fairycake
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Dec 26, 2011
- Messages
- 421
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hello ladies
well I made no announcement or anything but on 23rd of march I got my bfp, reason for no announcement was I was having some fairly strong cramps, went to the doctor had it confirmed started taking my increased folic acid and iron, but cramps didnt go away last friday had a blood test and hcg was 346, went back monday hcg was 354 so told that was most likely a non-viable pregnancy, started bleding really heavily last night and blood tst this morning shows hcg has dropped to 84 so have another blood test on monday and scan week later to ensure i'm not retaining.
feel like crap but also hope, 'at least we caught' is the mentality i'm trying to keep to atm. dh is being wonderful, lots of hugs and love.
tomorrow is the 3 year anniversary of losing AJ so gonna go where we buried his ashes and set off the 17 blue balloons we normally do but dh suggested we have an extra silver balloon for this bean.
there was part of me that was like why now, its already a sad time of year but then it hit me that it would always be this painful and feel like a punch to the chest, and i felt guilty for thinking it.
I just needed to write this because my head isn't processing all the emotions swirling around in it atm.
I'm just trying to focus on the best thought and that is hope, at least it can happen, now we just need to work on lining my uterus with superglue.
sorry for rambling but feel calmer now its written.
well I made no announcement or anything but on 23rd of march I got my bfp, reason for no announcement was I was having some fairly strong cramps, went to the doctor had it confirmed started taking my increased folic acid and iron, but cramps didnt go away last friday had a blood test and hcg was 346, went back monday hcg was 354 so told that was most likely a non-viable pregnancy, started bleding really heavily last night and blood tst this morning shows hcg has dropped to 84 so have another blood test on monday and scan week later to ensure i'm not retaining.
feel like crap but also hope, 'at least we caught' is the mentality i'm trying to keep to atm. dh is being wonderful, lots of hugs and love.
tomorrow is the 3 year anniversary of losing AJ so gonna go where we buried his ashes and set off the 17 blue balloons we normally do but dh suggested we have an extra silver balloon for this bean.
there was part of me that was like why now, its already a sad time of year but then it hit me that it would always be this painful and feel like a punch to the chest, and i felt guilty for thinking it.
I just needed to write this because my head isn't processing all the emotions swirling around in it atm.
I'm just trying to focus on the best thought and that is hope, at least it can happen, now we just need to work on lining my uterus with superglue.
sorry for rambling but feel calmer now its written.