Miscarriage?

[l_maclean]

i dont think they do a d & C for a 23 week old hun? nothing adds up?

she would have gone through labour, fair enough you do get to choose whether the baby is dealt with via the hospital or if you would like to bury it. But at 23/24 weeks there is so much more involved

so suprised she did this alone? so sorry too

Just realised - depending on when she had an anomly scan - could the baby have died a few weeks earlier meaning she was actually miscarrying a 19-20 week baby??

xxx

 

[CARNAT22]

If she went to hospital with bleeding at 23w she would have been seen by a MW and had the loss confirmed via a scan - I think significant bloodloss may have meant she couldn't have labour bought on BUT there is no way she'd have been given a D&C. She would have ended up with a full on emergency operation and it's unlikely she would have just walked out that same day.

Sorry to be such a doubter BUT I think it all sounds very odd?

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[dollface79]

I have to agree with Carnat, something doesn't seem right here.

 

[netty]

it doesnt add up at all, she is lying about something i would say

so odd?

 

[toscacat]

Just to correct a few things that have been said as i work in this area. It is possible to have an abortion at 23 weeks and in fact past 24 weeks if u can prove the mother is suffering significant mental harm (so not necessarily a problem with Lo but that her life would be so awful if she kept Lo) she could have been given an abortion or miscarried but either way she would have to have delivered Lo. In terms of the law and this is harsh but unless the 23 weeker shows signs of life it would still be considered as a miscarriage until 24 weeks. to be recorded as a still birth you have to be over 24 weeks. Some hospitals give certificates so that the family have something to acknowlege their little one existed. But they are not a formal birth/ death certificates and quite a few hospitals don't give anything. Especially if she had turned down photographs foot prints etc. So it is possible to have an abortion or miscarriage at 23 weeks and come away with no proof (except it would be in the medical notes) but she would have had to deliver little one so it does sound strange.

 

[CARNAT22]

Just to correct a few things that have been said as i work in this area. It is possible to have an abortion at 23 weeks and in fact past 24 weeks if u can prove the mother is suffering significant mental harm so she could have been given an abortion or miscarried but either way she would have to have delivered Lo. In terms of the law and this is harsh but unless the 23 weeker shows signs of life it would still be considered as a miscarriage until 24 weeks. Some hospitals give certificates so that the family have something to acknowlege their little one existed. But they are not a formal birth/ death certificates and quite a few hospitals don't give anything. Especially if she had turned down photographs foot prints etc. So it is possible to have an abortion or miscarriage at 23 weeks and come away with no proof (except it would be in the medical notes) but she would have had to deliver little one so it does sound strange.

In your professional capacity does what the OP describe sound feasible?

I would imagine that if the lady did lose her baby then she would have either
a) gone to hospital and have a scan confim her loss and then she would have a scheduled date to come back for the delivery
b) she has gone in with heavy bleeding and would have had an emergency operation

Neither option (IMO) would be dealt with in just one day.

The OP says the lady went into hospital with heavy bleeding on the Friday but was released the same day? Surely she would have had emergency surgery so couldn't have just walked out?

It seems that nothing was untoward with the pregnancy prior to Friday so it was either a lie or a scehduled termination.

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[netty]

wow past 24 weeks really! thats awful

 

[netty]

was either a lie or a scehduled termination.

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i fear its the latter

 

[CARNAT22]

i fear its the latter

Based on what the OP has said I am inclined to agree.

 

[Rlmobbs]

None of it adds up- he said he wants proof that she had a miscarriage but she won't do it. She is willing for thier relationship to be over and for him
To be thinking of her as murdering their baby then actually just take him to the doctors or something to prove it to him.

 

[toscacat]

I know its awful. I only found out about post 24 weeks this week and its harsh but it does happen but there is lots of councilling and psychoanalysis etc. I would say if she went in bleeding I wouldn't have thought it would have been dealt with in one day unless she went in early hours Fri am bled delivered and signed her self out late evening. I have seen people who do that as they just want to get put but she would need her postnatal check etc still at 6weeks. If it was a termination then posibly but she would have had to ne induced which can take days sometimes. Her medical notes would be the only way to know for sure.

 

[toscacat]

He could try and go with her for her postnatal check and see what is said?

 

[CARNAT22]

None of it adds up- he said he wants proof that she had a miscarriage but she won't do it. She is willing for thier relationship to be over and for him
To be thinking of her as murdering their baby then actually just take him to the doctors or something to prove it to him.

I guess it all comes down to trust doesn't it? I don't know the state of the relationship between the man and woman in question (were they officially "together"?) but if the worst was to happen with me I'd want my OH by my side...

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[cosmicgirl]

I read today about a lady who had a termination at 23 weeks then 4 at 12 weeks. Sad but legal in the uk x

 

[mrsbedders]

Maybe she is still pregnant and just trying to get rid of her oh and have the baby all by herself? Harsh but is a possibility? Awful whatever the reason xx

 

[CARNAT22]

I read today about a lady who had a termination at 23 weeks then 4 at 12 weeks. Sad but legal in the uk x

You have to worry about the mental state of the women?

I am pro-choice as a rule but late abortions (for non medical reasons) and multiple abortions really have a profound effect on me.

I don't understand how someone can carry a child and then decide they don't want it? Similarly I cannot understand why a woman would put herself through the ordeal of repeated abortion?

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[Kezzipea]

Did she have a bump?
Is there anyway POSSIBLE that she infact MC'd her baby weeks PRIOR to all this and didnt want to admit it or come to terms with it and so didnt tell anyone and carried on astho everything normal?
Then maybe after a few weeks after it finally hit her she knew she had to do or say something and so resorted to lying about the timing (and not doin enuf research beforehand?)
I just dont think i can accept someone doing this with a clear head?
I duno something sounds off???
It'd be a shame if we're all jumped to negative conclusions if the girl actually has been thru something geniunely traumatic and not felt 'sane' enuf to confide in anyone or come to terms with it?
Any conclusion is not nice tho.

Eeeeeeeeeeek wat an awful predicament.....
Wats ur gut feeling about it all Rlmobbs??
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[Rlmobbs]

I really want to believe her but the more I talk to her the stranger it sounds. My gut feeling is abortion

 

[Kezzipea]

I know it sounds like a weird question with a maybe obvious answer...
but does she act/sound upset?

x

 

[Princess81]

Appreciate you are trying to get to the bottom if this but please steer clear of abortion talk, it's against forum rules