Long termers 6 months or more

[Nikkibiscuit]

Just flashed up in my.facebook memories and I think it is even more true today

 

[emcayo]

Late to this post, but we are also at 16 months TTC with nothing to show for it. All tests are good/normal I have good egg quality and reserve, DH has normal tests, we are so frustrated.What makes it worse is that slowly friends are getting pregnant and we feel left behind.

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

Late to this post, but we are also at 16 months TTC with nothing to show for it. All tests are good/normal I have good egg quality and reserve, DH has normal tests, we are so frustrated.What makes it worse is that slowly friends are getting pregnant and we feel left behind.

Welcome emcayo. We are all at various stages of LTTTC some of us undiagnosed at this stage....some with diagnosed issues and a large amount of us with unexplained infertility.

I hope we can offer you support and a place to vent. This forum has been a god send to me. I don't know what I would do without somewhere to chat about all the difficulties that come with TTC xx

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

Sorry I'm plaguing you all with posts at the minute. But I feel tonight like I have bit hit with a sledgehammer. Onto cycle #19 what is wrong with us? Why is this just not happening? Then I looked back at my glow logs for the last few months. And there were 2 months were we tried super hard. The others I feel like we haven't even given ourselves a fair crack....most of them only had 2 or 3 times within the prime fertile period. I know that can be all it takes....but I'm now kicking myself for not trying harder. Although that is pointless as I know that really OH is the reason we haven't had more sex....he just doesn't have the same sex drive as I do....and no doubt TTC pressure isn't helping. Although I do my best not to pile it on him for that reason.

I just want to sob....and yet the tears aren't there....

I'm visiting my best mate in Yorkshire on Friday so hopefully a vent will help. I just need to find a way to put these feelings to one side and enjoy .y week off with hubby. It feels like cos we DTD today it has just brought everything rushing back.

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

In a bid to cheer myself and us all up I found these on pinterest and just had to share them with you....

 

[Vintageling]

Oh Nikki sending you massive hugs hun don't beat yourself up you still tried at peak times. We have one cycle we didn't try at all because I was home in Wales and I could kick myself for it but I had to be at home at that point in time. Post as much as you want hun though because remember that's what all of us are here for is to find support though this crazy hard exciting journey we are all going through.

On another note going through the kiddies section of Ikea today has made my broodiness come to a whole new level like seeing beds and things that I would actually buy for our kids as they grew older and seeing the little bedroom set ups

 

[Alexis2017]

Nikki sending hugs your way. I think when you look back at what you've been through already its just so difficult. It's not meant to me heart ache and tears making a baby. Sometimes I wish I never even started to try. I can't even imagine being a Mum and what its like.... can't imagine feeling anyrhing better in my entire life than holding my own baby for the 1st time. That same thought also haunts me and torments me.

I've had anotherr pregnancy annoucment today. Me and hubby said to each other surely there can't be anyone left to get pregnant now. It feels like everyone has got pregnant except us. My friend said she tried to write the message to tell me but deleted it every time. Then she just posted on fb and wanted for me to message her. I feel so crap as that's twice now ppl habe hid pregnancies from me. I'm now that women...and I hate it.

We're just about to hit fertile week and I am already not in the mood at all. I am so so so so so frustrated with my body. I'm probably at my lowest point now. I had a mink breakdown when I got home from work on thur night last week and cried solid for about 4 hours to the point I woke up with giant swollen eyeballs the next day.

I don't get why this is happening to me. We're now on cycle 23 .... I so wish I could rewind back to the start and remember the happy times and the excitement.

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

@vintageling there is just certain things that will always bring the broodiness isn't there. We went to watch out nephew play rugby yesterday morning (he is 9) at the rugby club my OH literally grew up at. His brother has ended up coaching the team and has no clue (he was the non sporty brother of 3) and I've said to OH a couple of times why doesn't he get involved with coaching thinking it would give him something positive to do (he can't play Any more after 2 knee operations) but he said to me yesterday what would be the point he has no child playing. It cut through my heart cos he adores his nephew and yet obviously for him he can't get involved without it being his own. I wish I could give him that son so he could enjoy the sport with him (yeah no guarantee our child would play but if he took after his dad he would)

@Alexis I think I'm feeling only a taster of the pain you are you going through. I hope you can find the strength to be positive for your IVF. They even said on the news the other day that less children are being adopted because the ivf success rates are now so high. I wasn't sure what to feel about that.....it was a strange emotion cos I want our baby so much but I did feel a tug on my heartstrings that there is children out there just wanting to be loved x

 

[Vintageling]

Yea that's a big gut rencher there hun I grew up watching my dad play rugby so I can sort of understand where your OH is coming from because we are a rugby loving family to

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

Yea that's a big gut rencher there hun I grew up watching my dad play rugby so I can sort of understand where your OH is coming from because we are a rugby loving family to

In our perfect world we would have a rugby boy and a horsey girl. But right now our perfect world would just be a happy healthy baby.

Funny how dreams change and become different versions of reality

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

Right that's it....I am done with feeling sorry for myself.

I am getting my shit together. Sorry TMI but I have trimmed and shaved every inch required....slapped on the fake tan moisturiser.....and quite frankly polished every bit I possibly can.

It's my fertile week and I am going to enjoy my husband and flipping well have fun doing it. There probably won't be a BFP but what's new!?! Life is too short to wallow in self pity and I can't even cry my eyes out at the end of the month if we haven't even tried.

So watch out husband....wife is back on form!

