*March and April mums and babies*

[Allthingsgirly]

Glad im not the only one going threw this i thought i was being an awful person but some people just don't get it do they? I want to say something to her but i just know she will go off in a huff turn herself into a victim & bad mouth me! I dread her coming over i feel like i can't be a mom when she is around or when she does come & i'm going out it's like i should stay in. Why should i ?! Why is it okay for her to come over unnounced & expect me to stay in how is that fair?! She's acting like she is his mother or grandma my own parents aren't doing what she does but i feel i can't say anything & it is making me down & angry!!

The other day when she was here i put him down to sleep the least little noise she here she is by his pram instead of putting his soother in & coming away she is stood their talkin to him so of course he isn't going to go back to sleep. She then picks him straight up without even asking me & i didn't get the chance to even go to my own son! I dread having to spend 2 weeks with her because i'm literally on egg shells the entire time she is here as she just won't leave him alone!

That sounds just like my MIL! instead of letting my son go to sleep of his own accord she cuddles him to sleep which then makes night times very difficult for us indeed!! OH can't see it though. The way he does see it is that I'm stopping his mum and dad from seeing their grandson as often as my parents do! The difference between our parents is that my mum and dad will let me be a mum and they don't pick Alex up at every whimper!! I do talk to my mum about it and she said if I want him to lie down and sleep and asking nicely doesn't work then maybe just go over and take him off her and put him down myself. It sooo tempting but I really don't want to look like the bad guy in all this. I genuinely feel like she's trying to take him away from me

I love my son more than words can describe and I shouldn't dread taking him round to his grandparents!

I have my 6 week checkup today, not sure how it's going to go! Hopefully I'll be given the all clear for everything!!!

xx

I could have written your reply as well! My parents let me be a mom to my son she doesn't she just take over she takes him off whoever is holding him, she takes over feeds or expects to feed him I dread her being around that's why I don't go around her much anymore because she is overbearing! If it continues I'll have to have a word or get my mom to as it is getting more difficult to settle him she doesn't have it 24/7 just comes in & does as she pleases so he gets used to it!

I did take her off him though when he was screaming wether she liked it or not I always look like the bad guy & always getting stick but why should I have to allow someone come in and take over? Would they do this in someone else's home?! I keep thinking maybe if I wasn't a single parent it wouldn't be this bad with her & if it was the dad would put her in her place! It's just hard to say anything to her because she is always buying him things & it feels like I'm being bribed that I can't say anything because of what she does for me & it is wrong!

She did it on Saturday I had got him to sleep I put him in his pram the littlest cry & she is over then she just picked him up without even asking me just as I had got him down! I was fuming my parents at least ask before they do anything but she doesn't.

I dread her coming round not much I can do as I am at my parents till my house is built then once I am in I won't answer the door if I know it is her, I know that sounds awful but I can't bear the way she is it is way too much & she needs to back off!

 

[Niknaknoo]

Hi ladies, been a while since I've checked in! Hope everyone is ok.

CDx, glad you are doing better, we all have the odd meltdown, but at least you are aware and talking about how you feel. Keep doing that. It is so hard to find time to yourself though, I have a very clingy baby, I've left him with oh a couple of times to go shopping etc no more than 2 hours at a time and I've come back and he just hands me baby saying he hasn't shut up. I left them yesterday for just over an hour and it was a lot better though so hopefully he is starting to realise I always come back! He still doesn't take a bottle though so I can't be gone too long!
Kitten, I went swimming for first time last week and I did have my mum with me but there were loads of other mums on their own. Next time I will be on my own and I think it's just a case of rinse the chlorine off in the shower with baby in your arms then get dressed! There isn't really any way to actually wash so I think I'll have my shower at home afterwards. Unless you can tag team with another mum if it's a class
Gosh these MILs sound a nightmare! Mine is quite good...she has a bad back so can't lift him all the time or hold onto him for long!
I too am wondering if zachs teeth are starting to move, he has always been a fist eater but now if I give him my finger he shoves it in his mouth and chomps instead of sucking it. He is 11 weeks now.

