**** july mummies 2018 *****

[Shanivy]

Scan in 5 days wooohooo!!!!!!!!!!

Was it honestly painful or just uncomfortable? I can't remember that far back... x

Ooh so close now!!!

Mine was a little painful. She had to push quite hard to get what she needed. Every scan I've ever had has been painful. Not "I need gas and air" painful lol but every so often I'd wince kind of thing. I always fill my bladder though. I actually remembered it being sore before I went. Maybe each of us is different, different body types etc xx

 

[Shanivy]

So I had some pretty shit news last night. Me, OH, my sister, her husband, my brother and his girlfriend all had a meal last night, will be the last time before Christmas that we see each other.

Halfway through, my sister announces that she's 9 weeks pregnant ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I know I sound like a bitch, but I'm so pissed off with her!! After everything she said to me the other day and she's pregnant?! Not only that, but she's due 11 days after me and her dating scan is 5 days after mine. I feel like a bitch for what I'm thinking, but why can't I just have one thing for myself?! My whole life I've shared everything with her, my christening was shared, she passed her driving test just after me so I was forgotten about etc. People always forget about me because I'm quiet and she isn't. And the past 2 years have been all about her, she got pregnant, then engaged and then married. I thought finally I was going to get my moment, then she's taken it! What does this mean now, shared baby showers, shared christenings, shared birthday parties?! And to wait this long to tell me when she's known since her wedding that she was!! And I said to her, you're pregnant take a test I can feel it!! And she already knew and lied to me! I wouldn't mind so much if it was like 4 weeks apart, but a week?! Sorry ladies, I probably sound like the worst person in the world right now! But having always been overshadowed by my younger sister, this really takes the piss in my eyes. Obviously I'm happy for her (I know it doesn't seem it but I am), she has her own life and I knew she was going to try for a baby.

But... my anger, I think, although being aimed at my sister's situation is really aimed at the other bit of news I got last night. My brother says after my sister's announcement "oh yeah do you know that dad is having another baby too, due in July" OMG ARE YOU JOKING ME?!!! I don't know if anyone remembers the situation with my dad but he is a fucking asshole. He walked out on me when I was 2 weeks old and barely gave me any time of day, I just wasn't important to him - yet my brother, he loves and spends time with and communicates with. So there was me wondering whether I should tell my dad out of courtesy or let him hear by hearsay. Well hasn't this just made my mind up?! I have a sibling on the way that nobody can be bothered to tell me about because apparently I mean nothing to any of them! Well dad you have a grandchild that you're never going to know because you're a dick!

I must have been a horrible horrible person in my previous life.

Happy Monday ladies

Oh Jem

That's a lot for a Monday morning! I don't think you're a bad person at all. Any woman having their first baby would like to be the only one in the family to be pregnant. It's something you never experience again the same way so I get how you'd be upset right now. I'd probably feel the same. I certainly wouldnt share your shower or anything. I think with what your sister said to you the other day she's disgraceful! If anything she should have been your number 1 cheerleader if she was going through it too! Maybe take a positive that your baby will have a cousin the same age to grow up with? There's not much you can do about it though now, so don't let her news spoil your pregnancy. Easier said than done I know

Also I'm so so sorry for my bluntness but your dad sounds like a grade a asshole and I really don't think he deserves you as a daughter. How would you feel if this was your OH doing this to your child 20 years down the line. You'd be livid. I'm mad for you! He's a dickhead for treating you this way and not telling you about his baby but seemingly everyone else?. It's completely up to you but I personally don't think you owe him anything at all hun xx

 

[JemRose]

I just feel like life is kicking me whilst I'm down at the moment. But yes I am happy that the babies will be so close together. I think I could have processed the news better without my brother chucking a spanner in the works about my dad!!

