Long termers 6 months or more

[Alexis2017]

@Alexis don't give up hope yet. Fur babies are amazing at helping heal the heart but you still have plenty of chances yet.

Do you know how many rounds of IVF you will get on NHS? Rules seem to be so different everywhere.

Try to look forward to your hols and enjoy them for some one on one time with your other half. Remember y9u always have each other.

I am so glad I managed to hang onto my horse thanks to my friend now sharing him. They are such a commitment....i adore my boy but unkess you have land at home be fully prepared to part with £300-£400 a month to keep one. Mine is top end of that cos he's a big lad...a trusty coblet would probably be less x

We get 3 rounds in Scotland now (used to be 2) I know but If I didn't have a child to spend money on I could afford a horse so it's only a plan B. Livery here is about £185 a week incl hay not bedding then farrier around £65 every 10 weeks or whatever. Then insurance plan so I know its expensive ! Girl on mat leave brought her baby in today again...its so hard I felt my ovaries pop! Haha I am annoyed Its not fertile time when we are away such bad timing. It's the week before we go it all kicks off. Typical!

 

[_GG_]

Ladies, I really hope those are full or part livery prices!!! Normal DIY down by me is £120 per month stable, field and facilities.

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

Nope sorry GG

Our livery is £35 per week for stable field and use of 2 all weather arenas

Straw haylage and feed all extra on top. I pay £60 per month insurance as has loss of use and full whack. Then £70 per set for shoes every 6 weeks cos mine is a bugger for pulling them off so all comes to about £300 in summer per month more like £400 in winter by the time literally everything factored in.

So now I'm going halvers with my friends mine is a lot more affordable. Baby would be cheaper lol x

 

[Alexis2017]

Ladies, I really hope those are full or part livery prices!!! Normal DIY down by me is £120 per month stable, field and facilities.

Yeah thats full livery mon-fri diy at wknds.

I wish I had land !

 

[_GG_]

I feel so bloody lucky right now. I was paying £200 a month for 4 horses and 2 ponies. I'm not paying anything now as it's my version of a pay rise as the farm manager. We have 99 acres on a hill that I get to through my back garden and it is utter bliss. They live out 24/7 as a herd and we grow our own hay on the meadow fields so no hay cost. We don't have an arena yet but planning is in for a 54mx30m indoor. We have lovely stables though, hot horse shower and solarium.

This videos at the top of the hill and despite the waterlogged lower fields, it's still dry up here. The two loonies had just joined the big herd after they'd been keeping an old livery company. I pinch myself every day that we get to keep them like this. Anyone is welcome to come and meet the herd. It's fascinating watching them and their proper horsey behaviours.

https://youtu.be/OqmIcq0XzY8

 

[Alexis2017]

I feel so bloody lucky right now. I was paying £200 a month for 4 horses and 2 ponies. I'm not paying anything now as it's my version of a pay rise as the farm manager. We have 99 acres on a hill that I get to through my back garden and it is utter bliss. They live out 24/7 as a herd and we grow our own hay on the meadow fields so no hay cost. We don't have an arena yet but planning is in for a 54mx30m indoor. We have lovely stables though, hot horse shower and solarium.

This videos at the top of the hill and despite the waterlogged lower fields, it's still dry up here. The two loonies had just joined the big herd after they'd been keeping an old livery company. I pinch myself every day that we get to keep them like this. Anyone is welcome to come and meet the herd. It's fascinating watching them and their proper horsey behaviours.

https://youtu.be/OqmIcq0XzY8

Amazing ! Beautiful horses. Yeah you are mega lucky GG!

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

@GG not jealous at all! Looks beautiful!

Ours have been on restricted turnout all winter. 4 hours a day and some days not even that. Praying for a week of dry weather and hopefully they can get out on the next month. They usually live out April to Oct 24/7 but at this rate they will be lucky to go out in May.

Have to say when I joined this forum didn't realise I would find kindred horsey spirits lol.

How's bump GG?

Alexis I hope u are packing that suitcase.

I'm just trying to get back on with DTD. New game....beat the doctor is what I've told hubby x

 

[_GG_]

@GG not jealous at all! Looks beautiful!

Ours have been on restricted turnout all winter. 4 hours a day and some days not even that. Praying for a week of dry weather and hopefully they can get out on the next month. They usually live out April to Oct 24/7 but at this rate they will be lucky to go out in May.

