*March and April mums and babies*

[Rooster30]

Mine slept all night My boobies aren't quite so happy about it though, ouchhhhhhh.

 

[kitten2014]

wow hopefully we can work up to that dont mind couple of feeds during the night just not 6/7 feeds lol...just been looking at crochet blankets on eBay, if she takes so well to swaddling need some spare for washing lol...tried her with the velcro/zip up ones and she doesnt like them so much altho prepared to give them another try lol...she's been 2.5hrs again since last feed, expecting her to wake in next 30mins or so...

also rooster are you doing the feed, burp, sleep pattern at nighttime but feed, burp, play then sleep during day? we did yesterday and spent 15mins on playmat both on back and front and her neck muscles are developing well, guessing the last few days of excessive eating/fussiness followed by surprising qts of sleep was developmental...yay Phoebe...6wk hurdle over...fx

 

[Rooster30]

I guess I am, yes. She's been a struggle during the day to be honest. I have just got her down in the crib again, so hopefully she'll stay there for a little bit!

Still enjoying her though. It's amazing to be feeling more relaxed this baby. With my son I was just a bundle of nerves and anxiety which ultimately led to PND. No sign of that so far! Yay!

My HV is being really good. Think she's quietly keeping an eye on me, which doesn't bother me. Seeing her again a week on Monday so will probably ask about how to get little girl into a routine.

 

[kitten2014]

well we've had a setback, out lil girl had been constipated all morning so since 9am every feed she brought back up due to efforts downstairs and finally at 1.30pm we had poo (never thought Id say that!) but poor girl hasnt been since 7am yesterday...now of course she is both hungry AND tired, ive swaddled her, given her dummy and taken her for a pushchair ride and FINALLY she is trying to sleep after snacking on her bottle (frequent little feeds) so hoping we dont have a fussy lil girl tonight due to it...strange how one bit of constipation can knock out a developing a routine so quickly lol...oh well she seems settled for now...she saw HV and everything checks out fine...just got to get the paperwork handed in to register her at drs then we can get checkup and jabs underway bless her...

 

[CDx]

I had my first melt down tonight and it scared me a bit, I didn't get any of the crazy pregnancy hormones and so far have been fine the 7 weeks Arran has been here.

Today he just seemed to want to be fed constantly so I felt all I was doing was feeding, winding and changing him with very few breaks. It got to the point it was 9pm I was still in my pyjamas hadn't showered and Arran had drifted off for a nap after taking 4oz so I saw my opportunity to run a bath and have him in the bathroom on his beanbag so the steam could help his nose which has been a bit stuffy. As soon as I sat down in the bath he started screaming, I tried to leave him to self soothe but it wasn't working. I'm lying in the bath crying head in my hands just repeating please stop crying. Gets out goes to get ready and pick him up trying to rock him back to sleep buy it's obvious he just wants fed again. OH came in and I handed Arran over saying I just can't deal with him anymore tonight and went to bed feeling awful and like a sh#t mum

OH came in from work and then went to the football 2 hours later tonight, he goes to golf most weeks and I just feel he still has his hobbies and social life but I've 'lost' me and I'm with the baby all day every day and I feel I'm starting to resent OH. I spoke to him about it and he said make plans, go for a massage, meet friends. My friends have been fab visiting but they want to see Arran too so I feel like I'm being selfish if I say no ill meet you somewhere and leave him with dad.

My health visitor started my 6 week review yesterday and did the Edinburgh scale thing for post natal depression, I answered honestly and scored 7 which she said wasn't a concern at all but tonight has left me doubting that. Is it 'normal' to feel like this every now and again?

OH is working away the next 2 weeks and my mum usually comes over after work to give me a breather if I need it and just for some adult company but is on holiday one of them, im starting to worry about how I'll cope on my own. I don't drive, I have a licence but have some anxiety issues about driving and being on mat leave I can't afford a car at the moment and there isn't anything to really walk to locally so most of the time we are stuck in the house. I've said to friends ill need them to come visit to keep me sane but none have made plans to...yet.

I love Arran and would do anything for him but I just want a bit of me back, I know my life has changed and he really is my number 1 priority but I don't want to be there 24 hours a day 7 days a week with absolutely no breaks...is that awful considering he's only 7 weeks? Should I not still be in the besotted can't take my eyes off him stage? (Which I am...Most of the time)

Sorry just needed a rant and maybe some reassurance!

