**** july mummies 2018 *****

[_GG_]

Lol Laura go to your doctors and ask for a sample pot. If not you can just do one at the appointment. Lovely image of your sprinting into the appointment with your hands cupped haha xx

Didn't go to work today fuck them. I think I'm done tbh. My plan after the baby is to take maternity and go back to work. If I quit obviously it'll be harder since I'll need to find a job first. But really it wouldn't be *that* hard for what I like to do I'm certainly qualified enough.

Shepherdess oh my goodness your oh is certainly busy. I dont how you guys do it. Hopefully it works out that you can get him around for a decent bit. TBH I'm not nearly as worried this time about being on my own 2nd time around . Do you find that? Xx

Me and OH only found out last night men are legally able to request 2 antenatal appointments off even if they have no holidays. Up to 6 1/2 hours. His work said they'd really need him on the 28th for our other scan. Then I looked it up and found out they have to let him. Ha. And this is our 2nd. Dunno if you ladies knew this.

Fela I get dizzy if I get up too fast or if it's too hot. It's horrible lol xx

Well done, fuck 'em. You don't need the negativity of twatty employers in your life!

PB, hope you're all okay.

Off to do some Christmas shopping and all I want to do is sleep. Our Jack Russell, who is 9.5 years old has always been a little anxious when we leave but the past month, he's been awful. Jumping at the doors at night constantly, whining, weeing and pooing in the house.
He was so bad last night that this morning, I have managed to persuade Dan to ignore him and do it properly. It's a brilliant behaviour tool with almost anything and with 4 dogs, we've had to do it twice before and both times, worked perfectly within about 3-5 days.
This morning, the JR has spent over two hours pacing the living room, trying to jump up on the sofa, staring at us, whining, trying to way his tail and be cute.. the works. He has just figured it out and has gone over to the dog sofa and fallen asleep.

It'll take a while longer for him to go back to seeing the other dogs as his pack, but convincing Dan not to constantly let him up for cuddles or inn the bed is a huge leap forward! Fx we'll have some uninterrupted nights soon as I still can't sleep properly anyway, so him jumping at the door every 20 minutes has been a bloody nightmare!

Hope all you lovelies have a wonderful Sunday xxx

 

[Shanivy]

Lol Laura go to your doctors and ask for a sample pot. If not you can just do one at the appointment. Lovely image of your sprinting into the appointment with your hands cupped haha xx

Didn't go to work today fuck them. I think I'm done tbh. My plan after the baby is to take maternity and go back to work. If I quit obviously it'll be harder since I'll need to find a job first. But really it wouldn't be *that* hard for what I like to do I'm certainly qualified enough.

Shepherdess oh my goodness your oh is certainly busy. I dont how you guys do it. Hopefully it works out that you can get him around for a decent bit. TBH I'm not nearly as worried this time about being on my own 2nd time around . Do you find that? Xx

Me and OH only found out last night men are legally able to request 2 antenatal appointments off even if they have no holidays. Up to 6 1/2 hours. His work said they'd really need him on the 28th for our other scan. Then I looked it up and found out they have to let him. Ha. And this is our 2nd. Dunno if you ladies knew this.

Fela I get dizzy if I get up too fast or if it's too hot. It's horrible lol xx

Well done, fuck 'em. You don't need the negativity of twatty employers in your life!

PB, hope you're all okay.

Off to do some Christmas shopping and all I want to do is sleep. Our Jack Russell, who is 9.5 years old has always been a little anxious when we leave but the past month, he's been awful. Jumping at the doors at night constantly, whining, weeing and pooing in the house.
He was so bad last night that this morning, I have managed to persuade Dan to ignore him and do it properly. It's a brilliant behaviour tool with almost anything and with 4 dogs, we've had to do it twice before and both times, worked perfectly within about 3-5 days.
This morning, the JR has spent over two hours pacing the living room, trying to jump up on the sofa, staring at us, whining, trying to way his tail and be cute.. the works. He has just figured it out and has gone over to the dog sofa and fallen asleep.

