kids and marriage ....

[cherelle]

What are everyones views on marriage and having kids?

I always wanted to be married or at least engaged before i had children but obvs now im pregnant and my OH hasnt asked me :-s

Im not really a traditionalist but I feel a bit sad that at least for the time being i wont have the same last name as my little one when its born.

Just wondering what everyones views are? x

 

[Archiesmummy]

I was engaged when we had LO and got married in april last year. LO was 7 months so i didn't have to wait long lol.

I suppose its not to bad as you will have the same name soon, if he pulls his finger out LOL.

Hope he does soon hun xx

 

[jodied]

I always wanted to be married before I got pregnant so I guess I'm quite traditional. I do know someone who changed her name by deed poll to her fiances so that she has the same name as the kids before they get married but that seems a bit silly to me - might as well just get married!! x

 

[skimpy]

Im not married, been engaged for 4 years tho. He knows I do not want the children going to school and me having a different name.

Think we will just go away somewhere and do it quietly, no real need for a big occasion when we have been together for 10 years

 

[flexilexi394]

im not traditional at all :s
I am engaged though its not really a big issue to be honest with either of our families or us, i guess the coolest thing is our daughter is going to be a part of our wedding xx

 

[Mummy2Adam]

Im not married, been engaged for 4 years tho. He knows I do not want the children going to school and me having a different name.

Think we will just go away somewhere and do it quietly, no real need for a big occasion when we have been together for 10 years

I am the same as you hun, my OH knows that i want to have the same surname as my children before they go to school.

Whens the next leap year? Think i might have to help him along abit lol x x


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[flexilexi394]

on the surname front, mine is going to have my OH's surname x

 

[mablestarr]

I really wanted to be in a stable relationship before getting pregnant. I think its to do with my own upbringing as my parents divorced shortly after I was born and I have had no contact with my dad ever since. I'm also an only child and so really want more than one child as I think it would be nice to have a brother or a sister.
About 6 years ago in when OH and I had only started seeing one another we had a pregnancy scare, and even though at that stage we would have done everything we could to give the baby a good life we decided to wait until we'd got married, had pretty secure jobs and a home of our own. And so after being married about 5 months I came off the pill, but still didn't start trying 'properly' until Christmas 2009.
The traditional 'family' has changed and I think as long as you're in a loving relationship makes no difference if you're married or not. xxxxxxx

 

[Lacey's Mummy]

I was only with OH for 5months when I fell pregnant with Lacey! We got engaged 2 and a half years ago but not planning on getting married for another few years! My parents are quite strict but even they've said they don't mind if we don't get married cos it costs so much!!

 

[Emmamb]

This is my 4th baby and the only 1 I've had whilst I've been married,my 2 eldest have a different surname to me but tbh it doesn't bother me at all xxx

 

[cherelle]

thanks for all the replies ladies ..... i guess ill just have to wait and see when he decides to do it! He does think same as you flexilexi - that it would be nice to hve LO at the wedding but hes not keen to do it for some time yet! ;-( x

 

[megsmeadow]

We got engaged the month before I got pregnant! My folks always believed in marriage before kids but there are twins in my dads work who were pregnant at the same time, one got married and one said we're happy being together and don't need marriage. So that sort of helped my dad. And my mum said she'd have preferred us to be married but she didn't want to be an 'old granny' either so she couldn't have everything LO has my partners surname.

 

[inky]

OH and I aren't married, and Cahal has taken OH's surname. We've been together 14 years, and don't plan on getting married just because we have a LO. I'm not worried about Cahal having a different surname, if it does become a problem then I will just change my surname by deed poll.

 

[Zazu]

I always wanted to be married before having a baby, we got married last august and started trying for a baby straight away. I don't have any problem with other people having children outside of marriage, I just wanted to personally, don't really know why xxx

 

[Lander]

Was just talking about this in my WTT thread yesterday, was rather surprised my two closest friends were the ones asking 'don't you want to be married first?' when I spoke to them about TTC next year.

Parents on on both sides have no problem, and as I turn 30 next year and have a history of Ovarian Cysts, waiting 2-3 years plus for engagement, wedding and getting pregnant seems too much for me...

Lxx

 

[x_MrsE_x]

My girls have a different surname to me, at the time of them being born i thought i would end up with the same name so didn't bother me, then when i got with OH and got married they wanted the same name as us but not allowed to change it, the only annoying thing is when teachers at the school call you by there surname knowing full well that its something different.

 

[midnight]

My girls have a different surname to me, at the time of them being born i thought i would end up with the same name so didn't bother me, then when i got with OH and got married they wanted the same name as us but not allowed to change it, the only annoying thing is when teachers at the school call you by there surname knowing full well that its something different.

i get this and its sooooooooooooo annoying they know my eldest 2 have different name to me grrr

 

[evie_smith]

Being quite religious I wanted to be married before kids but was trying to get preg before even engaged I guess at a younger age I got caught up with the excitement of having a baby ect... I didn't even think... My now hubby asked me to marry him and I said yes a week later to the day I found out I was pregnant I dint rush a marriage though and married when pregnant with my second as I thought a bump would look lovely in a wedding dress and it did this is my only baby now I have conceived when married although in myself felt better my son (2nd) was coming into a marriage - strange lol I know lol!! I have no quarms about others having kids outside of marriage but I think as a young mum people see my kids and relationship differently when I tell them I'm married - shame how young mums are so easily labeled now days xx


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[Heulyn]

We decided to TTC when we got engaged, thinking we'd have been married by now.

Other things happened though, and we're not yet married, with no plans for a wedding just yet, and with a baby on the way.... and actually, I think it suits me just fine

I would have liked being married first though, I think. x

 

[Sera-tonin]

We got married 2 years ago and waited to have a baby. I did not change my last name to my husband's name - and I am not sure if i plan on it or not. Maybe, but it is quite expensive buy new ID (passport, drivers license, health card etc) maybe I will when i need to renew my ID...
The baby will have his last name though.