"Older" lady looking for some advice


New Member
Jan 2, 2012
Reaction score
Hello, I'm 42 and we have been ttc our first for about 5 years with a couple of breaks. I had a m/c in Sept 2007 at 11.5 weeks. We've both had all the usual tests and I've tried both Clomid & Tamoxifen with no luck.

Is anyone else in a similar situation? Both me and my hubby want to carry on ttc for the forseeable future as I don't want to give up yet but are we wasting our time? I know I can get pregnant but I am getting older.....

Anyway, just wanted to say "hi" and would love some advice/support.
Hi Sarah, not in a similar situation but didnt want to read and run. I'm 35 soon and TTC #1.

best of luck and hope you get your BFP soon! xx
Hiya Sarah :)

I'd stop wasting time in your situation.

You've been ttc for 5 years with one pregnancy and it was sadly miscarried - something is wrong and you are very quickly running out of time.

So i'm assuming your hubby's sperm result was fine?

Are your cycles regular?

I'd immediately go and get your tubes checked if you want to continue ttc naturally.

Otherwise, i'd go and have a consultation for IVF which can be done without good tubes.

Even if your egg count is ok, the quality will be declining and so will your ability to carry a pregnancy - so you need to act.

Sorry if i've panicked you but once it's too late, it's too late :oooo:

Good luck :)
Hey Sarah I'm the same age as you hun and been trying longer than.I care to remember although I do have a 10 year old son who we tried for 6 years for I'm always here if you fancy a chat xx
"I'd stop wasting time in your situation"

I don't feel I'm "wasting time" as you put it. We have both had all tests as I said. My tubes were checked and are fine, my hubby's sperm count is fine and my cyles are regular as clockwork.

We both decided a long time ago against IVF for personal reasons.

I joined this forum for some encouragement and support so if anyone else has some please share.
Thank you.
Last edited:
Hey Sarah I'm the same age as you hun and been trying longer than.I care to remember although I do have a 10 year old son who we tried for 6 years for I'm always here if you fancy a chat xx

Thank you Daisy that's really kind and I will take you up on that offer soon. xx
I don't feel I'm "wasting time" as you put it.

No need to get defensive. We're all in the same situation and time is the enemy and you don't have much of it - beating around the bush might make people feel all fuzzy inside but it's not going to help anyone get pregnant which is the whole point :)

There isn't really much else you can do if you don't want to go down the IVF route, except for get your immune bloodwork done and maybe you will require some blood thinners or some steroids. Some people aren't genetically compatible but it can be overcome in most cases.
hi ,welcome, sorry to say i agree with Louise, even with all the tests being fine and regular cycles the chances of it happening naturally are minimal, adding to that the quality of the eggs and you really are takign a large chance.

why are you against ivf? simply its assisted conception and is no different from taking clomid in my opinion as it artifically stimulates your hormones.

what ever you decide to do good luck.
hi hun im not exactly in the same situation but i have thought of a couple of things you could try.

my mom was pregnant a few yrs ago at 44 and mc so i def think that as you get older it maybe harder to go full term, but as ive known younger people with the same issue i can say that they were told by their doctors to take folic acid before they were even trying to make sure they had the perfect environment for the sperm and egg. so you could try that as well as monitoring your cycles to see exactly when your fertile stages are in each cycle to increase you chances

i used that method with both mine as imslightly irregular , basically you take you temp every morning at the same time and make a note of it alot with your discharge, basically when it becomes like egg white and your temp starts to rise that is your most fertile phase.

good luck i wish you all the best xxx
Hi hun I'm not really in same situation apart from the obvious (ttc)
but wondered if you was trying anything at the moment, taking anything etc...? Xx
The only other things I can think of are alternative therapies like acupuncture. Maybe worth trying.

Also, diet can have an impact and if you have an above average BMI, which I'm sure you know but could be a factor?

are we wasting our time?
I think louise was being constructive , tryin to help, tryin to help you tick all the boxes. You asked a question and got a straigt forward honest answer. However i wish you all the luck in ttc . Ivf is our next stop and although i dont like the idea ' i wanted my baby to be made in the natural way' i will still go for cycles in the end after saving up if i have to. My baby will still be conceived with love x x x
Hi Sarah

Welcome to PF. :)

Have you tried accupunture, refloxology and seen a nutritionist? The nutritionist I saw did some hormone profiling and gave me a much better diet to try. The accupunture was good for my cycles (quite chilled out and relaxing as well) although I am regular and a load of women swear by Reflexology. Also I take Evening Primorse Oil and Vit B and C. I also use the ovulation sticks to see when i am most fertile, and take my temperature throughout the month to see if it goes up after ovulation. I am sure you have tried some of these but if not then give them a go.

All of these thing can help if you want to carry on TTC naturally. Louise said about the immume tests and I have heard about this as well. It is worth checking with your GP to see if you can have these carried out.

The only thing i can suggest (other than going down the IUI/IVF route) is to get a AMH blood tests done if you have not already as this will check your egg reserve. I am sure you have had the scan done to check this but AMH gives you a good idea. I had this done at Create Health in Harley Street so can give you the details if you need them.

The girls on here are really really helpful since I joined and I am not sure what i would do without them now. Most of them in this forum will have better advice than your Gp as they have seen it done it and got the T shirt.

Have you thought about IUI?? I know you said you did not want to try IVF but IUI is slightly different. I am sure you have, but if you were worried about the proceedure for IVF then IUI is less invasive.

Anyway good luck.

Love Gizzy xxxx
get your vitamin and mineral levels checked. A friend of mine went to see a homeopathic therapist and her zinc levels were all wrong, and the Doc told her she would never have been able to conceive!
once she sorted that, bingo!
Hi Sarah
welcome to the forums , My advice would be to start a journal i never realised until i started mine that it would mean the wonderful support of other ladies.

I would say stear well clear of untested medicines and unqualified "medical"practitioners becuase feeling desperate can make you turn to charlatons with a good speal. Alternative medicines that have been proven to work and are safe are called medicines only untested ineffective compounds are not.

Dont know what youve been through at all so im just going to say good luck and stay strong and take up purple daisys offer. and try not to be taken aback at the curt way some folks try to help on here. Any day now youll be sharing mucus and pee stories it kind of fosters a bluntness !!
xx Daisy
Hope to see you in the journals xx

Users who are viewing this thread

Members online

No members online now.

Latest posts

Forum statistics

Latest member