Long termers 6 months or more

[Nikkibiscuit]

Thanks Alexis.

Think I'm just frustrated because we had a lovely weekend away in Scotland with no ttc pressure because of AF. We seem to get stuck in this cycle of nice few days together followed by stress or worry. No idea why.

We are battling to pay off some debts. But by no means destitute but unfortunately my hubby sees it as the end of the world until they are paid off. Whereas I try to make the best of it.

This being a grown up malarkey is rubbish!

Sorry for blue Wednesday moaning. Had rough 2 days back at work so just feeling pretty blue today. Off to play ponies this afternoon so hopefully that will lift my spirits a little.

Trying not to blame TTC for our woes as I know it's more complex than that but would certainly at least change the pressure if a BFP was to come along x

 

[Wilson14]

Hi all,
Just joined today, not really my thing but not able to speak to anyone else about it that understands. Now in month 13 of TTC, I'm 32, my husband is 42, he has two children from previous relationship.
Yesterday my brother in law's gf gave birth to a little girl, seeing the pictures makes me want to cry with jealousy. I have had 3 months of 21 day bloods, each time I've phoned I've been told the result is normal. DH going for swimmers analysis next week. I'm losing hope and feel like it's not going to happen for me.

 

[Sunflower1]

Ugh this witch just doesn't want to quit....thouhht we could get back on the BD tonight but she's not done quite yet. Hope she nicks off tomorrow. Want to get back on a mission.

Skin driving me insane at the minute. Thought was washing powder but just using fairy now and always been fine with that. Had such itchy legs and ankles...bit last week was from lots of walking I think. But the evenings it's driving me mad and I'm scratching myself silly. Taken piriton couple of nights just to try and ease the irritation. No idea What is causing. No rash until I start scratching myself silly then obviously red and annoyed. If I didn't know better I would be symptom spotting x

I get this when it’s cold, every year! Especially after a shower or bath, so for me I think it’s just the temperature differences causing my skin to be irritated. The more I itch, the worse it gets, so I try and keep my skin moisturised as much as possible. I use hemp cream at least once a day on my skin and use aqueous cream throughout the day on my hands after every time I’ve washed my hands. Also if the itching is really bad, e45 itch relief cream helps xx

Is it eczema?

No not eczema. I have had that in the past though. This isn't patches it's just frustratingly itchy. And moves as well. Was bottom of my legs the other day. Last night was my thighs and my head. I think there is an element of weather and an element of stress related.

Last night was awful. I have totally lost my confidence and hubby is feeding off that so after 10 mins foreplay I think we both thought the other person was pulling away and all just ended in tears instead of BD. He has been struggling with anxiety meaning his libido can be low sometimes. And I think I've just lost my confidence after a few times of him being too tired towards the end of last cycle of trying. Wish I could just stop over thinking and is both just relax and go with it. Easier said than done sometimes when you TTC I think.

Feeling blue this morning x

We got into this state a lot. We are now doing AI instead as it's less stressful.

Your rash sounds awful. Have you asked a GP about it?

 

[Sunflower1]

Nettle tea is meant to be good Alexis.

I've been drinking nettle tea for a year but nothing!

I hope you get to the bottom of it soon xx

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

Hi all,
Just joined today, not really my thing but not able to speak to anyone else about it that understands. Now in month 13 of TTC, I'm 32, my husband is 42, he has two children from previous relationship.
Yesterday my brother in law's gf gave birth to a little girl, seeing the pictures makes me want to cry with jealousy. I have had 3 months of 21 day bloods, each time I've phoned I've been told the result is normal. DH going for swimmers analysis next week. I'm losing hope and feel like it's not going to happen for me.

Welcome....know the feeling not usually where I would turn but this forum has helped me loads over the last few months just having somewhere to talk and people understand x

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

Ugh this witch just doesn't want to quit....thouhht we could get back on the BD tonight but she's not done quite yet. Hope she nicks off tomorrow. Want to get back on a mission.

Skin driving me insane at the minute. Thought was washing powder but just using fairy now and always been fine with that. Had such itchy legs and ankles...bit last week was from lots of walking I think. But the evenings it's driving me mad and I'm scratching myself silly. Taken piriton couple of nights just to try and ease the irritation. No idea What is causing. No rash until I start scratching myself silly then obviously red and annoyed. If I didn't know better I would be symptom spotting x

I get this when it’s cold, every year! Especially after a shower or bath, so for me I think it’s just the temperature differences causing my skin to be irritated. The more I itch, the worse it gets, so I try and keep my skin moisturised as much as possible. I use hemp cream at least once a day on my skin and use aqueous cream throughout the day on my hands after every time I’ve washed my hands. Also if the itching is really bad, e45 itch relief cream helps xx

Is it eczema?

No not eczema. I have had that in the past though. This isn't patches it's just frustratingly itchy. And moves as well. Was bottom of my legs the other day. Last night was my thighs and my head. I think there is an element of weather and an element of stress related.