 

[kitten2014]

Hi CDx dont panic this feeling is completely normal, I often get what I call the seesaw, you have a thought pop into your head (for me it was expressing is getting painful and yesterday she brought up a whole bottle which made me cry and say things like I cant do it anymore, its too painful), then talked to OH and he calmly said well its upto you but you are giving her something only you can give and she needs it to which I then broke down again feeling guilty for wanting to stop expressing and not wanting to refuse my baby girl anything..afterwards was completely fine and wondered what on earth I was upset about and so can only say they are strong powerful emotions that you have to acknowledge, deal with (discuss/cry whichever) and move on from.

I know how you feel about the all day thing, my hubby is off work atm but setting up in business by himself (some would consider us daft with a 6wk old lol) and whenever want to do things by myself (which is only occasionally) he reminds me that he needs to focus on getting busy prepared and he doesnt say it is an accusing way as he acknowledges I need time to myself much like your OH suggesting swimming, massage etc but its still hard cos when you're away your clock watching, constantly txting to c if lil one alright etc etc...but I hear you loud and clear, sometimes when he's out and about doing things I have one thought ringing in my ears (Im the one holding the baby), its matter-of-factly thought though not like resentful or anything but it is true and have now started taking her out on my own etc to keep us both sane (fresh air for her, exercise, fresh air and escape the house for me lol)...sometimes when they are non stop demanding it can be hard to not let out your frustration and would have thouight the same as you re: bathtime (i only wanted 5mins would be ringing round my head) but unfortunately our lil ones dont understand this concept yet and are still adapting themselves to having to ask for things like food, comfort, warmth... have you tried bathing with him with you in the bath? I am keen to try this at some point but atm hubby likes to join in with weekly bathtime so over the side of the bath it is for now but also considering taking her swimming and wondering how to handle the shower aspect of it as cant leave her unattended and not sure how Id manage holding her and showering at same time lol...oh well we'll figure it out...

at the end of the day CDx your OH is being understanding about it which is what you need so dont be afraid to lean on him occasionally and discuss his hobbies and how you want to do something similar, set something up thats regular as I dont know about you girls but unless I have set things in the diary each day just merges into another...its good to have things to look forward to even if it is simply a weekly walk or trek to the shops...

 

[Rooster30]

I think we all have our wobbles. This baby lark is hard hard work. My little girl really ruddy well ticked me off yesterday, as she just didn't nap at all and it was my poor son who suffered as a result as he didn't have his mummy at all. I went to bed pissed off at 9:30pm feeling as tired as though I'd been rudely woken up. Told my OH to give daughter a bottle if she's hungry (I'm EBF) and marched to bed. And that's her other issue... she likes to suck and rarely seems content if she isn't feeding or sucking on a dummy - and I despise dummies wholeheartedly but they are the only thing that lets me out her down to be with my son or to cook/eat. Grrrr.

So yes, it's normal to feel that way CDx

 

[CDx]

Thanks ladies had a much better day. I had my 6 week review with the consultant today and shes very happy with my progress, wound is healing well and she discussed a bit about what ifs should I ever fall pregnant again I would be consultant led from the start and monitored a lot more - although that's the furthest thing from my mind! it took 4 attempts and 3 midwives to get blood from me think my body is over it and not giving them anymore. She answered all questions I had about the birth but my only concern was why was Arran whisked away and taken to special care. Apparently because I had to go under general anisthetic he went under too and was really sleepy when he was born so needed help stabilising his breathing. And I just confused everyone I met in the hospital, my birth notes are being kept in 'risk management' to see if they can learn from them. It felt good to just close that chapter and look forward instead of keep having to talk about what happened and how things could have been.

I then went and got my hair and make up done - wow what a difference I started to feel like the old me again. And then we went for a family photoshoot, totally biased but my son is just the most adorable baby ever!!! I can't wait until we get the final edits in a few weeks.

 

[want2bamum]

Hi ladies

Sorry been catching up on everything between expressing, nappy changes and occupying a 2 year old. Hope you are all doing ok.

Sorry to hear you've been having a tough few days CDx, its totally normal. And scoring 7 on the Edinburgh postnatal scale really isn't anything to worry about (I studied it for a module in my nursing course). It is completely exhausting and I totally understand what you mean by feeling you've lost 'you'. My hubby went back to work full time this week and its been tough with two kids. Ive also had trouble breast feeding and feel really crap coz I wanted so badly to be able to do it after not having the support with my daughter. I'm expressing now but everyone keeps saying 'when he goes on to formula...'. Ive no problem with formula at all, its a personal demon of mine and I manage to make myself feel rubbish for no reason. Sorry I'm sort of rambling, but trying to say we all have bad days and feel bad about how we think and feel about ourselves and what we do etc.

