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Long termers 6 months or more

So sorry to not read any good news on this thread yet! I had my first ever dream the other night that I had a positive pregnancy test and it was a really strong line. It was such a vivid dream too. It’s sad, but it put me in a good mood all day :lol: I always, always have dreams that af has arrived so it made a nice change! It couldn’t have even been one of those dreams people say they have and then find out they’re pregnant cos it was before I’d ovulated, but still, it was a nice dream to have! Praying that it comes true one day very soon! Hope everyone starts to feel better soon, just remember as much as you feel alone, you’re really not xx


Thanks peony....you are right....we have to stay strong with our partners in this as it is all too easy to shut each other out. But also the support we have here is amazing. I don't know what i would have done without it x
 
So went for my first reflexology treatment this morning. I have to say it was so relaxing....I dissolved into the cosy warm bed which was no surprise as I have always loved massages. This was different though....I was still conscious of how my body was feeling. Certain areas gave me shooting heat feelings up my legs which was intriguing.

I didn't discuss beforehand which areas related to ovaries etc (but my therapist knows this is why I was there) I was interested to see how it all felt and if any areas felt tense.

Around my ankles and down sides of my heels and across front of ankles felt almost gristly when do did those areas...like mini knots.

When i spoke to her afterwards she said those areas related to ovaries etc and the gristly feeling they call congestion.

I was day 3 of AF today so I will def be interested to go back maybe around ovulation time and see if it feels different cos I said maybe that congestion relates to me being on my period as there is something 'going on' in that area obviously when you are bleeding.

Overall though I would say positive experience....pleased I went to a lady I trust. Will def go back ....especially with work and everything as it is at the moment I figure that anything that gets me to relax must be a good thing.

After all that's all everyone ever tells us long termers to do! Relax and it will happen!

How's everyone feeling ? Friday feeling? Weekend off? Anyone got hols to looks forward to? Trying to go to my happy place during treatment today got me thinking of beaches and sunshine x
 
Sorry Nikki. It never gets easier to accept.
We didn't even try last cycle , I didn't want too , the disappointment hurts too much. At spotting started today. I am really struggling now. I've had a few mini emotional breakdowns in work and I feel like I am on the edge of just falling to pieces at any moment. How the heck did I get here ? How will I start mending the pieces back together and prepare for IVF. I keep trying to start but I can't find the start line...I can't seem to build myself stronger instead I am getting worse. I have my smear test in 2 weeks and I m now not sleeping at night for worrying about the results. I just feel like I am on a spiral downwards to nothing but pure hell on top of hell.

I just wanted to have a baby. I just wanted to be a family. I just wanted to paint a nursery and pick out names. I really don't know how I went from fluffy clouds and nursery rhymes to this nightmare.

Aw Alexis I really don't know how we got here either. I think back to hope much we discussed and planned when we wanted to try....I should have just had my coil out when we got married as would have mostly likely still not fallen pregnant anyway.

I wonder if anyone specialises in fertility councilling.....how can you though if you haven't been through it I really don't think anyone can understand the pain.

AF arrived for me today 3 days early. Only.saving grace is I cam say with certainty to docs next week I'm not pg. Where do we go from here? Xx

There is fertility counselling. You are entitled to a few cycles alongside IVF. We actually lined up a counsellor ourselves as the clinic we would have used was so far away it just wouldn't have been practical. It took me a long time to accept the idea. OH put it to me many times as he could see how much I was struggling but I kept refusing. Once IVF was a real prospect, I finally agreed as by that point I felt like it would have been useful to have somewhere to go for support as it felt unfair to keep burdening my OH as he was going through it too. We would have had a fixed slot each week either for us both to attend or individually. We didn't feel we had issues between us so I would have gone alone the majority of the time but on the weeks I couldn't make it, he would have used the slot. By that point I had given up on everything else and was about to ditch the acupuncture so it didn't seem unreasonable to try and sort my head out so I was in the best place for IVF starting.

As far feeling like someone else understands, I think you really have to find the right person. I think you can still specialise in an area that you don't have direct experience of. Also from a counselling point of view, I guess it would be you doing most of the talking and you would find that easier with someone you felt comfortable with.