Last night was awful. I have totally lost my confidence and hubby is feeding off that so after 10 mins foreplay I think we both thought the other person was pulling away and all just ended in tears instead of BD. He has been struggling with anxiety meaning his libido can be low sometimes. And I think I've just lost my confidence after a few times of him being too tired towards the end of last cycle of trying. Wish I could just stop over thinking and is both just relax and go with it. Easier said than done sometimes when you TTC I think.

Feeling blue this morning x

We got into this state a lot. We are now doing AI instead as it's less stressful.

Your rash sounds awful. Have you asked a GP about it?

Thanks sunflower. Haven't got a rash as such that's what's weird. And up red and sore from scratching but nothing when I start itching. Hopefully just winter weather playing havoc with my skin.

Not sure AI would be for me....and don't think hubby would go for it. But will bear it in mind if things continue to be tough x

 

[Wilson14]

Thank you, can't wait to get next week out the way and then can go back to the doctors to move things forward. Pretty sure I have a Luteal Phase Defect as I'm getting positive OPKs on day Day 23 of an average 30-33 Day Cycle so I'm going to ask about that next time I'm there.

 

[Sunflower1]

Ugh this witch just doesn't want to quit....thouhht we could get back on the BD tonight but she's not done quite yet. Hope she nicks off tomorrow. Want to get back on a mission.

Skin driving me insane at the minute. Thought was washing powder but just using fairy now and always been fine with that. Had such itchy legs and ankles...bit last week was from lots of walking I think. But the evenings it's driving me mad and I'm scratching myself silly. Taken piriton couple of nights just to try and ease the irritation. No idea What is causing. No rash until I start scratching myself silly then obviously red and annoyed. If I didn't know better I would be symptom spotting x

I get this when it’s cold, every year! Especially after a shower or bath, so for me I think it’s just the temperature differences causing my skin to be irritated. The more I itch, the worse it gets, so I try and keep my skin moisturised as much as possible. I use hemp cream at least once a day on my skin and use aqueous cream throughout the day on my hands after every time I’ve washed my hands. Also if the itching is really bad, e45 itch relief cream helps xx

Is it eczema?

No not eczema. I have had that in the past though. This isn't patches it's just frustratingly itchy. And moves as well. Was bottom of my legs the other day. Last night was my thighs and my head. I think there is an element of weather and an element of stress related.

Last night was awful. I have totally lost my confidence and hubby is feeding off that so after 10 mins foreplay I think we both thought the other person was pulling away and all just ended in tears instead of BD. He has been struggling with anxiety meaning his libido can be low sometimes. And I think I've just lost my confidence after a few times of him being too tired towards the end of last cycle of trying. Wish I could just stop over thinking and is both just relax and go with it. Easier said than done sometimes when you TTC I think.

Feeling blue this morning x

We got into this state a lot. We are now doing AI instead as it's less stressful.

Your rash sounds awful. Have you asked a GP about it?

Thanks sunflower. Haven't got a rash as such that's what's weird. And up red and sore from scratching but nothing when I start itching. Hopefully just winter weather playing havoc with my skin.

Not sure AI would be for me....and don't think hubby would go for it. But will bear it in mind if things continue to be tough x

I get a dreadful reaction to some washing powders. Apparently some people have a problem with Fairy even though it's non bio. Might be worth changing.

http://mi-free.com/allergy-uks-endorsement-schemes-and-methylisothiazolinone/

My hubby was against AI, but the stress and lack of performance got too much and now it helps him separate TTC from regular sex. xx

 

[MoominGirl]

Okay I've ordered them all online and will try them one at a time and see...I will try anything now as we are on the count down to ivf the end of the year!

I hope something works for you. I've given up trying stuff as nothing has made a blind bit of difference other than lighten the wallet. Other than the acupuncture, I'm sticking with back to basics unless it's something I actually enjoy like yoga.

 

[MoominGirl]

Ugh this witch just doesn't want to quit....thouhht we could get back on the BD tonight but she's not done quite yet. Hope she nicks off tomorrow. Want to get back on a mission.

Skin driving me insane at the minute. Thought was washing powder but just using fairy now and always been fine with that. Had such itchy legs and ankles...bit last week was from lots of walking I think. But the evenings it's driving me mad and I'm scratching myself silly. Taken piriton couple of nights just to try and ease the irritation. No idea What is causing. No rash until I start scratching myself silly then obviously red and annoyed. If I didn't know better I would be symptom spotting x

I get this when it’s cold, every year! Especially after a shower or bath, so for me I think it’s just the temperature differences causing my skin to be irritated. The more I itch, the worse it gets, so I try and keep my skin moisturised as much as possible. I use hemp cream at least once a day on my skin and use aqueous cream throughout the day on my hands after every time I’ve washed my hands. Also if the itching is really bad, e45 itch relief cream helps xx

Is it eczema?