We are all doing fab jobs, being mummies is hard but we are all here to support each other xx

Xx

 

[kitten2014]

Hi girls not sure if this is fluke or not but our lil girl has started sleeping loads more, yesterday she slept 4hrs whilst we had visitors round! She never sleeps that long plus she's started taking 85ml followed swiftly by 40ml which suggests to me her stomach is getting larger, after her sleep yesterday she took two bottles of 85ml! Cant believe it stayed down lol...Ive now moved into the nursery with her for my 3-9am shift and therefore can actually take naps in a proper bed-OMG what a difference! She has been tightly swaddled since yesterday am and every 3hrs she takes a feed, she had two lots of playmat time yesterday 15mins a piece and has been passed around a few folk yesterday avo but aside from that just slept! My hubby couldnt believe it that she slept from 9pm til 11pm, then only woke 2.30! He was so surprised that he couldnt sleep himself lol...I thought to myself well she wont sleep for me but aside from 3.30 and 6am feeds and nappy changes she's still asleep now bless her!

Heading out to a friend today with her which will bve a good experience for me, first time on my own somewhere else and walking there and back, plus its raining so will get a chance to practise with raincover! Then its bathtime day - woohoo! Feeling positive, esp as her grandparents thought she was extremely advanced for her age with tracking, recognition skillos, neck movement etc...couldnt be more proud of our lil princess!

 

[cossie13]

It feels like it's always ages between my visits to this forum now but I still love coming on here for support, help and sometimes just plain old adult conversation!!

It would seem though that everyone hits a point where they think they'd like a bit of their old life back before children. I hit this earlier in the week and had a bit of a breakdown. I thought maybe someone taking him off my hands for an hour so that I could do my hair and make up in peace. Instead I spent the hour sat at the end of the bed in tears purely because I missed my little boy. Then to top it off, MIL started sticking her ore in where it wasn't wanted. Me and OH have said that we wanted to go see a game as part of the Rugby World Cup since they said it was going to be in this country! It was only the other night that OH managed to even get into the ticket office to purchase tickets - this was while we were at his parents house. We have also said we'd like to take Alex as he'd be 6 months old so not ridiculously young. When this was mentioned, MIL piped up in the background with "I wouldn't take him if I were you. We'll come with you and have home while you go into the match." - I wouldn't mind this option at all but it's the way it came about! It's like she was deciding what we do with our son and it genuinely now feels like she's taking him away from me am I being ridiculous? Sorry for dragging out the whole in-laws rant again but I guess I'm looking for a bit of reassurance that I'm not being pathetic or melodramatic!

Xx

 

[CDx]

Not being pathetic at all he is your son and it's up to you who looks after him and when. If you and your OH want to take him with you then it's your decision not your MIL's. I think grandparents sometimes forget it's not their child and need to take a step back and wait until they are asked for their opinions or to be involved.

 

[Allthingsgirly]

Nope I've a family member that just takes over, does what she wants & doesn't ask before she does anything it's getting to me as I feel like he isn't my son & im being undermined in some ways! People just don't get why I feel like I feel but to them it may be a little thing but to me it's massive! I dread the door going & it being her but I will eventually snap like I did before but I can't see the outcome this time being positive like it was before.

 

[cossie13]

Thanks ladies. The big problem for me is we are due for a couple of weeks in Cornwall with them at the end of June and I can see them taking over and I can't see myself keeping my mouth shut. And if they can't learn to leave decisions about our son up to me and my OH the. I can actually see it causing a big enough argument between me and OH to end it and that really is the last thing I want. The big problem I face is that the in laws don't see Alex as much as my parents and OH will just say that's why they want to take him off our hands. But it's things like this that make me not want to take him round there or let them look after him!!! I hope things resolve themselves without a negative result allthingsgirly! X

 

[Allthingsgirly]

Cossie13 our situations sound very similar the only difference is that mine is an auntie & not mother/father in laws! What you have just written could have been my situation! I am also due to go away with her & my family for 2 weeks in september & already i am just dreading it! Its my little boys first holiday & i don't want it ruining esp not by someone who isn't his grandparent! It is starting to make me resentful!!

Ladies who bottle feed i'm just wanting some advice please my LO is on the tomme tippee closer to nature bottles teat size 1 but i've decided to try him on the 0+ vari flow & well he finished his bottle in record time but it seemed to go way 2 fast for him & we had a bit of leaking. He also has a tongue tie not sure if this could be contributing to it as well? I'm just not sure what teat size & flow to try him on now, my HV isn't that great & we dont see her again now until nearly the end of the month!

