Long termers 6 months or more

[Akua]

@nikki I had fertility reflexology and I honestly thought it was great (and I thought it was a load of rubbish before I tried it, a friend had to talk me into trying it). Not only was it really relaxing, but it changed my cycle from being 40 days long to being a normal length and to be honest it’s the only thing I’ve done different this time and so far, I’ve managed to stay oregnanct (touch wood) I’m currently 13+1. Also I once went mentioning I’d hurt my shoulder and she said she’d work on that during the session - by the end when I stood up the pain was totally gone

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

@nikki I had fertility reflexology and I honestly thought it was great (and I thought it was a load of rubbish before I tried it, a friend had to talk me into trying it). Not only was it really relaxing, but it changed my cycle from being 40 days long to being a normal length and to be honest it’s the only thing I’ve done different this time and so far, I’ve managed to stay oregnanct (touch wood) I’m currently 13+1. Also I once went mentioning I’d hurt my shoulder and she said she’d work on that during the session - by the end when I stood up the pain was totally gone

Thanks Akua that's really interesting. I'm thinking I may give it a go if nothing else to help with stress. Just need to get hubby on board cos I can't afford to pay for it at the min out of my spends and if it's mutual benefit then I'm sure we can share the costs lol x

 

[Akua]

I think mine was about £27 for an hours treatment. I only had it once a month as it’s best to do it when you’re ovulating

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

Well this month may as well be a write off. We only managed to BD on CD 10 and on CD15 I was due to ov CD 17 according to app. In theory one or both times could have been close enough to ovulation but I've already written this month off....if we can't manage it when we BD 6 or 7 times within the fertile period then once possibly twice isn't going to cut it.

Totally knackered from full on 3 days at work...one more day to go tomorrow then off Tues but for family visiting this week so gonna be another manic week x

 

[MoominGirl]

Has anyone on here tried reflexology and or acupuncture? I think Alexis you have talked about acupuncture before?

From what I can tell there is no evidence that is conclusive to say that either could support fertility. I just wondered if anyone had experience. Reflexology in particular for relaxation and stress reduction I wondered if maybe could help indirectly?

Clutched at straws I guess but sick of feeling like there is nothing we can do x

I tried both of these when I was desperately clutching at straws and thought I'd share a few things. Obviously just my opinion and I will warn you it's not particularly positive but here goes!!

Reflexology - I personally didn't get anything out of it at all. Don't get me wrong the therapist came to my house and she was very nice so it was also good to talk. The treatment itself was perfectly pleasant and if you enjoy that sort of thing from a relaxation point of view then go for it. For me, I couldn't justify it for helping fertility so I stopped.

Acupuncture - first acupuncturist I tried again did absolutely nothing for me. Again it was good to talk but that was all. I changed acupuncturist as I'd heard so many good things about it and to be fair I did find the second treatments more relaxing but not so much so that I could justify the cost.

Clearly I'm not really a fan of either but I know lots of ladies swear by these things. I think the advice I'd give my former self would be this:
- Try and go on a recommendation if you can. Probably easier said than done as people don't tend to be very open about fertility problems. I basically just looked for someone local that could see me around work but I dread to think how much I sunk into it and really didn't gain anything. I think the trouble is that as soon as they put fertility in front of anything it's easy to get swept in.
- It's always ok to do something for you just because it makes you feel good and lowers your stress levels. Looking back, I wish I'd just had a treatment that I enjoyed in it's own right as at least it would have made me feel good.
- If you do decide to give something a try then set a realistic goal and a timeframe to achieve it. I really wish I'd done that sooner. For me the light bulb moment was when I was seeing the first acupuncturist who had told me the treatments should help with period pain. When my next period arrived with a vengeance after seeing her for months I decided enough was enough!!
- Also on that note, I realised in hindsight that lots of the positive stories were from ladies who had a specific diagnosis (PCOS, endometriosis etc). I never had any problems with my cycles other than a bit of cramping so I guess I could never have expected a solution to a problem that wasn't there in the first place.

