Long termers 6 months or more

[miamia]

@Alexis I don't get why in our society it is ok to ask these questions ?!?!

couldn't agree with you more

 

[xMillie]

My patient asked me today of I have any kids...I said No, then she said what age are you? I said 34...then she said well some ppl just have animals? I saod yeah true Id like kids then she said your running out of time. Thanks!

I’m so sorry that someone thought it was ok to pry and ask questions like that.
They should have stopped at ‘do you have any kids?’ if she really had to ask..

 

[Sunflower1]

My patient asked me today of I have any kids...I said No, then she said what age are you? I said 34...then she said well some ppl just have animals? I saod yeah true Id like kids then she said your running out of time. Thanks!

How rude! You are not running out of time at 34! Some people just have animals? How presumptious. She doesn't know anything about you. If it happens with someone else I'd just change the subject.

 

[_GG_]

Alexis, my cousin is a ward sister on a premie baby intensive care unit. She is now in her 40's and has had years of new mums asking her about it. She made a decision one day to respond to all questions with, "the best way for me to look after your baby is to be 100% focused, so with respect, I never discuss my life at work". It worked so well for her that I have used a version of it myself a few times.

I was very open about my losses last year when we announced this pregnancy...because I used it as a way to remind people that you never know what another person is going through and your desire to know about their life is not more important than that persons mental health or right to be private.

People just piss me off sometimes.

 

[Alexis2017]

I swear I get asked every day. I got it again today but it was fine. The man said to me 'me and my wife thought we would never have kids. We had been trying for years then kinda gave up. He said she was nearly 40 and I was 45 when it just happened and we have a 13 year old daughter now in ours 50s/60s. He said I was asked all the time ' why don't you have any kids ' he said what a stupid question to ask he said dont worry it will happen. ...all I said was no I don't have any kids. .. It's every day now I am being asked by my patients ..maybe its just a way to have a conversation. Today was okay I guess

 

[_GG_]

I swear I get asked every day. I got it again today but it was fine. The man said to me 'me and my wife thought we would never have kids. We had been trying for years then kinda gave up. He said she was nearly 40 and I was 45 when it just happened and we have a 13 year old daughter now in ours 50s/60s. He said I was asked all the time ' why don't you have any kids ' he said what a stupid question to ask he said dont worry it will happen. ...all I said was no I don't have any kids. .. It's every day now I am being asked by my patients ..maybe its just a way to have a conversation. Today was okay I guess

I wonder if he shared his story first as a way to give you some hope. I do live when people are willing to share their struggles and eventual successes as it can give hope but it's still a way of asking, lol.

Glad it didn't affect you too much today. X

 

[Alexis2017]

Meh, another pregnancy announcement I automatically hit the lowest level of sad and also makes me feel like even more of a failure. Hate today already!

 

[MariaIsabella]

My patient asked me today of I have any kids...I said No, then she said what age are you? I said 34...then she said well some ppl just have animals? I saod yeah true Id like kids then she said your running out of time. Thanks!

You are definitely NOT running out of time. I was 38 when I got pregnant with my DD after trying for almost 3 years and IVF, hysteroscopies etc. My doc even told me its not that big of a difference in chance if you have IVF at 30 compared to 38 ( of course depending on the reasons for the struggles ).

Many people wait having kids until later in life and most people are successful so that comment would really make me angry.

Had similar experience many times before we finally got pregnant. Remember a guy at work asking when the babies are coming since my biological clock is ticking! Thanks! That's what you need to hear when you are already stressed out with all the worries, doc appointments and treatments xx

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

It's so hard. I have to admit I was less sensitive before I was in this position myself but I never used to make comments like that.

Sadly as woman in the workplace we feel we can't talk about our family planning intentions for fear of being treated differently and I think that then makes it even harder to say that you do want kids but are having problems.

I think it's no different with friends....certainly the bigger friendships groups anyway. I have confided only in my closest friends and a couple of others that know for horse related reasons have never asked how I'm getting on with trying.

Some people are so insensitive.

I feel your pain with the pregnancy announcement Alexis. I've got 2 pregnant ladies at work and it's just a daily reminder x

 

[Alexis2017]

It's so hard. I have to admit I was less sensitive before I was in this position myself but I never used to make comments like that.

Sadly as woman in the workplace we feel we can't talk about our family planning intentions for fear of being treated differently and I think that then makes it even harder to say that you do want kids but are having problems.

I think it's no different with friends....certainly the bigger friendships groups anyway. I have confided only in my closest friends and a couple of others that know for horse related reasons have never asked how I'm getting on with trying.

Some people are so insensitive.

I feel your pain with the pregnancy announcement Alexis. I've got 2 pregnant ladies at work and it's just a daily reminder x

I had two pregnant ladies at work too. Both on mat leave but its still hard as they all talk about it and then one baby is always being brought in to our unit ...the other is due day I go away to thailand so will be more and more baby chat to face. I really want to talk to my boss about my ivf but the unit is so short staffed and the time I go for ivf it will be better as 1 back from mat leave and 1 long term sick leave r will be back too so I think its best to wait but on other hand this stress and workload is unhealthy but especially when your already stressed out due to a situarion. I just dont think anyone would undertand what this feels like unless you had been through it. Even when ppl told me there were having ivf I never once had a tiny insight into what this hell is like !!