Having said that, the first acupuncturist I saw specialised in fertility and initially it felt good to talk about things with her. My feelings really changed the week she volunteered the information that she was 45, had a 1 year old who was an accident and then proceeded to tell me how hilarious her and her husband thought this was!! My treatments with her ended swiftly after that!! So right person is definitely important.

Sorry AF got you. Hope everything goes well at the doctors.
 
So AF got me today.
Now officially 6 months and counting

I'm sorry hearyou. I remember the 6 month mark well....I think that was when it felt like it was suddenly a significant amount of time and I felt like we moved from excitement to concern.

I hope you are managing to keep positive...plenty of support here and ears to bend. Xx
 
Hi ladies, I hope you don't mind me gatecrashing. I was involved in a similar thread to this one a few years ago when we were struggling to conceive and unfortunately find ourselves back in this position again. We are very blessed to have a gorgeous 2 year old son but we struggle to have babies so knew we were likely to end up in the ltttc boat again. We've been TTC this time since March and I appreciated the support of this group so much last time I'd like to get involved again if that's ok? Xx
 
Hi ladies, I hope you don't mind me gatecrashing. I was involved in a similar thread to this one a few years ago when we were struggling to conceive and unfortunately find ourselves back in this position again. We are very blessed to have a gorgeous 2 year old son but we struggle to have babies so knew we were likely to end up in the ltttc boat again. We've been TTC this time since March and I appreciated the support of this group so much last time I'd like to get involved again if that's ok? Xx

Absolutely...welcome to you! Us LTTTC certainly are a small bunch and I don't know where I would be without the support of the lovely ladies on here.

Many congrats on your beautiful boy....always nice to hear that miracle babies exist at the end of this long journey. I hope No.2 comes more swiftly for you. How long did it take for you to conceive first time round? Xx
 
Thank you. Yes, miracle babies certainly do exist. Ours came against the odds after 15 months of trying extremely hard, including a laparoscopy, fallopian tube removal, 4 months of clomid, HCG injections and progesterone suppositories until 13 weeks xx
 
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Hi ladies, how are you all doing?

I’ve been trying to stay away as I feel like I can obsess and it just makes it harder every month. Every month I feel like I’m waiting longer and longer for af as my periods just get more irregular. Now my app is telling me my average cycle is 42 days. I hate waiting so long every cycle, most girls nearly have two or more cycles in the time I’m waiting for mine.

We’ve been waiting 4 weeks now for dh sa results and we can’t get a referall to the fertility clinic until they are back. Nearly 14 months of trying and I feel like I really just need that referral to feel like I am at least moving towards my goal.
 
Thank you. Yes, miracle babies certainly do exist. Ours came against the odds after 15 months of trying extremely hard, including a laparoscopy, fallopian tube removal, 4 months of clomid, HCG injections and progesterone suppositories until 13 weeks xx

Wow how incredibly strong you must be to have gone through all of that and be prepared to try again. I hope this time is easier for you and having had one baby has helped your body know the way.

Sending you much good luck and baby dust x
 
Hi ladies, how are you all doing?

I’ve been trying to stay away as I feel like I can obsess and it just makes it harder every month. Every month I feel like I’m waiting longer and longer for af as my periods just get more irregular. Now my app is telling me my average cycle is 42 days. I hate waiting so long every cycle, most girls nearly have two or more cycles in the time I’m waiting for mine.

We’ve been waiting 4 weeks now for dh sa results and we can’t get a referall to the fertility clinic until they are back. Nearly 14 months of trying and I feel like I really just need that referral to feel like I am at least moving towards my goal.

Hi iris. Good to hear from you. I can't begin to imagine how tough it is having cycles that long. I have had 2 like that in the last year and it was torture.

4 weeks seems like a long time to wait? Is this through nhs? I can't remember where you said you are based. My OH had to call for his....he waited and waited and I said just ring the GP and they had them all along and were pretty blase about it just read them out over the phone.

I hope they come back soon for you so you can get some forward motion like you say x
 
Hi ladies, how are you all doing?

I’ve been trying to stay away as I feel like I can obsess and it just makes it harder every month. Every month I feel like I’m waiting longer and longer for af as my periods just get more irregular. Now my app is telling me my average cycle is 42 days. I hate waiting so long every cycle, most girls nearly have two or more cycles in the time I’m waiting for mine.