It'll take a while longer for him to go back to seeing the other dogs as his pack, but convincing Dan not to constantly let him up for cuddles or inn the bed is a huge leap forward! Fx we'll have some uninterrupted nights soon as I still can't sleep properly anyway, so him jumping at the door every 20 minutes has been a bloody nightmare!

Hope all you lovelies have a wonderful Sunday xxx

Poor thing he must sense the pregnancy too. My lab was a joy but when I got pregnant with dd she started acting up. She would wait until we left and would empty the bin of rubbish and scatter it all over the house. Big shock for us lol. You're absolutely doing the right thing, that's how we did it and sure you'll know with 4 lol. My oh always struggled to ignore her, he would lavish her with attention and pretty much reward her for the negative behaviour She stopped as soon as the baby came though and went back to her usual calm lovely self

lol I feel like I'm doing something really irresponsible but I do think I'm giving my notice on Tuesday. If they don't sack me 1st

Have a lovely day Christmas shopping GG, despite the baby tiredness xx

 

[Fela]

Shan, if this current job is making you miserable and it's a simple enough thing to find similar work elsewhere then I think you should just go for it! Handing your notice and then working your notice will be good because you'll know there is a hard end date within sight, but obviously it looks better done that way. It's pretty hard for them to fire you just like that, they usually have to do warnings and the like, so I'd get your notice in. I'm sure you'll do what is right for you and your family.

Slept badly last night, was worrying about the scan....which is silly because of course nothing I can do either way... just off to cinema to watch the new Star Wars film, hope I don't fall asleep half way through!

 

[Shanivy]

Shan, if this current job is making you miserable and it's a simple enough thing to find similar work elsewhere then I think you should just go for it! Handing your notice and then working your notice will be good because you'll know there is a hard end date within sight, but obviously it looks better done that way. It's pretty hard for them to fire you just like that, they usually have to do warnings and the like, so I'd get your notice in. I'm sure you'll do what is right for you and your family.

Slept badly last night, was worrying about the scan....which is silly because of course nothing I can do either way... just off to cinema to watch the new Star Wars film, hope I don't fall asleep half way through!

Thanks I know, that's what I'm going to do I reckon. Maybe seems a bit dramatic over Christmas day but it's not just that. There's a few things. My flexi schedule doesn't work for me. I'm permanent staff now with one placement. But I can still be called up the night before and told I'm working. Where the other girls I work with don't get that. And our management has went to shit. I've never had a warning so I think I'll get my notice in easy enough. It's a shame cause I do love my job, just not the company. Staff keep the place going but they really get treated like shit tbh. OH wants me to leave too he hates how they are. Says its stresses me too much and i'll get another placement easy enough. I'll lose maternity but its not much anyway. Still feels so irresponsible to quit!

We all worry about our scans hun its perfectly normal. Nothing anyone can say or do will help you not to worry lol. We all think we will have mc or something will be wrong. 1st baby or 10th, I don't think that ever changes. I'm sure yours will go perfectly. I didn't sleep at all before mine last week. I've another on the 28th and although I saw baby I'm still nervous about that one. Its crazy but thats motherhood Cant wait to see your pic!

Enjoy the film, I'm being tortured by OH to go see that so I'm sure I'll be dragged there next week haha xx

 

[Fela]

Ah it was really good was more me doing the dragging and DH coming along for the ride, I was brought up on all things sci if, I love it I blame my dad and the endless hours of Buck Rogers when I was a kid.

 

[Shepherdess]

Fela I love star wars! we're seeing it on NYD and I can't wait!

hope you had a good day shopping GG

shanivy, before the pregnancy did you enjoy your job? if you can afford it I'd be tempted to quit and once baby is 1 find a new job and start over.

