Long termers 6 months or more

[Nikkibiscuit]

Today I feel very differently about it- I wish more than anything that it was 2 years trying to get ivf for us now... the difference a day can make!...the thought even crossed my mind that we should pay for it privately cos I’m not sure how to cope with another year of this. I wanted a child 2 years ago, that want has only got stronger. I feel so fed up of it all and it seems every month there’s another person I know pregnant and asking me when I’m next. Someone met me for the first time today and asked if I had children. I just no, one day.

Why do u have to wait until you have been trying 3 years peony? Just nhs rules where u are? Or are you much younger?

I'm at my wits end with a couple.of months until we hit 2 years since I had my coil out. It was swiftly followed by treatment for abnormal cells following a smear and I remmebr thinking it was torture having to wait a few months to try (they had told.us to wait 6 months for follow up smear) we only managed to wait 2 months. I laugh when I think back that back then I thought I would fall within a few months and used to actually think about planning pregnancy strategically for the right time of year as I work in retail....how naive I was x

 

[Peony1]

It’s 3 years In my area! I’m 32.... it’s weird to think that I started trying at 30!
I know, I remember thinking ahead like ‘if I could be pregnant by Xmas...’ I read other girls on here trying to plan it so that they have a summer baby and I’m so jealous of their hope and optimism! I just a want a healthy baby and I don’t care what time of the year it’s born now! Xx

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

I couldn't sleep last night (live on a hill and was really windy!) So I used the time to YouTube about IVF stories and try to learn more about what it entails and the impact.

I actually feel a lot more positive now and think I have enough strength left to give it a go if the time comes. We only have probably 5 more cycles until our next appt back at hospital which is when she said they would start the ball rolling. So I figure that we just keep trying and let the chips fall. I guess at some point we all have to accept this is out of our control and as heart breaking as that is just roll with it.

Not sure how long I will stay in this positive place but right now I'm done with crying over something that I can't change. I want to get back to enjoying our sex life for the intimacy not counting down to ejaculation lol x

 

[Alexis2017]

So now I’ve officially hit the 2 year mark and I’m out again! Day 26 and the spotting has started. I’m distraught... I genuinely don’t know how to cope with this anymore

So sorry just seen this.

I hope so much 1 of us get preggers soon -naturally or with IVF

I'm done waiting

Surely by the laws of averages one of us is due some luck soon. I'm due to ov. On Thurs and OH is away tonight with work and I'm late shifts tomorrow and Wed so other than some DTD over the weekend (which was probably too early) we will probably just get one other crack at it on Thursday this month.

I'm booked for another reflexology session Thursday to coincide with ov. And will try and have a session around ov the next couple of months see if it helps me relax about it all.

@Alexis when does the hormone injections etc start for you? I'm still uneducated with iVF only just started reading up about the exact ins and outs....medical stuff doesn't tell you the real story does it...x

So my next appt is 23rd Oct which is the screening test - usually this is your 1st appt once you are at the top of the waiting list. In this appt you get bloods done to check hormone levels so they know what protocol to put you on and the do virology swabs. You then have about 6 weeks wait for the next appt to get your virology results back and then at this appt they tell you what protocol your going on (what injections you need to take and for how long ) you sign your consent paperwork in this appt too so this should be end of Nov for us. At that point they will tell me to phone in on the 1st day of my next period to book in for an appt 21 days after that to start the process of scans to track your cycle and injections to start as they basically stop your natural cycle and take control of it and boost your egg production for retrieval ...But this will fall around xmas time so I suspect I will start my injections in January instead around the 2nd or 3rd week ( at a guess as its all if there is space for me too) so it's even a long wait once your at the top of the list.

I reckon we have this cycle and 2 more to ttc before our 1st round of IVF kicks off.

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

@Alexis all super exciting now must be so nice to feel like you are finally taking back a bit of control and things are moving forward.