(Good luck to anyone else baby bonking this week- sod the worrying it's meant to be fun after all) xxxx

 

[Vintageling]

Yea that's a big gut rencher there hun I grew up watching my dad play rugby so I can sort of understand where your OH is coming from because we are a rugby loving family to

In our perfect world we would have a rugby boy and a horsey girl. But right now our perfect world would just be a happy healthy baby.

Funny how dreams change and become different versions of reality

Yea it is my dreams have changed many times at one point I thought I would never get it chance to even try but then I met my OH and here I am.

Fertile window starts on Friday for me so will start opks from tomorrow

 

[Alexis2017]

My AMH results are back and only 3.7. I think that means I have low ovarian reserve ..but apparently doesn't cause infertility but means I have a low number of eggs left ? I think it means extra drugs on IVF . Feel a bit down as need to start dtd tonight and feels hopeless

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

My AMH results are back and only 3.7. I think that means I have low ovarian reserve ..but apparently doesn't cause infertility but means I have a low number of eggs left ? I think it means extra drugs on IVF . Feel a bit down as need to start dtd tonight and feels hopeless

Not sure I quite understand all these results prior to IVF so I'm trying to figure it out with you as you go Alexis.

It looks like your AMH is related to something called your antral follicle count?

If it is low though Alexis that means IVF is the right place for you cos all the drugs they use to stimulate will give you the best possible chance xx

 

[Star128]

My AMH results are back and only 3.7. I think that means I have low ovarian reserve ..but apparently doesn't cause infertility but means I have a low number of eggs left ? I think it means extra drugs on IVF . Feel a bit down as need to start dtd tonight and feels hopeless

Hi Alexis, sorry you're feeling like this. It's awful to get results with no explanation of what they mean! From what I can see online normal range is between 1.5 and 4. So 3.7 is good!

When were you added to the ivf waiting list? I was added in July and was told 9-12month waiting list so a wee while off for me yet xx

 

[Alexis2017]

My AMH results are back and only 3.7. I think that means I have low ovarian reserve ..but apparently doesn't cause infertility but means I have a low number of eggs left ? I think it means extra drugs on IVF . Feel a bit down as need to start dtd tonight and feels hopeless

Hi Alexis, sorry you're feeling like this. It's awful to get results with no explanation of what they mean! From what I can see online normal range is between 1.5 and 4. So 3.7 is good!

When were you added to the ivf waiting list? I was added in July and was told 9-12month waiting list so a wee while off for me yet xx

I think my results are in pmol not ng so below 6 is low ovarian reserve ?I could be wrong but I haven't had it fully explained as my gp gave me the results. I have my consent appt 3rd Dec so hopefully the clinic will go over it with me then? I joined waiting list May this year after 1 year of tests etc. We were told 6 months wait then another 3 months from getting to top for further screening before it all starts and Xmas pushed things back further too so I don't think we will start till January

 

[Peony1]

I’d ask to get the results printed alexis - that way you’ll know for sure and it’s always good to have copies for your own records.

I spoke to the doctor today about my periods, I.e. spotting beforehand. He was really helpful and has sent me off for another blood test (I think this might be to test for pcos) and a scan which I think might be for polyps. I have had a scan last year and I had spotting then so I’m not sure if it would have shown polyps up then.... @Moonmingirl...is this what you had? I can’t remember how they found them for you?
Anyway, I feel a lot more positive because I finally feel listened to and i just feel so much happier that they are investigating it. I said to the doctor that I feel like the spotting (which I never used to get) must mean something considering that I’m not pregnant after 2 years and he agreed with me. It was just so nice to be taken seriously!

 

[Vintageling]

Fingers crossed then peony that this gives you some awnsers

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

I’d ask to get the results printed alexis - that way you’ll know for sure and it’s always good to have copies for your own records.

I spoke to the doctor today about my periods, I.e. spotting beforehand. He was really helpful and has sent me off for another blood test (I think this might be to test for pcos) and a scan which I think might be for polyps. I have had a scan last year and I had spotting then so I’m not sure if it would have shown polyps up then.... @Moonmingirl...is this what you had? I can’t remember how they found them for you?
Anyway, I feel a lot more positive because I finally feel listened to and i just feel so much happier that they are investigating it. I said to the doctor that I feel like the spotting (which I never used to get) must mean something considering that I’m not pregnant after 2 years and he agreed with me. It was just so nice to be taken seriously!

I'm so pleased for you peony....it makes such a difference when you feel like you are being listened to and someone is prepared to help you get answers. Xx

 

[MoominGirl]

I’d ask to get the results printed alexis - that way you’ll know for sure and it’s always good to have copies for your own records.

I spoke to the doctor today about my periods, I.e. spotting beforehand. He was really helpful and has sent me off for another blood test (I think this might be to test for pcos) and a scan which I think might be for polyps. I have had a scan last year and I had spotting then so I’m not sure if it would have shown polyps up then.... @Moonmingirl...is this what you had? I can’t remember how they found them for you?
Anyway, I feel a lot more positive because I finally feel listened to and i just feel so much happier that they are investigating it. I said to the doctor that I feel like the spotting (which I never used to get) must mean something considering that I’m not pregnant after 2 years and he agreed with me. It was just so nice to be taken seriously!

That's good they're actually investigating it. I had just a standard ultrasound both abdominal and transvaginal. They saw something on the first one but couldn't be sure it was a polyp rather than just old blood left over from the previous cycle. So the requested a repeat and specifically asked that I had it when I was on my period (ugh!) It was still there the second time so they were sure it was a polyp. Got referred to gynae after that so they could remove it. As I've always said, I found general gynae to be so much more helpful the NHS fertility even though the bulk of fertility doctors train as gynaecologists first.