Internal scan performed by male

[Callum]

Hey everyone,

i really need some advice.

I am 20 years old, i am a father to be, my fiance is 9 weeks now and the subject of male midwifery & internal scans seems to be all we debate about as i realy realy realy realy do not agree with it,
i am not sexist or prejudice or narrow minded.... i just dont want another man to probe in that region....thats supposed to be for me only!!
and what if the man midwife is better looking than me?
what if my fiance will enjoy it?
everytime i read a blog stating that it doesent make a difference weather its a man or woman....i always seem to find another blog that states "oh i hope its a man, i hope hes good looking, i would prefer a man, it feels good when a man does it etc"
hopefully you catch my drift....
i realy dont want our engagement to be at jepordy over this but she dosent understand how i feel (although weve had numerous arguements about it)
i love her dearly and want to be supportive.........can someone please please please HELP ME!!!!

 

[Constantstar]

Hello hun. I've only ever had 1 internal scan (they only did up to 10 weeks) by a. Male scanner and was not sexual or anything to worry about. Its not nice that she has written those things to so perhaps you need to tell her how upset u r x

 

[LouLou1986]

ive had an internal by a male consultant and my fella is really funny, but it all changes when your there if you get me you dnt even think about it your more intrested in baby

 

[Callum]

thats the thing!!,
i am stubbernly not prepared to witness a man performing that sort of act on my wife to be.......i just think its very corruptive and dis-heartening.

 

[munchkin1982]

honestly hun it's not a sexual thing at all... turning the boot on the other foot, my OH "enjoyed" watching the somewhat "pretty" midwife doing my internal exam, lol, but really... don't stress over these things. It's purely medical and to be honest, not all that "pleasant" so your fiance won't really be enjoying the experience of the "internal"... just the experience of knowing that all is well with your baby.

However, if it really is a problem can you not request a female midwife? x

 

[cosmicgirl]

I think you need to stop and think about supporting your oh.

 

[Esoames]

I had the head of midwifery (a man) do a check on me during my labour and I wasn't bothered nor was my husband. They are all professionals after all

 

[cosmicgirl]

Couldn't agree more, they are highly trained professionals not carrying out "an act", it is a clinical investigation.

 

[Rachey]

All the midwives(man or woman) are interested in is making sure baby is ok in there, and I'm sure that's all your OH will be interested in too!

 

[Callum]

i support her more than any other man is capable of,

so without going off the subject...... i just want her to see that im upset that she would rather have a man do it.......why is this?

i am a traditionalist and beleive that a womans "u know" should be only for the one you love and not to be shared out for strangers with long sticks with condoms on......that takes away an incredible amount of pride from me..... and also very upsetting that she wants to do that when we could just have a female instead.

hopefully you can understand my point....im not being stroppy, im just sharing my opinions and seeking advice from experianced people to get through this sticky situation.

i hope u dont think im a horrible person

 

[Amyrose]

i agree girls these people are trained professionals and dont get any sexual pleasure out of there job.

 

[Rachey]

Your OH isn't being 'shared out for strangers' It's purely a medical thing to make sure that your baby is ok..

 

[cosmicgirl]

So what would happen if (touch wood it won't) but the male consultant has to assist your oh during labour? He has to check dilation? Or help baby out? What about when your oh has a smear test? I think you need to know that these are all professional people.

 

[amyjayne77]

She is not being "shared out", her welfare is and that of you child's is being examined.

I think you need to grow up a bit and support your fiance.

Could this be a joke people??

 

[Lilelephant]

All male and female midwifes are professional and I wouldn't mind either way. They've seen it all before!

 

[Nurse 26]

I have had a male consultant do internal scan, its not a sexual thing in anyway it is like anyother medical procedure. I wouldnt say there is any pleasure to get out of apart from baing able to see your baby is ok.

I'm also a nurse and we are all trained to perfrom these tasks day in day out and treat patients with respect.

Maybe you should speak to your OH, I guess you will have to think about when it comes to labour what if a Dr or make midwife needs to be involved and what if they are the only ones available in an emergency, best to get it all out the open now, at the end of the day it sounds like you are being jealous when there is nothing to be jealous about

Hope you work it out soon. xx

 

[Laura_C]

OMG internal examinations are not sexually pleasurable in anyway, quite the opposite!! Most Obs and Gynae doctors are male tbh so at some point in a pregnancy I would be surprised if a male professional didn't examine me whilst in labour or otherwise. Generally you arent required to have any internal examinations at all until you are in labour, they would really rather not. The internal scans are also not pleasurable so to speak. The probe is barely inserted, and I suspect your OH would really rather not have one!

At the end of the day these people are medical professionals and they have a job to do, if your OH is not uncomfortable either way that's fine - if she would really rather a female then she can request this.

Surely the health of your baby is far more important than worrying about whether your OH is being examined by a man.

 

[Princess81]

I have had an internal scan done by a male consultant. It was very far removed from any sort of sexual experience. The scan needed to be done and he did it. My o/h was fine with it, he was just glad that I could be helped. I think u need to try to see this from a practical point of view. If (god forbid) there are complications with the birth your partner may end up with a team of men examining her "down there" you just need to accept that they have a job to do.

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

What if it was a woman doing it that was a lesbian?! They're not doing it for sexual kicks, they're doing it because it's their job and it's a necessary medical procedure! Im pretty sure comments you've seen online saying "I hope it's a good looking man" are very lighthearted! Last thing you're going to be thinking about during an internal scan is if they're hot or not!

 

[cosmicgirl]

What if it was a woman doing it that was a lesbian?! They're not doing it for sexual kicks, they're doing it because it's their job and it's a necessary medical procedure! Im pretty sure comments you've seen online saying "I hope it's a good looking man" are very lighthearted! Last thing you're going to be thinking about during an internal scan is if they're hot or not!

Good point. I also think ladies say things like that because they are anxious. The last thing you need is some selfish immature man claiming rights to his womens body!