She's had a formula feed and guzzled 70ml straight away , she's having the lumbar puncture now , I sent OH . I've cried hysterically all day about what a failure I am in every way , the birth traumatised me ... It doesn't seem as bad as some but for me it was ... Then I've given her an infection and I feel guilty , then all my dreams of doing the same as I did with DD1 have fallen to peices and I failed at feeding her myself , since formula she seems so much more settled , but I'm heartbroken ,,,, but I just want her to be happy going through all she is , and she's crying constantly as soon as I stop feeding for me to feed her again x