May 2017 Mummies

[Eryinera]

Happy 5 week day Eleanor x (and the rest of you)

 

[BettyHoop]

I'm not sure? I guess it could! I've not got enough to try any and see! Lol!

Look at how cute!!

XX

OMG she is so cute I almost can't bear it! Despite how difficult they've been we've all got very cute children! Xx

 

[Emily0505]

I didn't mean that you have OND but just that talking things through might help you come to terms with what you went through. If you don't think it will help then fair enough, you know better than anyone what you need. I just wanted to mention it as an option in case you didn't know it was available to you.

If bubs has been feeding all day then hopefully that will help your supply boost up a bit. If you think it's low then maybe try taking fenugreek to help?

I'm wondering if perhaps I need a different flange size to pump with? Going to measure my nips tomorrow and see. Could be that's what the issue is when it comes to pumping? Or at least it might help a bit? Think it might be another straw to clutch at but for the sake of £13 odd quid it's worth a try! Just need to find a tape measure now!

XX

Do you know if there is a time limit on the birth debrief thing? And do you get fenugreek supplements or just take the seeds? Xx

I'm not sure on the time limit but I had Cam in August and wasn't diagnosed with PND until a few months later and it was not a problem when I called and arranged it.

I take Fenugreek capsules that I got from Holland and Barret. Reminds me, I need to take my lunchtime dose!

XX

 

[Eryinera]

M

I'll check out those pills, thanks.

Am I missing out on the cluster feeds? Owen is feeding every 2-3 hours. I realised that if he wants it earlier than this then he'll vomit it up, as he just wanted something to suck/some comfort. How will I know if it's actually a cluster feed and I should give him some?

Not at all! Cluster feeds are time consuming and annoying lol.


I'm now fairly sure I keep peeing myself great another thing to deal with lol.

Also my son isn't reacting well to not being so spoilt. I'm glad in a way it's happening now. His attitude and behaviour were getting g out of hand but with my health issues and all the losses we let it slide but now we are clamping down on it and he's not liking it. His excuse for everything is he's being bullied at school well whoop de do doesn't give you the right to sit on your arse playing video games and not help give out round the house and refusing to do your homework guess what boy a lot of people are bullied it's not nice but you deal with it the teachers are involved as are parents and your not bring bullied at home so get your finger out you backside drop the woe is me act and do your bloody homework (or I too harsh?!) Argh he's been grounded in his room for the first time since he was a toddler.

 

[snowbee]

Emily she looks so grown up! We only have sleepsuits and vests, no 'proper' outfits.

G is fast asleep on my knee. Bet if I put him down he screams!

 

[Eryinera]

She's been really alert ad interactive today especially to music she's Bern dancing to tick and nets so cute!

 

[lisey]

Emily, she is adorable. Love the outfit. Sophie has a full wardrobe and still want to get more.
Ery, where is that bra from? Also, I just realised from your ticker that our son's have same name, just spelt differently, just one n in my son's name.

Kabuk, amazing figure, I am sure you will get back there. I can't wait to get toned, i looked at some pics the other day of when I was getting fit and was depressing how far I need to get back there. My little Soph is worth it though.

 

[BettyHoop]

I've spent since 2am with a crying daisy again today. It's just constant. When she's awake she's crying. She's slept about two hours since 2am and the rest has been crying. We try everything. I just feel so destroyed. A difficult pregnancy off the back of a mmc, the most traumatic birth I could have imagined and now this. We've been to the Dr's and he reckons she's fine. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I hardly even manage to drink any water in a day. Forget washing or getting dressed! Is it supposed to be like this? I thought you at least got a little joy in a day with a baby but this is just hell, I hate to say it. I can't see me and oh relationship lasting much longer like this either. Xx

 

[Emily0505]

Oh Betty

Have a look into cranial osteopathy. Might help? I've just had a quick Google and lots of people said their little ones were really unsettled after a traumatic birth and cranial osteopathy worked for them.

I've no personal experience but if you're in dire straights then anything is worth a try.

XX

 

[lisey]

Oh Betty, sounds like you're having a difficult time. It's so hard when they keep crying. Maybe speak to health visitor about it as I am sure will be more helpful than doctor xx

 

[Eryinera]

I was a difficult baby. There wasn't anything diagnosed wrong with me but if I was awake I was crying. I'd Def try infacol and gripe water for me we suspect I had silent reflux as most my family has it. But if I've learnt anything from Russellmuscle it's keep going back and don't take no for an answer!

I hope it eases for you soon x

Lisey it's from jlp (John Lewis) £35 for 2 but I think there areally cheaper ones too. Crazy about the name too!