And yes completely agree with you about my dad, he won't be told a thing. I have tried and tried for years. I made it clear I was pissed off about my dad and my brother said it's my own fault because I don't go see him that's why I don't get told ... well actually I don't go see him for reasons such as this!! My whole life I have tried for a connection with him and always got nothing back, I don't know why I keep trying. I think this time is truly it - I'm done! x

 

[LuckyLaura]

Thanks guys I have a Dr appointment at 2.30 today so I'm going to ask for a pee pot in those words- cuz I'm adulting. I am going to speak with them to see if there is anything they can give me for the nausea that has taken over my life and means I need to spend more time at home which is not where I need to be right now. I want to go back to work and get some space from my awful family lol

Sorry for moaning... Again I'm really hoping things improve cuz I can't see how we could stay here with my mum overreacting and getting overly involved in every little aspect of our lives. Xx

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[LuckyLaura]

So I had some pretty shit news last night. Me, OH, my sister, her husband, my brother and his girlfriend all had a meal last night, will be the last time before Christmas that we see each other.

Halfway through, my sister announces that she's 9 weeks pregnant ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I know I sound like a bitch, but I'm so pissed off with her!! After everything she said to me the other day and she's pregnant?! Not only that, but she's due 11 days after me and her dating scan is 5 days after mine. I feel like a bitch for what I'm thinking, but why can't I just have one thing for myself?! My whole life I've shared everything with her, my christening was shared, she passed her driving test just after me so I was forgotten about etc. People always forget about me because I'm quiet and she isn't. And the past 2 years have been all about her, she got pregnant, then engaged and then married. I thought finally I was going to get my moment, then she's taken it! What does this mean now, shared baby showers, shared christenings, shared birthday parties?! And to wait this long to tell me when she's known since her wedding that she was!! And I said to her, you're pregnant take a test I can feel it!! And she already knew and lied to me! I wouldn't mind so much if it was like 4 weeks apart, but a week?! Sorry ladies, I probably sound like the worst person in the world right now! But having always been overshadowed by my younger sister, this really takes the piss in my eyes. Obviously I'm happy for her (I know it doesn't seem it but I am), she has her own life and I knew she was going to try for a baby.

But... my anger, I think, although being aimed at my sister's situation is really aimed at the other bit of news I got last night. My brother says after my sister's announcement "oh yeah do you know that dad is having another baby too, due in July" OMG ARE YOU JOKING ME?!!! I don't know if anyone remembers the situation with my dad but he is a fucking asshole. He walked out on me when I was 2 weeks old and barely gave me any time of day, I just wasn't important to him - yet my brother, he loves and spends time with and communicates with. So there was me wondering whether I should tell my dad out of courtesy or let him hear by hearsay. Well hasn't this just made my mind up?! I have a sibling on the way that nobody can be bothered to tell me about because apparently I mean nothing to any of them! Well dad you have a grandchild that you're never going to know because you're a dick!

I must have been a horrible horrible person in my previous life.

Happy Monday ladies

OMG JemRose I'm so sorry. Big hugs!

Parents and family are a nightmare I can totally get that I have an older brother who is the golden boy although he's a total twat and messes up everything he ever touches but somehow still manages to come out as the best thing since sliced bread. He quit shool before his GCSEs and yet is still apparently smarter than me who has those, a levels and an honours degree and currently studying for psychology accreditation. When I passed my driving test I came home to find him and mum having a huge row cuz he had been fired from his job and they didn't even notice I came home for about 3 hours and didn't ask how I got on even. On my 18th birthday my brother totalled his car (his brand new car my mum bought him) and completely overshadowed everything. The list goes on. Always the same... He's been fired, broke up with a girlfriend, had a row with a friend and smashed their car in anger and mum had to pay the costs. He got a speeding ticket and refused to pay and taken to court. But apparently I'm much worse cuz my mum looked after my cat for a few years while I was in Scotland for uni. I'm a terrible burden on her

When I met my husband my mum started all this rubbish about how he might just be after a visa cuz he's foreign and tried all kinds of mind games. He already had a visa he didn't need me for that.

Now that I'm pregnant after my mum told everyone even tho I asked her not to.. My brother came around and told me now I had to get my act together now. I nearly punched him. Coming from the 30 year old man who only recently held down a job.