I'm definitely more confident about having a newborn this time but I'm just worried about DD. we do so much together and really are best friends. I just hate the idea of her being bored and fed up as I attend to a newborn so I'd like oh to be around while I get into the swing of things to do the usually crafty things or take DD for walks etc

we've been out most of the day today visiting family so about to sit down with some bacon sandwiches and a DVD. i had another bad nights sleep last night so hoping to get the dvd on soon so i can have an early night

 

[Fela]

It’s weird, this is my first baby and I can’t quite get my head around stopping work at all! The longest I’ve had off work was for our honeymoon in february, and before that I’d always been holding down a job even during summer holidays whilst at school/college and so on so the idea of having potentially months off work is a big on to wrap my mind around. I’ve seen all sorts of reactions from friends and colleagues who have had babies ranging from “I’m never coming back. I’ll be handing in my notice” to “dear god I need some adult conversation, I’ll be back in 6 months” and I’m not sure where on that spectrum I will be.. my observations have been that it’s often other mothers who judge each other the most strongly for each other’s choices which I think is such a shame because we need to support each other whether we want a year off want to stay at home forever or choose to go back to work ASAP!

Shepherdess I really enjoyed the film it was great fun, impressed that you are waiting so long! I won’t spoil it for you!I hope we both get a better nights sleep tonight!

 

[Shepherdess]

It’s weird, this is my first baby and I can’t quite get my head around stopping work at all! The longest I’ve had off work was for our honeymoon in february, and before that I’d always been holding down a job even during summer holidays whilst at school/college and so on so the idea of having potentially months off work is a big on to wrap my mind around. I’ve seen all sorts of reactions from friends and colleagues who have had babies ranging from “I’m never coming back. I’ll be handing in my notice” to “dear god I need some adult conversation, I’ll be back in 6 months” and I’m not sure where on that spectrum I will be.. my observations have been that it’s often other mothers who judge each other the most strongly for each other’s choices which I think is such a shame because we need to support each other whether we want a year off want to stay at home forever or choose to go back to work ASAP!

Shepherdess I really enjoyed the film it was great fun, impressed that you are waiting so long! I won’t spoil it for you!I hope we both get a better nights sleep tonight!

I think you're right women can be too hard on each other but I also think women need to be confident in there decisions and generally if you are truly happy and content in your choice other people's opinions really don't come into consideration

I always planned to stay at home while my children are small. I've always worked incredibly hard since I was 16 but knew I wanted to be the one looking after my children in their early years. I'm very lucky that I can do this. we are skint, but we get by, only just. my husband works very hard but he loves his job and wouldn't ever want to do anything else. I help him working my bum off two mornings a week while DD is in nursery for her own confidence and learning and my mum has her one day per week. I can't bare to be apart from her more then that. once this baby reaches 3/4 I'll be looking to get back into work but honestly it will never ever come before my family. I love working and work hard but it really means nothing to me now. lots of women would think me old fashioned and probably have opinions but I'm happy and content so I don't care what others think. each to their own, especially in parenting. women clash on so many levels and topics, when the majority of the time there is no right or wrong

 

[Fela]

Absolutely! I think my concern is actually the opposite to yours, not that people would think me old-fashioned (which I would definitely never say about anyone anyway) but that I’m lacking in the requisite maternal qualities because I want to go back to work fairly quickly (at the moment anyway, things may change of course)!

But I think you are right, I shouldn’t worry what other people may think... sounds like parenting is enough of a mind field without letting the opinions of others get you down.

 

[_GG_]

Other people have opinions about me and I think, "jog on sweet cheeks, you don't throw my snot rags in the bin when I'm too I'll to get out of bed so I give not a single shit what you think".

I think that pretty much sums it up for me.

 

[Fela]

Lol well said GG, I think I need to take a leaf out of both of your respective books and stop worrying

 

[_GG_]

Lol well said GG, I think I need to take a leaf out of both of your respective books and stop worrying

I don't know how old you are Fela, but at 39, I have long since realised that the key to happiness is indifference most of the time. I just don't care about almost all things, lol.

 

[Shanivy]

Yes GG!! Everyone is different. I do what is best for me and my family and couldn't give a shit what anyone thinks. At the end of the day somebody's negative opinion doesn't make a difference to my situation.

