right whinge andmoan coming up - be warned lol

[Squeakz]

SOme of you may know my mother is a nightmare and it hasn't stopped. Its really getting me down to the point where i feel genuinely depresed, dread talking to her on the phone, and in all honesty im really dreading the arrival of this baby if she wont stop...

Its loadsa of small things, like how she calls him 'our'son, how she has already planned to spend every weekend coming to visit us and then take him to where she lives, how she refuses to spend time with me unless we are out baby shopping (LITERALLY), how she spoiled the first baby names we had and yet still calls him by those names despite me begging her not too, how she says she likes one name soo much she will call him freddy despite thats not what his name will be. Im suffering with antenatal depression and so if i ask her to stop talking about the baby for a while im going through 'that phase' again.

Last weekend she was supposed to come and visit and buy our last essential baby item for us and refused to let my OH come and choose with us cos she wanted girly time. I suggested that we go out for rlunch and do the baby stuff later with phil she refused point blank......

I can't take it anymore, iv tried to talk to her about it but if i do then, im spoiling the excitement for her, how can i expect her to not be excited, im creating problems for her, she shouldn't have tod eal with this, she didn't get to choose anything for MY wedding so she should get to choose things for MY son, im moving in a year so she should see him whenever she wants to cos otherwise she never will and im moving away from my hometown.... Basdically i should be excited for her. SHe's being pushed out, yet she was more than happ to do it with phil... i truly feel shes spoiling this pregnancy for me...

I can't hack it, i want her involved but i cannot live with her dictating how to behanve and what i can and can't say/do when he isn't even here yet.......

Anyway, rant over...had to get it out somewhere....Much love xxx

 

[Minchin]

You are allowed to moan, sounds like a complete nightmare

You should be allowed to have whatever feelings you need to!~ And this is about you, your other half and YOUR baby. Not sure I can offer any advice but hope the moan helped and you realise you are not feeling any unreasonable feelings.

xx

 

[Squeakz]

Moan deffo helped lol! just needed to get it out, i feel bad for OH having married in to it lol!!! that and he hears me moan about it all the time!! GRRR....thanks you though.....ight write her a letter, a friend just suggested it...x

 

[Rowesb]

Sounds rather like my mother... big and just make sure you do what is right for you, I had to not speak to my mother for several weeks too allow myself space to get my head together to deal with mine

 

[Squeakz]

did it work?? did she chill out or carry on? did she understand!? i feel that this may be needed for a while

 

[Rowesb]

it did, and has, she is adament that she is coming up as soon as I start in labour to stay with my brother down the road, and has said she will behave herself...
we shall see, but I think it scared her into thinking that I can quite easily distance myself if she does not respect us and our wishes...
... she sounds like my mother in the sense that when I was struggling with grieving over my MC, apparently she was grieving for a grandchild (hmmm, that made me feel a lot better!!!)

This baby is yours and your OH's, do not let her intrude on that

 

[serenitylove]

i think maybe a short time of not being in touch may be what you need a/ to give you a bit of breathing space and b/ to calm her down a bit im so lucky to have a mum who is chilled big hugs

 

[Squeakz]

you're very lucky. Phils parent are chilled. they're ewxcited but understand there's other stuff going on!!!! im gonna try staying yout of her way for a bit...then if she carries back on im going to have to write her a lovely letter and tell her how i feel....