 

[cossie13]

It's really annoying and I really want to say something to her but what's the right thing to say without making things a million times worse? She just can't leave him lying down without picking him up, it's as if a bay that isn't being cuddled is an unloved baby. And on top of that if he's gone to sleep and looks peaceful she'll inevitably want a picture - which is fine. But she insists on taking his dummy out for the picture and then wonders why he's woken up and is screaming at her! He doesn't need a dummy all the time but if he's gone to sleep with one in then you can't take it off him without him waking up! And believe me, it's not easier with daddy here. Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier as a single parent OH can be that useless! He just won't stand up to his parents! I wonder if that's because of how much they've spent on us/him...?

Niknaknoo, how did swimming go with LO? I assume he can't fully hold his own head up yet? I want to take Alex swimming as soon as possible but not fully sure how it would work if he can't hold his head up or am I just being stupid?

xx

 

[Allthingsgirly]

I think she takes advantage more as she sees me as being on my own but I can more than cope just fine! She is always wanting to hold him, feed him etc but funnily enough the only thing she doesn't want to do is nappy change funny that! I wouldn't mind her seeing him more often if she just backed off, waited for me to ask if she wanted to hold him instead of just taking over & if she listened & respected my wishes over decisions that I do for my child! It's like she's been told to not drink a hot drink over him so then I get the whole charade & im like I don't care he's my child refrain from doing what I've asked or you can't hold him, times change! Just because she managed to hold babies whilst drinking is irrevalant this is my baby don't do it why can't people just respect others?!

It's lovely though my little boy is just laid on my knee talking away & smiling to me this is what being a mom is about for me & im doing a bloody good job without her poking her beak in!

He keeps being sick though a lot so he is feeding a lot sooner than he would because of it. I try to keep him upright after a feed but still happens. He also hates being winded will scream the house down but if I wait till he has finished his bottle quite a lot comes back. He doesn't suffer with colic or anything & I have had him on infacol it's just if he doesn't want to wind then he won't

 

[Niknaknoo]

Cossie swimming was great, zach can hold his head up and has been doing so from very early... It was first thing midwife said when he came out he has a strong neck! I kept zach upright or on his back and the group I went to had various floats and toys. I had hold of him the whole time and we were in for about 40 mins. I even dunked him!

 

[cossie13]

Allthingsgirly, I would say each and every one of us is doing an amazing job and no one should make you feel otherwise! If I were you though, next time his nappy needs changing I'd probably be sayibng something like "this one's yours" and make her do it. But then again I can't bring myself to say anything to MIL!

Awesome niknaknoo!! Alex really tries to hold his head up but gets tired pretty quickly. I can't wait to take him swimming!!!

 

[Allthingsgirly]

Sometimes it's best to keep shut but I feel my parents because in the first few days he was home I just lost it completely with them as I thought they were doing too much & taking over since then everything has been fine their asking me a lot if they can do this or that with the baby they don't just assume now that it is okay to do that! Because I told them even though it cause a major upset they could eventually see where I was coming from & totally respected my decisions on it. They know how I feel about all this but try to keep the peace as they know how she can be she is temperamental at the best of times & bad mouths people she does it about her own kids!

It just doesn't seem fair that in someway I'm allowing her to come in & take over without saying anything yet I let rip at my parents! She's basically doing things that my own parents should be doing they haven't had the same opportunities as she has & I think it is dreadfully unfair that she is taking this away from them & me ESP when it probably will be my first & only child I'm not being able to enjoy him! I dread her coming because I don't just want her being handed him , if my parent are holding him or feeding him then she should wait to be offered not just come in unannounced & take him off that I do find rude ESP when they are his grandparents she is not! If it does happen again (I know I keep saying it but never do) I will have to say something! It's not like she is going to cut her nose to spite her face as she only really has my parents so she would have no one then but I am hoping that if I do say something she takes it on board, acts on it & it makes things better. I would have expected a grandparent or to some extent maybe an auntie or uncle but she isn't any of those things..

I don't care much for swimming I am not a strong swimmer at all but don't want my LO being afraid so I'm looking into taking him swimming sometime not sure when though I'll have to look into it & im hoping to take him to baby massage! There is so much I want to do or go to but I'm very limited money wise as I'm sole provider his dad pays nothing so I'm reliant on public transport which is just too expensive to use every day so I would have to walk a lot of places which isn't always easy for me at the moment.