For me, I'd have been better off having a relaxing massage or something like that once a month. Hope that's helpful.

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

Thanks @moomin

I have booked in for reflexology end of next week. I have a lady who does beauty therapy amongst other treatments and she is Fab and takes her training very seriously...She is also trained in pregnancy massage etc etc. I have seen her for massage and other beauty treatments so I trust her that she isn't ripping me off in false fertility pretenses. I also know a friends mum who goes to her for reflexology for back and leg pain and she loves it...says it really helps her and is super relaxing.

So I figure I don't have much to lose....If nothing else will get a snooze on a nice warm bed lol. Right not anything to help me relax has to be good cos I have been wound tight like a coil the last few weeks x

 

[MoominGirl]

Thanks @moomin

I have booked in for reflexology end of next week. I have a lady who does beauty therapy amongst other treatments and she is Fab and takes her training very seriously...She is also trained in pregnancy massage etc etc. I have seen her for massage and other beauty treatments so I trust her that she isn't ripping me off in false fertility pretenses. I also know a friends mum who goes to her for reflexology for back and leg pain and she loves it...says it really helps her and is super relaxing.

So I figure I don't have much to lose....If nothing else will get a snooze on a nice warm bed lol. Right not anything to help me relax has to be good cos I have been wound tight like a coil the last few weeks x

Sounds like a good plan. I think as long as you're going for relaxation and your own wellbeing first, fertility second then it's a much better approach. There's definitely no harm in trying. I don't regret giving things a go, I just wish I'd realised sooner that it was time to give up!!

Hope you're doing as ok as you can and it helps you to relax a bit.

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

@moomin how are you getting on with your bump? Must be getting exciting now? What is your due date?

 

[MoominGirl]

@moomin how are you getting on with your bump? Must be getting exciting now? What is your due date?

The pregnancy has gone so well so far. I've been really lucky with symptoms in that I've barely had any. I like to think I deserve some good luck after all we went through to get to this point.

Even though it's getting so much closer (due November), I still can't believe it has actually happened for us. I still remember just how miserable LTTTC is and I never thought we'd be one of the couples you read about who comes out the other end.

Thinking back, I'm sure I recall the 18 months - 2 years mark being the toughest emotionally. I think it was because that's the point where you are forced to accept that this might not be as easy as they made out in school. Also the investigation process is so long winded and often they don't find anything wrong. That's not particularly reassuring when you're told everything is ok but you're still not pregnant.

Also just reading one of your other posts about not doing it enough in the fertile period to be in with a chance. The month we caught was the month we tried the least hard out of the whole 3 years we were trying. We dtd twice. Once on the day of positive OPK and once 2 days later. We were the least stressed we had been as well.

We basically had a long chat about the pressures and the routine. As my cycles were so regular, we agreed that we would have 2 attempts each cycle over the fertile window with OPKs to guide and that would be it. That way we would know we had tried but weren't putting pressure on ourselves any more as dtd had become solely about conception by this point which was quite sad. The rest of the month would then be ours to do as we wished. We had been forcing ourselves to dtd as much as possible over the fertile period that neither of us enjoyed it anymore. I think there's something to be said for quality over quantity. As there had been some questions over OH's sperm analysis, we were both happy with the theory that giving him time to recover might not be a bad thing.

Of course I'm not suggesting that is all it takes but taking away a good chunk of the pressure and stress was definitely a good thing. We would have felt so much better going forward as it really did feel like a weight had been lifted even if we weren't expecting it to influence the outcome.

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

@moomin how are you getting on with your bump? Must be getting exciting now? What is your due date?

The pregnancy has gone so well so far. I've been really lucky with symptoms in that I've barely had any. I like to think I deserve some good luck after all we went through to get to this point.

Even though it's getting so much closer (due November), I still can't believe it has actually happened for us. I still remember just how miserable LTTTC is and I never thought we'd be one of the couples you read about who comes out the other end.

