Long termers 6 months or more

[Nikkibiscuit]

@GG we tried DTD every 2/3 days but in all honesty after a week or 10 days we run out of steam. We have always been a once or twice a week couple as I work shifts and hubby is one that needs time together to feel in the mood so sometimes 4 or 5 days can run by where we are both knackered or passing like ships in the night.

Tbh I just want to get back to sex being fun. Don't get me wrong it's still good but for me it's still in the back of my mind. Probably cos I feel like it's just about getting him there and less worry about me. Sounds selfish I know but I need physical relationship to feel close I always have.

Hopefully once this AF passes we can relax a bit now the ball is rolling with the docs and we know it will be a bit of a waiting game x

 

[_GG_]

@GG we tried DTD every 2/3 days but in all honesty after a week or 10 days we run out of steam. We have always been a once or twice a week couple as I work shifts and hubby is one that needs time together to feel in the mood so sometimes 4 or 5 days can run by where we are both knackered or passing like ships in the night.

Tbh I just want to get back to sex being fun. Don't get me wrong it's still good but for me it's still in the back of my mind. Probably cos I feel like it's just about getting him there and less worry about me. Sounds selfish I know but I need physical relationship to feel close I always have.

Hopefully once this AF passes we can relax a bit now the ball is rolling with the docs and we know it will be a bit of a waiting game x

Ha, me and Dan can go 4 or 5 weeks or more and don't even notice, lol.
We can never keep.our hands off each other but sometimes we literally get so busy we just don't even notice it's not happened for ages.

I do hope the new ball rolling will help give things an easier dimension for you xx

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

Thanks GG me too. Got a bit of free time with hubby over Easter. Squeezed in around horses lol. But will be good to get some chill time. We are closing in on debt being cleared. Should be in the next 3 months so that's a really positive step too and will lift a lot of stress for him he thinks. So softly softly catchy monkey x

 

[Peony1]

Hi everyone,

Af has arrived today for the 20th time since ttc. We’ve always just done the ‘every other day’ method - although the week before af is due we tend to slow down as we’re usually fed up of it by then however, we always make sure we cover the fertile week - our fertility doc said to dtd on cycle day 9, 11, 13 and 15 most importantly so we’ve been making sure we’ve covered those days. However, I’m considering whether or not I should be using ovulation tests? Do you think it’s worth it if we dtd every other day anyway? My cycles range from 26-29 days generally. (Apart from a couple of ‘odd’ cycles). If so, which ones would you recommend?

I just feel so frustrated that we’re both healthy, active, don’t smoke, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since ttc and husband rarely drinks - our fertility results came back good - husbands SA was above average apparently and yet we still can’t get pregnant and our overweight, unhealthy, inactive, older friends got pregnant within a couple of months ttc sorry. I just need to rant on first day of af

 

[Alexis2017]

Hi everyone,

Af has arrived today for the 20th time since ttc. We’ve always just done the ‘every other day’ method - although the week before af is due we tend to slow down as we’re usually fed up of it by then however, we always make sure we cover the fertile week - our fertility doc said to dtd on cycle day 9, 11, 13 and 15 most importantly so we’ve been making sure we’ve covered those days. However, I’m considering whether or not I should be using ovulation tests? Do you think it’s worth it if we dtd every other day anyway? My cycles range from 26-29 days generally. (Apart from a couple of ‘odd’ cycles). If so, which ones would you recommend?

I just feel so frustrated that we’re both healthy, active, don’t smoke, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since ttc and husband rarely drinks - our fertility results came back good - husbands SA was above average apparently and yet we still can’t get pregnant and our overweight, unhealthy, inactive, older friends got pregnant within a couple of months ttc sorry. I just need to rant on first day of af

Snap...I am on cycle 16 and all fertility tests are above average ! I don't smoke, barley drink I am not over weight. I have been temping and using opks and still hasn't helped. I've had a positive ovulation test every time and covered the fertile week. I am now going to Accupunture as it helped my friend get pregnant so thought its worth a shot. We are going on IVF waiting list in May. ( We told them its 2 years in April to get seen quicker) Rant away as I know how it feels

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

@Alexis @peony I think a good rant does us good from time to time. I'm a few months behind you ladies moving onto cycle 11 and I think the not knowing is the hardest part in all of this.

