May 2017 Mummies

[Eryinera]

I second everything snowbee says. Luckiky we don't have those issues we've been together since we were 16 and not working so we went straight into having joint everything from then. But he should be helping. Having a joint credit card and bring open about finances I feel is a must with a baby involved or at least a joint account you both put like 5% or 10% etc of what you earn each month into it. So that you both pay what you can relative to what you earn and any leftovers can be a savings account for her? but maybe that's just down to how me and hubby have always done it? My parents had joint everything as did my grandparents etc so it didn't give it a second thought!
I missed the post about your dog Emily. So sorry to hear that. And gesic such cute photos I may have to steal that idea! And im glad I'm not the only one with a fake cougher!
Anya has also learned how to blow raspberries and she does it allll the time so much so she drenches her clothes and I worry about her becoming dehydrated! The worst is when she does it with food in her mouth! We're trying to not pay it too much attention even though it's so darn cute and trying to teach her to blow kisses instead which she's slowly starting to do. Any one else have the raspberry issue?

 

[Eryinera]

Oh and for the first time in a very very long time I finally got back to one of my hobbies of nail art I'm quite pleased with the results. I need to tidy up a little bit in this picture but I was waiting for the top coat to dry before I did lol. And a few pics of anya on Halloween lol rocking mummy's witches hat.... suits her more than me lol

 

[gesic]

We have no raspberries but she does purse her lips and blow bubbles with spit quite frequently which is so delightful lol.
Lisey your not a witch, its perfectly reasonable to expect more help both financially and physically. I can totally see where you are coming from as we are in a similar situation. I am getting smp so therefore I am paid to look after her...his words! He works from home and also does not have a demanding job and will not consider a joint bank account! I have learned to be quite blunt, not easy and does cause friction but in the long run he knows we either compromise or he will lose us. I know its hard broaching a subject that you immediately see the other party getting on the defensive but you do need to resolve this otherwise your relationship will become more and more toxic and that does none of you any good....a bit of sulking in the short term might be worth it. I am loving the idea of a joint baby account with percentage of earnings I will suggest that one to my other half!

 

[lisey]

Thanks, I do need to address it as just causing resentment on my part. I think a joint account is the way to go and still have separate ones too. I never want out money completely joint but for food and baby stuff it would be good.
Love the photos btw, we are going for a Christmas mini shoot tomorrow, could be interesting as Sophie wants to eat everything in sight xx

 

[snowbee]

I would start by putting all household shopping on joint, including toiletries and her special foods. If he is unwilling then just say sophie needs this food., please either go and buy it or put the money for it here and I will get it. I don't think they realise the difference between mat pay and regular pay and that you can't carry on as before. Luckily we sorted the financial side when we moved in together so at least we are on the same page with that. Looking forward to seeing the photos!

My husband is not good with coming home from work, he finds it hard to switch off and thinks not being there is lazy, so it is a challenge for him to come home and spend time with us. He does enjoy it when he manages it though, so I'm just hoping he can make it work coming home early. We will see.

 

[lisey]

Well I spoke about it all last night. I asked him of he could help to pay for Sophies new term at the music class that she loves and he kind of sighed and said he has so much to pay out. I thought perfect opportunity to let him know what I was thinking.
He did get defensive and huffy but came out of that after a while. We don't have a plan as such but I feel I can broach the subject better now. I did suggest a joint account again. He says I have said before that I would pay for all her clothes and toys because he gets the food!! I really can't imagine I would have said that. My dog alone costs me 100 a month!! It all feels more relaxed with less tension now though which is nice.
We are off to have her photos done soon, can't wait to see them, got her a beautiful dress, she looks like a little fairy in it. My mother in law says she doesn't see the point in it and it's a waste of money . Good job it's not her money or her child to make decisions about! Xx

 

[gesic]

Glad you have managed to bring up the subject and get those grievances out in the open, hopefully you can now make a fairer plan and move forward. Communication is key though with any relationship, I have an awful habit of shutting down and just acting generally annoyed and he never knows why as he is a man and never see's any of the issues I do lol. I have had to learn to be more direct as although its infuriating that he cannot see a problem he never will unless I am as subtle as a brick!
I mentioned the joint account for Ayda and although yes he was again defensive he did relent and say we would look at this when I go back to work (that's not till April!) but baby steps and all that.
Enjoy the photo shoot, it IS money well spent, they are changing so much all of the time its important to capture these moment's when you can. xx

 

[Emily0505]

Glad you've chatted to hubby and cleared the air. What's Sophie's dress like?

We've got a joint account that we both pay all our wages into and all our bills, food, kids stuff, spending money etc all comes out from.

XX

 

[lisey]

Gesic, I am exactly the same. I tend to shut down and just get more and more wound up. Today has been so much better.

I will try attach pic of dress, she looked beautiful in it xx

Won't let me upload, will try from laptop at some point.

