We aren't really too great. OH has gone straight back to work as his employers are only really concerned about who's there to keep the pub open and serve themselves and their friends drinks all weekend. I've signed myself off work all weekend, my OH rang my manager and left a message saying why I wasn't coming in today and that it's unlikely that I'll be in until after Monday. Monday morning I'm being sent to the RVI in Newcastle to have a final diagnosis but even I can see the cysts in the placenta and the uterine wall. Baby was reacting and looked fully formed but it could have a double copy of OH's genes which means it's unviable. If it even made it to full term then it's almost completely certain that it'll be born sleeping.
If it is a molar pregnancy then I will have to have 12 months of hormone treatment before I'm even able to consider trying again and there's a 1/5 chance of it happening again.
The long and short of it is that the pregnancy is almost certainly unviable, the scan on Monday is for a more in depth scan to give the official diagnosis, then I'll have to undergo a procedure to "evacuate" before starting monthly blood and urine tests because issues with the placenta are likely to be issues with my hormone levels.
The cruelest thing is when they handed me 4 scan photos and said I still needed to have blood tests which couldn't be done at booking in, it's awful knowing that it's a very very tiny baby who has no chance of living. I've got the emergency number for the maternity ward in case I miscarry over the weekend, I feel like my world is crashing down around me and I can't help but think silly thoughts of hurting myself. :'( I just want this nightmare to end. I can't go home because I don't trust myself not to do anything stupid while I'm alone so I'm sat at the pub waiting for my OH to finish in a few hours. Just to top it all off there's a 3 month old baby at the other end of the bar who's either been giggling or whimpering for the last hour. I just wish they'd go home, all I want to do is break down everytime it makes a noise and OH has already thrown a few glasses on the floor in anger. I've just moved rooms to get away from them and now she's walking back and forth between both of the rooms to settle them, it's like she's unknowingly taunting me with something I can't have.
I just want this to end. :'(
lol. But yes all is good! Can't wait for all us August mummies to be fully moved over to tri 2!
so I expected another big one 
hope you take time to get the rest and support you need. We are all here for you xx