Thinking back, I'm sure I recall the 18 months - 2 years mark being the toughest emotionally. I think it was because that's the point where you are forced to accept that this might not be as easy as they made out in school. Also the investigation process is so long winded and often they don't find anything wrong. That's not particularly reassuring when you're told everything is ok but you're still not pregnant.

Also just reading one of your other posts about not doing it enough in the fertile period to be in with a chance. The month we caught was the month we tried the least hard out of the whole 3 years we were trying. We dtd twice. Once on the day of positive OPK and once 2 days later. We were the least stressed we had been as well.

We basically had a long chat about the pressures and the routine. As my cycles were so regular, we agreed that we would have 2 attempts each cycle over the fertile window with OPKs to guide and that would be it. That way we would know we had tried but weren't putting pressure on ourselves any more as dtd had become solely about conception by this point which was quite sad. The rest of the month would then be ours to do as we wished. We had been forcing ourselves to dtd as much as possible over the fertile period that neither of us enjoyed it anymore. I think there's something to be said for quality over quantity. As there had been some questions over OH's sperm analysis, we were both happy with the theory that giving him time to recover might not be a bad thing.

Of course I'm not suggesting that is all it takes but taking away a good chunk of the pressure and stress was definitely a good thing. We would have felt so much better going forward as it really did feel like a weight had been lifted even if we weren't expecting it to influence the outcome.

Thanks moomin. We have both been so bogged down with work this month DTD has been so far from our minds. On a positive note the one day that was potentially in line we had sex a couple of times and it was for fun really as we had been so knackered it had been a good couple of weeks.

It's hard not to get stuck in a rut....you DTD during fertile week then are so knackered end up having a week to recover then next thing you now it's AF so that writes off nearly another week and before you know it you are back in the fertile period and that was probably the last time we DTD.

TTC is exhausting for sure. Not matter how hard you try to switch off from it and relax and go with the flow....maybe when we hit the 2 year mark I will finally relax about it all. I am getting better mainly cos it hasn't worked this far so I don't see the point anymore of stressing so much about how often we have sex. There see your positivity rubbed off on me! Xx

 

[Alexis2017]

@moomin how are you getting on with your bump? Must be getting exciting now? What is your due date?

The pregnancy has gone so well so far. I've been really lucky with symptoms in that I've barely had any. I like to think I deserve some good luck after all we went through to get to this point.

Even though it's getting so much closer (due November), I still can't believe it has actually happened for us. I still remember just how miserable LTTTC is and I never thought we'd be one of the couples you read about who comes out the other end.

Thinking back, I'm sure I recall the 18 months - 2 years mark being the toughest emotionally. I think it was because that's the point where you are forced to accept that this might not be as easy as they made out in school. Also the investigation process is so long winded and often they don't find anything wrong. That's not particularly reassuring when you're told everything is ok but you're still not pregnant.

Also just reading one of your other posts about not doing it enough in the fertile period to be in with a chance. The month we caught was the month we tried the least hard out of the whole 3 years we were trying. We dtd twice. Once on the day of positive OPK and once 2 days later. We were the least stressed we had been as well.

We basically had a long chat about the pressures and the routine. As my cycles were so regular, we agreed that we would have 2 attempts each cycle over the fertile window with OPKs to guide and that would be it. That way we would know we had tried but weren't putting pressure on ourselves any more as dtd had become solely about conception by this point which was quite sad. The rest of the month would then be ours to do as we wished. We had been forcing ourselves to dtd as much as possible over the fertile period that neither of us enjoyed it anymore. I think there's something to be said for quality over quantity. As there had been some questions over OH's sperm analysis, we were both happy with the theory that giving him time to recover might not be a bad thing.

Of course I'm not suggesting that is all it takes but taking away a good chunk of the pressure and stress was definitely a good thing. We would have felt so much better going forward as it really did feel like a weight had been lifted even if we weren't expecting it to influence the outcome.