 

[Flosi]

Days are so slow when In hospital! Really want to go home now, 4 days is more than adequate. X

 

[Jessiecat]

He come you sill have to stay Flosi? (Sorry if I've missed something) x

 

[kitten2014]

niknaknoo - you dared to dunk? not sure if i am that brave lol...had bathtime yesterday and instead of her bein in bath support us reaching over bath, I got in with her! iut was amazing, frog hug and cradle hold then finally rested her head on my abdomen, let rest of her body float n she was looking at me the whole time albeit upside down lol! she mades lots of gurgles n smiles and we dared to let some water get in her eyes n ears so she's not afraid...before take her swimming need to buy the swim overnappy (thinking of konfidence range on amazon) n perhaps a baby wetsuit, already have disposable swim nappies huggies...

she's also showing signs of recognition, last night when had handed her to OH she turned to me n reached her hands up and smiled! heart melting lol...oh and we finally did first attempt at hand cast using playdoh n plaster...looks amazing lol...

 

[Niknaknoo]

Yep kitten! The dunking gave him a shock,he pulled a face for 2 seconds and I gave him a big cuddle and he didn't cry!! I did it right at the end so if he did get upset we could get out. I just had zach in a swim nappy and all in one.

Be brave, I think it's best to do it sooner than later so they get used to it and aren't afraid. X

 

[Babbybo]

Kitten was the playdoh easy to use? I did the alginate mix. Difficult because he wriggled about and think it will take some practice to make mix for it and the plaster. Here's our first attempt. It has dried out now and is white- the pink was temporary from alginate mix.

 

[kitten2014]

babybo how did you do that as we have alginate also but the alginate is the outside of the hand which you put hand into and then pour plaster into and the alginate (which is temporary) is peeled off plaster...didnt think you could put alginate in alginate if thats what you've done? Playdoh gives you more attempts and means they dont have to have hand as still for as long and then pour plaster of paris into the playdoh mould... either way it looks cool...gonna try another attempt either today or tomorrow...

 

[Allthingsgirly]

Looks interesting but my little one wouldn't stay still long enough to entertain this sadly!

Well I am just in love with my little boy he's so adorable & melts my heart! We have such a strong mommy son bond & each time we see each other both our faces light up! He has been giving out such adorable smiles since he was a few weeks old & I get the odd giggle here & there! It is just adorable to see & I love how much he is just changing!

 

[kitten2014]

allthingsgirly - ditto, the first time she smiled after Id been out of the room a few mins was the best and that was two and a half weeks ago! Bless her...she's also trying to copy us when we say hello to her up close and enunciating each letter n really exaggerated, we've definately had some hi's and lo's lol bless her...also she adores playtime on the playmat and has started smiling at herself in the mirror and cooing and giggling at the toys lol...

The answer is to get their hands and feet when they're sleeping lol...feet will be easier than hands though lol...

 

[Babbybo]

Like you say kitten the hand is put into the alginate. It sets pretty quickly so should be fairly easy if they are sleeping- my LO was wide awake though. I was worried incase it would be difficult to get hands/feet out but they just slip out when baby moves so no problems. Plaster Paris is just poured into mould which is easy.

My mum thought the casts were a bit freaky looking. Now that I've done them I kinda agree but have a frame and paint for them for Fathers Day gift so will try it again.

Allthingsgirly I'm the same. Even when I'm exhausted my little boys smiles are enough to melt my heart. He lay in my arms earlier for ages with us just smiling at each other. I'm so besotted. We really are so lucky to have our babies.

 

[kitten2014]

Thanks babbybo, we attempted earlier but didnt even get to the point of putting hand in! it sets so quickly...gonna attempt again as she is awake and content staring at her mobile...

 

[kitten2014]

OK well that was a disaster! she balled her eyes out and didnt keep still long enough to get a decent mould so think will try playdoh method lol...it was heartbreaking and took her 20mins to calm down! My heart was in my throat lol...its not worth the agro...

 

[Babbybo]

Oh no kitten. Not good. Its not worth upsetting them for it. My wee man didn't like it but he only squirmed a bit and it set in no time. Mind you I'm not looking forward to trying it again. Will wait until he's sleeping or feeding as nothing bothers him then.

First set of immunisations tomorrow-not looking forward to it. Would anyone recommend Calpol before? Or just wait until after to see how he is?

 

[Allthingsgirly]

I was advised by my HV that you never give calpol before! My LO had his jabs last wednesday & i only had to give him one dose a few hours after as he was running a temp & he was crying a lot like he was in pain! You never know how your LO will be with the jabs they may not even need the calpol!