#the whole work thing. We all are so different. I do love what I do.(present situation and shitty company aside) But I have days where I just dont want to leave DD. If you work full time its wrong, part time its not enough, stay at home its wrong. Who cares honestly do what you want and fuck anyone else's opinion. I've had people go " I don't know why working mums don't want to be with their kids children NEED their mums" and then "In this day and age women can easily work FULL time with a family I'VE done it" Honestly why are women the worst for putting each other down? I'm not lecturing any of you but ugh it drives me mad, we shouldn't feel guilty for either decision.

I cant sleep and I'm pissed about it, can you tell? Lol

Shepherdess I sort of think I'd like to stay at home for a bit longer this time, now I have two. I get what you mean about DD. We're joined at the hip and I'm so worried how she'll feel without me so much. Even how to split time properly so she doesn't feel I've chosen the baby more over her. It's a difficult balance. I've been thinking about how much time breastfeeding took with us to get right. Things like that. I'm also so emotional with her lately. She's not going to be my baby anymore its such a strange feeling!! xx

 

[_GG_]

Yes GG!! Everyone is different. I do what is best for me and my family and couldn't give a shit what anyone thinks. At the end of the day somebody's negative opinion doesn't make a difference to my situation.

#the whole work thing. We all are so different. I do love what I do.(present situation and shitty company aside) But I have days where I just dont want to leave DD. If you work full time its wrong, part time its not enough, stay at home its wrong. Who cares honestly do what you want and fuck anyone else's opinion. I've had people go " I don't know why working mums don't want to be with their kids children NEED their mums" and then "In this day and age women can easily work FULL time with a family I'VE done it" Honestly why are women the worst for putting each other down? I'm not lecturing any of you but ugh it drives me mad, we shouldn't feel guilty for either decision.

I cant sleep and I'm pissed about it, can you tell? Lol

Shepherdess I sort of think I'd like to stay at home for a bit longer this time, now I have two. I get what you mean about DD. We're joined at the hip and I'm so worried how she'll feel without me so much. Even how to split time properly so she doesn't feel I've chosen the baby more over her. It's a difficult balance. I've been thinking about how much time breastfeeding took with us to get right. Things like that. I'm also so emotional with her lately. She's not going to be my baby anymore its such a strange feeling!! xx

Absolutely. Each to their own and unless you're actually going to harm your child, I'll have nothing negative to say.

I asked Dan today if he wanted to share the leave and he didn't even know it was possible. Bless him. I'll be just doing the pub by then and with help so realistically, I can just pop down the road a few times a day to keep an eye on things and we'll hopefully be able to share lots of it together.

Still...won't make any actual decisions yet...it's our first baby, who knows how we will feel when the time comes?

 

[Shepherdess]

Shepherdess I sort of think I'd like to stay at home for a bit longer this time, now I have two. I get what you mean about DD. We're joined at the hip and I'm so worried how she'll feel without me so much. Even how to split time properly so she doesn't feel I've chosen the baby more over her. It's a difficult balance. I've been thinking about how much time breastfeeding took with us to get right. Things like that. I'm also so emotional with her lately. She's not going to be my baby anymore its such a strange feeling!! xx

yes I totally get what you mean; DD is a proper little person now but I still look at her and go "you're the cutest, most beautiful, adorable baby ever". our dogs started barking in their kennels this morning at 5ish and DD couldn't sleep so eventually I brought her into my bed, it's still the best feeling in the world having her little arms around my neck and her snoring into my cheek. OH seems to think I won't be able to do this come next autumn but I'm adamant there will always be room in my bed for both my babies

we got quite lucky last time and got the hang of BF quite quickly but she did an awful lot of cluster feeding in the evening and I already worry about trying to feed and bath DD around this. we don't watch a lot of tv atm because we're busy playing and reading but I'm already kicking myself that I know I'll have the tv on a bit more in the newborn weeks

 

[KHTW]

Oh Shan what a shitty shitty situation to be in right now with work. Honestly if you can afford it - quit! No work is worth stress like that and especially now being pregnant!

Shan, Shep, I have the same worries about DD and how things will work once the baby is here. She gets 100% attention from both of us and is loving it! I already feel guilty for not having time for her once baby arrives.