 

[Alexis2017]

Has anyone else ever got to the point when its fertile period you just feel so low and fed up trying that you don't want to try for 2 reasons

1 being if I don't try then I won't be disappointed

2 I just feel so low and fed up I can't face dtd. I already feel like this and need to start dtd soon as af practically away by tmrw and I want to start earlier than I ever have for one last cycle where we chart...then calling it a day with the charting once and for all.

 

[Peony1]

I felt that way alexis at that exact point in my cycle this month. Had a really bad day last week just after my af finished where it was like I had a mini-meltdown at home!! I spent all day feeling peed off and fed up and then went mad at my husband for no reason and I just couldn’t seem to calm myself down. I think once in a while it just all builds up and then comes out in a major tantrum. However, a week on and now I’m at my most fertile, I feel calm again and am fine about dtd so hopefully you’ll get there too. We usually just dtd every other day, but we actually did it 3 days in a row this month which hasn't happened in months. So maybe my mini-meltdown was what I needed!

 

[MoominGirl]

Has anyone else ever got to the point when its fertile period you just feel so low and fed up trying that you don't want to try for 2 reasons

1 being if I don't try then I won't be disappointed

2 I just feel so low and fed up I can't face dtd. I already feel like this and need to start dtd soon as af practically away by tmrw and I want to start earlier than I ever have for one last cycle where we chart...then calling it a day with the charting once and for all.

Hope you don't mind me dropping by but I felt I needed to share.

Yes, I felt exactly like that. As me and OH had got to a point where he knew where I was in my cycle etc, I said to him 'this is the time we should be doing it but if you can't be bothered that's fine with me cos I really am drained with this now'. He said 'I think we should at least try even if it's only a couple of times as I'll never hear the end of it in a couple of weeks'. So I agreed. That was the month we caught. It was the least hard we tried but we were also the least stressed and weren't completely drained by the end of the week. As my cycles were so predictable, less really was more as it wasn't difficult to predict the best days and just go all in.

Thinking of you.

 

[Alexis2017]

Thanks Moomin. I have tried less and more and somehwere in the middle. It's just always the same outcome. If its down to luck then it makes semce as we are both so unlucky...I just wish our luck would change!

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

I know the feeling Alexis the month we really gunned it the disappointment was huge compared to the other months. We have been somewhere in the middle this month. Covered some good days but then tried and failed 2 days ago I think was a combination of too much beer for him and a little touch of pressure of the time of the cycle. Missed yesterday and will likely miss today. Judging by temp I am ovulating today so if we do catch it will be cos there was some there waiting.

I think sometimes we all just need to get off the rollercoaster for a whole and have a rest x

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

How is everyone?

I've got 2 1/2 weeks of work until week off. Counting down the days. Need a break from just grating bullshit and baby talk with people due soon.

Lots of horsey things and hubby time plus a wedding all planned for week off so should be a good one.

Entered 2ww now. Hubby but down last couple days I'm letting him get on with it at the moment. Starting to think he is more hormonal then me. Not hopeful for a Bfp don't think we covered enough days.

Bloods on Monday then go back on Thurs for results so will see what doc 'recommends from there x

 

[xMillie]

I feel the same Alexis. Every damn month.
The only time I could be bothered again was after the MC as you can be more fertile after.. clearly not the case for me as nearly 9months down the line afterwards I'm still not pregnant. Due dates been and gone now. We should have a baby in our arms but we have nothing xx


Good luck Nikki xx


I'm 14dpo today and zero hope.

 

[Alexis2017]

I feel the same Alexis. Every damn month.
The only time I could be bothered again was after the MC as you can be more fertile after.. clearly not the case for me as nearly 9months down the line afterwards I'm still not pregnant. Due dates been and gone now. We should have a baby in our arms but we have nothing xx


Good luck Nikki xx


I'm 14dpo today and zero hope.

It is so unfair, why can some women pop out as many as they want or dont even want and then others can't even have 1. My mind is boggled by the fact they cant find a reason for it happening and regular cycles means ovulation is happening and I have positive opk every month and ewcm and I have ovulation 8oain and temp spike. It's all textbook ... why the heck isn't it happening when DH has excellent sperm...everyrhing is in our favour on paper yet it hasn't happened on 17 months. I have watched really obese unhealthy women pop them out.... if its about having a healthy body etc these ppl would not get pregnant. It's a mind field for some women and others a walk in the park.

I wish there was something I could say Millie. All we can do is not give up but then to make some of this pain go away acceptance and moving on would be the only way. It would always be there just not so much at the front ? I am not giving up till I have tried my 3 rounds of IVF then I will be almost 40 so will prob call it a day then. You are still much younger than me so you still have time on your side. Don't give up just yet. What is your horoscope? I read Moomins in Jan and said she would have a baby this year ! Mine said I would be expecting this year so still having hope but it is fading month by month.

 

[xMillie]

It’s just not fair being unexplained.. a reason could help maybe change or fix something.

2 perfect embryos from ivf and then 1 not so perfect embryo and none wanted to stick.
It always makes me think some months that the egg fertilises but doesn’t stick.

I’m a Virgo, august 25th. xx

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

@Millie @Alexis

I def think after the 15 months I have spent on this forum that the unexplained infertility is by far the most painful. If someone gives you a reason you feel like you can take action. Even if that action is to give up and move on. Being stuck in limbo is the problem.

I am dreading my blood results. I don't think they will tell us much. Only been temping 2 months but they seem to be following the expected pattern although does look like a have a long luteal phase and ov around day 17.

Will see what Thurs brings. I have zero optimism for testing. No doubt will test as I can't help myself but certainly don't feel like I'm edge of my seat in a 2ww x