I guess in life we expect x and y to always add up to z and when we can't explain why it won't it's even more frustrating as we are used to when something doesn't work learning how to fix it. It's just the culture of modern life I think.

I have had 2 more awkward conversations with people at work. Telling one to politely not ask such a personal question. People just don't get it though....she was like but I only asked if you wanted children. I walked away in the end.

Girl at work is milking pregnancy to ridiculous degree. Got taken to hospital by her partner today for 2nd time in recent weeks plus a paramedics visit to our store plus losing count of the first aid forms we have filled in for her feeling unwell. I told her and her partner lunchtime today sounds like Braxton hicks to me. She is 5 weeks to due date. But off they went to hospital to get checked....to be told 5 hours later....guess what it's Braxton hicks!!

I totally understand the worry cos if we get there I will be worried too but at this rate I will know my body so well by then every twinge won't be a worry lol.

I just hate when some women make pregnancy into an illness....its a blessing!!


My rant over lol x

 

[Peony1]

It’s comforting to know I’m not alone, but at the same time I really hope we all get our bfps soon as I wouldn’t want anyone to have to go through this disappointment every month! I do feel a little better now - I’ve been indulging myself with treats today. A nice bath, a lovely dinner and eating the Easter eggs early!
I think it’s healthy to rant! I’ve learnt to just cry when I wanna cry, get angry when I want to get angry, but then at the same time, I also have days where I put things into perspective and realise that aside from this, I’m a very lucky person with an amazing husband and a great family. One day our time will come when we have children and I’m sure they’ll be worth the wait but right now I’m getting a little impatient some people have career dreams etc, but all my adult life, I’ve wanted nothing more than to have a family of my own. I can’t wait to be a mummy, yet I have to!

Good on you for telling a little fib alexis! I thought about saying it was longer, but 1. I know myself and I’d forget and tell them the truth and 2. They could see when I’d last been prescribed the pill so I was worried they might figure it out! We’ve been told we won’t get ivf until we’ve been trying for 3 years. I’m not sure when they’d put us on waiting list. We have a follow up appointment with the fertility doctor in August. I’m hoping I won’t need to go to that but today, I’m feeling like we will

@nikkibiscuit every month I get af, this is one of tmy first thoughts... ‘oh great another month of being quizzed about when I’m gonna have babies!’ I work mainly with women and there are 3 of them who mention it at some point every week. I honestly don’t know how they don’t get the hint of not mentioning it! It’s so annoying as I have never ever asked anyone personal questions like this just in case they are ttc and having problems. Oh and they love to all mention how they got pregnant immediately or by accident. Grrr!
Also, you are right, the not knowing is the hardest part! I’m actually finding getting af easier now than I did previous to going to the doctors. Plus it seems like such a big step. But in my opinion, it was a positive step, even if it was a little challenging at times! But I honestly do feel better now, than I did before going to the doctors Xx

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

@peony honestly some people just make me wanna laugh and cry all together. Lady I was ranting about her partner works for us too and it was him that told me at the start cos I said crikey you don't mess about....they had only been together less than a year. And he said well we have been trying for 3 months so if it didn't happen this month we were gonna go docs. I pretty much burst out laughing but then stifled it and said erm they wouldn't give you a look in until 12 months mate. Then panicked and changed the subject before he asked how did I know that.

My boss has asked a couple of questions of late probing my hubby gets cross cos he says he shouldn't ask but it's hard cos I'm a deputy manager so me and my boss have a very close working relationship....we have to. So although there is motive behind any questions it's mainly meant with a mangers hat on the floor.