Thanks moomin. We have both been so bogged down with work this month DTD has been so far from our minds. On a positive note the one day that was potentially in line we had sex a couple of times and it was for fun really as we had been so knackered it had been a good couple of weeks.

It's hard not to get stuck in a rut....you DTD during fertile week then are so knackered end up having a week to recover then next thing you now it's AF so that writes off nearly another week and before you know it you are back in the fertile period and that was probably the last time we DTD.

TTC is exhausting for sure. Not matter how hard you try to switch off from it and relax and go with the flow....maybe when we hit the 2 year mark I will finally relax about it all. I am getting better mainly cos it hasn't worked this far so I don't see the point anymore of stressing so much about how often we have sex. There see your positivity rubbed off on me! Xx

I'm at the 2 year mark in Dec and I feel worse amd worse. My anxiety is through the roof and I'm not coping in work. I'd like to say its easier but we tried relax approach past few months. We have skipped 2 cycles..Been a holiday and tried 2 or 3 times max and still trying...I feel like I am not me anymore. I doubt I ever will get 'me back.
I hate to be negative as its not me...but currently it is.

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

@Alexis sending hugs your way....you have been so strong throughout this process it's no wonder you feel negative now.

I hit that wall about 3 months ago so we had a month off trying which helped but I think I'm coming round again to that need to not try and stop thinking about it all.

I'm sorry to here you feel so anxious...anxiety is a horrible thing and can be so consuming and hard to recover from. I guess with being on the ivf list you can't now really take your foot off the gas.

I said to my hubby the other day that us with a family feels like a fading picture that started in clear colour and is now some grayscale blurry image....that's the best way i can describe it. I really struggle now to SEE us with a baby....I have more images of how we might go about living our lives without one. He says he is trying to be positive for the both of us but I totally get where you are coming from with negativity creeping in. It's impossible not to let it in....I guess all we can do is try not to let it consume us?

 

[MoominGirl]

@moomin how are you getting on with your bump? Must be getting exciting now? What is your due date?

The pregnancy has gone so well so far. I've been really lucky with symptoms in that I've barely had any. I like to think I deserve some good luck after all we went through to get to this point.

Even though it's getting so much closer (due November), I still can't believe it has actually happened for us. I still remember just how miserable LTTTC is and I never thought we'd be one of the couples you read about who comes out the other end.

Thinking back, I'm sure I recall the 18 months - 2 years mark being the toughest emotionally. I think it was because that's the point where you are forced to accept that this might not be as easy as they made out in school. Also the investigation process is so long winded and often they don't find anything wrong. That's not particularly reassuring when you're told everything is ok but you're still not pregnant.

Also just reading one of your other posts about not doing it enough in the fertile period to be in with a chance. The month we caught was the month we tried the least hard out of the whole 3 years we were trying. We dtd twice. Once on the day of positive OPK and once 2 days later. We were the least stressed we had been as well.

We basically had a long chat about the pressures and the routine. As my cycles were so regular, we agreed that we would have 2 attempts each cycle over the fertile window with OPKs to guide and that would be it. That way we would know we had tried but weren't putting pressure on ourselves any more as dtd had become solely about conception by this point which was quite sad. The rest of the month would then be ours to do as we wished. We had been forcing ourselves to dtd as much as possible over the fertile period that neither of us enjoyed it anymore. I think there's something to be said for quality over quantity. As there had been some questions over OH's sperm analysis, we were both happy with the theory that giving him time to recover might not be a bad thing.

Of course I'm not suggesting that is all it takes but taking away a good chunk of the pressure and stress was definitely a good thing. We would have felt so much better going forward as it really did feel like a weight had been lifted even if we weren't expecting it to influence the outcome.

Thanks moomin. We have both been so bogged down with work this month DTD has been so far from our minds. On a positive note the one day that was potentially in line we had sex a couple of times and it was for fun really as we had been so knackered it had been a good couple of weeks.