My little boy is really chewing/suckling on his fist & i know it's not a hunger sign as he does it after a feed & we have also had to introduce a soother a few weeks back so it can't be that he is needing a comforter as such. I think it could be to do with his gums even though at 9 weeks (today!! How is this even possible?! ) it surely must be too young for them to be starting with gum trouble because of teething.

 

[GF91]

Allthingsgirly- fist in mouth could be many things. Hunger, comfort, gum pain but at around 8/9 weeks they find their hands so it may just be that.
Their teeth are moving/shifting around in the gum all the time. They need to position themselves and move down the gum. Sometimes it hurts babies, sometimes they don't notice. My LO is 14 weeks tomorrow & she's starting to cut her first tooth!

 

[Allthingsgirly]

Allthingsgirly- fist in mouth could be many things. Hunger, comfort, gum pain but at around 8/9 weeks they find their hands so it may just be that.
Their teeth are moving/shifting around in the gum all the time. They need to position themselves and move down the gum. Sometimes it hurts babies, sometimes they don't notice. My LO is 14 weeks tomorrow & she's starting to cut her first tooth!

I literally could kiss you thank you for making me feel that i'm not goinv crazy!! I've been saying i'm sure it's his teeth but keep getting told no it isn't he's too young for teeth but i knew it was something to do with his gums! Sod listening to other people now i knew i wasn't going crazy so i'm listening to my own instincts from now on!!!

He has always had his fingers in his mouth right from being born & i now know his hunger cry! I need to stop listening to everyone else's "good advice" & trust my own instincts more as i'm not always wrong

 

[CDx]

Cossie I could have written that myself! MIL stormed out in a huff yesterday when u said I was going out with Arran today. She sat for 15 hours over the weekend, I don't know what more she wants apart from me not having a life every other weekend. We have only had bedtime alone as a family and I really feel for OH who is working away all week. I would speak to your OH before going away about things shes done and how it has hurt you, he might surprise you and speak to her.

 

[Allthingsgirly]

Glad im not the only one going threw this i thought i was being an awful person but some people just don't get it do they? I want to say something to her but i just know she will go off in a huff turn herself into a victim & bad mouth me! I dread her coming over i feel like i can't be a mom when she is around or when she does come & i'm going out it's like i should stay in. Why should i ?! Why is it okay for her to come over unnounced & expect me to stay in how is that fair?! She's acting like she is his mother or grandma my own parents aren't doing what she does but i feel i can't say anything & it is making me down & angry!!

The other day when she was here i put him down to sleep the least little noise she here she is by his pram instead of putting his soother in & coming away she is stood their talkin to him so of course he isn't going to go back to sleep. She then picks him straight up without even asking me & i didn't get the chance to even go to my own son! I dread having to spend 2 weeks with her because i'm literally on egg shells the entire time she is here as she just won't leave him alone!

 

[cossie13]

Glad im not the only one going threw this i thought i was being an awful person but some people just don't get it do they? I want to say something to her but i just know she will go off in a huff turn herself into a victim & bad mouth me! I dread her coming over i feel like i can't be a mom when she is around or when she does come & i'm going out it's like i should stay in. Why should i ?! Why is it okay for her to come over unnounced & expect me to stay in how is that fair?! She's acting like she is his mother or grandma my own parents aren't doing what she does but i feel i can't say anything & it is making me down & angry!!

The other day when she was here i put him down to sleep the least little noise she here she is by his pram instead of putting his soother in & coming away she is stood their talkin to him so of course he isn't going to go back to sleep. She then picks him straight up without even asking me & i didn't get the chance to even go to my own son! I dread having to spend 2 weeks with her because i'm literally on egg shells the entire time she is here as she just won't leave him alone!

That sounds just like my MIL! instead of letting my son go to sleep of his own accord she cuddles him to sleep which then makes night times very difficult for us indeed!! OH can't see it though. The way he does see it is that I'm stopping his mum and dad from seeing their grandson as often as my parents do! The difference between our parents is that my mum and dad will let me be a mum and they don't pick Alex up at every whimper!! I do talk to my mum about it and she said if I want him to lie down and sleep and asking nicely doesn't work then maybe just go over and take him off her and put him down myself. It sooo tempting but I really don't want to look like the bad guy in all this. I genuinely feel like she's trying to take him away from me

I love my son more than words can describe and I shouldn't dread taking him round to his grandparents!

I have my 6 week checkup today, not sure how it's going to go! Hopefully I'll be given the all clear for everything!!!

xx