May 2017 Mummies

[lisey]

I don't want to co-sleep but she ends up in with us eventually as I can't take the repeated visits to the cot. She still feeds to sleep and wakes in the night for comfort feeds so it's easier to have her in the bed. I know it's not milk she wants, it's me and the comfort from feeding. I try to break the cycle but it feels impossible xx

 

[Emily0505]

Eleanor was in with us all night last night! I had a meeting in the evening and put her to bed before I left but she woke up not long before I was heading out the door. She was still wide awake at 9 when I got home! Then spent the next hour fussing and fidgeting and fighting her sleep so I went and lay down on the bed with her and she eventually fell asleep and there she stayed. I don't really sleep any better when she's in our bed as I'm aching from being in the same position near enough all night but I guess it's slightly better than having to trapse back and forwards to her room all night!

That's the second time I've left her since she was born and both times she was a nightmare! There goes my social life for the foreseeable future

XX

 

[lisey]

Oh I know that feeling, I am stuck in same position when she's in the bed, so achey sometimes.
I am actually a bit worried about how Sophie will be when it comes to me gping back to work, I haven't left her yet as can't. Mainly because she won't take a bottle so I have to be with her for her feeds but also because she is very clingy. My mother in law was going to have her for some of the time, prob one or two days but Sophie has a funny thing about her. She is always a bit reluctant with most people but She is especially fussy with mother in law and we don't really know why. I am going to request reduction in my hours but I still worry how she'll cope. People say "Oh she will just have to get used to it". I'm not really keen on the idea of her crying and screaming whilst I'm gone xx

 

[Emily0505]

I have no idea what I'm going to do about work as they've refused my request for flexible hours proposal.

Got a headache and visual disturbances this morning and got to take the dog to the vets later and not sure what the outcome will be.

Eleanor has got a cough.

All in all not the best if days.



XX

 

[lisey]

Oh I hope your dog will be ok xx

When was you planning on going back? I am planning on April, so am not sure when to request a reduction in hours? and not even sure how to? do I ask for a meeting? put the request in writing first? I just don't know.

I hope you and Eleanor both feel better x

 

[Emily0505]

End of Jan, when my paid leave runs out.

I think they can take up to 14 weeks to decide so as long as you give them enough notice to cover that. I had a proper form to fill in and send back.

XX

 

[Rachel82]

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[lisey]

I should maybe ask the school receptionist/manager, I know they are very short staffed at the moment and the idea of someone asking to shorten hours will probably horrify them. Maybe I should hold off until the staffing issues are resolved a bit xx

 

[snowbee]

I think I would ask sooner rather than later. My pay runs out in Jan. I'm probably not going back until May though (and I only work part time anyway), which is busy time at work. If I had a 'proper' job and wasn't doing it to help out my husband I would really want to be a full time sahm. Luckily most of my work I will be able to have him with me, so that is a bonus. He is only eating from me and I want to carry on feeding at the moment too.

Hope you are all ok Emily, dog too.

 

[nikkix86]

i started working when aria was 3 months! only because i had to tho for money. really dont want to work feel like im missing out on her.

should i be worried that she cant roll yet? she can sit up sometimes she still wobbles over tho lol she hates tummy time but she still cant roll over and she doesnt respond to her name lol

 

[snowbee]

7 months for us next week and no rolling here, not even attempting to. I'm not worried, he will do it in his own time. He does respond to his name, but only if he isn't doing something more interesting!

 

[nikkix86]

oh good ill stop worrying then lol she gets her legs all the way over but cant quite swing her back and head round maybe shes not quite strong enough yet

 

[Emily0505]

I wish Eleanor wasn't rolling!! Nappy changes are a bloody nightmare as she just won't lie still!! She's pooped like 46435 times today so it's been a tough day trying to keep her still to change her.

She's got a bit of a tummy upset and a cough. She's had two pretty big coughing fits today that ended with her throwing up on me! Joy!

Our dog is still with us. She's on antibiotics and we've got to soak her food but it's all just short term measures and we've got to decide whether or not we're going to put her through a dental.