Family is a great concept if it works. If it doesn't you end up your whole life with this heavy chain of misery around your neck dragging you down, judging and criticising everything. My mum ruins literally every little bit of happiness so it's a struggle for me to stay positive

The only good thing is I feel it's taught me exactly how I will never be with my children xx

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[KHTW]

Oh boy! Sorry for saying this but your families suck and it seems you'd both be better off far, far away from them!!! x

Jem, forget about your sister. Forget about your dad. Let them live their life while you live yours. It looks like all they cause is upset and stress x

 

[JemRose]

Think we should just all stick to our own little bubble with our partners and babies and fuck the rest of the world haha x

 

[LuckyLaura]

Think we should just all stick to our own little bubble with our partners and babies and fuck the rest of the world haha x

I'm totally with u on that one JemRose. My husband is the only thing that gets me through most days living here lol xx

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[LuckyLaura]

Oh boy! Sorry for saying this but your families suck and it seems you'd both be better off far, far away from them!!! x

Jem, forget about your sister. Forget about your dad. Let them live their life while you live yours. It looks like all they cause is upset and stress x

Don't be sorry at all. I speak for myself when I say my family is a train wreck and it's all due to my mother and her crazy behaviour. She drives us all apart and then puts stupid ideas against each other in each others minds and my dad and brother haven't wit enough to see that she's manipulative and playing with them and theyre playing right into her hands

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[JemRose]

Thought I'd be nice and ask my sister how she's doing "oh I'm fine, just had a bit of heartburn that's it.. guess my body's used to it from last time" PISS OFF MISS PERFECT

 

[KHTW]

Ladies I am so tired!! Exhausted really! I though at this stage I should start feeling more like myself?! The nausia is gone which is a bonus but this tiredness is killing me I feel tired at work and even more tired at home. I am ready to go to bed with DD at 7.30!!! I also noticed that I find it hard to catch my breath when laying down in bed. You guys feeling the same? x

 

[_GG_]

She's not perfect though is she JR!
The way she talks and behaves is far from perfect and far from sisterly, so don't let yourself get upset by her. Instead, let yourself pity her and giggle at her need for attention and validation all the time.

I said a few posts back that indifference to most things is the key to my happiness. Well, indifference is also one of the most powerful tools you can use against pretty much anyone and anything...especially those who crave a reaction.

Your dad as Well, he'll know how to cope with your anger, your desire for a connection, even your hate. He don't know how to cope with your total indifference as there is no way to cope.

I remember saying to my sister years ago, when she was annoyed at my having broken up with my ex and gone home to spend the Christmas weeks with my parents. She said it was ridiculous that we'd broken up and what on earth would she tell people about why I was living at home for Christmas.
I didn't plan it, but I just burst I to laughter. She was so affronted and screamed at me for not taking her seriously. I shrugged my shoulders and just said, "nothing you just said is my problem sis. Tell them I got kicked out of my nudist camp for all I care or is that not dramatic enough for you?".

I continued to giggle while my 30yr old sister had an actual tantrum and tried to get my mum to tell me to behave. My mum did nothing. I did nothing. My sister didn't then speak to me for a year because I'd offended her.
At a family party, I overheard her say that, so I corrected her. I said, "no, you took offence to something ridiculous, there's a difference". My aunt, who we both admire greatly asked what the hell had I done to mean it had been a year since my sister had spoken to me so I laughed again and said, "go on then sis...tell her how awful I was". My sister told her, my aunt almost pissed herself laughing and my sister has been great ever since.

People treat us the way we allow them to treat us. Very often, we have no idea that we are allowing it. Getting angry doesn't work, trying to talk it out doesn't work. These people will always find a way to spin and make it about them. Indifference removes their ability to control the narrative.
And best of all, always be polite, always have a smile and always be kind and there will be absolutely fuck all they can do about it.

My personal favourite tactic with people like overbearing and interfering mums...I find something in what they've said to agree with. It totally catches them off guard and then I can disagree with everything else without the usual accusations of just disagreeing with everything...because I haven't. Also massages their super egos a bit as Well, lol.

I far from have life all figured out, but I've managed to find my happiness and whilst I still have huge moments with Dans family...I can deal with them easily enough now. It took a while as I didn't want to upset Dan but when he pretty much begged for help, I hit them with a shot load of indifference and whilst they're still annoying as fuck, they now know that if they carry on like twats, Dan and I will just carry on and do our own thing.