Oh I hope 2018 is our year. On a positive note I'm getting some confidence back @GG with my jumping. So making the most of it while I can! My boy was brill this week felt like my old self for the first time in a long time and a really enjoyed jumping instead of holding back a panic attack. Maybe finding myself again a bit is the key to this try journey x

 

[Peony1]

I just worry that one day they’ll ask me on the ‘wrong’ day and I’ll end up shouting at them and losing my job it is incredible how many people can be so insensitive! I’ve come close to just telling them that I’ve been long term ttc before, just to shut them up but I’m always glad that I haven’t.... I think I’d only get it worse then with ‘advice’ like ‘just relax and it’ll happen’

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

I just worry that one day they’ll ask me on the ‘wrong’ day and I’ll end up shouting at them and losing my job it is incredible how many people can be so insensitive! I’ve come close to just telling them that I’ve been long term ttc before, just to shut them up but I’m always glad that I haven’t.... I think I’d only get it worse then with ‘advice’ like ‘just relax and it’ll happen’

Oh yes the advice. I haven't confided in family for that exact reason. Only a couple of my horsey friends know and that's cos I was going to sell my horse to have a baby so so glad that I managed to hang onto him cos he is my fur baby happiness keeping me going when things are tough. I think you have to turn to each other as a couple in this but you need an escape from time to time too.

My mum is such a worrier so we are holding out as long as possible before discussing with them. I think I've made my mental barrier of 2019 if we get to next year and still no bfp then I will fess up to family. Until then just taking it one step at a time with docs etc x

 

[Rainingflowers]

Hi guys, just reading your posts with regards to telling colleagues/family/friends... Personally, all of ours know everything. It's mainly because we had a MC at 8weeks. We had only been TTC for 3months so when I found out I was pregnant at 5weeks we were so happy and just told everyone!! People say to wait but I'm so glad we didn't. It meant that we had so much support there when I started to MC. Also with regards to work, because they know my situation when others do find out they are pregnant they are very respectful and don't shove it in my face. I also never get asked any awkward questions which is good. Just something for you's to think about I suppose!

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

True raining flowers. I think once we further with the docs I will consider sharing as will stop the awkward questions. I think other half wants to keep private as long as possible I suppose there is a pride element with men and they don't really do sharing anyway.

My couple of friends that do know have been super supportive and don't ask questions unless I offer an update. I couldn't bear work knowing though unless we end up facing IVF or some other type of treatment and even then would keep amongst my immediate management team. Xx

 

[Alexis2017]

Sitting in work waiting to do a procedure for a child in sick kids hosp and in a tea room. A pregnant nurse comes in and is heavily pregnant and moans for 20 mins that she has a sore pelvis...she is tired and went for a scan and everything normal and she's not excited anymore and the conversations went on and on moaning about kids....while an sitting in the corner dying to say I have no kids...I am suffering infertility and I don't want to hear your moans about pregnancy! Ahhjhh I am on call and worked all day good Friday and now working all wknd and Monday so 11 days in a row the time I get a day off

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

Aw Alexis that's a long old stint. Reminds me of my toysrus days when we used to work 6 days a week from Oct to Jan. So often did 10 day plus runs for only 1 day off. It sucks!!

I wonder if any of us will ever cave and scream it at someone lol. Would love to see their face if we did x

 

[Alexis2017]

Aw Alexis that's a long old stint. Reminds me of my toysrus days when we used to work 6 days a week from Oct to Jan. So often did 10 day plus runs for only 1 day off. It sucks!!

I wonder if any of us will ever cave and scream it at someone lol. Would love to see their face if we did x

I honestly was having the worst day so it was so so hard not to say somerging. I got home 9.45pm tonight! I wanted to scream this but said it to myself instead...

..... I'm so sorry for the loss of your excitement on your pregnancy it must be so awful having your 3rd baby. I don't have any babies but if I ever do I'd be excited every day and every ache and pain would only remind me how special and privallaged I was to be able to create a life.