It's hard not to get stuck in a rut....you DTD during fertile week then are so knackered end up having a week to recover then next thing you now it's AF so that writes off nearly another week and before you know it you are back in the fertile period and that was probably the last time we DTD.

TTC is exhausting for sure. Not matter how hard you try to switch off from it and relax and go with the flow....maybe when we hit the 2 year mark I will finally relax about it all. I am getting better mainly cos it hasn't worked this far so I don't see the point anymore of stressing so much about how often we have sex. There see your positivity rubbed off on me! Xx

You made me laugh when you described me as positive!! I think I was the most negative person on the planet when it wasn't happening!!

I think the reality is that no matter how good your sex life was, LTTTC is a killer. Don't get me wrong, if you genuinely feel like dtd for days in a row and it happens to be over your fertile window then great. Sadly the reality is that you'll force yourself to do it far more than either of you feel like then need a break to recover like you say and before you know it, AF is here again. Once we realised that was what had happened to us - let's face it, it sort of creeps up on you, we decided that stepping back a bit was absolutely the right thing to do as forcing it all these times clearly hadn't worked and we were just more miserable for it. It's always more disappointing when AF comes after you really feel like you've given all you could. For us, just knowing we'd ticked the box was enough to know we were still in the game but meant we didn't feel like we'd poured blood, sweat and tears into it if you know what I mean.

I wouldn't say I ever really 'relaxed'. I would say I changed my perception which meant I had different priorities and in particular we both agreed that focusing on ourselves as a couple was the most important thing above everything else. Sounds obvious but we got swept in like everyone else and sometimes it's hard to see that.

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

Well 7dpo today. Nipples a little tender and having few dots of white secretion(like pin head size) always seem to get these on my nipples around this point in my cycle so think it's just normal for me.

AF due in another 7 days. Due back at hospital another 5 days after that so guessing she will arrive in time for that so I suppose on a positive note at least I'll be able to talk to the docs certain that I'm not pg.

How's everyone else doing? We lost a few roof tiles in the wind and have a small leak in the rain...it's been wild here x

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

This morning got me thinking of you all.....how many of these soul destroying 1 liners have we seen between us? And how many of us still poas just in case this month some magic might have happened.

I have been doing it less these last few months and I think I am more in tune than ever with my body and it's symptoms that I used to think we're pg symptoms but I now know occur a few days before AF fairly consistently. So maybe that's a positive and means my cycle has settled down properly.

I just wanted to say thinking of you on this Monday morning and sending hope that one day soon one of us on this thread will be sharing a very different picture to the one below xc

 

[MoominGirl]

This morning got me thinking of you all.....how many of these soul destroying 1 liners have we seen between us? And how many of us still poas just in case this month some magic might have happened.

I have been doing it less these last few months and I think I am more in tune than ever with my body and it's symptoms that I used to think we're pg symptoms but I now know occur a few days before AF fairly consistently. So maybe that's a positive and means my cycle has settled down properly.

I just wanted to say thinking of you on this Monday morning and sending hope that one day soon one of us on this thread will be sharing a very different picture to the one below xc

My heart goes out to you Nikki and all the other ladies on this thread. I pop into this thread regularly as I would love to see some good news.

Personally, I never did early testing. My theory was basically if it ever happened then knowing a few days sooner wouldn't change a thing. I'd always rather have had a good strong BFP than end up obsessing over faint lines. Also, it just seemed like such a waste of money as like you say I knew my cycles so well by this point.

I never got many symptoms on the run up to AF but being completely honest the cycle we caught felt absolutely no different. I felt completely normal and fully expected AF to arrive. So symptom spotting was actually a waste of time for me as well.

As you can see, I'm all for not torturing yourself with negative tests as I think it just makes an already difficult journey even worse. Thinking of you.

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

This morning got me thinking of you all.....how many of these soul destroying 1 liners have we seen between us? And how many of us still poas just in case this month some magic might have happened.

I have been doing it less these last few months and I think I am more in tune than ever with my body and it's symptoms that I used to think we're pg symptoms but I now know occur a few days before AF fairly consistently. So maybe that's a positive and means my cycle has settled down properly.