Have to say when I joined this forum didn't realise I would find kindred horsey spirits lol.

How's bump GG?

Alexis I hope u are packing that suitcase.

I'm just trying to get back on with DTD. New game....beat the doctor is what I've told hubby x

Wait til you're pregnant and people keep telling you to take it easy and you're over here like, " Yeah, for 20 horses to look after? I can rest when I'm dead" lol.

Honestly, it's really good to keep active, not overdoing it but keeping fit and active.

Bump is fine. Had a kick/flip so powerful earlier, it knocked my phone off my belly! First I've had that strong. It's an extremely weird feeling that I can't wait for you ladies to experience. Xxx

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

Oh my god how fab GG I just teary eyed a bit for you. You must be the only pregnant person I know I'm not jealous of lol

I'll be that idiot still riding as long as possible on the down low so hubby doesn't kill me lol x

 

[_GG_]

Oh my god how fab GG I just teary eyed a bit for you. You must be the only pregnant person I know I'm not jealous of lol

I'll be that idiot still riding as long as possible on the down low so hubby doesn't kill me lol x

Haha, bless you. I know...I never hot jealous of any woman who was part of this forum getting a bfp despite my own heartache. Just sucks in real life.

Good to keep fit. That said....for you and Alexis, go for a C section when the time comes. My midwife said horse riders are the worst for tearing and pain as we are so extremely well toned "down there", lol

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

Christ GG! I thought we would be better cos we are toned and got some good pelvic floor muscles lol

 

[_GG_]

Christ GG! I thought we would be better cos we are toned and got some good pelvic floor muscles lol

Tones muscles are the reason it's so hard. They don't like to relax as much, lol.

 

[Alexis2017]

Jeez Louise I am scared of the C section scenario Id rather push and rip I think lol Not that I will ever have this to worry about!

Wow that sounds incredible -feeling your baby like that. Boy I really wish every day it will happen for me but it just seems so unreachable at present time. I can't even think of my holiday as I am on day 11 in a row tmrw and will hit over 100 hours tmrw. I am off Friday for vaccinations for holiday - do you think any worry incase I am preggers ? (Fat chance)

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

I'm sure all will be fine Alexis even if you do have a little miracle seed inside I wouldn't worry. Human body is a wonderful if frustrating thing!

Really hope u get some rest soon.

I realised yesterday that if I fall pregnant soon I won't get my sought after Xmas off work on maternity. When you work in retail a Xmas holidays is like a magical wish list never to be spoken of. But i had let myself think ooo wouldn't that be perfect if I was on maternity leave. Haha fat chance.

Ah well a girl can dream. And let's face it I would rather have a baby fullstop that get my Xmas hols. But does make u think about how we plan and plan and plan and it never works out that way x

 

[Alexis2017]

I'm sure all will be fine Alexis even if you do have a little miracle seed inside I wouldn't worry. Human body is a wonderful if frustrating thing!

Really hope u get some rest soon.

I realised yesterday that if I fall pregnant soon I won't get my sought after Xmas off work on maternity. When you work in retail a Xmas holidays is like a magical wish list never to be spoken of. But i had let myself think ooo wouldn't that be perfect if I was on maternity leave. Haha fat chance.

Ah well a girl can dream. And let's face it I would rather have a baby fullstop that get my Xmas hols. But does make u think about how we plan and plan and plan and it never works out that way x

My work is closed on xmas day boxing day 1st and 2nd but someone is oncall I was oncall last xmas so I know I have the next 5 off as long as now one leaves/has a baby/goes off sick haha

I worked last 5 Christmases before than on my old work. I am sad that this is the last cycle for a 2018 baby. I was so sure I would have a a baby this year it just felt like it was our year!

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

Awww alexis you have welled me up now. I hadn't thought of that. I've been feeling more positive since taking steps with docs but reslly feel today like time has ground to a halt.

DTD Mon and Wed trying for every other day but hubby has gone to bed early tonight with a headache and I can't help but feel really annoyed that we will miss out on tonight. I'm on lates tomorrow so Sun will be our next chance to DTD and that's the start of fertile window according to glow..

I think I've just upset myself watching one born. There was a couple who had been trying for 7 years she had endo and they finally got pregnant although they weren't clear whether it was IVF or natural conception. I just can't help but think i can't go through this for that long. But then I suppose we all feel like that and yet somehow each month pick ourselves up and try again.

