its over for good i think -updated 3/5/08

[Sherlock]

Have some more

I don't really have much I can offer apart from suggesting you ask him if he would seek counselling together with you, to try and work through your loss. Both of you have feelings and it would seem you've not been able to grieve together as you might need. You would appear to have grieved apart and its driven a wedge between you.

If he would consider counselling to try to talk about what has happened so you don't end up arguing or feeling like the other is angry and so on, it might help. A counsellor is impartial and you can both talk to them without involving family and friends.

He obviously has things on his mind and until he is able to work through them I doubt he'll be able to be of much good to you or himself or anyone emotionally.

Wish I could offer something more but I really don't know.

Have some more

 

[trixipaws]

IMO i wouldnt give up, BUT i think its best to really take ur time tho and be patient for him to come to terms with things in his own time
it must be very difficult hitting the balance- but thats what i'd do- stay determined and dont be disheartened if he sometimes makes it too difficult. i think in serious discussions like this its best to be very frank in that u speak exactly how it is in ur head, rather than how u would normally speak (missing out bits u think might sound silly or choosing polite ways of phrasing stuff etc)
thats how i'd be anyway, idk if it would work with you or anyone else- and i dont know either whether its the best thing to do or not. good luck anyway tho whatever u decide to do next
thanx for updating us

 

[josiegirl]

Sorry I am late coming into this and I don't know you quite as well as everyone else on the boards but I am sorry for what you are going through! Breakups hurt something terrible. You sound strong though, and you will get through it for sure. My husband and I went through a lot of problems once we had our little girl as well, I wasn't sure we would make it at first so I kind of relate.
Anyway, here's:

 

[Urchin]

Oh Tracey I don't know what support I can offer you but I just wanted to give you a hug

I hope you find a way to sort things out, it sounds like you have a lot of talking to do.

 

[x Naomi x]

I think you both need to go and see a grief councellor hun, maybe together and apart, it sound like he is really hurting and may just be closing down because he isnt coping very well

You have both gone through a dreadful loss it is bound to take its toll on your relationship

Big hugs to you hun, hope you can sort things out and become stronger

 

[Steelgoddess]

OH hon im so sorry...

This is the last thing you need at the moment I agree with the most recent posts about suggesting grief therapy.

I do think it is harder for men to express their feelings, it sounds like he is very hurt and the things you have spoken about (ie saying mean things to you, and basically being very stand offish) do sound quite familar of the male response...

Im always here for you if you need me...

 

[DaisyRose]

Hi Tracey,

I'm not sure what advice I can give you but just wanted to say how sorry I am for what you are going through and give you some s

Counselling does sound like a really good idea if you can persuade him to go (or perhaps you could go separately if he's unwilling to go together).

All the very best,

 

[Sydneysmum]

I'm so sorry to read this. I can't add much other than to agree with the others when they say that counselling may do you both good. It seems when you spoke, he was doing really well until he started opening up and then couldn't cope.

You can never know what the future holds. I had my heart horribly broken when my boy was only a few weeks old - my ears rang and I longed for my ex but he wasn't coming back. I can't pretend to have been through what you've been through but things will improve and you will be happy again

 

[Tina & Gabs]

Hi Hun

I have just seen this and I am so sorry.

I wanted to give you these and say I am here if you need me

 

[puppylove]

your in my thoughts Tracey

 

[Geordie&Bairn]

I am so sorry hunny i only just saw your up date from the other day
awww sweet heart i think as the others said the grief coulcelling is a good idea i dont think he knows how to deal with his own grief so cant be there for you either id try and suggest it to him.
i hope he agress
i wish you all the best and i hope you can both find away to comunicate with eachother and find away though you pain together

Congratulations agian on passing your NVQ level 3 course now you can do what ever you like in the field. Like you mentioned working in hospitals go for it girl you'd be fantastic!!!!! 8)

love sarah

 

[Tick-Tock]

I've only just seen this... I'm so sorry, it does sound like he is going through some reaction to his grief and can only agree with the others about possibly getting a grief counselor.....

Hope you are OK, you know where I am if you need me..

J
XX