Rant grr

[scaredmum2be]

My oh really takes the biscuit.
The other day he promised me that he would spend more time with me an he only goes out on friday or saturday whichever one he wanted i dont mind and that was the deal cos he also promised to take me to places for once rather than him going fish shops nearly every day but in the 3 years weve been together hes never took me out only on our honeymoon

hes gone out today to take his mate to fish shops and im really starting to feel hurt by this i thought he was going to make plans an stop with me but when his mate phoned lastnight he was well up for it .

bare in mind he fell out with his mate about marine fish/from the sea ie.. clownfish an dori. (if some people didnt know) And him an his mate made up yesterday. I feel dead stupid and lonely that i really thought he would want to spend some time with me an take me places for once.

Ive even been with him when hes been fish shops all day ie get up soooo early an come back around 11 at night cos he goes to his friends afterwards aswell as before.

He says why shud he be the one calling the shots as i dont take him anywhere well if i had my driving licence if he let me or even wanted me to pass my tests then id go on me self because he has no intention of takin me.
He says he does wana take me to places but he cant think of where to take me. but the fact is he could of made a nice day out today if he hadnt of gone off with his mate.

Im not worth his time an effort i feel so down that i might aswell of not got married to him and stayed single. Anyone in the same boat ive even left for 3 days an then came back to see if he wud change on one day he still fucked off to taunton to go to a fish shop, i feel stupid for even crying about it maybe i am he says im over reacting?

he wants to take me places now cos ive been going on bout it an cos ive been moaning about it thought he wud of wanted himto go his self an want to take me rather than go oh ill take u if you tell me where to take you. an he sed i if i showed him more attention one he wudnt be fukin off an 2 he might wana take me places, i think its just an excuse and im really starting to doubt wether i shud of come bk as i dont think he wud change . i feel so sad.

ne one to talk to that wud be great im not worth it anymore it hurts me to know im not x

 

[evie_smith]

he sounds like an ar*e to be honest if my man went out all day then on a sat night or what ever but didnt take me anywhere i would be so peed! my hubbny dont want me to learn to drive either its like he is scared of me having my own independance but i told him im learning this year anyway and up his to which he wasnt too pleased haha!! never mind!!! i think you need to say to him oh i have organisedf for us to go to (aplace) on what ever day and if he gets all huffy just say well youi didnt know where to take me!!! i think its terribkle tho i would be like omg what we gonna be like in ten years time if you dont iknow me well enough to know what i like doing?!?!?! i was like this with my hubby for a while and now we go cinima and for a meal on the same day at least 2x a month and he always buys me chocolate and well used to be a bottle of wine but you get the idea and he rents dvds so we can snuggle each night now and watch a dvd maybe he just needs a kick up the bum like mine did lol!!! x x x x

 

[titch]

Ahhh hun this sounds really hard, *hugs*

I dont really know what to say to you or advise you cos its your relationship and only you know if its good for you or not. I know that when Im mad I sometimes feel like I want to leave him etc... and then 2 hours later I can love him to bits and we're having a laugh together so I guess what Im saying is make sure you feel the same a few days in a row before you make a decision.

You really doneed to sort things out between you now before the baby arrives cos you will both be sleep deprived then and everything will feel more emotional. If you think you cant sort it out then you have a choice about whether you are prepared to put up with it or not. Its not easy though is it? And its really hard to talk without getting over emotional when youre pregnant, well it is for me anyway!

Sorry he's not making you feel as loved as you should be xxx

 

[evie_smith]

Im sure everything will sort itself out soon hun maybe he is just a bit tense about new baby's arrival???? going out allot before he cant? my hubby was a bit like this before hand now he is a total saint and prefures to do everything with me and go everywhere with me do you think this could be it??