 

[Eryinera]

Aww glad it's more out in the open. I'm having a shit time at the moment an accident I had last year has now resulted in me having to go to court and as I'm not on my heart tablets due to breastfeeding feeding I keep getting heart issues painful palpitations its making me nervous and panicy and I don't know what to do. Bit blah. I don't know if I should make a docs appointment. They wouldn't be able to do anything though. I just feel like I'm starting to suffer from anxiety or something.
Can't wait to see your pics though x x

 

[lisey]

Oh ery, that sounds stressful. I would go to the doctors just to talk it through and see what they suggest. Anxiety is horrible. I suffer with it on and off and have done for years, it has caused palpitations and breathing issues for me where I felt like I couldn't catch my breath, was a scary feeling. I hope it gets sorted quickly xx

 

[Eryinera]

I think you're right. I was lay in bed and my pulse shot up to 101bpm literally just lay there. It's back to normal now though. I think I've gone through every emotion since getting that letter it's ridicules. Really spoilt xmas/birthday/new year grr

 

[Mayday17]

Hi everyone hope you and babies are all well... I haven't been on here in forever so know way il get caught up with everything Iv missed! My wee guy is constant work! Lol. He's 6 and a half months now and into everything! He's crawling, rolling, pulling himself up onto his feet and into everything he's not allowed to be ���� still doesn't sleep through the night read a lot of people on my Facebook saying routine is key but I'm not convinced. Saying that my daughter was a million times worse for sleeping than Joe so can't complain .... still no teeth but lots of chewing everything and drooling! Due back at work in January so that is currently my biggest stress!! X

 

[missyeovil]

Ery what pills was it? They've put me on propranolol? recently for anxiety attacks which is a beta blocker apparently but said it would be okay with breastfeeding. I haven't been taking a full dose tbh but have been told it's fine and only potential problem with Oli is he might be more sleepy? He doesn't sleep though so clearly not haha. Xx

 

[Emily0505]

Aww Ery that does sound stressful. I'd deffo see the gp and see if there's anything they can do to help.

I think I'll be spending the festive period job hunting! My paid leave ends at the end of January so I'll need to hand my notice in at the start of Jan ready to start a new job when my paid leave ends. Rubbish timing! But hey ho, nothing i can do about it!

XX

 

[Dovekie]

Hi Mayday, nice to hear from you. And hi everyone else! Hope you and the baby’s are ok.

I think Owen is starting to sleep through. He’s been having one feed in the night for months now, but in the last couple of weeks, and last few nights, he’s slept through a few times. I didn’t do anything - he decides when he sleeps and for how long. He’s also been talking since he was four months. He’s said “mama, Mammy, hiya, Granda, baba, dada”. He can roll onto his belly and occasionally all the way. He’s not good on his feet, but he is quite heavy. He’s five and a half months now. Introducing solids slowly at the moment too.

 

[kabuk1]

lisey, glad talking through has helped. We don't do joint accounts, but my dw is now supplementing my maternity and will transfer fund each month in Feb when I no longer get mat pay. She also pays for everything but the bills at the moment. Her transferring money to my account will cover those and then some so I can still get out with Aidan. She pays for his swimming too.

Dove, so jealous. Aidan's sleep has gotten even worse.

Aidan is killing me at night. He was such a good sleeper up to about 4-4.5 months, and then it went to hell. It seems to keep getting worse. We had a few goo nights recently- not feeding to sleep, sleeping in 3 hour blocks and only coming into bed with me around 5-5.30. But now he is refusing to sleep in his cot. He gets all hysterical, even when I stay with him. I've had to put him to bed in his buggy so I can have some down time and dinner. He'll sleep 3-4 hours and then refuse to go into cot after feed. Co-sleeping all night is killing my back. He's got his 5th tooth coming through as well, another bottom one. I can feel tip, so it's just cit through. Could this be separation anxiety already? At home I can leave the room and he's okay with other people, but when he is tried, he will fuss if I'm not there.

On a more cheerful note, we went to the Bach to Baby Christmas concert and he went dressed as my little elf.

 

[lisey]

Oh my goodness, he is an adorable little elf!!
I think my OH is going to have to do the same when pay ends, which is middle of Jan, he says all I need to do is ask but I find it a bit demeaning to ask for money as I am usually so self-sufficient and independent. I would rather him just transfer some over each month x

nice to hear from you mayday and good luck with the job hunting Emily x
.
Dovekie, sounds like he is doing so well, Jewish Sophie would sleep through x

 

[Dovekie]

Does he have regular naps through the day kabuk? Owen has three now, at the same times, approximately, each day, and usually around 45 minutes.

 

[kabuk1]

I hate asking, too lisey, which is why she suggested the transfers. I don't even like asking for Aidan. The only thing I miss from work on mat leave is the pay. I'm not missing work at all. I'm really enjoying being home with Aidan.

Dovekie, he has 3 naps a day, generally around the same time. Time varies depending on when he wakes up in the morning, but he generally naps after being awake for about 2 hours. He naps really well in the day- at least 2x 1 hours naps and 1x 1.5 hour nap. It's just the night time, and he's clearly tired. It doesn't matter how early I catch the signs, he just don't like to sleep at night. He's fine in bed with me, but would prefer he sleeps most of the night in his cot.