you it does. I also lost twins 2 years ago and I passed them naturally it was hard but the best advice I can give you is don't look at what comes out. Much love and hugs to you at this difficult time. Always here if you need to talk xxx
     
  7. Debida

    Debida Well-Known Member

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    Aah thanks for ur reply and support. I'm so sorry for ur losses too, very sad. It's a very cruel world! You have given me some hope that it may hold out fx! I just feel stupid like I'm being a big baby about it. They did offer me a procedure under local anaesthetic where the inject ur cervix to numb it, you have the tablets to soften it, you basically lie in one of the scanning chairs while the suck it out infront of u! I was like WTF!! Told them to poke that! Sounds very raw and barbaric! Apparently a lot of people do this as its quick, they can scan u there and then to make sure it's all gone and u can have gas and air! X
     
  8. Cherrybelly

    Cherrybelly Well-Known Member

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    Yes, I remember Cherry, I did send u a private message, but not sure if I done it right and u got it? Thanks for what u have shared, I'm sorry we have both had to leave tri 1. Fingers crossed that well be back soon. Life is very cruel. I have now stared to bleed and hoping and praying it keeps put till Mon, but that seems unlikely now it's turned to bleeding? Take care of yourself and here too if u need to let off some steam! X[/QUOTE]

    No I didn't get a private message unfortunately. It's hard to say how long it will take, i feel i was quite lucky it was quivk cos its kinda closure Xx
     
  9. laurat

    laurat Well-Known Member

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    Im sorry for your loss! Xxx
     
  10. Daley

    Daley Well-Known Member

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    Really sorry about your loss Hun x
     
  11. Beckyb1991

    Beckyb1991 Well-Known Member

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    So so sorry hun :( xxx
     
  12. Balthazar1275

    Balthazar1275 Well-Known Member

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    I had a MMC in July, which was my 3rd miscarriage. my baby stopped growing at 6 wks and we found out at 8 wks. I wanted to go down the natural route but after a further week of waiting my body still showed no signs of letting it go so went down the medical management route rather than surgery as I want to pass my baby at home in private. I am glad I did as I got to say a proper goodbye. It wasn't as bad pain wise as I thought and I wasn't freaked out by seeing my little bean.
    I hope your body gives you a beak and your bleeding doesn't get any worse. We are all here for you. Sending you lots of hugs

    Michelle x
     
  13. Debida

    Debida Well-Known Member

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    Thanks Michelle, I appreciate how u felt about wanting to do it at home and I would choose the same where that method would be concerned. Part of me feels that I wouldn't be too freaked out by seeing it as I would be able to say good bye, but the other part of me kind of thinks it makes it all real, it's gone and I've had to deal with it. Where the op way I'm not gonna know about it and I can move on and not dwell. Not sure what I'm actually trying to say here lol, bit confused how I feel. It's just something I wish I wasn't going thro again. So sad. I do tend to shut things out, we have had a stream of visitors and its been good, but I think that's so I haven't had to think about what's gone on. Prob bad thing! Xx
     
  14. Balthazar1275

    Balthazar1275 Well-Known Member

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    I understand it took me over 1 week to decide how I wanted to finally put and end to the pregnancy, in that week my symptoms got strong it was like my body was refusing to let the bean go but I decided it was best to go down the medical management route as it felt more natural rather than surgery. I am glad I did it that way and god for bid I was to miscarry again I would probably choose that option again.
    Life is just so cruel, nobody should have to endure the pain of a miscarriage or a loss of any child.

    Michelle x
     
  15. Lozzaste

    Lozzaste Well-Known Member

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    I haven't read all of the posts above - but yes I've been through it. Both of mine were 11+4 ish, and I know the last one died at 10 weeks so pretty similar. I passed both naturally. It isn't as bad as you imagine, but it isn't pleasant. I felt my body had let me down by not supporting the pregnancy (the last time) so I wanted to see what happened. I had already started bleeding, although only just because it was the day of my nuchal scan. The proper bleeding began that night and everything had passed by 48hrs later. It was bad but it was manageable. The first time was the same time wise - apart from I went to hospital and everything passed immediately in the loo. It wasnt that bad, although obviously it was horrific in terms of what I was going through, physically not so. In terms of looking, I never have, I flushed the loo the first time (got told off by the nurse for that, but I saw it as my time and I locked the door on her!) The second time, it wasn't painful exactly, just uncomfortable, and my husband did look and confirmed what I already knew.
    I know how horrible this is, but please know that things do get better, you will overcome this and the pain eases.
    If you ever want to message me, please feel free.
    Sending you lots of hugs xx
     
  16. Debida

    Debida Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for replying and sharing what u went through. It's good to know its not necessarily going to be as painful as I might think. It's now turning a bit clotty but no cramps, just like a period at the mo. I'm in bed now, so will see how the night goes and tomorrow. I had an erpc the first time and didn't get to the real bleeding stage which for me was good and found that easier to deal with, we shall just have to see how this pans out tomorrow. Thanks again for your support. Sorry for your losses too. Xx
     
  17. Debida

    Debida Well-Known Member

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    Well I made it to Monday for my erpc. All has gone well, had no bleeding at all on Mon morning it had stopped before I went in, strange. Who knows how long it would have dragged on for. Op went ok. Felt very sick and was in all day. I'm not in any pain where u would think and have hardly any bleeding! I do however feel as though I've been run over by a bus. I'm aching and stiff everywhere!! Thanks for all ur messages xx
     
  18. Daley

    Daley Well-Known Member

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    Glad everything went well. Rest and look after yourself, xxx
     
  19. Lilmisshopeful

    Lilmisshopeful Well-Known Member

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    Glad it all went well for you. Aching is because of the general anaesthetic you had. It will clear in a couple of days. Xxx
     
  20. Debida

    Debida Well-Known Member

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    Thanks, hope ur on the mend too! Xx
     

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