Hi, only just seen this thread.
You are so brave and have had to go through so many emotions yet seem so focused!
What a perfect role model your little one has to look up to!
It's very difficult to comment on someone's situation with 'what you would do', reading it through, my gut feeling was for you to stay with the RAF as its such an amazing way of life and they do help and support you (from my experience in the army) I also think that keeping your independence is really gonna help you get through this! But at the end of the day only you know what feels right.
Im also excited for you as I think you will suddenly find a whole new happiness! and you have a beautiful daughter to share it with!
Lots of love and hope you all stay well and happy