Money

[x-kirsty-x]

The question is hun would you be happeier without him? You could split up with him for things he "may" have done but then again wouldnt you have in the back of your mind 'what if he hasnt done anything?' it can go both ways,

All i will say is dont do anything you may end up regretting, its something you need to think about and although we can all help and advise you, its your decsision.

good luck xxx

Thanks hun

Course I dont want to be without him. We have a family and a baby on the way.

The thing is, every time he's lied he's said 'Well you know now, Im sorry and it wont happen again' but it did happen again.

He thinks sorry can make everything alright. I want to be with him but I need to make him see that Im not a pushover and I wont take any shit from him.

He thinks when I make up with him and start being nice again that he's got away with it

 

[weestar21]

dont know what to say hun but good luck and hope everything sorts itself out fast for you

take care

 

[Lyndsey]

I have been with my partner for 10 years and we have been married for 4. I found our when we remortgaged our house that he had taken on a loan...... the was 3 years ago ( 1 year after we got married). I was sitting in the estate agents saying no we have no loans and he says well actually yes I have one and it is for £8000 and was only set up 6 months ago!

I felt like a right fool and we fell out big time over it.

He has his money - I have mine but we have a joint account for all the bills and we always help one another out if either are short....

I felt as if he couldn't be trusted and the fact he was so secretive I felt was out of charector.

I won't say it has ruined our relationship.... the reason he took out the loan was to pay off some of the debts from our wedding and he didn't want me to worry about it ... but it has made me look at him in a totally different way. I mean if he can hide this what else can he hide..

We have now made a pact that we will be 100% honest with one another no matter what and I need to believe him on this. I think he was shocked at how upset I got over it to be honest.... Also I now contribute to the loan and we have increased the payments so it is all paid off..... why couldn't we have done this in the first place??

Men eh!

 

[x-kirsty-x]

but it has made me look at him in a totally different way. I mean if he can hide this what else can he hide..

My thoughts exactly! I cant trust him now. I've forgiven him about the loan, I mean its only money and I can see his reasons but when he tells me he's working overtime or he's going to play football with the lads I get a horrible feeling and I tell him I dont believe him.

We've been arguing every day since all this went on.

At the end of the day its not my fault, he's the one who lied and if he doesnt like the consequences he shouldnt have done it

I cant just turn the trust on and off, its gone. Im trying to make a go of things but I dont feel the same about him now.

 

[Lyndsey]

It will take time and he will now need to prove himself to you - Thats what my hubby has done. Make him show you that he can be trusted...

Ie) if he says he will be home at 10 then he is...... if he says that he is going to a certain pub then thats where I can find him... if he was decietful about anything else that would be the end of it.
Our relationship is now as strong as it ever was but he only has to lie to me once before I feel all those old emotions coming back...

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Today I found out OH got a loan 4 months ago from the bank to pay a few things off but he didnt tell me. I cant believe he hid that from me!

He's always been secretive with his bank and money. His excuse? Its his money, he earns it and he'll do what he wants with it. Never mind the fact that we have a family together and live together

We've been arguing all day over this. I cant trust him anymore, Im so hurt that he has been keeping things from me. If he's been lying about that he could be lying about other stuff too

I really cant trust him anymore. He's said he's sorry and he didnt tell me about the loan cos he thought I would have a go at him, apparently all I do is twist and moan about everything

Just when things were starting to go well between us again I find this out. Surely if he loved me like he says he does he would talk to me about money but its all one huge secret. He got the loan to pay off a store card that he was struggling with, and his overdraft. If the tables were turned I would talk to him and ask his opinion before I did anything. Am I such a bitch for wanting to be kept informed of his finances?!

Sorry, rant over

Same as mine hun, he got a £3000 loan 4 yrs ago for a piss up, and then had an overdraft of £1500, so he got a loan 3 months ago (without telling me) to pay off his overdraft and then ran it right up again!! So he drank an extra £1500 and now we have to pay out £100 a month on that loan on top of the £100 on the first loan too!! Not to mention his £100 a month bar tab at work