November 2020 mums

[SockVortex]

hello I’m good thanks. Struggling with tiredness the past couple of weeks. Had my 16 week midwife appointment today, everything fine. Just counting down now until my 20 week scan on 3rd July.

Ah the day after mine! That’s three of us all having scans over two days lol.

 

[CrazyChic]

Sorry I've been quiet of lately girls been dealing with mental health issues due to lockdown.

Wow congratulations on your little boy @EmilyMaria, and in hubby feeling the kicks. My movements have really picked up the last few days been getting proper kicks haha

@SockVortex glad your appointment went well and you heard the baby's heartbeat. I've yet to see my midwife just been having telephone appointments, but I have a doppler at home do that has helped.

@Kelly1991 the tiredness is always a killer, I'm still not back to work so I'll just sitting at home and I still have to have a nap a day haha dreading going back to work I'm going yo be so tried.

Is it just me or is another else keeping sex uncomfortable? I enjoy it but I'm finding it a bit awkward. I can't remember feeling like this with DD but then me and her dad didn't DTD as much as me and my oh does.

Has anyone got any guesses of the gender of their baby?

 

[CharliC]

I'm 18 weeks today, and baby is apparently the same size as either a sweet potato or a bell pepper.

@CrazyChic sorry to hear you haven't been well due to lockdown, I hope that your doing better. It's a really tough time just now.

I find sex uncomfortable depending on the position. We don't dtd that often as it caused a tiny bit of bleeding a few weeks ago and I've been paranoid about it since then and also my bump getting in the way makes me feel awkward too.

I'm guessing girl for my better purely on the fact that my sickness was worse than it was with my daughter and with my son I had a much different early pregnancy. Although that's probably nothing as apparently sickness gets worse with subsequent pregnancies so it could easily be a boy.

 

[CrazyChic]

I'm 18 weeks today, and baby is apparently the same size as either a sweet potato or a bell pepper.

@CrazyChic sorry to hear you haven't been well due to lockdown, I hope that your doing better. It's a really tough time just now.

I find sex uncomfortable depending on the position. We don't dtd that often as it caused a tiny bit of bleeding a few weeks ago and I've been paranoid about it since then and also my bump getting in the way makes me feel awkward too.

I'm guessing girl for my better purely on the fact that my sickness was worse than it was with my daughter and with my son I had a much different early pregnancy. Although that's probably nothing as apparently sickness gets worse with subsequent pregnancies so it could easily be a boy.

I think my issue is more on positions, our favourite positions just don't seem to work aswel. The side position and me on my back and him sitting up just makes me me want to go for a wee. We just got to keep playing around I guess. I hated sex when I was carrying my DD but this time round I'm like a dog on heat I don't know what's wrong with me haha

Any idea what caused your bleed?

 

[EmilyMaria]

For Tri one I was pretty much disinterested in sex and we barely did it. Poor hubby, such a rude shock for him after how ...enthusiastic I was when we were TTC

Tri 2 has been so much better in terms of my libido. We have had a few funny moments trying to get around the bump. We have definitely started to change things up a bit.

 

[EmilyMaria]

@CrazyChic sorry to hear you are having a hard time. I was an emotional mess in March with everything going on in the world and then the added changes of a first time pregnancy.

Where I am COVID and lockdowns have not been nearly as bad as what you guys are going through in the UK. Hope you are all keeping safe.

 

[CrazyChic]

I was the same in tri 1, now I think my OH has had a shock. Everything will probably die down once we get back to normal. I'm due back at work 4th July so I'll he way to tired.

Thanks, I feel much better now the end is in sight. I don't feel it when the DD and step son is here but when they go to there other parents for the week I'm a complete mess the first 3 days. Where are you from then @EmilyMaria? To be honest I'm struggling with the lack of antenatal care and I've been pregnant before so would hate to go through this as a first pregnancy.

 

[CharliC]

Any idea what caused your bleed?