I just wanted to say thinking of you on this Monday morning and sending hope that one day soon one of us on this thread will be sharing a very different picture to the one below xc

My heart goes out to you Nikki and all the other ladies on this thread. I pop into this thread regularly as I would love to see some good news.

Personally, I never did early testing. My theory was basically if it ever happened then knowing a few days sooner wouldn't change a thing. I'd always rather have had a good strong BFP than end up obsessing over faint lines. Also, it just seemed like such a waste of money as like you say I knew my cycles so well by this point.

I never got many symptoms on the run up to AF but being completely honest the cycle we caught felt absolutely no different. I felt completely normal and fully expected AF to arrive. So symptom spotting was actually a waste of time for me as well.

As you can see, I'm all for not torturing yourself with negative tests as I think it just makes an already difficult journey even worse. Thinking of you.

Thanks moomin. I have only ever really tested when I felt different or was late....but looking back most of these symptoms or feelings were AF symptoms. I think now my cycle has settled down enough for me to see that.

Our relationship has felt tough this last week...hubby has sunk back into depression after I thought he has finally got a handle on it. So I'm gutted but trying to be as supportive as I can. But it us one of those things that the person has to decide for themselves how best to move forward.

Will see what docs next week brings. I guess even if just another rung on the ladder or step forwards it will help x

 

[Alexis2017]

Sorry Nikki. It never gets easier to accept.
We didn't even try last cycle , I didn't want too , the disappointment hurts too much. At spotting started today. I am really struggling now. I've had a few mini emotional breakdowns in work and I feel like I am on the edge of just falling to pieces at any moment. How the heck did I get here ? How will I start mending the pieces back together and prepare for IVF. I keep trying to start but I can't find the start line...I can't seem to build myself stronger instead I am getting worse. I have my smear test in 2 weeks and I m now not sleeping at night for worrying about the results. I just feel like I am on a spiral downwards to nothing but pure hell on top of hell.

I just wanted to have a baby. I just wanted to be a family. I just wanted to paint a nursery and pick out names. I really don't know how I went from fluffy clouds and nursery rhymes to this nightmare.

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

Sorry Nikki. It never gets easier to accept.
We didn't even try last cycle , I didn't want too , the disappointment hurts too much. At spotting started today. I am really struggling now. I've had a few mini emotional breakdowns in work and I feel like I am on the edge of just falling to pieces at any moment. How the heck did I get here ? How will I start mending the pieces back together and prepare for IVF. I keep trying to start but I can't find the start line...I can't seem to build myself stronger instead I am getting worse. I have my smear test in 2 weeks and I m now not sleeping at night for worrying about the results. I just feel like I am on a spiral downwards to nothing but pure hell on top of hell.

I just wanted to have a baby. I just wanted to be a family. I just wanted to paint a nursery and pick out names. I really don't know how I went from fluffy clouds and nursery rhymes to this nightmare.

Aw Alexis I really don't know how we got here either. I think back to hope much we discussed and planned when we wanted to try....I should have just had my coil out when we got married as would have mostly likely still not fallen pregnant anyway.

I wonder if anyone specialises in fertility councilling.....how can you though if you haven't been through it I really don't think anyone can understand the pain.

AF arrived for me today 3 days early. Only.saving grace is I cam say with certainty to docs next week I'm not pg. Where do we go from here? Xx

 

[Peony1]

So sorry to not read any good news on this thread yet! I had my first ever dream the other night that I had a positive pregnancy test and it was a really strong line. It was such a vivid dream too. It’s sad, but it put me in a good mood all day I always, always have dreams that af has arrived so it made a nice change! It couldn’t have even been one of those dreams people say they have and then find out they’re pregnant cos it was before I’d ovulated, but still, it was a nice dream to have! Praying that it comes true one day very soon! Hope everyone starts to feel better soon, just remember as much as you feel alone, you’re really not xx