I would just be so happy for you if you could get some luck before then....but if not we will be here for you through every injection...appt...poke...prod...poas....#teamlongtermers

 

[Peony1]

@Alexis all super exciting now must be so nice to feel like you are finally taking back a bit of control and things are moving forward.

I would just be so happy for you if you could get some luck before then....but if not we will be here for you through every injection...appt...poke...prod...poas....#teamlongtermers

Love the hashtag! I’ve never been part of an online forum before, but I honestly don’t know what I’d do without this board (and particularly this thread) it’s nice to rant and moan to people who completely understand, even if it’s not in real life!!! Really glad you’re both having positive steps

Talking of ranting and moaning.... cycle day 28 but is likely to turn into day 1 as my stomach cramps have started. This month has really hit me hard. I thought I’d turned a corner a couple of months ago, but now I feel like I’ve hit a massive wall. I guess officially hitting the 2 year mark probably doesn’t help. And I’m really fed up at work. I’m desperate to leave. Can’t help but think how if I’d have got pregnant ages ago, work wouldn’t be a problem now (I don’t plan to stay there). I’m looking for other work but I haven’t found anything yet. I’m just soooo fed up, I’m constantly crying at the moment. No motivation to do all the things I should be doing to help me get a baby, like exercise, eating well etc. I just want to go on holiday for about a 6 months and avoid all responsibility, worries and annoying people who say stupid things. Aaaaghhh.

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

@Alexis all super exciting now must be so nice to feel like you are finally taking back a bit of control and things are moving forward.

I would just be so happy for you if you could get some luck before then....but if not we will be here for you through every injection...appt...poke...prod...poas....#teamlongtermers

Love the hashtag! I’ve never been part of an online forum before, but I honestly don’t know what I’d do without this board (and particularly this thread) it’s nice to rant and moan to people who completely understand, even if it’s not in real life!!! Really glad you’re both having positive steps

Talking of ranting and moaning.... cycle day 28 but is likely to turn into day 1 as my stomach cramps have started. This month has really hit me hard. I thought I’d turned a corner a couple of months ago, but now I feel like I’ve hit a massive wall. I guess officially hitting the 2 year mark probably doesn’t help. And I’m really fed up at work. I’m desperate to leave. Can’t help but think how if I’d have got pregnant ages ago, work wouldn’t be a problem now (I don’t plan to stay there). I’m looking for other work but I haven’t found anything yet. I’m just soooo fed up, I’m constantly crying at the moment. No motivation to do all the things I should be doing to help me get a baby, like exercise, eating well etc. I just want to go on holiday for about a 6 months and avoid all responsibility, worries and annoying people who say stupid things. Aaaaghhh.

Aw sucks peony....stupid witch and her kicking us in the gut. I have hit that wall on more than one occasion and ..you can't go round it....you can't go over it...the only option is to smash through it and take back control.

What do you do for work? I know what u mean....I actually like my job I just keep thinking I thought I would be returning part time from maternity leave by now....not still bot pregnant!

If you go on that holiday can I come too....prefably a sandy beach with blue ocean please!

 

[Peony1]

I work in admin and I used to work in a lovely team but now all the lovely ones have gone and I get taken advantage of massively! I should have left a long time ago but I didn’t cos I was waiting to get pregnant

I only went on holiday recently and we said we wouldn’t go on any more now so we can save for ivf if we need it. So I definitely don’t think a 6 month holiday is going to happen

You’re so right, I’ve felt like this before and it helps to think of it like that so that I know I will get through it.

Still waiting for af to arrive. Cramps have gone but that’s probably cos I took paracetamol earlier. It worries me when spotting lasts for this long...this is the 3rd day now. I wish the docs would tell me why I spot nowadays! Every time Ive mentioned it in the past, they haven’t given me an answer as to why I get it.

 

[Alexis2017]

#teamlongtermers love it.

I had my smear yesterday and still got some bleeding from it. We managed to dtd last night but it was so awful as I went out a big long run the day before and all my muscles were so achey and he has a pulled muscle so it was a tick box rushed job to just get it done...