 

[BettyHoop]

The health visitor basically said the same as the dr. And she does seem healthy in all other respects. We have infacol and I've ordered colief to try tomorrow too. Thank God for Amazon prime. I've sent oh off to the neighbours for some chill time - they are having a dinner party we were both meant to be going to, no way am I going with a purple faced screaming baby! She's stopped now luckily, first time she's slept since about 10am! She must be exhausted poor thing. I feel so rubbish that I can't help. I get a bit anxious now when oh isn't here as I'm not coping very well on my own. I'd moved back in with him and was enjoying sharing a bed again bit I've had to move back into the spare room as she's up all night and I can't get her down. I really don't know how much more of this I can take. I feel weak for saying I'm at my limit and my baby isn't even three weeks old! I feel like perhaps I shouldn't have become a mum as I'm not up to it :/ xx

 

[Emily0505]

Oh sweetheart, you poor thing.

You're an amazing mummy and don't you ever think otherwise! You're exhausted and have just been through a traumatic birth and have a very demanding baby. You're not doing anything wrong though.

If you're struggling then ask for help, get a friend or family member to look after her for a couple of hours so you can sleep, ask if someone can cook a few meals and drop then off or make up some lunches ready so you can just grab them. Dont feel bad or like a failure for asking for help, it takes someone strong to admit that they are struggling and people will be more than happy to help - everyone loves to feel useful!
Everything always seems worse when you're tired and run down. Sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture so don't under estimate the effect it can have.

You are not weak, you are totally able to be and are a brilliant mummy. These early days are tough but it will all slot into place and get easier. Ask for help though hun, you won't get a medal for struggling through on your own.

Just to add, if you feel like you are reaching your limit, pop Daisy somewhere safe and step out for a few minutes to calm down and catch your breath.

Big hugs hun. You're doing an amazing job and don't you ever forget it!!

XX

 

[babybee]

BettyHoop, sorry to butt in but I just saw your last few posts and want to give you the biggest hug ever. Unexplained crying is so hideous and my second daughter was very very fussy so you have my complete sympathy. I don't know your whole story but is it painful when she feeds? Has she ever been checked for tongue tie...by an actual lactation consultant? I ask because midwives/health visitors and even gps often miss it. My friend's little girl was checked 3 times by midwives and a gp and only when she was 4 months old was she diagnosed with tongue tie.
Have you also tried baby massage? It was a huge help with my fussy baby.
Something I found particularly helpful was drinking around 3 cups of fennel tea a day. It did wonders for all 3 of their bellies.
Also there has recently been research to suggest purple crying isnt always linked to the tummy, sometimes it's the head. Sometimes the way they are born can cause discomfort so something like cranial oestopathy like someone suggested might be worth a shot? Some children's centers offer free half hour sessions.

I hope she settles soon, its horrible! Dont be afraid of going out of the house with a crying baby, baby groups are totally used to that and you may get tips from mums who have recently been in your position or currently are in your position...in which case you can sit and chat and drown your sorrows in cake and coffee.xx

 

[Eryinera]

Totally agree with Emily. You're doing an amazing job hun it can be extremely hard with a demanding baby. There was a baby in the bed next to me at the hospital that kept crying all night and I was at my wits end and that was one night!

I hope baby sleeps well enough for you to get some sleep the exhaustion and sleep depraviton is probably overwhelming by now. Get help where you can and try taking her out whgn you ferl up to it. My parents found the only way to settle me was in the car.

Being a mum is tough especially with a fussy kid but it will be worth it in the end x

 

[lisey]

Betty what the ladies have said is totally right. You are doing an amazing job and are a wonderful mum. Lack of sleep will make you feel awful. Like the others said, ask some people for help, a little break to sleep, eat and shower etc.
Sophie was quite fussy to begin with, she didn't cry constantly but she would if she was put down or given to someone else. I had to hold her all the time, I wasn't able to eat or do anything really. She has got a lot better and your little one will too. It won't go on forever, even though it feels endless at the moment.

Maybe speak to the doctor or health visitor about how you're feeling emotionally too as all the stress and lack of sleep could contribute to feelings of depression.
Sending you a big hug and I do hope you get some sleep tonight xx

 

[littlestar2]

Sorry, I'm not in this group, but I couldn't not comment. Betty, I'm not sure if you're breastfeeding or bottle feeding, but I'd definitely see if eliminating cows milk helps. If you're breastfeeding try avoiding cows milk yourself and if it's formula try a dairy free one. Health visitors and Dr's really don't take sensitivity to cows milk seriously but it seems to affect so many babies, especially in the first year. There's lots of different things to try, medicine for acid reflux, medicine for colic, avoiding cows milk. It's just finding out which one works. Good luck with it all.