Find your inner diva...it took me the best part of 30 years, but so worth it. Nobody can make me feel inferior, stupid, irrelevant or anything negative anymore, because I really rather like myself and Dan lives me. Everyone else can take me as I am....as I do with them...or they can get fucked.

 

[_GG_]

Ladies I am so tired!! Exhausted really! I though at this stage I should start feeling more like myself?! The nausia is gone which is a bonus but this tiredness is killing me I feel tired at work and even more tired at home. I am ready to go to bed with DD at 7.30!!! I also noticed that I find it hard to catch my breath when laying down in bed. You guys feeling the same? x

I don't think I've taken a fully satisfying breath for about two weeks. And yes...the tiredness is killing me at the moment.

A neighbour dropped off some tools she borrowed at like 11am and I went to the door in my dressing gown. She's lovely bless her and said, " oh no, are you not feeling Well?" I said, "No, I'm fine, just knackered so went back to bed after doing the animals. Thanks for getting me up, I need a wee". Lol. She just laughed with me.

 

[JemRose]

GG I will be taking a leaf out of your book and doing exactly that.. being ignorant to them and having my own little family x

 

[PeanutButter]

Jem, the way she acted with you about your pregnancy she was probably jealous. And sorry about your dad, Hope you'll feel better about it all after you've had time to accept it etc X

Shan, I agree, you should quit. Job sounds ridiculous! X

Everyone's family's seem to get abit crazy around Xmas I think, once new year's is over I'm sure everything will calm down x

Was waiting for a phone call from Dr to tell me when to go in today for my 'emergency' scan. And I haven't herd anything. I called up at 10 the receptionist said she'll get him to call me. Calling back at 3 :/

 

[Shanivy]

PB I really think you and baba are fine and I also think you should be complaining about that stupid fucking doctor! As far as he's concerned you've not heard a heartbeat (something he shouldn't have worried you over anyway) and yet is still taking his sweet time calling you about an emergency scan. Xx

KHTW I feel you! I'm soo beyond tired lol. I don't remember being like this with dd. Nausea is still on and off for me. But definitely the exhaustion is a bloody nightmare. I can't get to sleep for ages at night and if I wake up, then I'm up. So frustrating especially when dd wakes up like a Disney princess ready for the day haha Xx

We really are a bunch of moans haha!

 

[JemRose]

PB can't believe you haven't had a scan yet?! I would go A&E and demand one lol x

 

[_GG_]

PB I really think you and baba are fine and I also think you should be complaining about that stupid fucking doctor! As far as he's concerned you've not heard a heartbeat (something he shouldn't have worried you over anyway) and yet is still taking his sweet time calling you about an emergency scan. Xx

KHTW I feel you! I'm soo beyond tired lol. I don't remember being like this with dd. Nausea is still on and off for me. But definitely the exhaustion is a bloody nightmare. I can't get to sleep for ages at night and if I wake up, then I'm up. So frustrating especially when dd wakes up like a Disney princess ready for the day haha Xx

We really are a bunch of moans haha!

Ha, love being part of this bunch of moans, lol.

Yeah, I had a couple of nausea free weeks but it's been back on and off the last few days.

PB, I think you're being extremely patient. You should have been in for a scan today, not having to call and chase the gp to do his job!

 

[JemRose]

When does this nausea end?! We all seem to be in the same boat with the nausea. It's so on and off, but when it's on it's almost unbearable. I'm trying to embrace it and think, this nausea is here because I'm growing my little baby inside me!! But the other part of me is like omg just be sick or stop feeling sick!!!!

Got a cake in front of me at work that a doctor's wife has made for everyone, my colleague bought me up a slice and I'm just sat here staring at it wanting to eat it but also wanting to puke ffs!!!

 

[PeanutButter]

I do think baby is OK, still doubt in the back of my mind still tho.
Just called again, and the receptionist basically being bitchy about it cos I didn't know his name! The fuck. Could literally just look at Friday's appointments. Anyways she said he will ring, but he rings 'as and when'. OK then. I don't know how I'm calm honestly. I woke up at 4 cos was anxious about it. My hubby is going mental lol. He said if no one rings were making an appointment tomorrow and shouting at some people. Meh