 

[Piglet10]

my hubby beggs me to get my test so that i wont be stuck in my house or at my mums during the day when hes working lol cos he bought me a car which sits there when hes working whoopps!!!

as for your oh , men r selfish and he prob just didnt think and when his mate offered him to go out he prob just thought why not ive nothing else planned.

why dont you plan something , in or out, as a surprise and REALLY make him enjoy himself and then tell him that yous need those times together etc etc. ESP b4 bubs comes!!! he also needs to remember he cant run off noon to midnight when he has a baby so he should compromise like not go to his friends before and after just go straight there and straight home .

xxxxx

 

[evie_smith]

yer thats what i think surprise him

 

[Lovisa]

Aww babes, I take it you don't feel any better than you did yesterday
I know explaining to him how you feel hasn't helped so far, but maybe sit down and say well as you've gone out with your mate Friday then I'm planning for us to do something Saturday and rent a film and order a nice takeaway or cook a nice meal and spend the night in or if you can afford it go to cinema, bowling or whatever you both enjoy.

It sounds as if you might need to spoil him first before he will spoil you, even though really it should be other way round first especially as you are upset and pregnant with his child.

Either way please try and think things through before making any prompt decisions. Hope all will be well soon.
Speak to you later hun

 

[scaredmum2be]

He doesnt want to do anything ive suggested places to go an get in the car but he has to drive so if he does he does but hes told me the main thing he is interested in is fish marine.

he thinks going to the cinima or renting are a waiste of time he doesnt even download nemore.
ive moved out to me sisters an im going to the council tomorrow as he really didnt understand what i felt cos if he did he would of thought shit i might lose her cos he aint done anything.

he isnt scared of having a baby because he goes out when he wants to an he says he'll do what he likes so i cant force him to stay in with me or go out with me if he really doesnt want to. He did know that fridays or saturdays are his time to do things an my hubby goes to offer his mate to go to a place wtf!!

if he really wanted to make it work he would be tryin god damn harder an i cant seem to get him out the fish room that he has so am stuffed either way

im just a terrible wife that doesnt deserve anything and i ask for to much haha. he doesnt even like a stroll in the park with me an our dog.

ive not told him its over but i will be speakin to him later he aint bk from fish place yet but i will speak to him by msn an he can be involved with the baby but i cant stand the way he makes me feel so shit. I think im the selfish one im not so sure anymore?? x

 

[scaredmum2be]

Aww babes, I take it you don't feel any better than you did yesterday
I know explaining to him how you feel hasn't helped so far, but maybe sit down and say well as you've gone out with your mate Friday then I'm planning for us to do something Saturday and rent a film and order a nice takeaway or cook a nice meal and spend the night in or if you can afford it go to cinema, bowling or whatever you both enjoy.

It sounds as if you might need to spoil him first before he will spoil you, even though really it should be other way round first especially as you are upset and pregnant with his child.

Either way please try and think things through before making any prompt decisions. Hope all will be well soon.
Speak to you later hun

No i didnt feel any better but he hasnt seen me status on facebook just yet so dont say owt on facebook about it just yet cos to be honest i think we got better wen we seperated for 3 days so im thinkin a permament seperation would be best because any chance he gets he does one so im in the wrong lol i didnt realise i was in the wrong for wanting what i thought he wanted gosh when i think bout it it actually hurts dont it lol x

 

[evie_smith]

aww hun sounds like you are doing the right thing x

 

[Piglet10]

well if hes going to change this will b the toe up the butt he needs and if he doesnt then you were in for a rough ride... defo doing the right thing... good luck hun xxx

 

[titch]

ahh hun, you know whats best for you. Can you call it a 'break' to start with. Just to really be sure. Maybe see CAB and see if there is any family counselling you could get or something cos with a baby on the way nothing can be straight forward and you need support. I really hope he comes to his senses and you can get your marriage on track. we're here for you whenever xxx

 

[Piglet10]

^^ what she said! xx

 

[scaredmum2be]

I classed the 3 days we wasnt together as a break an i thought that would shock him into coming to his senses. i bet he wouldnt even find the time to come to a counselling session lol.