I think it was just having sex, we changed position to one that was more uncomfortable and I just assumed that. I've been told its normal to bleed a bit after sex as everything is a bit more sensitive so i tried to not to be worried, but it has made me paranoid. Mostly because if I have a bleed I'm supposed to go to the hospital for anti-D and that can take ages!

 

[CharliC]

I was curious so I went back through my bump photos from my last pregnancy. The black and white photo is 25 weeks with my daughter (baby #2) and the colour one is today, 18 weeks with baby #3. Definitely showing earlier

 

[SockVortex]

@CrazyChic Sorry to hear you've been having a hard time Being trapped inside for this length of time is so horrid and it's even worse because we're pregnant. Hopefully things will be approaching some semblance of normal soon. Could you plan a short weekend break for September or October? I know that helped give me and D something to look forward to and a lot of hotels and b&b's are doing 're-opening' offers at the moment.

As to sex... D and I haven't had sex since the week before we found out I was pregnant. I'm terrified of damaging my cervix somehow so we haven't even attempted it.

@CharliC I love your bump! It's so neat I can't wait until mine is bigger.

 

[Natalie8964]

@CrazyChic Sorry to hear you've been having a hard time Being trapped inside for this length of time is so horrid and it's even worse because we're pregnant. Hopefully things will be approaching some semblance of normal soon. Could you plan a short weekend break for September or October? I know that helped give me and D something to look forward to and a lot of hotels and b&b's are doing 're-opening' offers at the moment.

As to sex... D and I haven't had sex since the week before we found out I was pregnant. I'm terrified of damaging my cervix somehow so we haven't even attempted it.

@CharliC I love your bump! It's so neat I can't wait until mine is bigger.

Thank god someone else who hasn't had sex since getting pregnant! I was starting to think I was on my own. There are a couple of reasons for me - I am scared. Everyday I feel so incredibly lucky to be pregnant and the thought of doing something that might cause me to go into labour early terrifies me. Also I have had literally zero appetite for it! I dont know where it went but I've not missed it! My husband is a saint. He has not pressured me once and I'm so thankful for that. But I do feel guilty and that maybe I'm being silly and should just get it over with!

 

[SockVortex]

Thank god someone else who hasn't had sex since getting pregnant! I was starting to think I was on my own. There are a couple of reasons for me - I am scared. Everyday I feel so incredibly lucky to be pregnant and the thought of doing something that might cause me to go into labour early terrifies me. Also I have had literally zero appetite for it! I dont know where it went but I've not missed it! My husband is a saint. He has not pressured me once and I'm so thankful for that. But I do feel guilty and that maybe I'm being silly and should just get it over with!

Yeah I've never really been fussed about sex, even before I was pregnant. D has a bigger need for it than me but he sounds very like your husband. I tell him I feel guilty about it and he says it doesn't matter and that he'd be worried about hurting the baby somehow too.

I've thought more about giving it a go lately but the fear just takes over in the end.

 

[chattychar1990]

@Natalie8964 & @SockVortex - sex will not harm the baby or your cervix. It’s completely safe to still have sex when pregnant.
I haven’t really felt up to it since becoming pregnant but I have been occasionally having it just so Oh doesn’t feel pushed out. It’s done no harm to me at all.

 

[Natalie8964]

@Natalie8964 & @SockVortex - sex will not harm the baby or your cervix. It’s completely safe to still have sex when pregnant.
I haven’t really felt up to it since becoming pregnant but I have been occasionally having it just so Oh doesn’t feel pushed out. It’s done no harm to me at all.

I know that but it's more of a mental block. I just cant seem to get past that fear. Maybe I will soon, my bubs is getting more active and that's reassuring to me. But again, I have zero drive for it right now

 

[Kitana]

I agree with @chattychar1990, sex doesn't hurt the baby at all. I was always in the mood, even more so near the end, which was very annoying with such a big bump. Maybe you could just help him out if you don't want to dtd, if you know what I mean no handy J emojis on here

I have a friend who only dtd while ttc in April, gave birth in January and now, a year and 2 months later still hasn't done it.