I can't plan or book any holidays for next year its just too risky.

I spoke to my manager again and told her I was taking 2 days off for my egg retrieval and I wanted to use 1 week annual leave for post tegg transfer and wanted off the on call rota for my treatment. I am going to ask my doc to write a letter to say I can't do 24/7 oncall as I could be out wiring all night then have hospital appts etc and it's ling hours as we are not protected by the European working directive with the 12hr between shifts so we can work crazy amount of hours if on call is busy.

I'm now just worrying about the results of my smear...things always go bad for me so am hoping ots not abnormal cells etc then after my screening appt I will be worried it shows I've got some horrible silent virus or god knows what...I always think the worst. I just want to try to start believing I can be a Mother. It's so hard when you have created this world where it just doesn't happen to me!

We are only the CD 13 and 15 thid cycle...then prob try 4 days in a row for our 2nd last attempt pre IVF... Sometimes it doesn't feel like It's happening to me.

I really really want to make our smallest spare room in to nursery...it be so cute but I just feel like I am a fake women ..I don't know how to change my mind set. I've tried visualisation and stuff..It's just totally stuck

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

#teamlongtermers love it.

I had my smear yesterday and still got some bleeding from it. We managed to dtd last night but it was so awful as I went out a big long run the day before and all my muscles were so achey and he has a pulled muscle so it was a tick box rushed job to just get it done...

I can't plan or book any holidays for next year its just too risky.

I spoke to my manager again and told her I was taking 2 days off for my egg retrieval and I wanted to use 1 week annual leave for post tegg transfer and wanted off the on call rota for my treatment. I am going to ask my doc to write a letter to say I can't do 24/7 oncall as I could be out wiring all night then have hospital appts etc and it's ling hours as we are not protected by the European working directive with the 12hr between shifts so we can work crazy amount of hours if on call is busy.

I'm now just worrying about the results of my smear...things always go bad for me so am hoping ots not abnormal cells etc then after my screening appt I will be worried it shows I've got some horrible silent virus or god knows what...I always think the worst. I just want to try to start believing I can be a Mother. It's so hard when you have created this world where it just doesn't happen to me!

We are only the CD 13 and 15 thid cycle...then prob try 4 days in a row for our 2nd last attempt pre IVF... Sometimes it doesn't feel like It's happening to me.

I really really want to make our smallest spare room in to nursery...it be so cute but I just feel like I am a fake women ..I don't know how to change my mind set. I've tried visualisation and stuff..It's just totally stuck

Smears suck but are so important....I'm sure you are all fine Alexis. Sending positive vibes your way...you are more than overdue s stroke of luck.

We have agreed to discuss a holiday for next year when we are off in November together. I think we both need something to focus forward to and maybe if we book it for early on next year we won't have ivf or pregnancy meaning we have to cancel. It's so hard to not put everything on hold.

Absolute high 5 for still DTD when in agony lol. We are failing dismally this week have only managed once on Sunday. I've been on late shifts and hubby was away for work. Due to ov today and off for some reflexology to chill out. So will give it our best shot tonightas that will be our last shot this cycle I think. Deep down I know we are not having enough sex but then this little voice keeps telling me it only takes once at the right time. Quality not quantity. Haha kidding myself I know.

I'm so pleased you are getting sorted for work and IVF I really hope they are supportive you absolutely should not be on the stupid shifts while going through it. I don't know what diff docs suggest but a manager at my work took 2 weeks sick leave after implantation to rest and give it the best shot. Think it depends on your doc but if you play the heavy work card they might sign you off.

I keep looking at all this baby product at work and want to buy just one little outfit to give me some positivity but I feel like I might jink things x

 

[Alexis2017]

#teamlongtermers love it.

I had my smear yesterday and still got some bleeding from it. We managed to dtd last night but it was so awful as I went out a big long run the day before and all my muscles were so achey and he has a pulled muscle so it was a tick box rushed job to just get it done...

