My marriage is over - UPDATED page 3

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Snuggle, Jan 15, 2008.

  1. Snuggle

    Snuggle Well-Known Member

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    Hi all,
    Over the recent months its become obvious that hubby and I were no longer working :( Back in November he got a ridiculous mobile phone bill and when I checked out his bill to see what had happened there was a number on there that he had been texting from the minute he finished work at 5pm, all through his journey home (1 hour) and for a couple of hours while at home too. I asked who it was and he said 'Neil' from work. I for some reason didnt believe him as I remembered that on these particular days he had made excuses to leave the house (at the times he was texting) so I phoned the number and a woman answered. I asked who it was and she said 'Jane'. I knew hubby worked with a Jane but couldnt understand why he would need to text her for 4 hours after he had left work and lie to me about who it was so I got really suspicious. I confronted him about why he lied and he said 'coz you would get mad at me for texting a girl so much'. This is true, I probably would have. Maybe nothing ever went on between them but I turned into an untrusting psycho who kept checking his phone. I decided to try call his bluff and asked him to do a lie detector test (I had no intention of carrying that out) to prove that nothing went on between them and he said no so this made me even worse. Since then I have questioned everything he does and I dont want to live like that anymore and neither does he.
    So, we have decided to separate. My Mum has said I can move in with her for a while in Scotland if I want to leave RAF so now I have to decide whether to stay in RAF to be able to provide for my daughter but be very alone (my family all live in Scotland) or leave RAF, move home and look for a normal job there :?
    Sorry this is so long, I dont expect anyone to reply, just had to get it out :hug:
     
  2. Slinky Sarah

    Slinky Sarah Well-Known Member

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    aww hun thats aweful! Id be the same too if my OH was texting a girl all the time and lying about it. You dont need the stress and worry of wondering what he is doing. He has broken the trust between you and once thats gone its very hard to get back.
    What job do you do in the RAF? Is there a civi job equivalent? Personally i would look into all the options of a civilian job first and then make your decision but i think it might be better being nearer your family :)
    :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: lots of them for you and so sorry this has happened hun xxx
     
  3. lauramumof2

    lauramumof2 Well-Known Member

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    hun, if you need to leave the raf to come home then thats what you need to do. Im sure the raf will give you a good reference and you need to be near your family at a time like this.

    Im sorry things have broken down :hug:

    Laura x
     
  4. Sammystar

    Sammystar Well-Known Member

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    :cry: :cry: :cry:

    Don't know what to say. What's wrong with men????????? :x

    If you need to rant, feel free to pm me. I'm going through a similar thing after all.......

    Have some hugs for you :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: and give Maddison some extra special ones as well.......
     
  5. mummykay

    mummykay Well-Known Member

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    oh snuggle im so sorry :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

    i hope you are happy with whatever u choose to do, u know uv got us lot for support :hug: :hug: :hug:
     
  6. clairescunny55

    clairescunny55 Well-Known Member

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    oh darling im so sorry :hug: i cant tell you which is best, but i know i'd want to be with my family at a time like this. Hope you and Maddison are ok xx we're all here for you xx :hug: :hug:
     
  7. Babylicious

    Babylicious Well-Known Member

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  8. Nic'n'Keeley

    Nic'n'Keeley Well-Known Member

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  9. MissThing

    MissThing Well-Known Member

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    Oh, honey...You sure there cant be anythyng else done? Maybe you can still be together. If you were alone...But you have a LO.

    If it cant be saved, from what youve told about your RAF job, maybe it would be better for you to go to stay with your mum and start a new life in Scotland? You could find a job, which would allow you to see Maddison. :hug:

    But, be strong, and lots of hugs for you! :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
     
  10. fran_23

    fran_23 Well-Known Member

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    i'm so sorry to hear this hun, i dont know what to say just wanted
    to send some hugs :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
    and say you do what you feel is best for you and your daughter,
    be strong xxxxx
     
  11. Snuggle

    Snuggle Well-Known Member

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    Thank you everyone :hug:

    I have decided to move back to Scotland and start a new life with my girl. My marriage is beyond repair, we no longer make each other happy and we dont want to put up with each other for the sake of Maddison. Think its best we cut our losses now while she is too young to know whats going on. We are going to remain civil and Chris will be visiting Maddison as often as he can.

    Thank you so much for all your replies, it means a lot knowing I can always get support on here :hug: :hug: :hug:
     
  12. clairescunny55

    clairescunny55 Well-Known Member

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    sorry it didnt work out hun xx :hug: :hug:
     
  13. Nicola g

    Nicola g Well-Known Member

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  14. Bee

    Bee Well-Known Member

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  15. Slinky Sarah

    Slinky Sarah Well-Known Member

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    glad you have come to decision hun, it sounds like its best all round hun.
    Good luck :hug: :hug: :hug:
     
  16. LaineyG

    LaineyG Well-Known Member

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    Hey Snuggle!
    If you move back and want to meet up with a fellow forum mum of a little girl.....give me a shout!

    I'm going it alone (sort of.........amazingly loooooonnng story!) too, so here if you need me!

    xxx
     
  17. zebrastripes

    zebrastripes Well-Known Member

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    :hug: :hug: :hug: sorry it didn't work out for you-good luck going it alone
     
  18. Squiglet

    Squiglet Well-Known Member

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    :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: I made a similar decision when I left Tia's dad... I moved home to be closer to my family.. and... it was the best decision I could have ever made.... :hug: :hug: :hug: Your family will help you through this like no one else can... :hug: :hug:
     
  19. trixipaws

    trixipaws Well-Known Member

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    oh no, im so sorry 2 hear this snuggle :hug: :hug: :hug:

    if i were u i would go home 2 b with my family. but im really not a career girl, u and i may be very different! but thats my opinion thats what i'd do, i'd rather hav emotional support from my family than career.

    good luck whichever u decide :hug:
     
  20. mrs_tommo22

    mrs_tommo22 Well-Known Member

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    Hi hun, im going to pm you xxxxx :hug:
     

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