My marriage is over - UPDATED page 3

[Snuggle]

Hi all,
Over the recent months its become obvious that hubby and I were no longer working Back in November he got a ridiculous mobile phone bill and when I checked out his bill to see what had happened there was a number on there that he had been texting from the minute he finished work at 5pm, all through his journey home (1 hour) and for a couple of hours while at home too. I asked who it was and he said 'Neil' from work. I for some reason didnt believe him as I remembered that on these particular days he had made excuses to leave the house (at the times he was texting) so I phoned the number and a woman answered. I asked who it was and she said 'Jane'. I knew hubby worked with a Jane but couldnt understand why he would need to text her for 4 hours after he had left work and lie to me about who it was so I got really suspicious. I confronted him about why he lied and he said 'coz you would get mad at me for texting a girl so much'. This is true, I probably would have. Maybe nothing ever went on between them but I turned into an untrusting psycho who kept checking his phone. I decided to try call his bluff and asked him to do a lie detector test (I had no intention of carrying that out) to prove that nothing went on between them and he said no so this made me even worse. Since then I have questioned everything he does and I dont want to live like that anymore and neither does he.
So, we have decided to separate. My Mum has said I can move in with her for a while in Scotland if I want to leave RAF so now I have to decide whether to stay in RAF to be able to provide for my daughter but be very alone (my family all live in Scotland) or leave RAF, move home and look for a normal job there
Sorry this is so long, I dont expect anyone to reply, just had to get it out

 

[Slinky Sarah]

aww hun thats aweful! Id be the same too if my OH was texting a girl all the time and lying about it. You dont need the stress and worry of wondering what he is doing. He has broken the trust between you and once thats gone its very hard to get back.
What job do you do in the RAF? Is there a civi job equivalent? Personally i would look into all the options of a civilian job first and then make your decision but i think it might be better being nearer your family
lots of them for you and so sorry this has happened hun xxx

 

[lauramumof2]

hun, if you need to leave the raf to come home then thats what you need to do. Im sure the raf will give you a good reference and you need to be near your family at a time like this.

Im sorry things have broken down

Laura x

 

[Sammystar]

Don't know what to say. What's wrong with men?????????

If you need to rant, feel free to pm me. I'm going through a similar thing after all.......

Have some hugs for you and give Maddison some extra special ones as well.......

 

[mummykay]

oh snuggle im so sorry

i hope you are happy with whatever u choose to do, u know uv got us lot for support

 

[clairescunny55]

oh darling im so sorry i cant tell you which is best, but i know i'd want to be with my family at a time like this. Hope you and Maddison are ok xx we're all here for you xx

 

[Babylicious]

 

[Nic'n'Keeley]

 

[MissThing]

Oh, honey...You sure there cant be anythyng else done? Maybe you can still be together. If you were alone...But you have a LO.

If it cant be saved, from what youve told about your RAF job, maybe it would be better for you to go to stay with your mum and start a new life in Scotland? You could find a job, which would allow you to see Maddison.

But, be strong, and lots of hugs for you!

 

[fran_23]

i'm so sorry to hear this hun, i dont know what to say just wanted
to send some hugs
and say you do what you feel is best for you and your daughter,
be strong xxxxx

 

[Snuggle]

Thank you everyone

I have decided to move back to Scotland and start a new life with my girl. My marriage is beyond repair, we no longer make each other happy and we dont want to put up with each other for the sake of Maddison. Think its best we cut our losses now while she is too young to know whats going on. We are going to remain civil and Chris will be visiting Maddison as often as he can.

Thank you so much for all your replies, it means a lot knowing I can always get support on here

 

[clairescunny55]

sorry it didnt work out hun xx

 

[Nicola g]

 

[Bee]

 

[Slinky Sarah]

glad you have come to decision hun, it sounds like its best all round hun.
Good luck

 

[LaineyG]

Hey Snuggle!
If you move back and want to meet up with a fellow forum mum of a little girl.....give me a shout!

I'm going it alone (sort of.........amazingly loooooonnng story!) too, so here if you need me!

xxx

 

[zebrastripes]

sorry it didn't work out for you-good luck going it alone

 

[Squiglet]

I made a similar decision when I left Tia's dad... I moved home to be closer to my family.. and... it was the best decision I could have ever made.... Your family will help you through this like no one else can...

 

[trixipaws]

oh no, im so sorry 2 hear this snuggle

if i were u i would go home 2 b with my family. but im really not a career girl, u and i may be very different! but thats my opinion thats what i'd do, i'd rather hav emotional support from my family than career.

good luck whichever u decide

 

[mrs_tommo22]

Hi hun, im going to pm you xxxxx