I can't plan or book any holidays for next year its just too risky.

I spoke to my manager again and told her I was taking 2 days off for my egg retrieval and I wanted to use 1 week annual leave for post tegg transfer and wanted off the on call rota for my treatment. I am going to ask my doc to write a letter to say I can't do 24/7 oncall as I could be out wiring all night then have hospital appts etc and it's ling hours as we are not protected by the European working directive with the 12hr between shifts so we can work crazy amount of hours if on call is busy.

I'm now just worrying about the results of my smear...things always go bad for me so am hoping ots not abnormal cells etc then after my screening appt I will be worried it shows I've got some horrible silent virus or god knows what...I always think the worst. I just want to try to start believing I can be a Mother. It's so hard when you have created this world where it just doesn't happen to me!

We are only the CD 13 and 15 thid cycle...then prob try 4 days in a row for our 2nd last attempt pre IVF... Sometimes it doesn't feel like It's happening to me.

I really really want to make our smallest spare room in to nursery...it be so cute but I just feel like I am a fake women ..I don't know how to change my mind set. I've tried visualisation and stuff..It's just totally stuck

Smears suck but are so important....I'm sure you are all fine Alexis. Sending positive vibes your way...you are more than overdue s stroke of luck.

We have agreed to discuss a holiday for next year when we are off in November together. I think we both need something to focus forward to and maybe if we book it for early on next year we won't have ivf or pregnancy meaning we have to cancel. It's so hard to not put everything on hold.

Absolute high 5 for still DTD when in agony lol. We are failing dismally this week have only managed once on Sunday. I've been on late shifts and hubby was away for work. Due to ov today and off for some reflexology to chill out. So will give it our best shot tonightas that will be our last shot this cycle I think. Deep down I know we are not having enough sex but then this little voice keeps telling me it only takes once at the right time. Quality not quantity. Haha kidding myself I know.

I'm so pleased you are getting sorted for work and IVF I really hope they are supportive you absolutely should not be on the stupid shifts while going through it. I don't know what diff docs suggest but a manager at my work took 2 weeks sick leave after implantation to rest and give it the best shot. Think it depends on your doc but if you play the heavy work card they might sign you off.

I keep looking at all this baby product at work and want to buy just one little outfit to give me some positivity but I feel like I might jink things x

There has been so many baby outfits I've wanted to buy but I've resisted as It could just end up a wee sad sorry pile of 'the what could have been baby'

I just hate how my whole work know about my IVF but was no other way. They all prob dreading if it work as I will be off 1 year and no one to over there shifty school breaks etc hah I really need to try the tonight but really not in the mood and I am annoyed at myself for trying to little so close to ivf but I have given up and I don't see the point. I still think my infertility I related to my auto immune in some way and I'm convinced I have hypothyroidism but my bloods last year were just low end of normal yet I have all the symptoms. Got my coeliac appt next month so going to ask to 're check them again.

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

@Alexis I know exactly what you mean that's why u have resisted buying them...I can't imagine the pain if a baby never happened for us.

I don't know much about autoimmune etc that you mention but see can't hurt to ge them to check again.

We managed a quickie tonight so that's us pretty much for this month. Outside chance we might manage tomorrow I suppose but looks like I will be working late so unlikely. I just wish it could be fun during fertile period but it's almost impossible for it not to feel like going through the motions x

 

[MoominGirl]

Nikki - we worked on the 6 month rule for holidays and trips away unless it was something we were prepared to lose or could be easily cancelled. I always had leave booked from work knowing that something was going in there even if it wasn't going to be booked in right away.

Also I'm a great believer in quality over quantity as you know though I realise it's hard to hang on to hope at this stage. Think about how much better it is for your relationship not to be forcing yourselves to have sex and not particularly enjoying it. No one ever tells you how LTTTC kills your sex life though it isn't really surprising.