 

[kabuk1]

Since posting this I think we have identified a couple of things. I think she feeds on me even when nothing comes out so she ends up hungry when I feel like she's been constantly feeding so I thought she must be full. So we've started topping up with formula which has made a difference in the last 12 hours or so. She is also quite a windy baby and needs a lot of help getting wind up. Not sure it's as bad as colic but definitely very bad wind at least.

Daisy doesn't like to lay flat on her back because of the wind. I'm struggling so so much to get any sleep or any time away from her, to the point where I got told off by the health visitor for not looking after myself! This is seriously hard and I just wonder how on earth anyone does this with other commitments like other children or on their own. I would hardly meet my basic needs if my oh wasn't here, how do I cope when he goes back to work next week?! I've been told daisy does seem exceptionally fussy. I'm still in so much pain that being pinned down by her for hours on end is horribly painful and stressful. I hope it gets easier soon! Xx

Betty, I'm using the cocoonababy. It offers a little lift so the baby doesn't lie flat, which is suppose to help for reflux. They aren't cheap new. I got mine on ebay for £30 when the retail for about £160. It's good until the baby starts to roll over. It might be worth looking into. Hope your little one starts sleeping better as you do need to take care of yourself.

I'm exhausted. Aidan took both of us to the edge last night. He was overtired but wouldn't sleep. He would scream and get himself all upset. My dw managed to get him to sleep, but within 5 mins of putting him down, he screamed his head off. She tried feeding him, but he didn't finish the bottle. I do think it's the heat. It has him uncomfortable and upset so he wants to be attached to me, but then that isn't comfortable because of the body heat. He eventually slept just over 4 hours straight and then another 1.5 hours, but then wouldn't go back to sleep. This is where it's difficult because he'll be up for an hour or so before going back to sleep for a long morning sleep, usually 3 hours, but by this point I'm too awake to fall back asleep and the sun is already pouring into the living room. My dw really struggled with hr first week back at work and had a migraine midweek. She has a restless sleep yesterday because Aidan likes to grunt a lot in his sleep. With the heat and lack of sleep, we're both exhausted. It looks like this heat is here to stay for awhile. I just need him to sleep at night. I really struggle to sleep in the day. I may try and nap in the bed after our afternoon walk to prepare for a long night. We have semi-blackout curtains in there, so maybe I can sleep. Although the sun hits the bedroom midday.

 

[Rachel82]

Oh Betty, it's so hard isn't it. Please don't think that you shouldn't have been a mum though. You're doing a brilliant job.
I would definitely start using the Infacol. I was feeling the same way as you for the first week and a half or so. I was struggling with my section recovery and Harper was very unsettled after feeds. I would sit crying at night wishing I hadn't had her. Then I started feeling a bit better in myself and the Infacol started working. Harper was still struggling with reflux but I felt much more able to cope. We've just last night switched her two bottle feeds to SMA Staydown and we had no nighttime vomiting. Now I feel so much better and am so happy we had her.
What I'm trying to get at is that things will improve and get easier. I would get some advice from your GP or HV. Are you breast or bottle feeding? It might be that a milk change will help or if she's struggling with silent reflux for example then the GP will be able to prescribe something for that. As you start feeling better in yourself it will start to feel easier too, believe me.

 

[kabuk1]

It looks like my little monkey is going to sleep all day and be fussy at night again. He's back down for a nap for the second time this morning. We'll see how long he sleeps for this time.

Betty, it can be really tough. Every baby is different, but most go through periods that are very trying on the parents. I've spent plenty of nights crying, and right now it's even more trying during the week as I have him all day and night. My dw helps as much as possible, but she's only really home for 4-5 hours before she's off to bed. Even her help then makes a huge difference. Try to find someone willing to help, even if it's just an hour or 2 so you can get some you time. It's rough. When he is sleeping during the day I'm always torn. I know I should sleep, but I find it difficult, so I usually take a shower then and prepare different snacks that are easy to grab. If you feel up to it, getting out with her for even just a short walk helps break up the day and calm her. The upside to city living right now for me is that I can walk to a coffee shop and he'll usually fall asleep on the way there and then sleep the entire time we're there. I usually take my laptop and hang out there until he wakes, then feed him and head home. The journey home helps to calm him. I don't get any sleep, but I do get down time. I really hope she starts to settle and you find some help. Things will get easier eventually.