Anyone want to do a husbnd shop? lol

I know having a baby is hard work but i wont stop him seeing his child in fact i will know if he makes any effort with his child wen the baby is born.

He said he wanted us all to be a family hes cant even show how to be in a marriage let alone be a family lol. Im wondering if this permament seperation will show him how much hes losing so far so hes he if he offered to take somewhere or something then i might see how it goes.

But after how he was lastnight he didnt want to lisen to me i didnt argue an he said he didnt want to talk an turned round and eventually went to sleep so what does it make me think? :S he's the stubborn and selfish type.

i know he was single before we met for a long time but still his single mindedness he just seems to appear to want to be on his own. I didnt realise i wud be competing with marine fish lmao x

 

[scaredmum2be]

I feel very worthless as a wife-pregnant women ive never known a man to speak crap like this to me.

Because his journey on fish shops takes bout 4 hours there an back an spend 5 hours getting stuff an he said its not the same if he took me to a place hed rather not go for a day half the time i dont believe what im hearing lol x

 

[titch]

you shouldnt put up with anyone making you feel worthless hun. xxx Whats the fish thing? Im a bit confused, most women complain about their husbands spending too much time in pubs not fish shops!! But you're right, If he's making you feel this terrible maybe you need some distance between you. If he wants you back say you'll consider it if you can discuss it in formal counselling. Then at least you'll know how committed he is. Are you going to sort yourself out somewhere to go? I hope youve got someone who will put you up and hand you tissues so you can have a good cry xxx

 

[Piglet10]

get rid of him mrs... he wont be long in coming crawling with his tail between his legs IF hes worth it... he will prove his worth. and at least your competing with actual fish... lots of men are attracted to the fishy smell xx

 

[scaredmum2be]

Lol lisa.

The fish that he is into are marine fish from the sea but he travels all over just to look at corals an sometimes buys some fish to type it on google you'll know what im on about.

hes spent loads of money on his set up an cos the money is in my bank im not allowed to look at the bank balance because im not allowed to know about the money side.

ive just never felt so miserable to be honest an i know its stupid that im compeiting over flipping fish.

my hubby dont drink so ull never find him in the pub lol.
i dont mind him having it as a hobby but hes now thinkin he can do this crap with buisness.
ive moved up to my sisters yet again but i think im guna get me sen on the council.

my hubby has text me why am i doing that to him but i need to think of the baby the more im down the more shit will happen to this baby i shud be resting an tryin to enjoy being pregnant wen all he does is stress me out an he dont wana spend ne time with me.

he sed if i showed him more affection then he mite wana take me somewhere i dont wana be close cos hes so bone idol when it comes to his wife but hes so happy to get in the car an bugger off to his mates an then off fish shop miles away xx

 

[Rosie's Mummy]

Fancy him saying he would like you to take him out! Is is 12 or something? Sorry but he needs a big wake up call about being married and sharing things/time and making your partner feel loved. I hope he stops being so selfish and starts treating you with a little more respect xx

 

[titch]

why on earth would you want to be affectionate towards someone who's making you feel like shit! Works both ways. And by the way, I wouldnt let my OH manage all my money for me, Im sure its fine but a friend of mine used to let her husband manage everything and just gave her bank forms to sign occasinally and she let him manage it all. Well he left her totally out ofthe blue with 2 kids, I think he had midlife crisis to be honest. Well it turned out he'd left them with 45k worth of debt in both their names. She tried to get her name off them in court but because she signed the court said each individual is respoinsible for their own finances and she should have checked what was going on. The worst part is she never found out where this money went.

Ever since then Ive always decided to manage my own acount. Me and OH have one joint account which we pay bills from and we both transfer an agreed amount into it every month. I know it doesnt happen to everyone, and its unlikely, but she relly had no idea this was going on.

I'd check your balance if I were you, especially if you're gonna have to start claiming for you and your baby on your own xxx