I'm trying playing white noise in Eleanor's room to see if it helps her sleep. Fingers crossed!

I could really do with a night of unbroken sleep or the very least maybe just one get up! It's been such a tough day I've resorted to eating chocolate chips from my baking cupboard as that's all the chocolate i had in the house!! Lol!!

Here's hoping for a better day tomorrow.

XX

 

[kabuk1]

Aidan was a nightmare last night. He just screamed. Poor little guy hasn't gotten a break from teething since it started properly around 4.5 months. His entire mouth looks primed for all his teeth to come through. The fourth poked through last night, so that may explain his fussiness. We ended up co-sleeping. It still wasn't an easy night. I was regularly woken up by Aidan as he clawed at me to find the boob.

He is sleeping better so far tonight, but it's been a busy day. After playtime at the support group everyone came back to time for some pumpkin treats. So he is exhausted from all the adults and babies being in his space, which he wasn't too thrilled with at first. Hopefully he sleeps better throughout tonight.

 

[kabuk1]

We just booked our first nursery visit. It's a new one linked to a well established independent school in the area and only £65 per day, which is quite good after some of the prices I've seen. I'm just worried they're going to make us go year round. The ideal situation would be during term time only.

I need to let me work know that I won't be returning. Technically my mat leave ends around the same time my contract ends- they didn't want to give me a permanent one, so there shouldn't be any problems. But I need to let them know so they can look to fill my position. I just can't live with spending 3 hours a day traveling when I could spend at least half of that time with my son. Plus the nurseries we are looking at have a pick up of 6:30 at the latest, and that would be a hard push for me. The sucky part is that means I'll be starting the applying and interview process once job openings come up around Easter, the deadline for notices for those intending not to return to post in Sept. I'm hoping for a 3 day a week job (Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday). If worse comes to worse , I'll supply. I really want to switch to Primary, but I can't do that 3 days a week.

 

[Eryinera]

Wow so much going on. Anya learned to roll on holiday in Oct we still have no teeth and she's still quite happy to get herself to sleep in her own (travel) cot as her full cot doesn't fit in our bedroom she's still feeding lots through through the night too but not much milk in through the day. I think it's coz I went back to work earlier and she prefers boob to bottle. She's very fussy about bottle. Only aptilmil pretty made stage 1.... not stage 2..... not powdered into milk.... not and my other brand..... just aptimil stage 1 premade..... the little diva lol.
Also she's well and truly told us she is not one for BLW..... she screws up her face coughs (fake coughs little miss) and spits it out. Yet she eill scream if she doesn't get her porridge for breakfast savoury puree for dinner and fruit puree for tea. We have eventually persuaded her to have a rusk at tea now too. But we dared give her mash potato and carrots and she did an exorcist at us and was like.... oh no you don't. .. ... lol (basicall she fake coughed at us until she threw up) she also tells me when it's time for her bed. And she's fast asleep next to me now!!
God knows what we when I'll do in may when hubby goes back to work. Either he gets put on a rota where he's doing the same every week and I try to negotiate the opposite hours at my work or I give up my job and find something else. Even though my wage is higher with his job we get free Internet landline digital boxes and mobile phones so and lot to give up and lots pay for!!! I just get half price vacuums lol I may try and work at tesco so I can get 10% off food shopping....... until she's nursey age then I train to be an accountant. (But I'm winning the lottery in a few weeks so I won't have to think about things like that lol honestly!)

My friend has her baby a few days ago it ended up in ago c-section baby was 10lb 5.5oz
Ouch glad it was a sunroof delivery! Anya was 10lb 8 at 9 weeks! She's only 14lb 7 now at 6 months.

