am i stupid :(

Discussion in 'Second Trimester' started by welshsarah4eva, Nov 24, 2007.

  1. welshsarah4eva

    welshsarah4eva Well-Known Member

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    my babys dad has been dropping hints to me recently saying that we are a family and that next year that ill have two to look after meaning him and Baby. hes told all his family apart from his nan. i havent met any of his family but apparently his mum is over the moon.
    When i was 5 weeks i didnt no if i cud keep the baby or not. and he turned around and said to me that id be a murderer if i got rid and not to worry cos hel always be there for me. then at 11 weeks he left me, but still wants to no be involved with the baby. he didnt come to my 12 wk scan because he was away playing pool and had forgotten even through i reminded him the day before. i see him about every 4 weeks or so for an hour. he says he misses me and im just stupid cos all i want to do is believe him and be a family but yesterday he dropped in and i ended up sleeping with him and then after he left straight away! im fed up. Today he told me today in an email hes going to tell his nan but doesnt know how she will react because all his cousons are married or have partners :( i feel like crap x :cry:
     
  2. loz

    loz Well-Known Member

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    You poor thing, he doesnt sound very reliable, just when you need him to be as well. Try and protect yourself, you are vulnerable and dont need to be used especially now. Do you really want to be with him or do you just have feelings as he is baby's daddy? It sounds as if you should get on with life without him and make arrangements for him to see the baby when it is born. Letting you down about the scan is really crap and indicates that he is probably going to let you down again. Are your family there for you, if he isnt? Thinking of you :hug: :hug:
     
  3. kalia

    kalia Well-Known Member

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    I think you should research how much child maintenance he should pay you, tell him about it and from what you've said it sounds like he'll run! Then you can get yourself someone who'll love you and the baby properly. If he makes you feel crap now, how will he make you feel when you are trying to survive on very little sleep? LO comes first and unless he understands he has no business in your lives.
    That's just my opinion from what you've said though, obviously you know much more of the story than I do and he must have some good qualities or you wouldn't have been seeing him in the first place. But maybe it's time to move on.
    Don't feel like crap - you're growing a person!! How amazing are you!?!!
    :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
     
  4. lisa&alex

    lisa&alex Well-Known Member

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    if im anything of an example of this situation... then i dont have good news..:( my ex was a complete arsehole..he doesnt see my little girl now.. and has messed her about her whole life.. he also did the lets get bk together during preg.. then split.. then got bk together... its a complete nightmare of a situation to be in.. and i wish you the best of luck because it is very very emotional.. and very upsetting at times.. all you ever want is to be loved, and your child to be loved.. and when it slaps you in the face it kills! good luck.. and remeber to stay strong.. and prepare yourself for bringing up the baby alone for a while xxx surround yourself with family and support.
     
  5. Sherlock

    Sherlock Well-Known Member

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    TBH he'd have to do a whole lot more to convince me he was able and willing to be together with you through your pregnancy and once baby is born. So far he sounds like a total flake and unwilling to change his life one iota for you and the baby. Very selfish.

    So far from what you've said here and elsewhere he sounds immature and unreliable and has shown no interest or intent of changing. Its all talk and tbh, that doesn't do anyone any favours.

    Also were you not hoping to have your sisters come live with you? I am not sure but I'd think he'd not be the kind of person you could rely on if you were living together and had them also.

    I'd be very wary of getting back together with him. If you do, chances are its for all the wrong reasons and it'll not be good for you in the long term. Even if things seem hard now, I think you are better taking a strong stand and remaining as friends and while involving him as you had planned to do, making it very clear you have no intentions of being a couple again. And that sex is out of the question. If he gave you the whole song and dance last night or pulled out the sympathy card and you ended up sleeping with him, then next time have him meet you somewhere public and during the day, so as it can't really have the chance to progress. I think letting yourself be put in any situation where he can possibly play on your emotions and any weaknesses you have regarding him is very unfair on his part and you should make sure you take charge and as I said, don't have him come round your house anymore.

    I think you need to put yourself and baby first and let him get on with his own life as he seems to want to do. Of course involve him as you see fit, but really you are better off out of any relationship with him IMO.
     
  6. BeckyJ

    BeckyJ Well-Known Member

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    awww u poor thing! hope u get it all sorted out :hug:
     
  7. muppetmummy

    muppetmummy Well-Known Member

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    :hug: :hug: :hug: It does sound like you would be better off without him hun, it sounds as if he's being very self centred
     

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