 

[CharliC]

I have a friend who only dtd while ttc in April, gave birth in January and now, a year and 2 months later still hasn't done it.

This was me after my first, I just did not want my husband to even think about coming near me after that!! Besides, I just wanted to sleep more than anything

 

[SockVortex]

I agree with @chattychar1990, sex doesn't hurt the baby at all. I was always in the mood, even more so near the end, which was very annoying with such a big bump. Maybe you could just help him out if you don't want to dtd, if you know I mean no handy J emojis on here

Haha I've definitely done this a few time which I think have been appreciated!

 

[EmilyMaria]

Sex definitely can not hurt bub. Your cervix is a very strong muscle and there is plenty of protection there for bub.

 

[EmilyMaria]

I was the same in tri 1, now I think my OH has had a shock. Everything will probably die down once we get back to normal. I'm due back at work 4th July so I'll he way to tired.

Thanks, I feel much better now the end is in sight. I don't feel it when the DD and step son is here but when they go to there other parents for the week I'm a complete mess the first 3 days. Where are you from then @EmilyMaria? To be honest I'm struggling with the lack of antenatal care and I've been pregnant before so would hate to go through this as a first pregnancy.

I live in Australia. Even here the antenatal care has been lacking. In March my GP was too scared to come close enough to me to take a bloodpressure and all my GP appointments have now been by phone.

My first antenatal appointment at 12 weeks was by phone and took 30 minutes. Before the change when it was in person it was meant to be a 90 minute booking. So I can see a lot must have been missing.

I basically have been 20 weeks pregnant and some of the basics like having a bloid pressure taken have been totally missing which is not great. I think things here should start to get better though. My 20 week appointment is in person so hopefully that will include full obs, bloodwork and urine samples though I actually have no idea what to expect.

 

[WinterWolf]

I live in Australia. Even here the antenatal care has been lacking. In March my GP was too scared to come close enough to me to take a bloodpressure and all my GP appointments have now been by phone.

My first antenatal appointment at 12 weeks was by phone and took 30 minutes. Before the change when it was in person it was meant to be a 90 minute booking. So I can see a lot must have been missing.

I basically have been 20 weeks pregnant and some of the basics like having a bloid pressure taken have been totally missing which is not great. I think things here should start to get better though. My 20 week appointment is in person so hopefully that will include full obs, bloodwork and urine samples though I actually have no idea what to expect.

Thread hopping as I'm also in Aus Those 12wk booking in appointments are just a series of questions about your medical history. They always say allow 2hrs but they're never anywhere near that long... when I went in person last year it was only 30mins, and my phone one this pregnancy was only 30mins (slightly longer because I had to go through how my previous pregnancy/birth went). The only thing they did last time that they couldn't do over the phone this time was listen to baby's heart.

The lack of blood pressure being done isn't good is it! Its not normally a problem until later in pregnancy but most GPs will let you make an in-person appointment to have it checked if you ask. Mine wouldn't, so I went elsewhere at 17wks (I'm a worrier). Urine samples and bloodwork aren't done at 20wks. They only do them at 12 and 28wks. That's it unless you're going private, have an issue or are high risk. At 20wks they'll most likely just ask how you are, discuss your morphology scan, check your blood pressure and give you the referrals for 28wk bloods/glucose test.

They've recommended we resume fact-to-face appointments for pregnant ladies now so those recommendations should filter down to hospitals/GPs soon... I have a midwife appointment at 28 weeks and am then not meant to see anyone until 36 weeks, and then 41, which imo is not safe. Basically no care in the part of pregnancy where things can go very wrong very quickly!! I'll be demanding to see someone in person as its meant to be every 2-3 weeks in early tri 3, and weekly from 36 weeks... I was not too concerned with the lack of care in early pregnancy as they can't do much to save baby if something goes wrong... but in late pregnancy they can.