We’ve been waiting 4 weeks now for dh sa results and we can’t get a referall to the fertility clinic until they are back. Nearly 14 months of trying and I feel like I really just need that referral to feel like I am at least moving towards my goal.

Hi iris. Good to hear from you. I can't begin to imagine how tough it is having cycles that long. I have had 2 like that in the last year and it was torture.

4 weeks seems like a long time to wait? Is this through nhs? I can't remember where you said you are based. My OH had to call for his....he waited and waited and I said just ring the GP and they had them all along and were pretty blase about it just read them out over the phone.

I hope they come back soon for you so you can get some forward motion like you say x

We are in East Anglia, I know we can’t get nhs funded ivf but I wanted to see if we can get all of the tests done on the nhs before we go private so that we atleast save some money, but now I’m not so sure I can deal with the waiting times, he called last week and they still didn’t have them but I’m going to get him to call again this week.
 
Thank you Nikkibiscuit and miamia - yeah, it was hard going, I've got a very rare uterus abnormality where I've only got half a uterus, which I only found out when we were TTC so our son really is a miracle and we know we might not be so lucky to have another but it's definitely worth another go. I wish you all all the luck in the world as well - someone told me when we were at our darkest place that the only people who don't have children, one way or another, are those who give up - that really kept me going as we are all obviously very strong and determined women and we can do this! Xx
 
Anyone else feel like it’s all on you and that you’re the reason you’re not pregnant yet? My husband is a calm person, eats well, exercises, does all the right things and has been told his SA results were above average. And then here I am, constantly being told I need to change - I need to eat better, exercise more but not too much, stress less - ironically that last one instantly stresses me to the max! I’m sick of having to change who I am and my entire routine in life, yet my husband can carry on as normal! Every time I get af, I think things like ‘I shouldn’t have got annoyed that one time’ or I should have drank more water during ovulation or other stupid things. Aaaarhh so sick of this!
 
Hi ladies, how are you all doing?

I’ve been trying to stay away as I feel like I can obsess and it just makes it harder every month. Every month I feel like I’m waiting longer and longer for af as my periods just get more irregular. Now my app is telling me my average cycle is 42 days. I hate waiting so long every cycle, most girls nearly have two or more cycles in the time I’m waiting for mine.

We’ve been waiting 4 weeks now for dh sa results and we can’t get a referall to the fertility clinic until they are back. Nearly 14 months of trying and I feel like I really just need that referral to feel like I am at least moving towards my goal.

Hi iris. Good to hear from you. I can't begin to imagine how tough it is having cycles that long. I have had 2 like that in the last year and it was torture.

4 weeks seems like a long time to wait? Is this through nhs? I can't remember where you said you are based. My OH had to call for his....he waited and waited and I said just ring the GP and they had them all along and were pretty blase about it just read them out over the phone.

I hope they come back soon for you so you can get some forward motion like you say x

We are in East Anglia, I know we can’t get nhs funded ivf but I wanted to see if we can get all of the tests done on the nhs before we go private so that we atleast save some money, but now I’m not so sure I can deal with the waiting times, he called last week and they still didn’t have them but I’m going to get him to call again this week.

That's rubbish iris. I think we got told 2 weeks and my OH left it until nearly 3 before he actually chased up. But the GP had them when he called.

Our docs said that SA is pretty much a ticky box exercise as it doesn't tell them an awful lot unless there is a low sperm count. Otherwise I think it's pretty much....there is some guys there doing their thing so all is ok.

Guessing there is a reason u can't get nhs IVF that you know of already. I have no idea what the protocol is in the north east x
 
Hi ladies, how are you all doing?

I’ve been trying to stay away as I feel like I can obsess and it just makes it harder every month. Every month I feel like I’m waiting longer and longer for af as my periods just get more irregular. Now my app is telling me my average cycle is 42 days. I hate waiting so long every cycle, most girls nearly have two or more cycles in the time I’m waiting for mine.

We’ve been waiting 4 weeks now for dh sa results and we can’t get a referall to the fertility clinic until they are back. Nearly 14 months of trying and I feel like I really just need that referral to feel like I am at least moving towards my goal.

Hi iris. Good to hear from you. I can't begin to imagine how tough it is having cycles that long. I have had 2 like that in the last year and it was torture.