Really feel like a good sob tonight but know it won't come out. It always upsets me when hubby isn't in the mood and I know I'm being unfair cos he can't help feeling unwell x

 

[Alexis2017]

Awww alexis you have welled me up now. I hadn't thought of that. I've been feeling more positive since taking steps with docs but reslly feel today like time has ground to a halt.

DTD Mon and Wed trying for every other day but hubby has gone to bed early tonight with a headache and I can't help but feel really annoyed that we will miss out on tonight. I'm on lates tomorrow so Sun will be our next chance to DTD and that's the start of fertile window according to glow..

I think I've just upset myself watching one born. There was a couple who had been trying for 7 years she had endo and they finally got pregnant although they weren't clear whether it was IVF or natural conception. I just can't help but think i can't go through this for that long. But then I suppose we all feel like that and yet somehow each month pick ourselves up and try again.

Really feel like a good sob tonight but know it won't come out. It always upsets me when hubby isn't in the mood and I know I'm being unfair cos he can't help feeling unwell x

I get so mad when DH stays up mega late or goes out when its fertile week cos It's lessening the possibility and we already are up against it trying for so long so I know that feeling well. I get angry then have a go saying I do everything...I eat certain thibgs I take supplements daily, I pee on opks and chexk my temp... and all you have to do is be here and dtd. He agrees bit then still seems to put things higher priority. I am so not doing this for 7 years . We both agreed to call it a day 5 years trying. I turn 35 in August so 1.5 years down and I will try till I hit 39 so will try another 4 years or so then games a boghie

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

I think that's super brave Alexis. I don't know if I'm strong enough to try for that long but I suppose it depends on what happens with docs and if the long term plan ends up being IVF. I know we a way off that yet but I guess that would extend things a little x

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

Ugh horrible domestic this morning (well without shouting) hubby still suffering from anxiety and depression relating to our debts and feeling last on the priority list because of my horse.

I just don't know what to do for the best. We should be more or less debt free by July. We are doing everything in our power to clear it.

Me working shifts makes everything hard work because our time together is limited and he basically always feels like he comes last. It's so upsetting cos I smash my neck to run around and do the horses early to clear a day for us to spend together and he still isn't happy.

Really don't know what to do. This row keeps reappearing once a month when his libido is low cos of how he is feeling so I put pressure on asking what's wrong. And then we just go round and round in circles.

Breaks my heart to see him unhappy but I can't fix it without cutting myself into a million pieces x

 

[_GG_]

Ugh horrible domestic this morning (well without shouting) hubby still suffering from anxiety and depression relating to our debts and feeling last on the priority list because of my horse.

I just don't know what to do for the best. We should be more or less debt free by July. We are doing everything in our power to clear it.

Me working shifts makes everything hard work because our time together is limited and he basically always feels like he comes last. It's so upsetting cos I smash my neck to run around and do the horses early to clear a day for us to spend together and he still isn't happy.

Really don't know what to do. This row keeps reappearing once a month when his libido is low cos of how he is feeling so I put pressure on asking what's wrong. And then we just go round and round in circles.

Breaks my heart to see him unhappy but I can't fix it without cutting myself into a million pieces x

Last sentence says it all. You can't fix it for him Nikki. No matter what you do or how much you try, only he can alter his mindset. Sit him down and ask him what he wants. Ask him and whatever answer he gives, explain bit my bit all of the sacrifices you are already making. Explain hoe you juggle and do things certain ways to make sure you ARE prioritising him and that he needs to understand that and not keep making himself feel worse by imagining the opposite. Asking what's wrong to a man can be a genuinely useless thing as often, they don't even really know. Asking what we can do to help sometimes gives us a bit more insight.

Either way, remember that it's a partnership. It's wonderful that you are making sacrifices now to keep the status quo, but it can't be like that all the time and if he keeps believing something that isn't true and keeps letting you do all the work to support the marriage, he may well end up in a self fulfilling prophecy where hou do have enough after time and do stop prioritising him or trying so hard to.

Ebbs and flows. You have the reins now, but you can't hold them forever. At some point he needs to work on his own happiness and take the reins from you for a while. Christ...when you get pregnant, he will really need to step up so just try asking him what he wants/needs and taking it from there.

I've been here with a few times over the years. Sometimes I haven't notices things and have needed to make some changes for us. Sometimes he's said things and I've pointes out the things he hasn't noticed and he's made changes or just realised he's been unreasonable.

Communicate. Xxx