Fela, I don't know you and I can't possibly know how you are going to feel about going back to work after having your baby but I can tell you about my experience. In my head, before DD was born the plan was simple - 9 months maternity then back to work! Then I had my baby. First 4 month was a bliss, I could just sit on the sofa with her in my arms and stay there forever! Then the boredom kicked in... it was still fantastic to spend time with my baby but the days seems to get longer and longer and I really missed talking to grown ups and having a cup of tea that is still warm and peeing in peace haha! However once it was time to go back to work I was really upset and didn't want to go and leave DD at home. I wanted to be the one she sees when she wakes up, the one that feeds her breakfast and lunch, the one to cuddle her before she fall asleep in the afternoon etc. But I did go to work and it was hard for the first few weeks but after that we got into a nice routine and 2 years later we are doing just fine.
Basically what I am trying to say is to maybe not plan your return to work in every detail yet. Give yourself time, see how you feel after the baby is born. But whatever decision you make is yours and nobody else's business xx

 

[KHTW]

Scan in 5 days wooohooo!!!!!!!!!!

Was it honestly painful or just uncomfortable? I can't remember that far back... x

 

[Shepherdess]

mine wasn't painful or uncomfortable. I didn't manage a full bladder either as I couldn't keep anything down that morning. my baby was lazy though and I had to do a few hip thrusts to get baby into a good position for the NT measurement but it was still fine.

 

[JemRose]

Well you've been busy this weekend lol!!

Shan I'd definitely quit if you can afford it, if I could afford it I'd have quit weeks ago! But I can't afford it which is so annoying

Fela, I'm the complete opposite knowing that I have to go back to work after my maternity for at least 3 months otherwise I have to pay back the NHS maternity pay I get when really, I don't want to be going back to work at all. I am in the mindset that I think I will go back for a few hours a week for 3 months and then leave, but I don't know how possible that is!

 

[JemRose]

So I had some pretty shit news last night. Me, OH, my sister, her husband, my brother and his girlfriend all had a meal last night, will be the last time before Christmas that we see each other.

Halfway through, my sister announces that she's 9 weeks pregnant ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I know I sound like a bitch, but I'm so pissed off with her!! After everything she said to me the other day and she's pregnant?! Not only that, but she's due 11 days after me and her dating scan is 5 days after mine. I feel like a bitch for what I'm thinking, but why can't I just have one thing for myself?! My whole life I've shared everything with her, my christening was shared, she passed her driving test just after me so I was forgotten about etc. People always forget about me because I'm quiet and she isn't. And the past 2 years have been all about her, she got pregnant, then engaged and then married. I thought finally I was going to get my moment, then she's taken it! What does this mean now, shared baby showers, shared christenings, shared birthday parties?! And to wait this long to tell me when she's known since her wedding that she was!! And I said to her, you're pregnant take a test I can feel it!! And she already knew and lied to me! I wouldn't mind so much if it was like 4 weeks apart, but a week?! Sorry ladies, I probably sound like the worst person in the world right now! But having always been overshadowed by my younger sister, this really takes the piss in my eyes. Obviously I'm happy for her (I know it doesn't seem it but I am), she has her own life and I knew she was going to try for a baby.

But... my anger, I think, although being aimed at my sister's situation is really aimed at the other bit of news I got last night. My brother says after my sister's announcement "oh yeah do you know that dad is having another baby too, due in July" OMG ARE YOU JOKING ME?!!! I don't know if anyone remembers the situation with my dad but he is a fucking asshole. He walked out on me when I was 2 weeks old and barely gave me any time of day, I just wasn't important to him - yet my brother, he loves and spends time with and communicates with. So there was me wondering whether I should tell my dad out of courtesy or let him hear by hearsay. Well hasn't this just made my mind up?! I have a sibling on the way that nobody can be bothered to tell me about because apparently I mean nothing to any of them! Well dad you have a grandchild that you're never going to know because you're a dick!

I must have been a horrible horrible person in my previous life.

Happy Monday ladies