4 weeks seems like a long time to wait? Is this through nhs? I can't remember where you said you are based. My OH had to call for his....he waited and waited and I said just ring the GP and they had them all along and were pretty blase about it just read them out over the phone.

I hope they come back soon for you so you can get some forward motion like you say x

We are in East Anglia, I know we can’t get nhs funded ivf but I wanted to see if we can get all of the tests done on the nhs before we go private so that we atleast save some money, but now I’m not so sure I can deal with the waiting times, he called last week and they still didn’t have them but I’m going to get him to call again this week.

That's rubbish iris. I think we got told 2 weeks and my OH left it until nearly 3 before he actually chased up. But the GP had them when he called.

Our docs said that SA is pretty much a ticky box exercise as it doesn't tell them an awful lot unless there is a low sperm count. Otherwise I think it's pretty much....there is some guys there doing their thing so all is ok.

Guessing there is a reason u can't get nhs IVF that you know of already. I have no idea what the protocol is in the north east x

Nikki, if you genuinely want to know what the provision is in your area, there's lots of info on the Fertility Fairness website. What you get depends on your CCG which is based on where your GP is not your address. I got all my information from there as the doctors literally told us nothing. As we're in the South East, NHS funding is pretty grim like SugaryIris says but as you're North East, you'll probably be far better off. It will tell you how many cycles you can have, how they define a cycle and any other criteria you need to meet in order to qualify. I found it really useful so hopefully that helps.
 
Thank you Nikkibiscuit and miamia - yeah, it was hard going, I've got a very rare uterus abnormality where I've only got half a uterus, which I only found out when we were TTC so our son really is a miracle and we know we might not be so lucky to have another but it's definitely worth another go. I wish you all all the luck in the world as well - someone told me when we were at our darkest place that the only people who don't have children, one way or another, are those who give up - that really kept me going as we are all obviously very strong and determined women and we can do this! Xx

Wow....amazing certainly a unicorn baby then! Much respect for you trying again.

Interesting perspective too. I think I'm having that battle of just how much strength and determination do i have to see this through...as like you say only the ones who give up don't have children in some way. It really is an unbelievably difficult journey with many tough decisions along the way x
 
Anyone else feel like it’s all on you and that you’re the reason you’re not pregnant yet? My husband is a calm person, eats well, exercises, does all the right things and has been told his SA results were above average. And then here I am, constantly being told I need to change - I need to eat better, exercise more but not too much, stress less - ironically that last one instantly stresses me to the max! I’m sick of having to change who I am and my entire routine in life, yet my husband can carry on as normal! Every time I get af, I think things like ‘I shouldn’t have got annoyed that one time’ or I should have drank more water during ovulation or other stupid things. Aaaarhh so sick of this!

I know what you mean peony. We track everything...calculate...knicker obsess...take vitamins....don't smoke....limit alcohol

And then they just carry on like normal.

I've had the argument for 2 years now with OH about smoking....he doesn't smoke day to day but get a pint in his hand on a weekend and half a pack go down. I've tried moaning....being nice....pleading my case but still when the fancy takes him.

I really worry about if we end up needing IVF how I will feel about having to deal with so much pressure on me....I struggle to cope now sometimes.
 
Today was tough ladies. The latest mat leave goer brought her baby in. Everyine had a good of the baby and baby chat and everyine talked about their babies while I was the infertile failure in the corner. I felt awkward as hell and It was torturerous.

As for talking about it being the women's fault I feel like that all the time het I hardly drink, I don't smoke I look after must. I'm not over weight yet hubby is on the e cig...he drinks loads beer , he stays up late and drinks so much coffee and even though we are due to hit 2 years trying in December and start IVF between Dec-Jan theres no commitment with making improvement. The doc told him to take supplements luke zinc and multi vits just as an added help but he hasn't. We have our screening test appt 23rd and protocol bloods. We didn't even try last cycle. AF is just about gone and then it's count down to one of our last month's naturally ttc.

I hope everyone is hanging on in there..this will be my 3rd xmas ttc as we started just before Xmas 2016 but was 1st cycle across dec/Jan.

I have almost got 20k for my friends charity and I've raised 1k for a homelessness spincership sleep out in December ! Keeping busy with jewellery orders and our new rescue dog from Serbia comes over and of Nov.
 
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