Alexis - is it worth having something small in the diary to look forward to? I'm thinking long weekend or spa day or something. I can understand not booking a big holiday but I definitely needed positive things to look forward to.

As a fellow NHS nurse, I decided that I was getting myself signed off sick at least from egg harvest until the end of the 2ww. If I'd had a lot of side effects from stimulation, I'd have got signed off earlier. I couldn't have dealt with everyone knowing and trying to get to scans around my shifts. Also I resented the idea of using annual leave as that could have been much better used if things hadn't gone our way. I'm the sort of person who is hardly ever off sick but I needed to know we had done everything we could and being at work just wouldn't have been the priority. I have plenty of pressure in my job but yours sound much worse. I did think of positive things I could do to fill the time so I didn't go stir crazy!!

 

[Alexis2017]

@Alexis I know exactly what you mean that's why u have resisted buying them...I can't imagine the pain if a baby never happened for us.

I don't know much about autoimmune etc that you mention but see can't hurt to ge them to check again.

We managed a quickie tonight so that's us pretty much for this month. Outside chance we might manage tomorrow I suppose but looks like I will be working late so unlikely. I just wish it could be fun during fertile period but it's almost impossible for it not to feel like going through the motions x

Exactly ...It's the worst now. I'm forcing myself and it feels horrible... we only tried twice this cycle and I know it's pointless.

Moomin- I've got a wee trip to Amsterdam in Nov to see my friends band play a gig...then that will be it ! I just want to focus on getting myself in a better place for IVF. I've started taking my supplements again and just trying to get myself to believe it's possible and be more positive but it's mega mega hard

 

[Unicorn]

Hi ladies, I honestly can't believe I'm writing this but I've just found out that I'm pregnant! After everything we went through last time it is totally unbelievable that we conceived on our own and I am in complete shock! I really hope that this gives you some hope that it can happen as I'm so sorry to read that you're all having such a rough time, I totally know how it feels!
Can I ask if anyone has tried any treatment other than IVF? I'm surprised that it seems that is the first option, without trying clomid or anything? Peony, I used to spot for days before my period before I got pregnant last time and it was because of low progesterone levels so I used suppositories from ovulation up until I was 13 weeks in order to support and maintain the pregnancy xx

 

[Peony1]

Wow, huge congratulations Unicorn

Do you know if spotting always means low progesterone levels? Sorry if I’m being a bit dense but what are suppositories? Did this stop the spotting? And would I need to see my GP about it?

We were not offered anything other than IVF - I think because all our tests came back fine, I was under the impression other treatments weren’t relevant to us.

Hope you have a happy and healthy 9 months! So pleased you haven’t got to go through struggling to ttc again

 

[Unicorn]

Thank you Peony. Have you asked for your test results back from the GP? We were told that all our tests were fine but we asked for our results to take to a private fertility consultant and it turned out that although they were in the 'normal' range, they were at the very bottom of a large scale so the fertility consultant said that they weren't actually ok and that the spotting signified low progesterone levels which meant I probably wasn't ovulating or even if I was my progesterone levels were too low to sustain implantation or the start of a pregnancy! Seeing a private fertility consultant was the best thing we did, he was really thorough and I had his mobile number so I could contact him at any time to ask anything which meant I felt much more trusting and in control than I did with the NHS. He was also really positive and willing to try different things because he had so much experience. The suppositories were progesterone gel which I inserted into my vagina every night following ovulation up until af or 13 weeks and I never had any spotting using them xx

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

@unicorn so many congratulations...it's lovely to hear some good news at last. So pleased that you got their in your own this time after such a rough ride with your first. Wishing you a very happy and healthy 9 months x

 

[MoominGirl]

Huge congratulations Unicorn!! We had a lot of problems but since we caught, I've been told so many stories of people who struggled for their first but fell easily with their second or more.

 

[Unicorn]

Thank you ever so much, I still can't believe it xx