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

Aw Alexis that's a long old stint. Reminds me of my toysrus days when we used to work 6 days a week from Oct to Jan. So often did 10 day plus runs for only 1 day off. It sucks!!

I wonder if any of us will ever cave and scream it at someone lol. Would love to see their face if we did x

I honestly was having the worst day so it was so so hard not to say somerging. I got home 9.45pm tonight! I wanted to scream this but said it to myself instead...

..... I'm so sorry for the loss of your excitement on your pregnancy it must be so awful having your 3rd baby. I don't have any babies but if I ever do I'd be excited every day and every ache and pain would only remind me how special and privallaged I was to be able to create a life.

I do have a running joke at work at the minute when discussing the resident dream queen who thinks she is the only.perspn ever to have a baby.

And it goes like this....if I am ever pregnant and behave like that you have my.full permission to slap me and remind me of this moment.

My management team would take great delight in slapping the boss lol so saythey will never forget those words lol

 

[Alexis2017]

I had an awful day at work and all wknd. Major stress...there's no way I can be pregnant this cycle. I actually feel so sad. 1 more cycle before we go on holiday and 2 before we sign up to IVF. If stress does play a part ive no chance as my work is making me stressed all the time. I wish I was fertile when we were away on holiday such bad timing. I really really thought in the end it would be okay. I have now ordered a chicken coop and getting 3 chickens to distract me now. Anyone here have chickens?

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

I had an awful day at work and all wknd. Major stress...there's no way I can be pregnant this cycle. I actually feel so sad. 1 more cycle before we go on holiday and 2 before we sign up to IVF. If stress does play a part ive no chance as my work is making me stressed all the time. I wish I was fertile when we were away on holiday such bad timing. I really really thought in the end it would be okay. I have now ordered a chicken coop and getting 3 chickens to distract me now. Anyone here have chickens?

Aw Alexis. I hope you are getting a day off soon. Stress might not be what stops us getting pregnant but it sire can't help.

I don't have chickens but used to have them at the stables years ago. Quirkey little things. Funny little personalities so they will be a good distraction.

I would love to get a dog. Hubby actually on board but we both work 40 hours so wouldn't be fair. Just keep thinking if we can start our family and I maybe go part time can def have a doggie. But at this rate 4 legged fur babies might be all the babies we get.

Bloods feel an age away. Just itching to get things going. Trying to get us back on track. Finally DTD today after 2 weeks no sex including AF. Hubby still struggling up and down with anxiety and depression so his libido isn't the highest which isn't helping our situation. Gonna try and get into a rhythm of every 2 or 3 days if we can though x

 

[Alexis2017]

I have a dog who is my world but he's 10 now and no idea how long I have him around for. I have a cat who is 14 so she's getting on a bit too. I am just having such a bad day today. I think being in paediatric icu all day has got to me. I am thinking of buying my own horse if ivf fails, I mean whatbelse am I going to do to fill my life up with otjer than work. I am looking for a sturdy cob I think. I just hate how my plan is messed up. ...save up sell our flat, buy a 3 bed house mobe out the city and in to the countryside and have a family 1 or 2 babies and live the family life witj lots of pets and walks to the park and beach. Been thinking If no babies I'd prob sell up the dream house as the empty bedrooms are so hard to walk past and no point havibg such a big house for just us 2.

 

[Nikkibiscuit]

@Alexis don't give up hope yet. Fur babies are amazing at helping heal the heart but you still have plenty of chances yet.

Do you know how many rounds of IVF you will get on NHS? Rules seem to be so different everywhere.

Try to look forward to your hols and enjoy them for some one on one time with your other half. Remember y9u always have each other.

I am so glad I managed to hang onto my horse thanks to my friend now sharing him. They are such a commitment....i adore my boy but unkess you have land at home be fully prepared to part with £300-£400 a month to keep one. Mine is top end of that cos he's a big lad...a trusty coblet would probably be less x