 

[gesic]

We have the fake coughing too lol
We are experimenting with foods but she is a fuss pot, she will only have smooth textures. We tried some melon and some cucumber...me thinking they are the most inoffensive things to offer ever, I was wrong!
Milk still a struggle as am still trying to get 5 bottles in over the 24 hours yet she sleeps longer at night which is good but then trying to squeeze 5 bottles of a decent volume in through the rest of the day is proving quite difficult! She is now just over 14 pounds and doesn't look underfed but she is not a chubby baby.
We are also viewing our 1st nursery on Monday, not sure how I will feel as struggle to trust anyone to look after her and I know I need to as not going back to work is not an option. I thought our nursery prices were high lol most work out at about five pounds an hour plus extras ie milk/food etc (the one we are viewing is 49/day 8am-6pm inc nappies wipes all meals and snacks!) a hoping it fits the bill as price wise I do not want to pay much more!
Had a bit of a Christmassy picture shoot the other day in the hope of using for Christmas cards, she was dog tired (but she is very nosey and often fights daytime naps if stuff going on!) not many smiley ones but she is still very cute (am very biased lol)
sorry to hear about your dog Emily, if your at that stage I would possibly consider risking it (not knowing the history) x

 

[lisey]

Apologies as a little rant time from me.

Does anyone else feel their feelings have changed towards their other halves since baby has arrived? I really thought my OH would be great and hands on but he isn't. He might hold her for a maximum of half hour in a day. When he does hold her he might be on his phone or watching tv. I end up taking her back again as she gets bored and he does nothing to entertain her. He will interact sometimes but not for long.
He comes home at 4, cooks dinner and then either watches tv, pops to his parents for a couple of hours or to his friends for the eve.
In the 6 months she has been here, I have popped to Sainsbury's local alone once for 10 minutes! I have had no down time whatsoever, I rarely sit and sometimes don't even have time to eat. All the while, he is relaxing.
He also doesn't help me with money. We don't have a joint account. He earns very well and I am only part time and a low wage. Now on stat maternity pay...I pay for everything for our dog who has epilepsy so additional monthly costs, I pay for everything for myself, Sophie and my son. I have bought every toy and every item of her clothing. I have also got all their Christmas presents. He pays for food and rent etc but he earns very well so in comparison, I am taking on more. Am I out of line for this bothering me?
I know I should speak to him about it but he gets so sulky with any criticism that it's easier to stay quiet about it as it will irritate me. I am getting to the point where I think I'd rather do it on my own, I pretty much am!
Maybe I am just tired...

 

[snowbee]

I had a small rant at my husband this week. He is really good with G in general but he has only had 4 days off since he has been born and he is never home before 9pm so he doesn't spend much time with either of us. He will then play with G but leaves me to do all the household jobs in that hour before bed so I never have any down time. We didn't really reach a conclusion but I said he needs to come home at 7 at least 4 days a week (he is self employed so by altering his time management he could do this).

I would show him how to spend time with her, how to play etc as sometimes I think they don't really know what to do with a baby. I did tell my husband off for messing about playing a computer game instead of playing properly with him, he has so little time with him I think he needs to make the most of it, he has been better since.

I don't think you are being unreasonable about money either lisey, he needs to step up and pay for more. Would you consider having a joint account for household and child expenses for a start? We have separate current accounts, a joint savings account and we have a joint credit card that we pay in full each month that I put the food, nappies etc on. Clothes I split between the joint and my own money, just as things are really tight for us and sometimes I want to spend more than my husband would want to.

Gesic those photos are super cute!

 

[lisey]

Thanks so much for your lovely reply, I thought I may come across like a witch.
It seems priorities are so different for them. I think he is just lazy, he has a sit down job so not like he is physically active all day and needs rest.
I kept going on about a joint account before she was born but he would never fully commit to the idea and said we could just both pay for stuff but it turns out I pay for most. Even shopping wise I get all her dairy free stuff her food, washing powder and toiletries etc. He just gets the main food shopping. I have a savings account that is dwindling and he told me the other day he has upped the amount he is saving and it's quite alot. I told him I didn't have much to last until payday but he hasn't offered anything. I am starting to dislike him as he is letting me struggle whilst he seems pretty comfortable. If things don't change then that will be it for us. I just dont feel i get support in any aspect from him.
I'm glad things have improved since you told your husband snowbee and it sounds perfectly reasonable to have him come home earlier a few days a week. This is when so much of the binding happens xx