No not eczema. I have had that in the past though. This isn't patches it's just frustratingly itchy. And moves as well. Was bottom of my legs the other day. Last night was my thighs and my head. I think there is an element of weather and an element of stress related.

Last night was awful. I have totally lost my confidence and hubby is feeding off that so after 10 mins foreplay I think we both thought the other person was pulling away and all just ended in tears instead of BD. He has been struggling with anxiety meaning his libido can be low sometimes. And I think I've just lost my confidence after a few times of him being too tired towards the end of last cycle of trying. Wish I could just stop over thinking and is both just relax and go with it. Easier said than done sometimes when you TTC I think.

Feeling blue this morning x

I think once you've been at this for a while, it really becomes a drain on your sex life. Whether you like it or not, sex just becomes scheduled and unromantic and you just end up doing it over the fertile window cos it turns out neither of you can be bothered the rest of the time. We tried to fight it but it just added to the pressure and ended in tears. We've now taken the approach that it just needs to be done. No pressure from either side and accept the situation as crap as it is. We hope it won't be much longer for us as once we get to IVF, we'll hopefully be able to work on our sex life and hopefully have sex cos we actually want to again. So far this is working for us. We're also dtd less as going full on clearly hasn't worked so we'd rather reduce the pressure now and we both don't feel totally worn out. I also mentioned AI which OH was totally against at first but now he's said that if we need to he'd accept doing it as a short term fix. I don't think we'll need to though.

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

@moomin

Thanks for the support. It is super tough...in the beginning you think wahey it's gonna be all shagadelic and fantastic. Reality is am not 21 anymore and just don't have the energy for that plus life and work and everything else.

Agree with the mentality of just needing to crack on and hopefully once we get bfp or in less fertile times can still enjoy some just for fun times x

 

[MoominGirl]

I think the fact that me and OH have actually had the conversation about how we feel about sex has helped a lot. It's not exactly what we wanted to hear but as we're both feeling exactly the same, neither of us can be offended and neither of us needs to pretend either lol!! You're right - it is all great at the start but it really doesn't last once it starts to become difficult. We do make a conscious effort to spend quality time together outside of the bedroom.

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

Well finally of the mark for this months BD....had good talk last night and some fun times before work this morning as I was on late shift. So hopefully we are back on track. Trying to keep things low pressure and roll with it...never know hopefully it might pay off. Xx

 

[MoominGirl]

Glad things have got off to a good start and that you managed to talk things through. We learned pretty quickly that there's a lot to be said for calling a spade a spade!!

 

[_GG_]

Ah Niki, glad you had a good chat. Spring is almost here, get yourself some horsey plans in the diary to work towards and help put your mind on other things so you can keep enjoying dtd.

I'm going to continue to stalk you all. Xx

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

@moomin thanks very much. Back on it with a bang. We have managed 4 times in 3 days. Finally mastered the art of squeezing in some morning sex when I'm on a late shift. I just have to fake being concious lmfao. Only kidding once I'm turned on I'm wide awake it's just getting hubby to be brave enough to tackle the grumpy morning monster that I am lol. Anyway thrilled we back on track....hopefully it works but if nothing else has got us reconnected.

@GG had a fabulous trip out with the fur baby to the beach last week and lots of pony playtime when I was off which was great. My friend who is now sharing is aiming for her first BE80 with him probably in April so we as firmly in pre season training. I'm gonna be proud owner/groom. Have let go of my BE riding dreams until I can get my nerve back properly and tbh if I fall pregnant I won't be galloping round XC anyway so quote happy to let her take the reins. So lots coming up to keep me focussed. Had good talk with hubby about monies and we back on track to be debt free by the end of the year so he's much happier. Fingers crossed it is the start of it all falling into place! How's the bump doing? Xx

 

[Alexis2017]

Hey everyone! Hope your all busy dtd or relaxing or having some fun. I am hitting week 2 of the 2 week wait come Monday. Trip to the in-laws tmrw. Oh the joys ! I have been very tired this week despite having the week off work. Booked tickets for local women's day Races for spring, went up to muck out and ride tiday but as I had just tacked up a huge thunder storm happened so just unptacked and went home. On a better note 11 weeks till Thailand!

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

@Alexis how exciting for Thailand.....not jealous at All!! Will be amazing. Would love to see your bfp before then but maybe afterwards would be better anyway.

I hope at least one of us can share some good news soon. Pleased to see us all in a positive vibe though x

 

[liz85]

Hello! Starting my first month trying post operation!! 6months of trying before I get some fertility help. Good luck to everyone!!

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

Hope every one had a good weekend. We feel like we finally back on track...DTD probably way more than necessary managed 5 times in 4 days now which has to be a record for us lol. I know we don't need to be at it every day but we both agreed we were going to give it a fair crack this month as will be making GP appt if no BFP by next cycle. According to app I'm due to ov. In a couple of days but due to really slippy CM 2 days ago decided to really crack on as the early days in the cycle are the ones we have never really covered that much befoee....anything is worth a try right?! Xx